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...nah, it is just a keyhole I photographed a few years ago!
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Café Frequenters Episode 89
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
( letter Written to Mr. White 17 Nov 1999 )
Hi and Hello Mr White!
...or as we say here in Sweden when we talk about your former deeds and quests Mr. W (W with a large candy polka W!
yes all the rumors that circulate around about all the things you and your mighty hair did, they will never fade away from us mere mortals who didn´t escape this country of eternal strife, for the promised life on the Green Paradise Island!
How are the minions you keep at home? that Christian Swede and the Non-redhead seed-bearer of yours? the Munk hasn´t written for a while, has he caught some plague or has he gone mute with the ballpoint?
I am dead tired, the black pub for far to late again... well this tiredness is gonna be worst off when this weekend has past two parties are all ready planned Friday and that lesser known day the is behind that day!
The best thing is just to ignore those weak urges to close your eves and rest in school!
Right now I am at Café Pelles, what a surprise, well I needed
something stronger than that brown mud I brew at home!
...Oh By the Way mighty Mr W.!
you must have a look at my brand new homepage I have built . I have made certain to never get conscripted to either the army or forced labour for the rest of my life...
Can you imagine that they thought me HTML at school?
Ha, ha, ha, those fools, I mean this Internet has just started and now they let me loose at it...
Oh, yeah I am kind of enjoying my school, weird isn´t it?
I kind of enjoy the strange bunch of characters they collected and they thought me HTML at school too!
oh Yeah!
I will writer the at the front of the envelope so your mailman and the double-sisters working at the post office also can have a peak!
...oh yeah I am even friends with some of the teachers at my school! weird isn´t it? so I guess even the Devil can change to tailor made suits once in a while!
Ok I have to focus on my coffee now for a while, write soon!
all the best!
/ Johnny B.
Cayucos, California
I am frequently amazed at how well intertidal animals blend in with their surroundings, but I am equally amazed at how others stand out. This one has both qualities. But I DID see it move past a bright red-orange bryozoan colony that gave me pause just while I was questioning the bright color of the central disc.
Prisoner holding cell, originally located at Allandale train station and now part of the Simcoe County Museum.
Own image textured with Topaz Impression 2
~~~ Thank you all for viewing, kind comments, favs and awards - much appreciated! ~~~
Last days I do commonly feel sad. Maybe I am getting older and have achieved the age of questioning myself - what do I really want from life? Guess happiness and love. I am a happy person, but what about love? Someone to live the moments together... I thought I had it, but lost...Please my friends - take more time for the things in life what really matter!
Some advertising for my lovely friends, who you can find also on IG.
Very special thank you goes to Egill Egillson @egill60 for making those photos.
The lingerie outfit is from the www.velvet-dessous.at shop, which I discovered in Vienna a few weeks ago. Close to Stephandom in the heart of Vienna, by accident, I have landed in a small but very inviting lingerie dessous shop. To my luck, the owner of the shop – Helga Fuhrmann was there, and after few minutes being shy from my side we have started a discussion about lingerie, and I told her about Annastasya. It was a great time for me in that shop! All I wear on this photo is from Helgas shop!
I would also like to thank my lovely friend and sister Julia @juumy. She a wonderful person and also a make-up artist. She has just started her career in that direction, and I am honored to be her first model. Great experiences for both of us! Thank you for your support and your company in Dänemark.
My most warm thank you goes to Jeanne @jeanne_pink and her boobs products. I love my pair of very natural looking and sexy boobs. I can only recommend her products www.boobsshop.com
Portal is a conceptual composite of my own imagery made with the intent of questioning one's perspective on dimensions and reality.
Feel free to follow my work on any of these other sites:
FACEBOOK | 500px | WEBSITE | Instagram | Viewbug | Ello
or check out my latest project here: www.boredpanda.com/i-create-black-white-imagery-showing-t...
Bold= Diana
Italics= Artemis
Underlined= Queen Hippolyta
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I walked down the halls of the palace, my steps echoing through the empty halls. The last time I visited it seemed more, alive. I looked around at the beautiful landscape of Themyscira. The flowing rivers, the radiant foliage. The air was much cleaner here then in the city.
I hear fast steps from behind me. I turn to see Artemis chasing after me.
Diana wait!
I stopped walking and waited for her to catch up.
Would you like to go hunting with me?
I would love to but Queen Hippolyta requested my presence.
