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LOLA Day 22
August 28, 2014
I am reading Oola: Find Balance in an Unbalanced World. And one big thing that is really sticking in my head is this question. How will I feel about this when today is over?
We eat bad, have an extra piece of cake, say something snarky to someone else, get stressed out over the little things and let it snowball for the rest of your day. Well ask yourself this question; how will i feel about this when today is over. I know when I relax for the evening and start think about my day and think I wish I told that lady how well behaved her son was, or that showing up 10 minutes late wasn't that big of a deal, but I let is consume my whole day and on and on. You just need to calm down and remember everything is a passing moment. It will pass and then you will be into the next.
I had a very restless sleep last night, then got a work call at 6am, while trying to get E ready for the day. He started to lose it because I was on the phone and not paying attention to him. Well then the work issue turned into a bigger issue and now I am going to be late dropping E off at daycare and getting to work. And of course I have a conference call with a vendor and 3 other people scheduled for 9am. Well I finally hit the road and dropped E off 45 minutes later than normal, and start to head for the bus. Well now all the parking spots will probably be gone, then holy sh!t that guy just cut me off and I'm a shaken pop can about to be cracked open! But I recognized that I was about to let my whole day go off the rails and for what? So before I let it continue to snowball out of control, I talked myself out of it. I will send an email and let the team know I may be late but I am en route. I will go to the bus stop and if all the parking is gone then I will just drive to into work today. No big deal. Calmed down and suddenly other drivers seemed to be less infuriating and there was plenty of parking at the bus station and look at that a bus showed up right then too.
I can't have pop (soda for the Americans) in my house or I will gulp it down. However at work we have free pop. Dangerous! And in the moment I can usually justify it (I can justify just about anything). Anyway, when I have myself convinced, I am tired, it's been a long day, I need the caffeine and sugar I saw this post it note I put on my desk. How will I feel about this when today is over? And I knew, I KNEW that later tonight if I had that pop I would totally be regretting it and giving myself the no more pop lecture. But I didn't have one so YAY me! I made it to work in time to grab myself a raspberry green tea latte and walk in the door at 9AM. The day was busy, but very productive and when I was stressing out about being so busy, I asked for help and suddenly it was all under control. We ended the day with a great time at the daycare family picnic. Watching E experience and be amazed by the world makes me just want to smile and cry all the same time. It makes my heart smile. He waited so patiently for his turn to get a balloon and when it was his turn oh my goodness the excitement, it was like the best thing in the world. He was just so happy and thankful to have his own green balloon sword. I love and cherish all of these amazing moments.
I was also thinking about not going to family picnic, because you know I was tired and had such a long day at work and excuse, excuse excuse. But we obviously went, had a great time and made some lasting memories. This is going to sound cheesy but say YES to life. Enjoy the moments, and sure they won't all be grand, but know they are just another passing moment.
Quotes for today:
*Don't worry about failure. Worry about the chances you miss when you don't even try - live the #oolalife
*Be in love with your life every minute -Jack Kerouac
*the purpose of life is to be happy -Dalai Lama
LOLA Day 322
June 24 - I thought this would always be a magical and wonderful day that I would celebrate my marriage for the next 70 years. We were a few days short of making it to 3 years as a married couple. Today would have been 4 years. Today I will not cry for what never was. I will not mourn a marriage that was full of lies and deceit and nearly broke me. I gave him my fragile heart to hold, and he treated as if it was a piece of garbage, something unimportant and not worth anything to him. I thought that my love was enough to keep us together, to get us through these "dark times" and bad things. It was not enough. it was not enough to keep me together. It was draining me, physically, mentally and emotionally. I was sure the universe was pushing me to see how much I could take before I would break. I felt like I was done, then would get hit with something else. I was sure I would end up in a padded room sooner than later. It was a serious concern for me. I was trying SO hard to bring back my sparkle, my shine, even just to smile some days. I started to make some immediate changes that I was in control of, however there was always the lies and deceit and loveless marriage that filled my home life. January 2014 I felt like I was preparing myself for a divorce. Something that I had managed to push off and talk myself out of many times prior. But I knew in my gut, that if I wanted to be healthy and happy and raise my child in a healthy and happy home, that divorce was quickly becoming the only option that made sense to me. I was building myself up again. Preparing myself to have the hard conversation when it was time. Things never improved then in June evidence of continued bad things and nothing but lies. I was ready. It was time.
