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Pheras
Ceremonia oficial de la boda.
Durante toda la ceremonia el sacerdote canta mantras en sánscrito a los dioses para bendecir a la pareja.
Official wedding ceremony.
During all the ceremony the priest sings mantras in Sanskrit to the gods to bless the couple.
Ramnagar, Uttarakhand, India
Pheras
Ceremonia oficial de la boda.
Durante toda la ceremonia el sacerdote canta mantras en sánscrito a los dioses para bendecir a la pareja.
Official wedding ceremony.
During all the ceremony the priest sings mantras in Sanskrit to the gods to bless the couple.
Ramnagar, Uttarakhand, India
officially the Republic of Benin, is a country in West Africa. It borders Togo to the west, Nigeria to the east and Burkina Faso and Niger to the north; its short coastline to the south leads to the Bight of Benin.
Its size is just over 110000 km2 with a population of almost 8,500,000. Its capital is the Yoruba founded city of Porto-Novo but the seat of government is the Fon city of Cotonou.
A democratic government between 1960 and 1972 was followed by a self-proclaimed "Marxist-Leninist" dictatorship between 1972 and 1991, which was highly repressive and led to economic collapse. Multiparty elections have taken place since 1991. About a third of the population live below the international poverty line of US$1.25 per day. Main income sources are subsistence agriculture and cotton.
Name
During the colonial period and at independence, the country was known as Dahomey. It was renamed on November 30, 1975, to Benin after the body of water on which the country lies, the Bight of Benin, which had in turn been named after the Benin Empire. The country of Benin has no direct connection to Benin City in modern Nigeria, nor to the Benin bronzes.
The new name, Benin, was chosen for its neutrality. Dahomey was the name of the former Kingdom of Dahomey, which covered only the southern third of the present country and therefore did not represent the northwestern sector Atakora nor the kingdom of Borgu, which covered the northeastern third.
History
The Kingdom of Dahomey formed from a mixture of ethnic groups on the Abomey plain. Historians theorized that the insecurity caused by slave trading may have contributed to mass migrations of groups to modern day Abomey, including some Aja, a Gbe people who are believed to have founded the city. Those Aja living in Abomey mingled with the local Fon people, also a Gbe people, creating a new ethnic group known as "Dahomey".
The Gbe peoples are said to be descendents of a number of migrants from Wyo. Gangnihessou, (a member of an Aja dynasty that in the 16th century along with the Aja populace had come from Tado before settling and ruling separately in what is now Abomey, Allada, and Porto Novo), became the first ruler of the Dahomey Kingdom. Dahomey had a military culture aimed at securing and eventually expanding the borders of the small kingdom with its capital at modern day Abomey.
The Dahomey Kingdom was known for its culture and traditions. Young boys were often apprenticed to older soldiers, and taught the kingdom's military customs until they were old enough to join the navy. Dahomey was also famous for instituting an elite female soldier corps, called Ahosi or "our mothers" in the Fongbe language, and known by many Europeans as the Dahomean Amazons. This emphasis on military preparation and achievement earned Dahomey the nickname of "black Sparta" from European observers and 19th century explorers like Sir Richard Burton.
Though the leaders of Dahomey appeared initially to resist the slave trade, it flourished in the region of Dahomey for almost three hundred years (beginning in 1472 with a trade agreement with Portuguese merchants), leading to the area being named "the Slave Coast". Court protocols, which demanded that a portion of war captives from the kingdom's many battles be decapitated, decreased the number of enslaved people exported from the area. The number went from 20,000 per year at the beginning of the seventeenth century to 12000 at the beginning of the 1800s. The decline was partly due to the banning of the trans-Atlantic trade by Britain and other countries. This decline continued until 1885, when the last Portuguese slave ship departed from the coast of the present-day Benin Republic.
By the middle of the nineteenth century, Dahomey started to lose its status as the regional power. This enabled the French to take over the area in 1892. In 1899, the French included the land called Dahomey within the French West Africa colony. In 1958, France granted autonomy to the Republic of Dahomey, and full independence as of August 1, 1960. The president who led them to independence was Hubert Maga.
For the next twelve years, ethnic strife contributed to a period of turbulence. There were several coups and regime changes, with four figures dominating — Hubert Maga, Sourou Apithy, Justin Ahomadegbé and Emile Derlin Zinsou — the first three of them representing a different area and ethnicity of the country. These three agreed to form a presidential council after violence marred the 1970 elections.
On May 7, 1972, Maga turned over power to Ahomadegbe. On October 26, 1972, Lt. Col. Mathieu Kérékou overthrew the ruling triumvirate, becoming president, and stating that the country will not "burden itself by copying foreign ideology, and wants neither Capitalism, Communism, nor Socialism", then on November 30 announcing that the country was officially Marxist, under the control of the Military Council of the Revolution (CNR), which nationalized the petroleum industry and banks. On November 30, 1975, he renamed the country to People's Republic of Benin.
In 1979, the CNR was dissolved, and Kérékou arranged show elections where he was the only allowed candidate. Establishing relations with the People's Republic of China, North Korea, and Libya, he put nearly all businesses and economic activities under state control, causing foreign investment in Benin to dry up. Kérékou attempted to reorganize education, pushing his own aphorisms such as "Poverty is not a fatality", resulting in a mass exodus of teachers, along with a large number of other professionals. The regime financed itself by contracting to take nuclear waste from France.
In 1980, Kérékou converted to Islam and changed his first name to Ahmed, then changed his name back after claiming to be a born-again Christian.
In 1989, riots broke out after the regime did not have money to pay its army. The banking system collapsed. Eventually Kérékou renounced Marxism. A convention forced Kérékou to release political prisoners and arrange elections.
The name of the country was changed to the Republic of Benin on March 1, 1990, once the newly formed country's constitution was complete, after the abolition of Marxism-Leninism in the nation in 1989.
In 1991, Kérékou was defeated by Nicéphore Soglo, and became the first black African president to step down after an election. Kérékou returned to power after winning the 1996 vote. In 2001, a closely fought election resulted in Kérékou winning another term, after which his opponents claimed election irregularities.
Kérékou and former president Soglo did not run in the 2006 elections, as both were barred by the constitution's restrictions on age and total terms of candidates. Kérékou is widely praised[citation needed] for making no effort to change the constitution so that he could remain in office or run again, unlike many African leaders.
On March 5, 2006, an election was held that was considered free and fair. It resulted in a runoff between Yayi Boni and Adrien Houngbédji. The runoff election was held on March 19, and was won by Boni, who assumed office on April 6. The success of the fair multi-party elections in Benin won praise internationally. Benin is considered by a few to be a model democracy in Africa, but with such a short track record that only time will tell.
Geography
Benin, a narrow, north-south strip of land in west Africa, lies between the Equator and the Tropic of Cancer. Benin's latitude ranges from 6°30′N to 12°30′N and its longitude from 1°E to 3°40′E. Benin is bounded by Togo to the west, Burkina Faso and Niger to the north, Nigeria to the east, and the Bight of Benin to the south.
With an area of 112622 km2, Benin extends from the Niger River in the north to the Atlantic Ocean in the south, a distance of 650 km (400 mi). Although the coastline measures 121 km (75 mi) the country measures about 325 km (200 mi) at its widest point.
