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Mendon Ponds Park is owned and very poorly maintained by the County of Monroe, NY.
Unfortunately, this extraordinary property is rapidly deteriorating due to an egregious lack of care. Trails are not cleared of debris... signs are useless. Park maintenance is essentially nonexistent. They do have a marketing department. Seriously, the taxpayers are paying the salaries of a county parks marketing department.
Email Mendon Ponds Park complaints to: countyexecutive@monroecounty.gov
Maine state capitol in Augusta. The only other time I've seen this building was way back in late summer 1996. The dome was green then. Coppery green, like the Statue of Liberty (as is given away in the collage picture of the capitol made of business cards posted here). It was recently repainted black, within the last few years.
It's a fairly straightforward and understated capitol which makes it enjoyable. The city of Augusta...an unusual place. A town of 20,000, there aren't many amenities here, and public transportation is nonexistent. I was incredibly lucky to get uber drivers, according to the one who drove me back to the bus station. Overall, Maine isn't a place to be if you aren't driving yourself around.
Snowy Egret, Morro Bay State Park Marina, Morro Bay, CA
**Birds of the World:**
*Agonistic Behavior*
- Physical Interactions
Breeders in New Jersey initiated chases in colonies when intruder (Snowies and other species) was 0.7 m away from the nest, on average, but won only 32% of interspecific contests. When intruding on other species' territories, Snowy Egrets were chased a mean distance of 1.3 m. Agonistic interactions with conspecifics were most frequent before eggs were laid, nonexistent by end of incubation.
- Communicative Interactions
Defends small territories around nest and for foraging. Defense of foraging territories brief and sporadic in s. New Jersey. Hostile displays involve crest-raising and rasping calls (Aah, Raah). Upright posture and moderate plume erection proceeds in low-intensity displays (Snap, Stretch) to full attacks with inclined body and fully erected feathers. Fights during territory establishment common. At nest site, hostile displays accompanied by vocalizations and intensification of soft-part color. Low-intensity Stretch display by territorial male attracts group which is initially attacked by displaying male. Higher-intensity displays associated with fewer attacks.
Duck with figs didn't seem particularly Catalan, but I wanted it anyway. Poultry seemed practically nonexistent in Barcelona.
Get the full scoop
A view of Bagh-e-Babur in Kabul...The Emperor Babur built his finest garden in his favourite city in 1528 and is said to have enjoyed so many long afternoons with concubines and fountains of wine there that he chose it as his final resting place...Time has taken its toll on Babur's original garden and by 2001, three decades of foreign occupation, unrest, a devastating civil war and an iron fisted Taliban rule, rendered them nonexistent. Restoration on the site began in 2002 by the Agha Khan Foundation... .Babur's gardens attract over 300,000 visitors per year who pay a 20 Afghanis (40 cents or 25p) entrance fee in order to enjoy the open spaces and picnic beneath shady trees. Although many visitors are in Kabul visiting friends and family, most are Kabuli and can ill afford the luxury or their own patch of land in the city..
I'm gobsmacked by several things here. First, the light was nonexistent. Yet the Sony A7RII performed extremely well at incredibly high ISO. Second, using knowledge developed around a digital Zone System, I knew precisely where I wanted the tonal values and was able to place them accordingly. Third, I am happy to confirm the dynamic range of the sensor extends usefully to below Zone 0 (Zone -2!), even at such high ISO settings. Fourth, 1950s German optics can do the trick. These images were made using a triplet wide angle. Who would design such a thing and make it work? Micro-contrast is something to be seen, otherwise you wouldn't believe it.
Winter remains nonexistent. While this shot looks like there may be a 1/4 inch, it really was only a light dusting.
A headlining performance by Looming at Black Sheep Cafe in Springfield, IL on January 17, 2014. Openers included Meredosia, Bad Catman, Bookmobile, and The Flips.