I won't say I regret it, we came together so I could have my son. Do I regret staying as long as I did, sure, but I needed to be ready to make that major change in my life. I needed to let go of my ego. I needed to be 100% sure there was nothing else I could do to make it work.
So here we are today. I bought myself a nice Spanish Latte from Caffe Artigiano, and the girl made me a beautiful heart. My career has moved forward dramatically, I have more education, a new outlook on life. I am happy to be me and make my own sunshine. I would like to have a life partner, someone to camp & hike with and have discussions with and deep philosophical conversations and be silly with, have support and backup, to share my life with and to love and cherish. However right now, I know it's not the right time. My son and I are settling into our life and deciding what we want it to be. I want to be able to enjoy the time as just mother and son versus the world. I feel the winds of change are coming for us in the next couple of years. When the time is right I am sure I will find that someone who will treat me and my heart like a precious and beautiful jewel. I also won't be so willing to give it away again. I know I don't need to look to someone else to make me happy. I saw this wonderful post on facebook yesterday by project happiness and had to share. It seems to be completely how I feel. www.flickr.com/photos/angestar/19123148171/in/dateposted-...
Quotes for Today:
*“Get out of your head and get into your heart more.”~Osho
*You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink
*You cannot change the people around you, but you can change the people you choose to be around #oolalife
*This isn’t the love story I imagined for myself. This isn’t the kind of love they write about in love songs or show in movies. (Except Lifetime of course!) This isn’t how it was supposed to go. I was going to give my all to him and he was going to give his all to me. I was going to love all of him and he was going to love all of me. It was going to be beautiful. And even when it wasn’t beautiful, it was going to be strong and inspiring. A testament to the power of true love and commitment. -Rachel Boley
*May my heart be kind, my mind fierce and my spirit brave.
LOLA Day 69
October 14, 2014
I am reading North of Normal by Cea Sunrise Person, as recommended by a friend. It is crazy but SO good. I am really enjoying it!
I am finding that by the end of the day I completely wiped out and have a hard time getting the energy to do my LOLA posts. So i am going to try posting the morning after. I am still on the emotional rollercoaster ride, although right now I think I am slowly climbing a hill. I feel good, but it is still taking a lot out of me. Everyday new realizations, affirmations and confirmations that I 100% am making the right choices. I am getting pretty excited to move now and having my time back (see previous post) and start to really live life again. Bust out of this weird time freeze bubble (or whatever the heck it is) that I seem to be stuck in.
Quotes for today:
*for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
-Dr Suess
*One day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else -Live the #OolaLife
*“Are you ready?" Klaus asked finally.
"No," Sunny answered.
"Me neither," Violet said, "but if we wait until we're ready we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives, Let's go.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Ersatz Elevator
LOLA Day 146
December 30, 2014
Life is wonderful. This time last year I was so full of negative energy, people could feel my vibrating with it. I tried so hard to be happy, but was very fragile. This year, I am so full of gratitude, love and happiness. This Christmas holiday was amazing!! I feel like a unicorn pooping rainbows! What a difference a year of hard decisions, self-work, perseverance and amazing support can do for a person.
Today I got to spend my morning with one amazing woman and her son. We are all full of inspiration and strength, YOU just need to believe in yourself, it's there. It might be hiding deep down, but it is there.
If 2014 was a year full of questions, make 2015 one with answers. It might seem like it's harder because of the choices you make, but I promise at the end it will be so worth it and it will get better.
Quotes for today:
*Eventually all things will fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moments, and know that everything happens for a reason - #OOLAlife
*You are a warrior of the light. Heal yourself. Fight for love. Save the Earth - DoItGirl
*He said, "There are only two days of the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday, and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live." - Dalai Lama
LOLA Day 105
November 19, 2014
Another day full of genuine happiness and smiles. Continued to have my name changed at work, and got my drivers license updated too. which means I was able to pick up my packages tonight!! woohoo!! I received this fancy little necklace I ordered myself from etsy! love it!
I also got a house warming gift - a sweet yoga meditation cushion (purple of course). I made use of it and did a 10min meditation tonight. I have not been keeping up with my promise to myself to mediate more to date. but this is something that will change. I also received an amazing handmade card from my Auntie Terri! I am feeling the love!!