Artemis looked disappointed.
I promise that next time I visit I will.
With that Artemis ran back down the hall. When I reached the throne room I was instantly greeted by my mother, the queen.
Diana! How great it is to see you again!
I smiled.
It is great to see you also mother, why have you requested my presence?
The queen's face turned slightly pale.
Well you see, I've got word that Zeus has dissapperead. This may cause problems in Olympus.
Why does this concern us? We've lived at peace with the gods for years.
Some of the gods that are more, 'power hungry' may step up and this could cause problems between us.
I couldn't quite grasp what she meant but I went along with it.
So you want me to investigate?
Yes my daughter. Perhaps you can start by questioning Artemis.
As I walked I saw many people staring in the direction of Mount Olympus. The very mountain was cracking down the middle. Artemis sat staring with a shocked look on her face.
Artemis, what's going on?
She looked at me blankly.
I- I don't know...
I ran to my quarters and slid on my gauntlets. I picked up my sword and sheathed it on my side. I opened up my closet and pulled out my lasso. I ran back to where Artimes was.
You said you wanted to go hunting?
She looked at me.
Yeah.
Well we're going to hunt whatever did that!
I pointed at the cracking mountain.
Artemis flung her quiver onto her back. We were prepared, because if we weren't this could be the end of the world. This could be the day gods die.
Bored with the beauty that surrounds them, people revert to the security of their digital world. Free from the troubling questions of reality.
I woke up wondering
Questioning
How'd this begin?
How'd things get so out of place?
Feels like we're keeping score
Everyday's like before
But we both losing this game
They'll be times we
Fight, they'll be tears
We cry but it's just you and I
On this road
So will you know
When to hold me
And not let me be lonely
When I won't let you in
And sometimes when I'm angry
Will you know how to face me
Put me together again
And even when I need space
And don't mean the words that I say
Please don't go too far away
So when it feels like we're breaking
Will you know how to hate me
And love me again
I know there's part of me
That handles things so stubbornly
When you don't see it my way
People know we're both to blame
And pointing fingers everyday
You know it's never gonna change
They'll be times we
Fight, they'll be tears
We cry but it's just you and I
On this road
So will you know
When to hold me
And not let me be lonely
When I won't let you in
And sometimes when I'm angry
Will you know how to face me
Put me together again
And even when I need space
And don't mean the words that I say
Please don't go too far away
So when it feels like we're breaking
Will you know how to hate me
And love me again
So will you know
When to hold me
And not let me be lonely
When I won't let you in
And sometimes when I'm angry
Will you know how to face me
Put me together again
And even when I need space
And don't mean the words that I say
Please don't go too far away
So when it feels like we're breaking
Will you know how to hate me
And love me again
So when it feels like we're breaking
Will you know how to hate me
And love me again
On Explore, April 22, 2007, #36
Thank you very much to all of you my dear Flickr friends for your so kind comments!
Questionings of my wild river for this special day! Why deforest? Why your artificial green grass are more beautiful than our natural wild colours? Why you make life so difficult to us, rivers and lakes? You prefer us lifeless? Why?
Nature is commanded by obeying her!
Francis Bacon
On ne commande à la nature qu'en lui obéissant!
Alla natura si comanda solo ubbidendole!
A la naturaleza se le da órdenes sólo obedeciéndole!
Der Natur befiehlt man nur, indem man ihr gehorcht!
природой управляют, подчиняясь ей
يمكن التحكّم بالطبيعة عن طريق الخضوع لقوانينها
只有屈服于大自然才能去控制她
A natureza se comanda obedecendo a ela!
природата се командва чрез подчинение!
Prirodi se naređuje tako što joj se povinjava!
Přírodě poručíš tak, že ji poslechneš!
Natur kan kun styres ved at lytte til den!
De natuur wordt bevolen door haar te gehoorzamen!
Loodust valitseda tähendab sellele alluda!
Luontoa hallitaan tottelemalla sitä!
η φύση δαμάζεται με το να την υπακούς
הציות לטבע הוא הדרך היחידה לשלוט בו
A természetnek csak úgy parancsolhatunk, ha engedelmeskedünk neki!
Til að ná valdi á náttúrunni er best að hlýða henni!
自然を操るには、その声に耳を傾けることである
Przyrodzie rozkazuje się ulegając jej!
A natureza só é comandada se se lhe obedecer!
Stăpânim natura prin a ne supune ei!