It is one of the smaller countries in West Africa: eight times smaller than Nigeria, its neighbor to the east. It is, however, twice as large as Togo, its neighbor to the west. A relief map of Benin shows that it has little variation in elevation (average elevation 200 m).
The country can be divided into four areas from the south to the north. The low-lying, sandy, coastal plain (highest elevation 10 m) is, at most, 10 km wide. It is marshy and dotted with lakes and lagoons communicating with the ocean. Behind the coast lies the Guinean forest-savanna mosaic covered plateaus of southern Benin (altitude between 20 m and 200 m) are split by valleys running north to south along the Couffo, Zou, and Oueme Rivers.
Then an area of flat lands dotted with rocky hills whose altitude seldom reaches 400 m extends around Nikki and Save. Finally, a range of mountains extends along the northwest border and into Togo; this is the Atacora, with the highest point, Mont Sokbaro, at 658 m.
Benin has fields of lying fallow, mangroves, and remnants of large sacred forests. In the rest of the country, the savanna is covered with thorny scrubs and dotted with huge baobab trees. Some forests line the banks of rivers. In the north and the northwest of Benin the Reserve du W du Niger and Pendjari National Park attract tourists eager to see elephants, lions, antelopes, hippos, and monkeys.
Benin's climate is hot and humid. Annual rainfall in the coastal area averages 36 cm (14 in)—not particularly high for coastal West Africa. Benin has two rainy and two dry seasons per year. The principal rainy season is from April to late July, with a shorter less intense rainy period from late September to November. The main dry season is from December to April, with a short cooler dry season from late July to early September. Temperatures and humidity are high along the tropical coast. In Cotonou, the average maximum temperature is 31 °C (89 °F); the minimum is 24 °C (75 °F).
Variations in temperature increase when moving north through a savanna and plateau toward the Sahel. A dry wind from the Sahara called the Harmattan blows from December to March. Grass dries up, the vegetation turns reddish brown, and a veil of fine dust hangs over the country, causing the skies to be overcast. It also is the season when farmers burn brush in the fields.
Other Infos
Nome Oficial: Republique du Bénin
Independencia:
August 1, 1960
Superficie
112.622km2
Habitantes: 8.000.000
Capital: Porto-Novo
Idioma e Dialectos:
Aguna [aug] 3,470 (1992 census). Zou Province, Djidja Subprefecture, around village of Agouna. Alternate names: Awuna, Agunaco. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Left Bank, Gbe
Aja [ajg] 588,100 in Benin (2002 SIL). Population total all countries: 740,400. Southwestern Benin on the Mono River. Primarily in the Couffo Province (formerly northern half of Mono Province), subprefectures of Aplahoué, Djakotomè, Dogbo, Klouékanmè, Lalo, and Tovinklin; Mono Province (formerly southern part of Mono province) subprefectures of Athiémè, Comè, and Houéyogbé. There are Aja people living in villages mixed with other language groups in the Zou Province, Djidja and Agbangnizoun subprefectures. Aja speakers can be found in Cotonou and many of the towns throughout southern Benin. Also spoken in Togo. Alternate names: Adja, Ajagbe, Hwè. Dialects: Dogbo, Hwe (Ehoue), Tado (Stado, Sado, Tadou), Sikpi, Tala. The Hwe, Sikpi, Tado, and Tala varieties are linguistically closer together with Dogbo being linguistically more distinct. Differences are minor. Lexical similarity 92% with Hwe-Sikpi, 89% with Hwe-Dogbo, Hwe-Tado, and Hwe-Tala. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Left Bank, Gbe, Aja
Anii [blo] 33,600 in Benin (1992 census, village count). Population total all countries: 45,900. Both sides of the Togo-Benin border. In Benin, the southern part of the Aracora Province, Bassila Subprefecture. Also spoken in Togo. Alternate names: Gisida, Basila, Bassila, Baseca, Winji-Winji, Ouinji-Ouinji. Dialects: Gikolodjya, Gilempla, Giseda, Akpe, Balanka. Close to Akpe of Togo. Lexical similarity 92% between Bassila and Kouloumi, 89% between Bassila and Bodi and 74% between Bassila and Balanka. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Nyo, Potou-Tano, Basila-Adele
Anufo [cko] 13,800 in Benin (2002 SIL). A few villages in the Atakora Province, Cobly and Boukombe subprefectures. Alternate names: Chokosi, Chakosi, Chokossi, Tchokossi. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Nyo, Potou-Tano, Tano, Central, Bia, Northern
Baatonum [bba] 460,000 in Benin (1995 R. Jones). Population total all countries: 560,000. Central, north, Borgou Province. Also spoken in Nigeria. Alternate names: Baatonu, Baatombu, Baruba, Bargu, Burgu, Berba, Barba, Bogung, Bargawa, Barganchi, Bariba. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, North, Gur, Bariba
Biali [beh] 64,500 in Benin (1991). Population total all countries: 66,000. Atakora Province, Materi Subprefecture. There is also a sizable population in the Ouessi Subprefecture in the Borgou Province. Also spoken in Burkina Faso. Alternate names: Bieri, Bjeri, Bjerb, Berba. Dialects: Dassari, Gouande, Materi, Pingou, Tihoun, Tangeta, Porga. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, North, Gur, Central, Northern, Oti-Volta, Eastern
Boko [bqc] 70,000 in Benin (1995 R. Jones). Population total all countries: 110,000. Borgu Province. Also spoken in Nigeria. Alternate names: Bokonya, Bokko, Boo, Busa-Boko. Dialects: Closely related languages: Busa-Bisã (Nigeria), Bokobaru (Nigeria), Shanga (Nigeria). Lexical similarity 90% with Busa-Bisã, Bokobaru, Shanga, 86% with Bokobaru, 52% with Kyenga, 51% with Bissa in Burkina Faso. Classification: Niger-Congo, Mande, Eastern, Eastern, Busa
Dendi [ddn] 30,000 in Benin (1995 Jones). Population total all countries: 32,050. Atakora and Borgou provinces, along the Niger River, from the Medru River to the Nigeria border, and down to Kandi. Many at Djogou. Most towns in northern Benin. Also spoken in Nigeria. Alternate names: Dandawa. Dialects: Closely related language to Zarma and Songai. They form a dialect cluster. Classification: Nilo-Saharan, Songhai, Southern
Ditammari [tbz] 20,000 in Benin (1991 UBS). Population total all countries: 47,500. Atakora Province, Boukombe and Natitingou subprefectures. Many now live along the Djougou-Parakou road. Also spoken in Togo. Alternate names: Ditamari, Tamari, "Somba". Dialects: Eastern Ditammari, Western Ditammari (Tamberma). Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, North, Gur, Central, Northern, Oti-Volta, Eastern
