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The Dead Parrot Sketch
Monty Python
The Pet Shoppe
A customer enters a pet shop.
Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
C: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
C: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
O: We're closin' for lunch.
C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
O: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
C: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
C: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
O: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
C: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!
(shouting at the cage)
'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show...(owner hits the cage)
O: There, he moved!
C: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
O: I never!!
C: Yes, you did!
O: I never, never did anything...
C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!!
Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
C: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
O: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
C: STUNNED?!?
O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
O: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
C: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
O: The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
O: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
C: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
O: No no! 'E's pining!
C: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!
'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!
'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig!
'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!
THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
(pause)
O: Well, I'd better replace it, then.
(he takes a quick peek behind the counter)
O: Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of parrots.
C: I see. I see, I get the picture.
O: I got a slug.
(pause)
C: (sweet as sugar) Pray, does it talk?
O: Nnnnot really.
C: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
Thanks for viewing and favein.
One of my all time favourite photo models, a young Royal Python. Such a beautiful creature. Taken on a photo day with CaptiveLight in Bournemouth.
Morelia spilota mcdowelli
Gold Coast, South East Queensland.
outfit: BETRAYAL.Selina Bodysuit PYTHON maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Saturn/66/115/3000
Boot : BETRAYAL. Selina Tower Boot BROWN maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Saturn/66/115/3000
nail : NAILPLUG :: Blk Butterfly Set W/ Jewels http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Vegas%20Isle/137/161/4013
necklase : Nov-Samiyah Necklace (G) http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Vistas%20Downtown/110/157/29
earrings : Nov-Jodeci Diamond Hoops II (G) http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Vistas%20Downtown/110/157/29
hair : $$$PL/G//: Trisha Pony http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Kangean%20Star/160/144/26
Indian Python
This Python was about 9 feet in length and it is still not fully grown.
Hingolgadh, Gujarat, India
02/01/2016
Canon EOS 7D + 55-250mm
Watching this python resting below the surface of his pond; he gradually moved toward the surface and just poked his snout and eye above the surface... so fascinating and yet thankful there is a viewing glass in between us.
die gelbe Schlange ist auch ein dunkler Tigerpython, jedoch ein Albino. Da ihm die Tarnfarbe fehlt, haben sie in der Natur keine Überlebungschance.
Liasis olivaceous
The largest snake I've seen in the Northern Territory so far - a big old Olive python that I'd guess was around 2.6m long.
The Green Tree Pythons (Morelia viridis) are very comfortable on tree branches. They loop into a coil over a branch to form a saddle position. Then place their head in the middle for a bird's eye view of any rats passing below.
Apparently, due to this snake's popularity with herpetoculturist, their range has been extended from New Guinea, islands in Indonesia and Cape York Peninsula in Australia. Green Tree Pythons can now be found in the wild in Florida, U.S.A.
Python bivittatus
A healthy adult male that was found and captured crossing a road late at night in south Florida. Though most people associate pythons with Everglades National Park, this species continues to expand its range to the north and west in south Florida. This big male was found right on the periphery of the suburbs while driving home from field work.
A last picture from Moody Garden's rainforest pyramid: a green tree python (Morelia viridis). I initially thought it was an emerald tree boa (Corallus caninus), but thanks to Darren and Alexis (see comments), I hope we have now identified the right species though.
Python molurus is a large nonvenomous python species found in many tropic and subtropic areas of South Asia and Southeast Asia. It is known by the common names Indian python, black-tailed python and Indian rock python. The species is limited to Southern Asia. It is generally lighter colored than the Burmese python and reaches usually 3 metres
Two albino Tiger Pythons (Python molurus) "kissing"
The left one had removed its old skin just minutes before, You can see a rest on its nose (and yes, I have photos from this). These snakes become very large, up to 7m. The two here are rather large too, not easy to say, but maybe 5m.
After so many studio shots I today needed to go "for a snake" with my sons. Taken in Salzburgs "Haus der Natur" with my new macro lens.
Canon 5D with Sigma 150/2,8 Macro HSM
1/100s f/4.5 ISO1250 -4/3EV handheld
Boca Tapada, Alajuela Province, Costa Rica
Caribbean Lowlands
MYRIAPODA > DIPLOPODA > POLYDESMIDA >
Platyrhacidae > Python Millipede [Nyssodesmus python]
(aka. Large Forest-floor Millipede)
When I published my origami Scala Logo a while ago, user slinkousart asked if I could design a Python logo as well. Turns out, I could, and I even designed two such models. The one shown here is folded from a single sheet of paper and has a color change for the snakes’ eyes. The other one (pics coming up soon) is made from two sheets, so the snakes can be different colors as in the actual Python logo.