Words cannot describe how good it felt to be shooting another show at Black Sheep after so long. It doesn't have the greatest lighting and the photo pit is nonexistent, but I just feel so at home there because that community of people is just incredible. They all support each other so much and it's amazing to be a part of that and to get to photograph it every so often. And then getting to be the guest photographer for Harm House's "Record of the Night" was absolutely awesome. Honestly, when I look back, I can't even begin to describe how thankful I am to the Black Sheep venue and community for everything they've done for me. This was my training ground when I was really getting started, and these are the people who took me in and accepted me without question and without reservation. That, and they put on some kick-ass shows =)
The tracks made by two rocks as they made a sharp turn.
Again from the Visitor Center: "Racetrack Playa: The trails of wandering rocks -- In a remote valley, heavy boulders scoot across a dry lakebed when no one is looking. We think we know how it happens: in winter, rain on the clay surface of the playa freezes into rafts of ice around the rocks. When a powerful wind hits, the rocks sail across the rain-slickened clay. NASA scientists and university researchers are studying these roving rocks, but as yet no one has actually seen them move.
CAUTION: The Racetrack is at the end of a 26-mile rough dirt road. Multiple flat tires are common and cell phone service is nonexistent. Ask about current conditions before attempting the trip."
Bushwhacking is so much fun, sarcasm intended.
Cooper Creek Reservoir, Douglas County Parks, Sutherlin, Oregon
+ AWESOME GOD (Worship Forever 2021) - Michael W. Smith: www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEZDuMGp3WY&list=RDsEZDuMGp3W...
+ Indian Guru Tries To Convince Gordon Ramsay To Be Vegetarian | Gordon's Great Escape (INFJ Male & ENTJ Male) (that’s some gay shit!): www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTmqHh28raI
+ Will Demps - Sensual Seduction (ENTP Male & INFJ Male [Snoop Dogg]): www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMC-1ai8-sI&list=RDLMC-1ai8-s...
[are you sure about that?]
+ my parents are broke. we barely have enough money to fill our fridge with food, but my mom thought it’d be a good idea to decorate the shit out of my room.
+ my parents are rich, we have a ton of money. my mom thinks this room could be bigger and she doesn’t think i have enough stuff in here. we need more stuff!
+ i have such a nice room, i wish we could travel more!
+ we travel a whole bunch, i still can’t stand my parents. all they do is bicker and argue. god, they need to fuck! (what if your parents aren’t actually physically, emotionally, or mentally attracted to eachother?)
+ i hate this room, i wanted the walls to stay white. why the hell did they paint it blue?
+ our housekeeper doesn’t give a shit, she wants her paycheck and leaves.
+ did the housekeeper steal my toy and give it to her kid? where did my cash go?
+ my housekeeper is like my mom (grandma). She’s always cared for me in a deep way. She’s easy to talk to and spends more time with me, than mom. Mom’s always at work, gossiping with “friends,” and busy shopping.
+ our housekeeper is sleeping with my dad. our gardener and pool boy is sleeping with mom.
+ my mom is filing for a divorce. he hits her, takes their money and gives it to others, lies to everyone that she does nothing for the family, kicks her out of the house [new pussy will take your place], doesn’t give her any credit [you don’t work], yells derogatory comments towards her, and is hypercritical. i wonder why she’d want to divorce such a fine gentleman? good thing she has a prenup!
+ why would your dad want to file for a divorce? it’s usually women who want a divorce.
+ my dad is filing for a divorce because he found a hotter, younger, thinner, lighter skinned female. they’re coworkers! they are going to run off into the sunset and live happily ever after. that’s fine, i’ll just stay here with our daughter while you make sweet love with your new partner. let’s see how long the honeymoon phase lasts? pagl. (obviously dad is horny as hell, the grass is greener on the other side, and comparison trap. my dad (ENTP African American) and step mom (ESTJ Caucasian) think they are going to be a power couple. that looks great on the outside, but it’s only a matter of time until they have an explosive fight too.)