прородом се командује поштујући је!
Prírode sa rozkazuje iba tak, že ju poslúchame!
Det enda sättet att styra över naturen är genom att lyda den!
ธรรมชาตินั้นควบคุมได้ด้วยการให้ความเคารพต่อธรรมชาติ
Doğaya ona itaat ederek hükmedilir!
природою можна повелівати, лише підкоряючись їй
... now on twitter
someone told me, when a man standing on the top of the money, he is higher than anyone else( still questioning...)
Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.
~ Albert Einstein
Thanks to everyone for viewing my photostream, giving comments and faves. I'm working on catching up with your photos. Flickr is great, but today I just had to do something for my body. I climbed Porezen of 1622 m today. There's still looooots of snow there, but it was sunny and warm, even the wind was kind. Unfortunately I didn't bring my camera, I found my backpack way too heavy as it was. See you soon!
Explore March 22, 2009 - Highest Position: #280
Thank You Everyone!
© All rights reserved. Please do not use my photo without my express permission.
Luigi puts out a confused & questioning look as he sits in his pen for the first time. One thing we learned quite quickly with Italian Greyhounds is that you never can trust them off leash. They see a rabbit or bird or anything that moves and they will chase it no matter what the consequences may be!!!
Why am I questioning my abilities? I feel like I'm doing nothing to achieve my dreams. Sure I'm in college but I haven't learned A SINGLE THING to help me become a better photographer or graphic designer. My world is blah. But then again, all I want to do is act. Yes, I've heard my chances are slim. But hey what if everyone gave up because their chance was slim? There would be nothing.
I love black and white. Thats all.
I'll see ya'll tomorrow.
EXPLORE FRONT PAGE #39
Bowling was so popular in the 1950s and 60s that the Immaculate Conception Church decided to get in on the bowling action by opening an alley of its own. As the popularity began to wane and bowling venues shut down, ICC kept its open despite some questioning whether it was worth the cost to maintain especially after it abandoned league play around 2010.
So most of you know, I upload something, and go dark for a stupidly long time. After receiving some flickr mails questioning my continued existence, I confirm that I am alive. UPDATE. I went on a vacation with my family for the first half of the summer. When I got back, it was hotter than Satens tanning both, and the clay on my set was to liquidly to work with. So no animation YET! I have the scene mostly coriographed, and ready to go. IN THE MEAN TIME, I have been venturing into the lovely world of resin casting, and will continue to research. I am also making a deadpool figure, and some other stuff. AS FOR ANIMATIONS I have an old one I made in seventh grade I recently discovered, and posted it. I thought I posted something about it, but didn't, so sorry. Here's a link to this school project www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUWECTh6BYg
Please give me suggestions for sculpting techniques you may use, or info on resin casting. Also, if there are any figures on my stream you are interested in, let me know! Thanks!
~MLL~
My teenage years passed by questioning what I loved most: colourful days or silent nights.
Some years I would think I loved the days more - the Sun, missed out during the night, was the brightest reason to feel happy in the morning.
So many years passed until I could realize- I am most myself at nights which are although sad or lonely most resemble my inner self.
Another year, and another round of questioning from Judge Raymond Boucher, the man who is leading the French investigation into my husband’s death! BTW, you see me standing outside the Criminal Justice Headquarters in Nice, wearing the red cocktail gown and matching fascinater I chose for my latest interrogation!
Judge Boucher: You can tell us everything now, Lady Rebecca. Joe the Juice has talked to the authorities in Luxembourg.
Lady Rebecca: Joe the who?
Judge Boucher: Joe the Juice. He has revealed the whole plot.
Lady Rebecca: What plot could this be?
Judge Boucher: Lady Rebecca, it would be better if you did not try to play these games with us. We know everything. Through Joe the Juice we have a direct connection from you, via Madame Phlomis Balomis, Colonel Barrington and the Duke of Burgundy. all the way to Pierre Collager himself! We can now see the whole pattern of the conspiracy.
Lady Rebecca: I know nothing about anyone named Joe the Juice. I think that any further questions about him should be referred to my legal council – Mr Leakey Cavendish, QC.
***
At any rate, my husband’s grand funeral went off without a hitch, and I have since left Monte Carlo for a short visit back to England - to celebrate the New Year down at Lyndon Towers, and to check on how things are going at The Salon. More details of some of the wicked fun and games we had over the holidays in my next posting!!!!