Ede Cabe [cbj] 69,000 (2002 SIL). Borgou Province, Tchaourou Subprefecture; Zou Province, Savè and Ouèssè subprefectures. Alternate names: Caabe, Cabe. Dialects: A member of the Ede language cluster. Lexical similarity 76% with Yoruba (Porto-Novo). Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Benue-Congo, Defoid, Yoruboid, Edekiri
Ede Ica [ica] 63,000 (2002 SIL). Zou Province, Bante subprefecture. Alternate names: Ica. Dialects: Ica, Ilodji (Ife). A member of the Ede language cluster. Lexical similarity 83% with Yoruba of Porto-Novo. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Benue-Congo, Defoid, Yoruboid, Edekiri
Ede Idaca [idd] 100,000 (2002 SIL). Collines Province (northern half of former Zou Province), Dassa-Zoume and Glazoué subprefectures. Alternate names: Idaca, Idaaca, Idaasa, Idáìtsà. Dialects: One of 8 languages that make up the Ede language cluster (Yorboid) that spreads over southwestern Nigeria, southern and central Benin, and into southern and central Togo. The cluster also includes Ede Cabe, Ede Ica, Ife, Ede Ije, Ede Nago, Kura Ede Nago, Manigri-Kambole Ede Nago. The various people groups seek to maintain their individual identities yet recognize the wider 'Yoruba' community. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Benue-Congo, Defoid, Yoruboid, Edekiri
Ede Ije [ijj] 50,000 (2000 SIL). Plateau Province (northern part of former Oueme Province), subprefectures of Pobe and Ketou. Zou Province, Ouihni Subprefecture. In general, the rural districts between the towns of Ketou and Pobe, extending westward to the Oueme River. There is also a group of Ije villages in the Zou Province, Zogbodome Subprefecture, south of the town of Zogbodome. Alternate names: Holi, Ije. Dialects: A member of the Ede language cluster. 99% comprehension of Yoruba, narrative text. There is a very high comprehension of Yoruba due to the linguistic and cultural closeness. Lexical similarity 85% with Yoruba of Porto-Novo, 91% with Ede Nago. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Benue-Congo, Defoid, Yoruboid, Edekiri
Ede Nago [nqg] 200,000 (2002 SIL). Southeastern Benin, Plateau Province (formerly northern half of Weme Province), Ketou, Pobe, Adja-Ouere, Ifangni, and Sakete subprefectures. Alternate names: Nago, Nagots, Nagot. Dialects: A member of the Ede language cluster. Lexical similarity 87 to 91% with Yoruba of Porto-Novo. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Benue-Congo, Defoid, Yoruboid, Edekir
Ede Nago, Kura [nqk] 25,000 (2002 SIL). Donga Province (formerly southern half of Atakora Province), Bassila Subprefecture. Aledjo Koura is main center. Alternate names: Nago. Dialects: A member of the Ede language cluster. Lexical similarity 78% with Ife of Tchetti, 76% with Manigri-Kambole Ede Nago, 68% with Yoruba of Porto-Novo, 65% with Ede Nago. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Benue-Congo, Defoid, Yoruboid, Edekiri
Ede Nago, Manigri-Kambolé [xkb] 30,000 in Benin (2002 SIL). Population total all countries: 70,000. Donga Province (formerly southern half of Atakora Province), Bassila Subprefecture south and west of town of Bassila, Bante Subprefecture south of Bassila along route RNIE3. Also spoken in Togo. Alternate names: Manigri, Ana. Dialects: A member of the Ede language cluster. Lexical similarity 87% to 91% with Ede Nago, 77% with Yoruba of Porto-Novo, 78% with Ife of Tchetti. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Benue-Congo, Defoid, Yoruboid, Edekiri
Fon [fon] 1,700,000 in Benin (2000 Hoddenbagh). Population total all countries: 1,735,500. Zou Province, Atlantic Province, southern part of the Abomey-Calavi and Ouidah subprefectures, Littoral Province (Cotonou). There are many Fon interspersed with other groups throughout southern Benin and in the towns of northern Benin. Also spoken in Togo. Alternate names: Fo, Fongbe, Fonnu, Fogbe, Dahomeen, Djedji. Dialects: Agbome, Arohun, Gbekon, Kpase. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Left Bank, Gbe, Fon
Foodo [fod] 24,500 in Benin (2002 SIL). Population total all countries: 25,500. Atakora Province, Ouake Subprefecture, Semere town. Also spoken in Ghana. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Nyo, Potou-Tano, Tano, Guang, North Guang
French [fra] 16,700 in Benin (1993 Johnstone). Classification: Indo-European, Italic, Romance, Italo-Western, Western, Gallo-Iberian, Gallo-Romance, Gallo-Rhaetian, Oïl, French
Fulfulde, Borgu [fue] 280,000 in Benin (2002 SIL). Population total all countries: 328,200. Atakora and Borgou provinces, villages, and encampments. Bakuure is spoken in the Borgou Region north of N'Dali. Korakuure is spoken in the central and south Borgou Region around Parakou. Djougoure is spoken in northern Benin in the Atacora Region, from Djougou north to the Burkina border, and may extend west into northern Togo. Tchabankeere is spoken in the Zou Region. Also spoken in Nigeria, Togo. Alternate names: Peulh, Peul, Fulbe-Borgu, Benin-Togo Fulfulde. Dialects: Bakuure, Korakuure, Djougoure (Juguure), Tchabankeere (Caabankeere). Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Atlantic, Northern, Senegambian, Fulani-Wolof, Fula, West Central
Fulfulde, Gorgal [fuh] 30,000 in Benin. Northern most part of Borgou provinces, villages and encampments. Alternate names: Peulh, Peul, Fulfulde, Fulfulde Western Niger. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Atlantic, Northern, Senegambian, Fulani-Wolof, Fula, East Central
Gbe, Ayizo [ayb] 328,000 (2000 SIL). Mono and Atlantique provinces. Alternate names: Ayizo, Ayzo, Ayizo-Gbe. Dialects: Kadagbe (Kada-Gbe), Ayizo-Seto, Ayizo-Tori, Ayizo-Kobe. Close to Fon. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Left Bank, Gbe, Aja
Gbe, Ci [cib] 25,000 (2002 SIL). Mono Province, Lalo Subprefecture. Alternate names: Ci, Cigbe, Tchi, Ayizo-Ci. Dialects: A member of the Gbe language cluster. Ci is very close linguistically to Fon and is considered to be the same by Ci speakers. Lexical similarity 80% with Fon, 77% with Ayizo, 59% with Aja. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Left Bank, Gbe
Gbe, Defi [gbh] 13,500 (2002 SIL). Southeastern corner of Benin, Oueme Province, Seme-Kpodji Subprefecture between the Oueme River to north, Cotonou-Porto-Novo railroad to west, Gulf of Guinea to south, and into Nigeria in the east. Dialects: A member of the Gbe language cluster. Defi is close linguistically to Gun. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Left Bank, Gbe, Aj