Main model page: origami.kosmulski.org/models/python-logo-i
Darwin Carpet Python (Morelia spilota variegata)
Now THIS is closer to what I was envisioning for that last Darwin Carpet Python photo.
It's certainly a lot easier when it's smaller and less (surprisingly) aggressive.
Morelia/Simalia kinghorni
A large Scrub python photographed in situ in the Wet Tropics World Heritage area, Queesland, Australia. I often encounter this species on roads at night but finding this large individual on foot was a special moment.
I'm not entirely sure of the taxonomy of this species currently, genus is either Simalia or Morelia and species has intermittently been kinghorni or amethistina. In either case this is a Far North Queensland individual, whichever taxonomy you follow.
My website - goo.gl/rEkZeo
Picture at Rockefeller Center.
I like python, but alive!
But I don't like a python around my neck, It's horrible!
Python 20/05/2023 12h04
You can never have too much photos of the first loopings I experienced in my life. Python as seen from the exit of the ride.
Python
FACTS & FIGURES
Opening date: April 12, 1981 (re-opened after renovation March 31, 2018)
Type / model: steel double-loop Corkscrew roller coaster
Manufacturer: Vekoma
Lift/launch system: chain lift
Height: 29.00 m
Drop: 22 m
Length: 750.00 m
Speed: 75 km/h
Inversions: 4
Duration: 120 seconds
Capacity: 1400 riders per hour
G-force: 0 - 3.5
Trains: 2 trains with 7 cars. Riders are arranged 2 across in 2 rows for a total of 28 riders per train.
[ Source: Wikipedia - Python (Efteling) ]
Gatilho leads the Python Patrol troops towards the G.I. Joe outpost in Aldeia dos Índios, Brazil.
For more G.I. JOE photography check out:
@specialmissionforce on Instagram
@specialmforce on Twitter
@specialmissionforce on Facebook
and of course, specialmissionforce.com!
Python Pool is located within the picturesque Millstream-Chichester Range National Park, south of Roebourne. It is a stunning spot for a swim in a cool refreshing rock pool whilst enjoying the spectacular backdrop of the imposing rugged ochre cliffs. If you are adverse to chilly water, pack a lilo or other floatation aid to keep you above the cooler waters below.
Take a drive through the park to enjoy the pristine scenery including vast rolling hills, tranquil gorges, magnificent escarpments and winding tree-lined watercourses. There is prolific bird life in the area, hear their calls amidst the otherwise eerie silence.
Pack a picnic and enjoy a day out at the park or camp overnight in one of the camping grounds. If you are feeling fit and agile, enjoy a six hour trek along the Chichester Range Camel Heritage Trail.
Millstream-Chichester Range National Park is a two hour drive southeast of Karratha. Check road conditions prior to visiting.
Read more: www.australias.guide/wa/attraction-tour/python-pool/
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Python Pool befindet sich im malerischen Millstream-Chichester Range National Park, südlich von Roebourne. Es ist ein atemberaubender Ort für ein Bad in einem kühlen erfrischenden Felsenpool, während Sie die spektakuläre Kulisse der imposanten zerklüfteten ockerfarbenen Klippen genießen. Wenn Sie kältewasser sind, packen Sie eine Lilo oder andere Schwimmhilfen ein, um Sie über den kühleren Gewässern unten zu halten.
Machen Sie eine Fahrt durch den Park, um die unberührte Landschaft mit weiten sanften Hügeln, ruhigen Schluchten, herrlichen Böschungen und gewundenen, von Bäumen gesäumten Wasserläufen zu genießen. Es gibt eine fruchtbare Vogelwelt in der Gegend, hören ihre Rufe inmitten der ansonsten unheimlichen Stille.
Packen Sie ein Picknick und genießen Sie einen Tag im Park oder campen Sie auf einem der Campingplätze. Wenn Sie sich fit und agil fühlen, können Sie eine sechsstündige Wanderung entlang des Chichester Range Camel Heritage Trail genießen.
Der Millstream-Chichester Range National Park liegt zwei Autostunden südöstlich von Karratha. Überprüfen Sie die Straßenverhältnisse vor dem Besuch.
Mehr lesen: www.australias.guide/wa/attraction-tour/python-pool/