+ imagine giving your husband 4 hours of sex one day and then 2 more hours of sex, the next day. AND he still wants new pussy. how do you keep your dick hard for that long? how does your vagina take that much dick?
+ how many dicks have you taken? have you ever taken 2 dicks at once?
+ how many vaginas have you fucked? have you ever had more than one female at a time?
+ if you’ve been married for 10 years, your marriage is considered safe. the likelihood of a divorce is reduced.
+ my parents have been married for 25 years and got a divorce.
+ all my dad does is laugh, he doesn’t take anything seriously. he’s at work again (at least the bills are paid on time).
+ did i mention as of July 3, 2025, the U.S. National Debt stands at $36.2 trillion. Not saying it’s any one persons fault. Maybe it’s time we stop blaming eachother and take a good look at ourselves. what can we do now? (make your bed or don’t)
+ i pretend to like mom’s and try to make mom’s feel important. in reality, i hate my mom and want revenge!
+ i pretend to like my dad and try to make dad’s feel important. in reality, i hate my dad and want revenge!
+ i love my mom, she’s always been there for me. she my biggest supporter. she’s kind, gentle, knows how to budget, listens well, sticks up for me, believes in me, and is very generous. is it ok to have thoughts about having sex with her? (YES!)
+ i love my dad, he’s always protected, provided, made me laugh, is detail oriented, caring, kind, respectful to all, keeps his boundaries (knows when to draw the line). is it ok to have thoughts about having sex with him? (YES!)
+ NO, you cannot date that Black, Latino, Indian, Asian, African, Middle Eastern, or White man! I rather you date women! or me, your Mom! (which makes sense because you are more compatible)
+ NO, you cannot date that Black, Latino, Indian, Asian, African, Middle Eastern, or White man! I rather you date men! or me, your Dad! (which makes sense because you are more compatible)
+ my parents are very important people. their idea of taking care of me is throwing money at my face (not literally) (i’ll later become a stripper for a couple of months, in which then cash will be thrown at my feet).
+ my parents are never satisfied. my mom thinks her next degree will make her smarter and deserving of more respect. my dad has bought more properties than we can count. he believes he will get more respect for that.
+ we have too many cars at our house. i’m not sure when my dad will be happy? the upkeep is crazy. i swear he spends more time at the car mechanic shop, than with us. you can only drive one car at a time. the other cars just sit there and start breaking down. (unless your filthy rich and can get someone to start each car and put some miles on it.)
+ i’m gay!
+ i’m straight!
+ i’m fat!
+ i’m fat and gay!
+ i’m fat and straight!
+ i’m fat, gay, and a female!
+ i’m fat, gay, and a female! i’m a CEO of my own company. (no you cannot touch my tits, ass, or thighs) (who does he or she think he or she is?)
+ i’m a male CEO, show some respect. (no you cannot touch my tits, ass, or thighs) (who does he or she think he or she is?)
+ i hate that everyone calls me gay, i’m not fucking gay. shut the fuck up all of you!
+ i hate that everyone calls me straight, i’m not fucking straight. shut the fuck up all of you!
+ just because my parents are in a heterosexual marriage and have kids, doesn’t mean they’re straight.
+ just because my parents are in a homosexual marriage and have kids, doesn’t mean they’re gay. one of my dad’s needs better insurance and is going through some financial difficulties right now.
+ my parents tell me i’m fat every fucking day, i’m going to eat a damn cheeseburger right now. wanna come?
+ my parents tell me i’m fat every fucking day, i’m going to go on a diet. i may even throw up on purpose to loose weight faster. (the acid will come up and burn your esophageal lining, it’s a good idea not to do that) (says the person who watches porn) (you are beautiful, beauty comes from within. but i can’t convince you of that, you have to believe in yourself. You are worthy of love and positive attention. that love doesn’t necessarily come from another human being, because we are all flawed. what you love about someone one day, may be the very thing you can’t stand the next. no one person can COMPLETE you. you are already complete, someone can walk beside you and compliment you.)