Toodle Pip!
Love and Kisses to All My Friends and Fans!
xxxxx
Lady Rebecca Georgina Arabella Lyndon
Duchesse de la Baleine D’Or
There is no questioning who is in charge when this eagle patrols the skies above the Mississippi. There are literally thousands of birds on the river, but only one rules them all. www.troymarcyphotography.com
Betty & Veronica (2018-) # 3
“Senior Year, Pt. 3: Winter”: Betty’s severely questioning her college options while Veronica’s father meddles with her college plans once more—she’s upset, but something happens that makes it even harder for her to tell him how she feels.
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers # 36
The newly-assembled Power Rangers put everything on the line to win the battle but now a war has begun...and it's one they never anticipated! But if Grace thought her new team had time, she's wrong—the universe itself is collapsing!
True Believers: Captain Marvel - The New Ms. Marvel (2019) # 1
Published: February 27, 2019
Reprinting Ms. Marvel (1977) # 20!
Superior Spider-Man (2018-) # 3
Outpowered and outclassed by Terrax, Otto Octavius somehow turns himself into the COSMICALLY POWERED SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN! This may not be enough to defeat Terrax, but even if it is, is the world ready for an Otto Octavius with this level of power?!
I know I do this questioning a lot and it comes across as self doubt and all that jazz it might even seem I am looking so comments. In truth I like to know if what you see is what I see or at feel. Now I know we don't always look good and sometimes we pass effortlessly and others we come across as sea monsters.
Last night I went out with a lovely group of friends (sorry no photos) Kay, Jenn, Amanda and my wife. We all had differing looks and as my wife is a retro girl I decided not to compete and sport a different style to hers.
I felt the complete woman and was totally happy with my look even if it was a little typical tranny lol, while sat eating I was thinking what the other customers were seeing, then I wondered what you would think if you happened to be sitting on a table next mine?
This is getting a little lost in translation. Basically if you saw me sitting opposite you as I am above what would your thoughts be. Be honest I will only block you if I don't like the reply lol. I won't really xxxx
In response to those questioning if I was out on the water Dec 23, 2016, this is my answer.
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118/100 Paddles, 2016
Thank you to all who have been following this tale, and the pictures...
For this is the final end of both.
Just a reminder
The pictures that accompany this Tale tell a story of their own, and not one that matches the Tale being told in words.
A Wicked Turn
Acte 29
Lilly Unmasked
She stood hovering over him, smiling happily.
She intentionally was close enough that her brooch, and breasts, were teasingly hitting his nose!
“I had Supposed my friend, that I had given you ample enough lead!
He looked up at her questioningly
She reached down and played with her bright broach, hanging from her gown, positioned between her (very) perked breasts!
“Enough opportunity that you would have had this also from me! Imagine my surprise to still feel it prickling in its place untouched !!”
She held it glittering in front of his eyes...
She could see, that and despite his predicament, he wanted it!
Smirking she reached behind the brooch and unhooked it.
Then she leaned over, and placing her hands around his head, gently moved it forwards so that his mouth was touching the brooch.
She then moved up, making his mouth pull up the brooch till it came away from her gown and landed in his lap.
She twittered as she took in in hand, and slipped it down inside his pants, brushing along a now very wilted ‘John Thomas’
“There!”
She said, rising…
“That jobs done! I’ll retrieve it later Mr. Burglar!”
She went to the side of the room, as his eyes followed, and pulling out his full leather pouch from underneath the bed, picked it up and carried it triumphantly to the table.
He swore, chastising himself under his breath…
He had been just that close to reclaiming Mariette’s Jewels! But he still harboured hopes of a second chance reclaiming them before the light of daybreak!!
“So quite nice of you to bring me poor Mariette ’s jewels, my sweet burglar.”
She ran her fingers under his chin, tickling with her long fingernails, coloured to match her gown!
She purred evilly…
“How did you leave her then?
Hopefully, you stripped her of everything, then left her tied up and struggling!”
Despite himself, his ‘John Thomas’ began to prick up at this, something Lilly noticed!
“Good, Mariette deserved for that to happen!”
Lilly shivered with delight while saying this as she opening the pouch and began to rummage through it!
She selected the silvery case that had been collected from the master bedroom from inside the leather pouch!
Opening the case in front of his nose, he saw the shimmering pile of white diamonds and red rubies twinkling from inside.