Gbe, Eastern Xwla [gbx] 80,000 (2002 SIL). Southeastern Benin along coast, Oueme Province, Seme-Kpodji Subprefecture. Alternate names: Phla, Xwla, Offra, Ophra, Houla, Kpla, Pla, Popo. Dialects: A member of the Gbe language cluster. Lexical similarity 90% with Gun, 82% with Fon, 68% with Gen, 68% with Aja. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Left Bank, Gbe
Gbe, Gbesi [gbs] 65,000 (2002 SIL). In the Atlantic Province, several individual and mixed villages, Kpomasse, Alada, and Tori-Bossito subprefectures and in the Mono Province, Bopa Subprefecture along Lake Aheme. Dialects: Gbokpa. A member of the Gbe language cluster. Lexical similarity 91% with Kotafon, 85% with Fon, 73% with Aja, 70% with Gen. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Left Bank, Gb
Gbe, Kotafon [kqk] 100,000 (2002 SIL). Mono Province, the main area is the subprefectures of Lokassa and Athieme. There are some villages in the Bopa Subprefecture north and south of Bopa along Lake Aheme. There are also a few Kotafon communities in the Grand Popo Subprefecture, north of Grand-Popo. Alternate names: Ko, Kogbe. Dialects: A member of the Gbe language cluster. Lexical similarity 82% with Gbe Ayizo, 81% with Fon, 69% with Gen, 65% with Aja. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Left Bank, Gbe
Gbe, Maxi [mxl] 66,000 in Benin (1993 Johnstone). Population total all countries: 91,300. Collines Province (formerly northern half of Zou Province), Dassa-Zoume, Savalou, Bante, Glazoue, and Ouessi subprefectures. Also spoken in Togo. Alternate names: Maxi, Maxi-Gbe, Mahi. Dialects: A member of the Gbe language cluster. Lexical similarity 80% with Fon, 68% with Ayizo, 51% with Aja. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Left Bank, Gbe, Fon
Gbe, Saxwe [sxw] 6,272 (2000 WCD). Mono Province. Alternate names: Saxwe, Saxwe-Gbe. Dialects: Saxwe, Daxe, Se. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Left Bank, Gbe
Gbe, Tofin [tfi] 90,000 (2002 SIL). Atlantique Province, So-Ava Subprefecture. Alternate names: Tofin, Tofingbe, Tofi. Dialects: A member of the Gbe language cluster. Lexical similarity 88% with Gun, 87% with Fon, 82% with Eastern Xwla, 75% with Ayizo, 66% with Gen. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Left Bank, Gbe, Aja
Gbe, Waci [wci] 110,000 in Benin (1993 Johnstone). Mono Province. Alternate names: Watyu, Waci, Ouatchi, Waci-Gbe. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Left Bank, Gbe
Gbe, Weme [wem] 60,000 (1991 L. Vanderaa). Weme and Atlantic provinces. Alternate names: Weme, Weme-Gbe. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Left Bank, Gbe, Aja
Gbe, Western Xwla [xwl] 50,000 in Benin (2002 SIL). Population total all countries: 71,000. Southern Benin along the western coast in the Mono Province, Grand-Popo Subprefecture, Atlantique Province, Ouidali Subprefecture, and Littoral Province (Cotonou). Also spoken in Togo. Alternate names: Phla, Xwla, Xwla-Gbe. Dialects: A member of the Gbe language cluster. Lexical similarity 86% with Gun, 84% with Fon, 73% with Gen, 68% with Aja, 90% with Xwela, 88% with Saxwe. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Left Bank, Gbe
Gbe, Xwela [xwe] 65,000 (2002 SIL). Mono Province, Come Subprefecture near Lake Aheme, southernmost part of Bopa Subprefecture; Atlantic Province, Kpomasse and Ouidah subprefectures. Alternate names: Phera, Xwela, Xwela-Gba, Houeda, Peda. Dialects: A member of the Gbe language cluster. Lexical similarity 90% with Western Xwla, 85% with Fon, 71% with Gen, 82% with Saxwe, 68% with Aja. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Left Bank, Gbe
Gen [gej] 158,000 in Benin (2001 Johnstone and Mandryk). Mono and Atlantique provinces. Alternate names: Ge, Gen-Gbe, Mina-Gen, Mina, Guin, Gegbe, Popo. Dialects: Anexo, Agoi, Gen, Gliji. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Left Bank, Gbe, Mina
Gourmanchéma [gux] 62,000 in Benin (2001 Johnstone and Mandryk). Northern Benin, Atakora Province, primarly Tanguieta and Kerou subprefectures. There are some individual villages in the Materi and Cobly subprefectures; Borgou Province, Banikoara and Karimama subprefectures. Alternate names: Gourmantche, Gurma, Goulmancema, Gulimancema, Migulimancema. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, North, Gur, Central, Northern, Oti-Volta, Gurma
Gun [guw] 243,000 in Benin (2001 Johnstone and Mandryk). Population total all countries: 501,804. Southeast Benin, Weme Province, Akpro-Misserete, Avrankou, Adjara, and Porto-Novo subprefectures. Also spoken in Nigeria. Alternate names: Alada, Alada-Gbe, Gun-Alada, Gun-Gbe, Goun, Egun, Gu, Gugbe, Seto-Gbe, Toli-Gbe. Dialects: Ajra, Alada, Seto, Toli. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Left Bank, Gbe, Aja
Hausa [hau] Atacora and Borgou provinces mainly in larger towns and large market villages. Classification: Afro-Asiatic, Chadic, West, A, A.1
Ifè [ife] 80,000 in Benin (1990 SIL). Collines Province (northern part of former Zou Province), Savalou Subprefecture, Tchetti is main center. Alternate names: Baate, Ana, Ana-Ife, Anago, Ede Ife. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Benue-Congo, Defoid, Yoruboid, Edekiri
Kabiyé [kbp] 30,000 in Benin (1991 Vanderaa). Scattered villages in Donga Province (formerly southern half of Atakora Province), Ouake, Djougou, and Bassila subprefectures. Alternate names: Kabre, Kabye, Kabure, Cabrais, Cabrai. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, North, Gur, Central, Southern, Grusi, Eastern
Kyenga [tye] 1,000 in Benin (1995 Ross Jones SIM). Alibori Province (formerly northern half of Borgou Province), Segbana Subprefecture, around the village of Tungan Bage. Alternate names: Cenka, Tyenga. Classification: Niger-Congo, Mande, Eastern, Eastern, Busa
Lama [las] 69,000 in Benin (2001 Johnstone and Mandryk). Atakora Province, several villages, Boukombe Subprefecture, northwest of Boukombe and in the Donga Province (formerly southern half of Atakora Province), Djougou and Bassila subprefectures. Alternate names: Lamba, Losso. Dialects: Kande (Kante), Kadjala (Kadjalla). Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, North, Gur, Central, Southern, Grusi, Eastern
Lukpa [dop] 50,000 in Benin (2001 Johnstone and Mandryk). Population total all countries: 63,581. West Djougou and border areas, Atakora Province. Primarily around Kémérida. Also spoken in Togo. Alternate names: Lokpa, Logba, Legba, Lugba, Dompago. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, North, Gur, Central, Southern, Grusi, Eastern