I am still feeling great and back in control and that the color has returned to my life. its an amazing feeling.
quotes for today:
*to get what you want, you must be willing to take action; you must be willing to do the work -TheMinimalista
*life is like an elevator. on your way up sometimes you have to stop and let some people off. #oolalife
*beautiful things happen when you distant yourself from negative people -#oolalife
LOLA Day 211
This is me trying to look all BA (bad ass) after pumping gas, lol. It was +11 degrees!!!
I'm back at SAIT again today. Love meeting new people and learning new things. Quite a few people from my class last week are in this one too, so it's fun to see familiar faces.
Grateful Day 4
Today I am grateful for the opportunity to continue my education, and that I can do it during work hours.
I am grateful to my Dad for taking the time to wash and clean my car while I was in class. **It wasn't THAT bad I swear
Quotes for today:
*Maybe it's not always about trying to fix something that is broken. Maybe it;s about starting over and creating something better. -live the #OOLALife
*Patience is bitter, but it's fruit is sweet - Aristotle
*Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. - Confucius
LOLA Day 127
December 11, 2014
vest weather and in December! nice!
Christmas tea and cookies eff debt at day care. it was fun, and always nice to meet the other parents and watch you kid interact where he spends his days.
this photo was taken on the bus. there very an old man standing and no one near him were making any hint at offering him their seat. I was a little ways away but at the next stop got up and offered him my seat. I will admit I debated if I should. why should I, why can't these other people? I always give up my seat for others. then I thought back to that #oolalife post I did awhile ago, "how will i feel about this when today is over?". I knew I would feel bad if I hadn't done what I felt was the right thing, offer the man my seat. I sit at a desk for the majority of my work day. why do I need to sit all the way home too?
it was a small choice, but I feel a big one too. I didn't follow the masses, I did what I knew was right and I feel like a good person because of it. no more critical mass.
if you think you should. then do it. especially when it comes to doing nice things for others, why wouldn't you? we can all use a little kindness from strangers. and its good for you too. be nice to one another.
LOLA Day 110
November 24, 2014
a few more things from the uncoupling are being closed off and dealt with this week. its a bittersweet feeling. I consider myself lucky that things have been easily uncoupled without much difficulty, but its also sad to see how easily we can just walk away from the life that was.
I continue to find that talking with others and embracing the help and support of family and friends can never be underestimated. I have met some amazing people since this all went down.
quotes for today:
*it's time to remember what its like feel alive
*once you are brave enough to say goodbye, god (sub the universe) will reward you with a new hello. #oolalife
*my goal is to build a life I don't need a vacation from
LOLA Day 150
January 3, 2014
What the back of my head looks like in case you were wondering.
I am absolutely loving life. I am just so happy and smiling all day long. I don't even have words for just how amazing, free and happy I feel. It is wonderful.
Quotes for today:
*Own your past, appreciate your present, and create you future -#OOLALife
*You are enough. not because you did or said or thought or bought or became or created something special, but because you always were -Project Happiness
*The best feelings are those that have no words to describe them.
Let go.... @oolalife #oola #oolalife #OolaGal #inspire #motivation #inspirational #motivational #life #lifequotes #quotes - tammyntx
LOLA Day 160
January 13, 2014
Me on my morning commute.
Quotes for today:
*Be Patient. Just because something isn't happening for you right now, doesn't mean it will never happen. -#OOLALife
*Accept who you are; and revel in it. -Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie
*I give myself a good cry if I need it, but then I concentrate on all good things still in my life -Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie
LOLA Day 338
Chester Lake
Elevation Gain: 310 m (1,017 ft).
Distance 10.2 km
Today's adventure. I've snowshoed this trail years ago but never hiked in the summer. it was a great trail after a day of stampeding, not too challenging. it is a beautiful hike!
can you tell I just shoved some food in mouth?