She sat the silver case down on the table and reaching again inside his leather pouch, retrieved the antique jewelled mirror.
Saying as she admired herself in its reflection.
“I’ve always admired this mirror; glad you were able to steal it away from poor Mariette!”
Using the mirror, she put in the dangling earrings of the ruby stoned set, admiring their reflection in the mirror as she did so, with a sidelong glance to make sure her prisoner was watching!
He most decidedly was!
His drooling eyes were as wide as a deer caught in headlights!
Next, she pulled out the long glittering ruby necklace and faced him, the jewels dangling daringly in her hand…
She held up the necklace of rubies…
“You like these sir? I could tell!
she said enticingly waving the jewelled piece in front of his masked face, before elegantly fastening it around her throat, where they cascaded down in a most beckoningly manner.
She admired their shimmering reflection in the ornate silver jewelled hand mirror, smirking to herself!
Yes, he thought drooling over the enticing sight, he did like them, quite a bit actually, and would take as much great pleasure in recovering them from her as he had taken them from hapless Mariette!
He squirmed in his seat at the thought, causing Lilly to giggle!
She murmured…
“Poor Mariette!” Must ‘ave been devastated when she finally realized you weren’t that prat Gaston, and discovering the ending of her fine little game altered against her!
So, she knew he thought, and pondered what was in store for him now?!
Still prattling on about poor Mariette, Lilly continued to pull out the other ruby-encrusted pieces of the matching set.
Saucily dangling each piece tauntingly in front of his masked eyes…
Before slowly, carefully adorning her svelte brown satin clad figure with the fiery red glamorous little buggers!
When she had finished, Lilly stood before him and gave him her full attention.
He in return stared at her, keeping his expression poker-faced and unreadable
“I’m so sorry Mr. Burglar, did you still want these?”
She leaned over him, teasingly playing with jewels so that they flickered in the candles basking soft light.
He most certainly did want them, and his cuffed hands moved, his fingers flexing, itching to reclaim them from that deliciously lovely soft figure!
His mind’s eye quickly played out how he would have his revenge upon that pretty figure!
If only he could get his hands free, and he did so try very hard to do so at that moment!
Sensing his frustration, and maybe realizing what tiger she had by the tail, she smiled teasingly….
And backed away, taking her quite fetching figure and frenziedly sparkling jewels vexingly out of reach...
She went on….
“But they now belong to Lilly don’t they, my sweet burglar ?… However, there is something I can give you my dear…”
Then, looking once again ever like the cat eyeing the canary in his cage, Lilly unzipped her satin gown and let it slip down liquidly down from her figure.
She was now standing before him naked, her figure clad only in her jewels!
She reached over and pulled up and lifted off the black burglar’s mask, smiled deviously into his eyes, causing him to feel more than a slight prickling discomfort from down below as his ‘john Thomas’ rose to new eclectic heights!
She spoke with a whimsically foxy look spreading along her face as she pulled her long red hair up.
“So, Mr burglar? Did you like me better as a blonde?”
He sagely shook his head no, smiling into his wife Lilly’s hazel eyes!
she whispered deliciously to her husband, tickling him under the chin with ringed fingers, ….
“Game, Set and Match.. my darling role-playing thief!”
(Mariette/Lilly ) looked with sweet innocence down upon Michael, her husband (Mari in French), costumed as the cat burglar whom she had been calling Gaston/Mr. Burglar all evening!
He found the look upon her sly smiling face with her foxy grin, to be quite most enchanting… as it was, it always was!
Then Michael, with an even wider grin, spoke aloud for only the second time thus far this evening…
“The note luv, how did you know I was going to leave you there like that, and …where did you ever come up with the silly name of Gaston for me?”
“You’re a man my love, and like most, an easy predator to read!”
She tickled under his chin, then continued
“The names Gaston and Mariette? Got them all from the same place; from that old movie, we saw some time ago, where the thief claimed to be reformed in order to steal their jewel’s! Did you forget dearest? But then, you may have had other things on your mind tonight my darling!”
Lilly twittered as she rubbed a hand alongside his face, rings and bracelet delightfully shooting out blazing sparks.
He started to rise but was held firm by the handcuffs, damn he though, forgot about them, this was her part of the role play now, toying with the captured burglar!
Regaining his composure, he smiled and retorted
“Must have forgotten luv?
She squealed happily…
“So, you don’t remember the movie!”