Mbelime [mql] 24,500 (1991 Vanderaa). Atakora Province, Cobly Subprefecture and 5 villages in the Boukombe Subprefecture. Alternate names: Mbilme, "Niendi", "Niende". Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, North, Gur, Central, Northern, Oti-Volta, Eastern
Miyobe [soy] 7,000 in Benin (1991). Population total all countries: 8,700. Atakora Province. Also spoken in Togo. Alternate names: Soruba, Bijobe, Biyobe, Sorouba, Solla, Uyobe, Meyobe, Kayobe, Kuyobe, Sola, Solamba. Dialects: Lexical similarity 27% with Moba, 25% with Tamberma (Ditammari), 47% with Ngangam. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, North, Gur, Central, Northern, Oti-Volta, Gurma
Mokole [mkl] 65,500 (1991 L. Vanderaa). Borgou Province, Kandi and villages to the north and east. Alternate names: Mokollé, Mokwale, Monkole, Féri. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Benue-Congo, Defoid, Yoruboid, Edekiri
Nateni [ntm] 66,000 (2001 Johnstone and Mandryk). Atakora Province. The Natemba are in Toukountouna District, Tayaba in Tanguiéta District, Kuntemba in Kobly, Matiri, and Tanguiéta districts, Okoma in Tanguiéta and Kouandé districts. Tayakou is the center of traditional beliefs and practices. Dialects: Nateni (Natemba, Natimba), Tayari (Tayaba), Kunteni (Kuntemba), Okoni (Okoma). Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, North, Gur, Central, Northern, Oti-Volta, Gurma
Ngangam [gng] 20,000 in Benin (2002 SIL). Alternate names: Dye, Gamgan. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, North, Gur, Central, Northern, Oti-Volta, Gurma
Notre [bly] 1,500 (2002 SIL). Atakora Province, Tanguiéta Subprefecture, northwest, north, and northeast of town of Tanguiéta including Yarka section on the northeast side. Alternate names: Bulba, Nootre, Burusa, Boulba. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, North, Gur, Central, Northern, Oti-Volta, Western, Nootre
Tchumbuli [bqa] 2,500 (2000 SIL). Departement des Collines, subprefectures of Save and Ouessi, three villages: Okounfo, Edaningbe, and Gbede. Alternate names: Basa, Tshummbuli, Chombulon, Tchombolo. Dialects: Cobecha, Tchumbuli. Lexical similarity 80% with Chumburung. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Kwa, Nyo, Potou-Tano, Tano, Central, Akan
Tem [kdh] 50,000 in Benin (2001 Johnstone and Mandryk). Alternate names: Kotokoli, Cotocoli, Tim, Timu, Tembe. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, North, Gur, Central, Southern, Grusi, Eastern
Waama [wwa] 50,000 (2000 SIL). 20,000 monolinguals. Atakora Province, at least 20 villages. Natitingou is the cultural center. Several thousand in Cotonou, around Parakou, and in western Nigeria. Alternate names: Yoabu, Yoabou. Dialects: Waama, Tangamma. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, North, Gur, Central, Northern, Oti-Volta, Eastern
Yom [pil] 74,000 (2001 Johnstone and Mandryk). Djougou area, Atakora Province. Alternate names: Pila, Pilapila, Kpilakpila. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, North, Gur, Central, Northern, Oti-Volta, Yom-Nawdm
Yoruba [yor] 465,000 in Benin (1993 Johnstone). Porto-Novo and throughout the country in the towns and major villages. Alternate names: Yooba, Yariba, Ede-Yoruba. Dialects: Egba. Classification: Niger-Congo, Atlantic-Congo, Volta-Congo, Benue-Congo, Defoid, Yoruboid, Edekiri
Origem do nome do País :
Named after an old African Empire of Benin, on whose territory modern Benin does not actually lie.
Dahomey (former name): Named after the principal ethnic group of the country.
A Bandeira:
The national flag of Benin was originally adopted in 1959. It was changed upon the accession of the Marxist regime in 1975, but upon the removal of the regime, the old design was reintroduced on August 1, 1990. The colours are the traditional Pan-African colors: green symbolizes hope, yellow symbolizes wealth and red symbolizes courage.
Brasão:
The Coat of Arms of Benin was readopted in 1990 after being replaced in 1975.
At the top of the emblem is the national crest that consists of two horns with corn in the ear and filled with sand. These are reputed to stand for prosperity. Below the crest is a shield that contains the actual coat of arms of Benin.
The shield is broken into four quadrants. The top left quadrant contains a castle in the style of the Somba, representative of the history of Benin. In the top right quadrant, is the Star of Benin, the highest award of the nation. Below this is a ship, that stands for the arrival of Europeans in Benin. In the lower left quadrant is a palm tree.
The shield is supported by a pair of leopards, the national animal of Benin. Below the shield is the motto of Benin (Fellowship, Justice, Work) in French.
Palavra de ordem: "Fellowship, Justice, Labour"
Hino Nacional: L'Aube Nouvelle
Jadis à son appel, nos aïeux sans faiblesse
Ont su avec courage, ardeur, pleins d'allégresse
Livrer au prix du sang des combats éclatants.
Accourez vous aussi, bâtisseurs du présent,
Plus forts dans l'unité, chaqu'jour à la tâche,
Pour la postérité, construisez sans relâche.
CHORUS
Enfants du Bénin, debout!
La liberté d'un cri sonore
Chante aux premiers feux de l'aurore;
Enfants du Bénin, debout!
Quand partout souffle un vent de colère et de haine.
Béninois, sois fier, et d'une âme sereine,
Confiant dans l'avenir, regarde ton drapeau!
Dans le vert tu liras l'espor du renouveau,
De tes aïeux le rouge évoque le courage;
Des plus riches trésors le jaune est le présage.
CHORUS
Tes monts ensoleillés, tes palmiers, ta verdure,
Cher Bénin, partout font ta vive parure.
Ton sol offre à chacun la richesse des fruits.
Bénin, désormais que tes fils tous unis
D'un fraternel élan partagent l'espérance
De te voir à jamais heureux dans l'abondance.
CHORUS
English Translation
Formerly, at her call, our ancestors
Knew how to engage in mighty battles
With strength, courage, ardour, and full of joy, but at the price of blood.
Builders of present, you too, join forces
Each day for the task stronger in unity.
Build without ceasing for posterity.
CHORUS
Children of Benin, arise!
The resounding cry of freedom
Is heard at the first light of dawn,
Children of Benin, arise!
When all around there blows a wind of anger and hate:
Citizen of Benin be proud, and in a calm spirit
Trusting in the future, behold your flag!
In the green you read hope of spring;
The red signifies the courage of your ancestors;
The yellow fortells the greatest treasures.
CHORUS
Beloved Benin, your sunny mountains, palm trees, and green pastures
Show everywhere your brightness;
Your soil offers everyone the richest fruits.
Benin, from henceforth your sons are united
With one brotherly spirit sharing the hope of seeing you
Enjoy abundance and happiness forever.