+ my parents tell me i’m a slut every fucking day, i’ll eat that burger with you fatty, then i gotta go. i have an appointment with a dick and/or vagina that needs sucking and fucking.
+ um, i’m married now. i don’t do that shit anymore. i found JESUS and i’m a changed person God damn it! i don’t even know why i need to convince you of anything, y’all are stupid as fuck 😂. i don’t care about what you think of me. does this dress make me look fat?
+ my mom is broke and has no class.
+ my mom is broke but willing and ready to learn. she wants to learn manners, become more cultured, educated, understanding, kind, is curious, questions everything (starting with herself). she’s still a whore! (i USED to be a whore God damn it!) (fine, if you’re going to call me a whore at least call me a GOOD FOR NOTHING FAT WHORE)
+ did i tell you i was a big time whore but then found Jesus and now i’m straight! Jesus healed me! my family was broke for awhile but then we worked our asses off and saved money. we have no debt! [we didn’t need Dave Ramsey, we’re just Chinese like that] [side note: not all Chinese people know how to save money]. we’re not as broke as we used to be. but it depends who asks. we don’t give handouts! (unless you are a NEW PUSSY, then maybe my husband will fuck you) (i’ll be filing for a divorce in a few years).
+ my mom is broke but willing and ready to learn. she wants to learn manners, become more cultured, educated, understanding, kind, is curious, questions everything (starting with herself). she’s still acts like a NUN! (look, i wear designer name brand dresses ok!) (fine, i’ve only had one partner my whole life, sue me!) (maybe 2 partners?, don’t tell your husband. he may get pissed that you weren’t a virgin when he fucked you on your marriage night.)
+ my mom is an attention whore. if anything is remotely about her, she freaks out. she thinks she is the center of the universe.
+ my dad is always showing off. he’s insecure as fuck. he thinks because everyone claps for him, they are truly on his side. as soon as he can’t perform anymore, watch how many of his “fans” head for the hills. (fine, i guess we’ll never do anything significant. we’ll all just sit on our asses and watch TV all fucking day! [it’s called YouTube now]) (make me a sandwich bitch, bring me a beer, clean the house, why are you so damn slow?, am i getting some tonight or not?, have you cooked anything yet?)
+ my mom thinks being a dentist is the most important thing in life. we’re all secondary to her career. what will she do once she realizes her patients aren’t her friends? it’s a good thing she’s broke and homeless. did i mention she’s a bus driver now? [no gift card for you, my husband gave them all away to his mistresses].
+ my mom thinks all that matters is turning me into a MOM. i don’t want to get married and have kids. why the hell would i want to cook, clean, do laundry, talk to a dog all day [my dad], my mom is loud as hell and talks so much, all she does is gossip and give money to her family members when we barely have anything. she’s busy impressing the family and has high expectations of her children, while not doing a whole lot herself constructively as a Mom. Which then makes me not really appreciate motherhood. Growing up with my family was stressful as hell, there was never any peace. i still listened to my parents; got married and had kids. i like 2 of them (INTP girl [DDS] and INTP boy), but the FAT one can go to hell (she’s useless, talks a lot of nonsense, and i’m still wondering if she’s a DENTIST yet!).
+ my mom is a dentist and i work for her as a dental assistant. she says we don’t have enough money already [it’s never enough for her]. she encouraged me to go massage other dentists during my lunch breaks (she has a list of favorites). she knows dentists are very tired physically and says i’m still young and have plenty of energy [mei mei gives a hell of a massage, she’s got good hands!]. they give me cash for my services. [my dad yelled at her once he found out what she told me to do] [note: my mom is a good dentist but not the brightest in other areas of life].