“So you thought from the note, that Lilly was just going to be a second jewelled victim in the game needed to be robbed by the daring burglar!?
Lilly Scolded,
“No no no my sweet”…
“Lilly in the movie was a thief also, just like Gaston! Should have paid more attention to the movie Luv, and less to what your wife was wearing tonight naughty lad!”
And she tickled him underneath the chin in playful rebuff, Before going on...
“History always repeats itself my luv, and you should have been on the lookout for a trap from Lilly!”
Still trying unsuccessfully to recall the flick, he asked…
“So Gaston was taken in by Lilly in the also movie then?”
Lilly looked down upon her husband with a sly grin…
“He certainly was! And like tonight the thief Gaston” was successfully lured to his doom! “
As his wife explained, Her eyes had taken on a lustful glaze, and she bent down to him, her necklace swinging as provocatively as the expression on her face!
Wholeheartedly she kissed her husband as he tried unsuccessfully to raise his arms to her.
Giggling, she broke off and stood back, cheekily studying the bound “burglar” before her with a quite becoming self-satisfied smirk upon her charming face!
Then, again playing with the necklace, she smugly whispered down to him…
“But unlike poor Mariette, this necklace is safe from your clutches, as are the rest of my jewels!”
Shaking his head clear, trying to focus on how the game was turning against him, wondering how he could buy time to still get his hands on his wife’s jewels and come out, ahem! on top…
Then Michael tried to buy time by asking …?
“How did you slip out of here, get the pouch, and sneak back inside without me catching you then luv? Was that part of the movie also?”
He thought to himself that he needed to find the name of the movie to watch it again, and check his wife’s story about what had transpired….
He looked up at his wife’s smug face as she appeared to be about to answer his question…
“My secret!” she purred scrunching down…
“When your Lilly does not want to be caught, she won’t be... Words to the wise ‘Mr burglar’ …..and now that I have caught you my pet…..The game is up, and the last move will be mine!”
“La reine checmates son roi “
she whispered, in French, into his ear!
Bringing her jewels up close, whence they teasingly started sparkling radiantly in his eyes, like cascading rainbows of fiery colours , causing him to squint…
a zipper is heard being slowly pulled down
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Please allow me the break the fourth wall here...
Swiftly, if not modestly, the tales’ scene now cuts to the outside of the moonlit glen with the stone cottage in view. The candle is still flickering in the window… The difference is that now a pair of shadows can be seen moving about indecipherably inside the window’s view of the room…
If one moves closer, stealthy like a thief in the night, and listens in, the silence is quietly broken inside by a male voice asking,
But what was the name of the Movi….?
The last word is cut off abruptly with a heartfelt grunt and what may be described as a suckling noise can be heard!
Soon followed by male moans intertwined by the sounds of a girl’s deliciously mischievous giggling, a bit muffled like she may have something large in her mouth!
And, giving the couple inside their bit of privacy…
The story fades out here and ends!
Despite the lifelong questioning, angst and confusion over my motivations I have about my transvestism I do know one thing, I truly love doing it! Increasingly, I find myself withdrawing and though I was never actually socialising as a transvestite, I feel in the current climate I should be more cautious and ensure I keep my activities very private and avoid any form of risk that may cause me to be outed.
I’ve noticed increasing hostility in both peoples attitudes and the media awards transgender people and to my dismay, publicly views are becoming polarised on both sides of the argument. I have in the past encountered negative and hostile experiences from within the rans community to my own personal feelings on my cross-dressing which has only made me feel in order to gain the most enjoyment I should avoid contact with others.
The current political situations are feeling more militant in general and I feel things are going backwards just now. I find the whole thing unnerving and I fear if I were to be discovered as a transvestite it would hurt my family. This is a prospect I cannot bear to even imagine so I think for me keeping things as private as possible is the safest choice.
You may ask then why am I posting here on Flickr? Despite my concerns and fears I still find I need some emotional outlet for my transgendered self and so, for now, I am using Flickr. It has not always been a comfortable place for me but cannot escape my need to have some existence as a woman. My Flickr photo stream is where the female aspect of me can feel alive. I do fear being undermined but I find writing alongside my pictures is a great hep to me in not being to contained about my transvestism. It is a risk and I feel certain one day it will be my undoing as I continue to post but it as an outlet that is helping me express my thoughts and the memories of actually cross-dressing as a woman.