CHORUS
Internet : www.gouv.bj
Benim em diferentes idiomas
eng | afr | bre | ces | cor | cym | dan | dsb | est | eus | fao | fin | fur | glv | hau | hrv | hsb | hun | ibo | ina | ita | jav | jnf | lim | lld | mlt | nld | nor | oci | pol | roh | ron | rup | slk | slv | sme | spa | swa | swe | tur | vor | wln | zza: Benin
aze | bos | crh | kaa | mol | slo | tuk | uzb: Benin / Бенин
arg | ast | cat | glg | isl | tet: Benín
deu | ltz | nds: Benin / Benin
fra | lin | nrm: Bénin
kin | run | wol: Bene
ind | msa: Benin / بينين
lav | mlg: Benina
scn | srd: Benìn
bam: Benɛn
cos: Beninu
epo: Benino
frp: Bènin
fry: Benyn
gla: Beinin
gle: Beinin / Beinin
hat: Benen
kmr: Bênîn / Бенин / بێنین
kur: Benîn / بەنین
lat: Beninum
lit: Beninas
por: Benim; Benin
que: Binin
rmy: Benin / बेनिन
smg: Benins
smo: Penini
som: Beniin
sqi: Benini
szl: Byńin
vie: Bê-nanh
vol: Beninän
yor: Ìbúní
abq | alt | bul | che | chm | chv | kbd | kir | kjh | kom | krc | kum | mkd | mon | oss | rus | tyv | udm: Бенин (Benin)
bak | srp | tat: Бенин / Benin
bel: Бенін / Bienin; Бэнін / Benin
kaz: Бенин / Benïn / بەنين
tgk: Бенин / بنین / Benin
ukr: Бенін (Benin)
ara: بينين (Bīnīn); بنين (Binīn / Banīn); بانين (Bānīn); بينان (Bīnān); البنين (al-Binīn); البينين (al-Bīnīn); البينان (al-Bīnān); بنن (Binin)
fas: بنین (Benīn)
prs: بینین (Bēnīn)
pus: بېنين (Benīn)
uig: بېنىن / Bénin / Бенин
urd: بنین (Banīn); بینین (Benīn); بینن (Benan)
div: ބެނިން (Benin)
heb: בנין (Benîn)
lad: בינין / Benin
yid: בענין (Benin)
amh: ቤኒን (Benin)
ell: Μπενίν (Mpenín)
hye: Բենին (Benin)
kat: ბენინი (Benini)
hin: बेनिन (Benin)
ben: বেনিন (Benin)
pan: ਬੇਨੀਨ (Benīn)
kan: ಬೆನಿನ್ (Benin)
mal: ബെനിന് (Benin)
tam: பெனின் (Peṉiṉ)
tel: బెనిన్ (Benin)
zho: 貝寧/贝宁 (Bèiníng)
jpn: ベナン (Benan)
kor: 베넹 (Beneng); 베냉 (Benaeng)
mya: ဘီနင္ (Bʰinĩ)
tha: เบนิน (Bēnin)
khm: បេណាំង (Beṇāṁṅ); ប៊ែនីន (Bænīn)
. . . screenshot of my video
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A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
Pheras
Ceremonia oficial de la boda.
Durante toda la ceremonia el sacerdote canta mantras en sánscrito a los dioses para bendecir a la pareja.
Official wedding ceremony.
During all the ceremony the priest sings mantras in Sanskrit to the gods to bless the couple.
Ramnagar, Uttarakhand, India
Rituals are an intrinsic part of Hindu Weddings. I love shooting the rituals in full details. Here is a sneak peak into one of them.
Saptapadi : MEaning "Seven steps" is one of the most important rituals of Hindu Weddings. the bride takes seven steps, each step signifying one vow/promise to their relationship and married life.
Saptapadi, or the taking of seven steps by the bride and the bridegroom before the sacred fire, is considered to be the rite of prime importance in solemnizing a marriage. According to Paraskar Grahaya Suktram and various other prominent Smritis, marriage has no strength or recognition if this rite is not duly performed. Until the bride has performed the Saptapadi she is considered unmarried. The Saptapadi is the only ritual that gives the right to a girl to choose her husband in front of the sacred fire (Agni).
A question that often comes to the mind is why seven steps? Seven has a very deep spiritual, philosophical & divine significance in it. There are seven matrikas or seven aspects of mother energy. The sacred fire has seven flames, there are seven porous pious rivers, seven phases in the life of a woman, seven elements of body, seven notes of music, seven rays of the sun and seven main planets. Therefore, seven is always considered to be a mystic number that bestows long life. In the famous puranic story of Savitri and Satyavan, Savitri mentions to Yamaraj (Lord of Death) that I have moved with you for seven steps, so we are already friends. As a friend how can you make me a widow by taking away my husband Satyawan's soul. Hence the concept of Saptapadi is very closely related with our mystic legends in the tradition of fulfilling the four ends of human life i.e. Dharma, Kama, Artha and Moksha in family life (grahasta).
While performing this rite, the bride, bearing in mind all previous ceremonies of Kanyadaan and Laja Homa, agrees to take the seven steps as the beginning of her life together with the bridegroom.
It is important to mention here, that this ceremony i.e. Saptapadi is mostly confused with pheras or agni pradakshina. The agni pradakshina or pheras is a totally different rite of four, three or seven circuits round the sacred fire, three of which are led by the bride and rest by bridegroom. The Saptapadi on the other hand is the rite of seven steps taken together by the bride and the bridegroom, at a slow and measured pace side-by-side and step-by step in the north-eastern direction. While moving forward the bride is always on the right side so that the bridegroom's right hand is on her right shoulder. He says to her "Let not your left foot surpass your right foot." With each step, the bride and the bridegroom take a pledge together.
I however see that in some of the weddings, only the bride is made to take the seven steps. The groom takes the vows in a different way, separately.
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B - 20130817 Explored # 70 - And thereby hangs a tale - . . .
if life is dying, a little bit more inside.
If life is crying in the dark . . .
Then I can say, with absolute certainty, that I have lived.
-Excerpt from a poem by a budding young Indian poetess based in Australia
This image had over 375 faves as on 6th October 2013. Then in a second the fave counter went back to ZERO - along with about 1700 images on my photo stream - just like that - no warning and no recourse :o(
Simultaneously it disappeared from all those galleries in which other Flickr members had kindly displayed it. Surely Flickr can have software which will warn you if you are doing something that will result in such catastrophe. I was just changing the privacy settings of some images when this happened. How come if we, so much as, want to delete a set, a warning pops up (although that action does nothing irretrievably disastrous as this did) but no warning for a click that removes all the faves from all your images, removes them from Explore (about 70 of mine got removed from Explore with this one silly action), removes them from any challenges/contests you may be participating in, and God alone knows what else !!
This photo has been on explore: Highest position: # 10 on Sunday, August 17, 2013
CameraCanon EOS 5D Mark III
Exposure0.008 sec (1/125)
Aperturef/4.0
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Pheras
Ceremonia oficial de la boda.
Durante toda la ceremonia el sacerdote canta mantras en sánscrito a los dioses para bendecir a la pareja.
Official wedding ceremony.
During all the ceremony the priest sings mantras in Sanskrit to the gods to bless the couple.
Ramnagar, Uttarakhand, India
5 may
The Bookseller of Kabul by Asne Seierstad
"Journalist Seierstad has a great narrative voice, and gives an easily accessible account of a war-torn and injured community. However, with every page that I read, what struck me was that this lady took advantage of a hospitable book-seller, ate his food, lived in his house, and then came home and proceeded to strip the family naked and raw in print. I found her sneakily judgemental turns of phrases, her constant refrain on the injustices within a family very offputting and find myself entirely in sympathy with the true man behind the book - Mr Shah Muhammad Rais - especially when he expresses his pain at Seierstad's gratuitous portrayal of his mother's obese nudity. Notwithstanding any agreements Seierstad may have made with Rais about writing the book, I feel sure Rais could not have had an inkling of exactly what she was going to write.
I am not sure whether I would want to read any of her other books. It's too much like peeping through a key-hole into someone's privacy."
11 may
The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown (audiobook)
"Ugh!
If he had nothing worthwhile to write about, or to plagiarize, Brown could have just waited a bit longer for inspiration to strike. The much-hyped Lost Symbol reads partly as a pedantic lecture, and partly as a series of mole-hill mountains. Forced twists and suspense build ups lead inevitably to anti-climaxes. Far from recreating the magic of Da Vinci Code, this books seems to be one of the lowest points in an author's work. "
13 may
Fragile Things by Neil Gaiman
A quirky bouquet of 27 short stories and poems, Gaiman presents something to appeal to every lover of fantasy fiction. Spooky, eerie, disturbing, comic, twisted, there seems to be something for every taste.