Quotes for today:
*be amazed by what's around you, but don't underestimate what's inside of you -#oolalife
*ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting closer to where you want to be tomorrow -#oolalife
*so far you've survived 100% of your worst days. you're doing great! -higher perspective
LOLA Day 58
October 3, 2014
Don't miss the moment. -Thrive, Arrianna Huffington
Early morning mouth wash rinse to start off the day (don't worry I promise I brushed too, but as for flossing........ I'll do it tonight). Now that I am starting to get out of my fog and the color is returning to my world, I am trying to focus a lot more on my little dudey. Enjoying all the little moments together. All the amazing things he says and does. Every single day he amazes me, and I want to be in the present moment and be 100% connected with him. Not half connected to my phone and a half a dozen other conversations at the same time. My son deserves my full attention, not the the top of my head while my eyes are glued to my phone. And yes absolutely there is a balance, I still need to cook and clean and take care of myself too, and he needs to understand that, but he also deserves some of my undivided attention as well.
One of my friend's told me awhile, "As in all things, balance is key." -CR and it is so true to EVERYTHING in life. Balance is so important.
Quotes for today:
*The difference between an opportunity and an obstacle is your attitude. You faith has to be greater than your fear -#oolalife
*Life is about balance. Be kind, but don't let people abuse you. Trust, but don't be deceived. Be content, but never stop improving yourself.
*Extremes are easy. Strive for balance. -Colin Wright
#quotes #true #word #balance #lifequotes #oolaliving #oolaseeker #blessed #innerpeace #oolalife #lifeisbeautiful #meditation #oola #quoteoftheday #cute - moohr
#quotes #true #word #balance #lifequotes #oolaliving #oolaseeker #blessed #innerpeace #oolalife #lifeisbeautiful #meditation #oola #quoteoftheday #cute #cherishquotes #dailyquotes #amazingquotes #positivequotes #lovequotes #trustquotes #cutequotes #sayings #forever #motivationalquotes #25likes #quotesaboutlove #motivationalsyings #goodsayings #iloveyou - gamzehcizreli
I think it's rather sad when we regret the chances and opportunities we didn't take. When you live everyday with should haves, could haves and would haves. . . The beauty in life is the fearlessness in taking a chance, growing from it and turning out better than expected. . You'll never know beauty unless you try. . . #oola #oolalife #oolaliving #oolaseeker #reallifequotes #balance #innerpeace #quoteoftheday #photooftheday #picoftheday #happy #amazing #success #successquotes - ohso_feisty
LOLA Day 94
I'm a moving machine. I'm exhausted.
Quote for today:
*Strength doesn't come from what you can do. it comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't. -#oolalife
*you are absolutely enough
*the problem is not the problem. the problem is your attitude about the problem. do you understand? - captain jack sparrow
In life we help create our own triumphs and defeats, depending in how and what we think. . . . The mind is a very powerful thing, and by listening to our thoughts we are able to tap into the unlimited power it has to offer. ~ Milton Willis . . #success #successquotes #motivation #inspiration #millionairemindset #oola #oolalife #oolaseeker #oolaliving #balance #neverquit #reallifequotes #quotes #quoteoftheday #motivationalquotes #photooftheday #picoftheday #power - ohso_feisty
Never let a stumble be the end of your journey. Believe in the beauty of your dreams. . . . #oola #oolalife #oolaseeker #peace #opportunity #success #successquotes #inspiration #motivated #dreams #happiness #beinspired #soul - ohso_feisty
Always be humble..... @oolalife #oola #oolalife #OolaGal #humility #life #lifequotes #inspiration #motivation #Monday #quotes - tammyntx
Continue to practice humility with every success. It can all be easily taken away as it is given. . Continue to be strong at heart through the failures as they are stepping stones to achieving whatever your heart desires. . #success #successquotes #oola #oolalife #balance #innerpeace #quotes #quoteoftheday #quotesgram #photooftheday #picoftheday #happy #amazing #humility - ohso_feisty
I don't know about you but I could use a miracle. That's why quitting is not part of my vocabulary nor my mindset. . . Mindset is everything! . . #success #successquotes #motivation #inspiration #millionairemindset #oola #oolalife #oolaseeker #oolaliving #balance #neverquit #reallifequotes #quotes #quoteoftheday #motivationalquotes #photooftheday #picoftheday - ohso_feisty
The challenge of overcoming the struggle and succeeding is what makes you feel alive. . So I'll take the ups and the downs and ride the wave! :) . . #thestruggle #challenges #success #feelalive #lifeworthliving #balance #oolalife #innerpeace #lifeisbeautiful #lifequotes #quotes #quoteoftheday #goodmorning - ohso_feisty