My cross-dressing activities are limited, very rare and undeniably precious. Most men have no desire to dress amp and try to look like women so think we are weird for doing it. I don’t really understand why I desire to do it. I have at times thought I knew but my thoughts are never consistent. I do know I love it and feel amazing so that is good, a lovely reward for me. I do fear though what others would say if they found out. I have heard some very anti-transgender conversations recently in the workplace, many between women. It made me aware that attitudes with some people are not positive towards trans people. A few years ago I was rather hopeful as acceptance seemed to be improving in a positive direction. Political changes in the last few years seem to have set things back and made me wary.
I was considering my use of Flickr as I only visit fleetingly. I literally dip in and out of it about once a week. The act of posting a picture or video is the thing I need to do so the female she of me feels alone in some way. After that, I bide my time for the next, what I feel to be reckless posting as past history has proven to me that expressing one’s feelings can lead to derision.
As I mentioned though, I need an outlet so I go ahead and post. I’ll admit I dare not even look at anything I post once it is on Flickr. It is the actually act of posting that is fulfilling a need. If anyone were to comment on my postings I’m not sure I have the nerve to read them. I have never been confident about my cross-dressing abilities, I never have been and I’m unlikely to be in the future, it’s simply how I always feel about it. I actually feel less confident of my efforts as I get older. I think it's an ability you either have or you haven't. I've never believed I ever had the skills to look female but I definitely have the aspiration! I understand now that my expression of my female side is an activity that is always going to be one I do alone. I’m not depressed by that, so don’t think I seek sympathy as I do not. I actually feel safe with that scenario and more at ease as I am minimising the risks I fear that could undo me.
I accept others will hold different views to my own and have different experiences relating to their cross-dressing ll I am seeking is a scenario that I can feel comfortably and safe with and avoid any potential negative experiences. i do adore easing up as a woman and will admit to having worked on my physicality to favour looking more male than male. I don’t mean I have undergone any medical treatments or surgery, it’s more simple than that. I have worked keeping my weight down to have a better feminine looking figure and I have maintained shaped and groomed eyebrows for many years now as well as shaving my legs, chest and arms regularly. I also try to avoid developing a muscular look as I want my legs and arms to look more feminine than masculine.
All these little efforts are things that are worthwhile when I get an opportunity to apply make-up and wear a dress and high heel shoes and enter a more feminine world in my head. This picture is a still frame from a recent video (February 2019) which I felt captured my sheer joy at appearing as my female self, I was full of euphoria that night. Such moments are o powerful and the memory burns within me fora very long time.
November 07, 2015
"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing." - Albert Einstein
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A rather quiet day around the house; started out by meeting Nard and Jo for breakfast, then came home and sort of puttered around the house until Dawn sent me a message asking for use of my washing machine.
It seems I have the largest washing machine in the neighbourhood, so this isn't a strange request, especially when it comes time to wash duvets and king sized blankets.
I wasn't feeling very creative or motivated to go for a walk today, so just a portrait of Dawn's daughter examining the bird seed from one of my bird feeders while her Mom was in my house dealing with her laundry needs.
Not my best photo of her, but it does highlight her continuous curiosity.
Hope everyone has had a good day.
Click "L" for a larger view.
Many people are questioning the unfettered power of the U.S. Supreme Court after some very controversial and disappointing recent decisions. I came across this sentiment painted onto a local sidewalk on my morning walk today.
The same ultra-conservative Supreme Court has decided that state laws that preclude open-carry of guns are unconstitutional and at the same time, a woman has no constitutionally documented right over what happens in her womb. So we are forced to bear children that we don't want, or can't afford to bring up, just to have them killed in school shootings.... :(
My 365-2022: #188 of 365
This is one from an ongoing series trying to catch the ferry going along the horizon in long exposure. I'm only down in Swanage once every couple of months and with weather, tides and daylight hours all varying, it's taking a while to catch it. The timetable seems to have changed, so I missed it again.
Out at night, with a high tide and thick rain thrashing against the rocks, I shot this one anyway, and kept it for the impression it gives of the storm - that purple sky is SOOC. By the time I'd finished (this is a twenty minute exposure!), the tide had trapped me on the point and I had to climb up the crumbling defense tower to escape.
The more I take pictures, the more I realise bad weather outclasses good every time. I'm lucky now to have a supposedly weatherproof camera, but I also protect it with a thick bubble wrap sheet clipped on with a flexible ruler!
Have a wonderful week everyone!