15 may
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
I will never lend books to boys. They NEVER return what they borrow. And some books, like this one, are so good that I have to end up re-buying and re-reading these. This book, on the second reading, still had the same magic. It still tugs at the heart-strings.
17 may
And Thereby Hangs A Tale by Jeffrey Archer
Typical Jeffrey Archer. A cozy set of 15 short stories, most with an Archeresque twist at the end. As an unabashed Archer fan, I have no complaints on this one… except that I absolutely hated the last one, based in India, for the many inaccuracies - what Indian wedding ceremony involves dancing around "pheras"? why would a person be named Naresh Khan? "Phera" is a ritual where the wedding couple walk sedately 7 times around a sacred fire. Strictly no dancing for the couples in an Indian wedding, Mr. Archer. And "Naresh" is a Hindu name, and "Khan" is an Islamic name.
19 may
The Sweetness At The Bottom Of The Pie by Alan Bradley (audiobook)
"Endearing.
The first one in the Flavia de Luce mystery series. A cozy English village whodunit, where the precocious Ms Flavia does grow on you by the end of the book. And yes, I guessed who the murderer was. But I still liked this book. I found it better than the second book in the series which I had read last month."
22 may
Runemarks by Joanne Harris
A world populated by Norse gods, demi-gods and goblins. Magic, war, betrayals, twists. But a little too much information on Runes, a little thin on the plot. Not one of Harris's best works.
24 may
Getting Rid Of Bradley by Jennifer Crusie (e-book)
Funny chick lit. But it unfortunately degenerates into a sissy romance midway through. Good for light reading, this is a one-sitting sized novel.
25 may
Woman Hollering Creek and other stories by Sandra Cisneros
Powerful passionate writing. But a little too much of doom, gloom and female suffering for me. The world seems to be solely populated by cheating and unfeeling husbands, and the enduring women who love them. One wonders why!
28 may
Zoo Station by David Downing
A quiet unassuming World War II espionage story. The protagonist is an Anglo American journalist living in Germany for a long time, has a German semi-Nazi son, a German anti-Nazi girlfriend, and finds himself gradually drawn into the world of Russian, British and American spies. A very un-heroic hero, who gradually finds courage to stand for his beliefs. Very atmospheric, without too much overt violence. The sequel is on my to-read list.
Pheras
Ceremonia oficial de la boda.
Durante toda la ceremonia el sacerdote canta mantras en sánscrito a los dioses para bendecir a la pareja.
Official wedding ceremony.
During all the ceremony the priest sings mantras in Sanskrit to the gods to bless the couple.
Ramnagar, Uttarakhand, India
. . . this is a different wedding!
screenshot of my video
_____________________
A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
. . . this is a screenshot of my video documentary about the Hindu Wedding Ceremony.
Yes, additional to my photos I have video documentaries of the same places in all countries . . .
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A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
Pheras
Ceremonia oficial de la boda.
Durante toda la ceremonia el sacerdote canta mantras en sánscrito a los dioses para bendecir a la pareja.
Official wedding ceremony.
During all the ceremony the priest sings mantras in Sanskrit to the gods to bless the couple.
Ramnagar, Uttarakhand, India
. . . this is a different wedding!
screenshot of my video
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A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
. . . this is a different wedding!
screenshot of my video
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A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
. . . this is a different wedding!
screenshot of my video
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A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
. . . screenshot of my video
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A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
. . . screenshot of my video
_____________________
A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
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A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
. . . this is a different wedding!
screenshot of my video
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A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
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A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
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A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
. . . this is a different wedding!
screenshot of my video
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A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
. . . this is a different wedding!
screenshot of my video
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A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
A Hindu wedding is Vivaha or "Kalyanam" or "Madhuve"(Sanskrit: विवाह Kannada:ಮದುವೆ Tamil: கல்யாணம் ) and the wedding ceremony is called vivaah sanskar in North India and Kalyanam or Madhuve in South India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof – are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons, and other decorations.
The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in North Indian Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a promise to each other before fire. However, these rituals aren't essential part of South Indian Hindu weddings were exchange of garland is main ritual, along with it tying of "Tali" around bride's neck.
The North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, where as in South Indian tradition reciting holy chant with or without Sacred Fire is very common form of ritual, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom is also used.
The pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preferences or the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi-day events. Pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement (involving vagdana or betrothal and lagna-patra written declaration), and arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often in the form of a formal procession with dancing and music. The post-wedding ceremonies may include Abhishek, Anna Prashashan, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of Grihastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple.
In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. This requirement is under debate.
A Hindu wedding is regionally called vivaha (Hindi: विवाह), (Bengali : বিবাহ), (Kannada: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve)), (Telugu: పెళ్లి (pelli), మనువు (manuvu).
EIGHT TYPES OF MARRIAGE
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:
- Brahma marriage – considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.
- Daiva marriage – in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.
- Arsha marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).
- Prajapatya marriage – in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.
The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:
- Gandharva marriage – in this type of marriage, the couple simply live together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummating their relationship. This marriage is entered into without religious ceremonies, and was akin to the Western concept of Common-law marriage. Kama Sutra, as well as Rishi Kanva – the foster-father of Shakuntala – in the Mahabharata, claimed this kind of marriage to be an ideal one.
- Asura marriage – in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchange. This was akin to marrying off a daughter for money. This marriage was considered inappropriate by Hindu Smriti-writers because greed, not what is best for the girl, can corrupt the selection process.
The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):
- Rakshasa marriage – where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The word Rakshasa means devil.
- Paishacha marriage – where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.
James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.
MAIN RITUALS
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.
These are a few key rituals common in a North Indian Hindu wedding ceremony, these practices were recently followed by some upper castes of South India as well. These are:
- Kanyadaan – the giving away of daughter by the father
- Panigrahana – a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union
- Saptapadi – is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of agnipradakshinam – walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk. The fire is a form of yajna – a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage). After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.
Traditional Tamil Wedding essentially don't follow Kanyadaan, Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals. According to P.T. Srinivasa Iyengar, "rite of marriage there is nothing absolutely Aryan, there is no lighting of fire, no circum ambulatory of fire, and no priest to receive dakshina". Many of this Tamil traditions were still prevalent among Nair community of Kerala, and some communities of Tamil Nadu. These tradition of simple marriage still performed in Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
Lara Homan or Fire ritual is observed by Brahmin communities of South India, it is absent in other communities of South India.
KANYADAAN
The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love
With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O god of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.
In South Indian weddings, Kanyadaanam is a ceremony where the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf. The scarf is then worn by the groom. Special thread is blessed with religious incantations. The thread is then used to tie the right hands of bride and groom. This is a symbol of new eternal unity.
PANIGRAHANA
The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.
Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee
This I am, That art thou
The Sāman I, the Ŗc thou
The Heavens I, the Earth thou
In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.In South Indian Wedding where holding of hands is observed, fire is absent completely, instead water mixed with turmeric powder is poured over the hands to complete the ritual. This depiction is seen in Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Auspicious items like a coconut, betel leaves, and nuts are placed on the hands of the bride. On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke, and water is poured though the aperture.
One of the ancient poem in Tamil describes the actual marriage ceremony as follows “There was a huge heap of rice cooked with pulse (even after many guests had been fed). On the floor of a pandal built on long rows of wooden columns was spread freshly brought sand. House lamps were lighted. The bride and the bridegroom were adorned with flower-garlands. In the beautiful morning of the day of the bent, bright moon, when the stars shed no evil influence, some women carrying pots on the head, others bearing new, broad bowls, handed them one after another while fair elderly dames were making much noise. Mothers of sons, with bellies marked with beauty-spots, wearing beautiful ornaments, poured water on the bride, so that her black hair shone bright with cool petals of flowers and rice-grains (which had been mixed with the water), and at the same time they blessed her, saying ‘do not swerve from the path of chastity, be serviceable in various ways to your husband who loves you and live with him as his wife’. On the night after the marriage ceremony was over, the neighbouring ladies assembled, (dressed the bride in new clothes) and sent her to the arms of her lover, to which she went with trepidation.”
South Indian wedding rituals validating element in performance of the marriage is not saptapadi, but the ritual of panigrahana, the seizing of the bride's hand is most obvious. The ritual depicted in dharma texts, but lost its dominant position in North Indian wedding but still part of an important ritual in South India.
SAPTAPADI - SHORT FORM
The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.
In some of the South Indian weddings, especially in the Brahmin communities after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder – together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O beautiful girl!"
In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:
"We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."
SAPTAPADI - LONG FORM
The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:
Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph.
Step 1 - Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
Step 1 - Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.
Step 2 - Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
Step 2 - Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.
Step 3 - Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
Step 3 - Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.
Step 4 - Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
Step 4 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.
Step 5 - Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
Step 5 - Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.
Step 6 - Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
Step 6 - Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.
Step 7 - Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
Step 7 - Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
SAPTAPADI - ABSENT
In South India, Section 7-A (inserted by Tamil Nadu government in 1968) of Hindu Marriage Act provides for a particular kind of marriage – Suyamariyathai marriages – among two Hindus. Which meant a marriage without a Brahmin priest and Saptapadi, the couple going around a fire seven times is not needed. Madras High Court said while upholding an amendment made 47 years ago by the Tamil Nadu government. In South India, groom leads the bride around the sanctum sanctorum or holy trees instead of holy fire.
ADDITIONAL RITUALS
Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.
Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.
In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.
Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.
After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.
Most common on North India, Aeke Beki is also an interesting tradition It is a wedding customary game played by bride and groom on the wedding day. This involves finding a ring and coins from a dish filled with a mixture of milk, water and Sindoor. Bride and groom sit in front of each other with the dish in the centre and there are seven goes to fetch ring or coins, whoever fishes out the most items wins.
Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.
In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.
RITUALS IN NEPAL
In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.
The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.
After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.
After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.
WEDDING AND MARRIED LIFE IN HINDUISM
While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.
ECONOMICS
In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.
LAW
In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.
MARRIED LIFE
A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.
WIKIPEDIA
The Vachra Dada also known as Bhathiji Maharaj Mandir is a folk deity of Fagvel village in the Kheda District of Gujarat state in India. He is an eminent warrior-hero of the region. Hindus and Muslims alike honor him.
History of Bhathiji Maharaj:-
As per folk tales Vachara was son of a Solanki Rajput ruler named Chachak in Kathiawad. On the day he was getting married, when he was taking the fera, he heard the news that some dacoits are looting and taking the cows of village.
He left the marriage ceremony to fight the plunderers, in which, he attained martyrdom. According to the legend it is believed that Vachara's ahead was separated in the fight by a sword and even after that his body fought against the people and killed them all. A temple was built in his memory.
The location of his death was Fagvel in Kheda district, which is today a pilgrimage center and houses the main temple of Vachra Dada. Other major temples are located in Devada, Porbandar, Patan, Godhana, Bhanvad, Khambhalia, Dwarka, Mandvi and Anjar City to name a few.
It is said that Vachara's wife Umade wanted to become a sati but was stopped by saint, who asked her to go to her in laws house. Vachara was blessed by God and was asked to consummate the marriage in vayu form. Thus, twenty two sons were born to him, Solanki descendants of who all worship him as kuldevta. Mers also worship Vachra Dada and is one of main deity of their caste.
It is said was reborn seven times and every time he would do Pheras (walking around fire to symbolize marriage) he would be interrupted by dacoits taking away the cows. In his seventh life he successfully killed the dacoits. Thus he became a Shurveer in seven cycle of birth as per Hindu myths and became a demi-god after that.
Vachhada Dada is shown sitting on a white Kathiawari horse with a snake at his feet and a flaming sword in his hands. He is worshiped by Khedus (Gujarati word for a farmer) to protect their cattle and keep their crops thriving. Many temples andderas can be found through out Gujarat devoted to him.
Vachara Dada is worshiped by Hindus to cure ill livestock and family members. Bhuva, the priest of Vachhara Dada is approached for diagnosis and curing of disease among men and animals. When a family member, a cow, a buffalo etc. falls ill or dies, it is believed that the spirit of an ancestor had been annoyed because of neglect of timely worship, lack of offering ritual food and respect.
When someone is harassed by an evil spirit, a medium man of Vachhada Dada is consulted. If the evil spirit tries to evade the commands of Vachhada Dada, the medium man threatens to punish the spirit by inciting against it the wrath of this powerful deity.
In Devada village of Kheda district of Gujarat hundreds of worshippers of Bacchus, Hindus as well as Muslims, line up there every Friday to seek the blessings of the deity and the priest, and take a vow to renounce liquor.
A film about him was directed by Shantilal Soni and released in 1980 named “Bhathiji na Mandire” in 1980 and Bhathiji Maharaj in 1990 both in Gujarati. Also there are musical albums of bhajan and songs in his reverence available sung by local as well as known artists like
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Customs and rituals are the base of Hindu marriages, which denote the real meaning of a happily married life. Saptapadi consists of seven different promises which the bride and the groom take as an oath during their wedding. There are many rituals and customs in the Hindu weddings, but the most important of them all is the Saptapadi.
During the pheras, the priest who conducts the wedding recites or chants the Vedic mantras, and the groom holds the little finger of the bride and repeats the vows. He leads her around four times and for the last three steps, the bride leads the groom around the sacred fire. During the pheras or steps, the Gods are invoked to shower blessings on the bride and the groom. It is believed that when a married couple takes seven pheras together, their married life will be happy for a long time. The Agni is made with ghee and wooden stick, the bride and the groom take pheras around this during the wedding. The couple takes vows and pledges their commitment towards each other for their entire life.
Seven Steps / Vows in the Hindu Wedding Means:
The couple takes the first step and promises that they will take care of each other and pray for abundant blessings and prosperity in their life.In the second step, the couple promises and prays to the Gods to bless them with physical and mental powers and lead a healthy married life. During the third step, they promise to protect and increase their wealth by proper means. With the fourth step, the bride and the groom pledge to share happiness and sadness together. With the fifth step, the couple promises to be responsible and care for their children.
The sixth step is taken by the couple to be together always.And while taking the last seventh step, they promise to be truthful and trustworthy to each other and pledge to be united always in friendship and harmony.
On taking the seven pheras together, the bride and the groom prays to be together forever without having any clashes or quarrels to break their relationship and not only thinking about their likes and desires but also about the entire family.
Thus, the ritual of Saptapadi is one of the most important ceremonies in the Hindu wedding and the concept behind it is that the newlyweds pray and pledge not only for them but everyone in the family to be healthy and prosperous.