+ we have a ton of money, big houses, nice cars, clothes, can get whatever the fuck we want to eat, can go on fancy vacations, have a ton of friends (we’re super POPULAR!), and i’m still stressed out. there is no peace or harmony here.
+ my name Jaslin Tsai and i very gentle and kind. i have size 4 waistline, nice hair, cute face, skin as white as snow, and I’m a virgin [at least my future husband will think so]. i vegetarian. i never scream, yell, or shout. i am perfect match for Bronson O. Johnson (African American ENTP). did i mention i come from Taiwan. i will make good wife for him, i am very submissive. (when reality hits and she’s a BIIIIIIITTTTTTTCCCCCHHHHHHHHHH) (my mother-in-law never really liked or accepted me)
+ my parents claim they don’t argue about anything, i would beg to defer. the house is a mess (literally and figuratively).
+ my mom is rich and still has no class. she’s ghetto as fuck! (that goes for Black and White people)
+ my mom is so dramatic and hypersensitive.
+ my mom hasn’t read a book in years, she’s stupid as fuck. (watch your mouth, young lady!)
+ my dad takes things too seriously, he’s such a clean freak. (he’s neat and organized)
+ my dad’s piss drunk right now, vomiting in the bathroom. i gotta go.
+ y’all have a dad? where can i get one of those? do they sell that at Target or Walmart?
+ my dad died, when i was 19 years old. my whole life changed. i’ve learned and grown a lot since then.
+ my dad passed away when i was a baby (INTJ). i wish i got to spend some time with him. i don’t have any memories with him. My mom raised my sister (INTP) and i for as long as possible. We’re Asian and our mom remarried a Caucasian man. he helped raise us.
+ i have a dad, but we’re still waiting on the DNA test results to see if he’s really my biological dad. my mom’s kinda a whore.
+ my dad is a male gigolo.
+ my mom is a stripper. she’s the bread earner of the house.
+ i’m being raised by a single mom.
+ i’m being raised by a single dad.
+ i have this room and i’m still wheelchair bound.
+ i have this room and i still have autism.
+ i have this room and i still have down syndrome.
+ i have this room and i still have MS.
+ i have this room and i’m still STUPID.
+ i have this room and i’m still USELESS.
+ i have this room and i still want pussy.
+ i have this room and i still want dick.
+ i have this room and i still want dick and pussy.
+ my mom's a perfectionist. our home is like a monastery/hotel. i hate and like that.
+ my dad's a perfectionist. our home is like a monastery/hotel. i hate and like that.
+ my mom's so messy. our home is disorganized. i hate and like that.
+ my dad's so messy. our home is disorganized. i hate and like that.
+ i have this room and did i ever tell you i watched a video of a dog fucking a woman! i also saw a video of a man fucking a female dog! WOW!
+ my parents gave all our money to the church, now we’re broke as fuck. they are big show offs. the church is still ungrateful. no matter how much we gave, they were never satisfied (discontentment). if we gave a little (members of the church would make fun of us for being cheap and poor). if we gave a lot (members of the church would make fun us for being show offs and acting too proud).
+ my parents are pastors, not sure why we need all these bells and whistles. in fact, they have multiple churches. it’s too much in my opinion. they never have any time for me and their relationship is like a business. it’s annoying watching all the women [men too] flirt with my dad (they are all OBSESSED with him). guys [girls too] flirt with my mom and it’s annoying. i do get a ton of cash, stuff, delicious food, vacations, a good insurance plan, car, a paid off house, etc. there’s always something to be grateful for.
+ my friends are always comparing themselves to me and jealous of what i have. if i give them a little, they are ungrateful. if i give them a lot, they are still ungrateful (they want MORE because according to them, they DESERVE what’s mine).
+ i don’t know why anyone would like a fat, stupid, broke, chink bitch? she’s a HOUSEWIFE for Christ sakes!
+ i like sharing, it makes me feel good inside. i’m grateful for what God has given me and i try my best to be a good steward of that. i know we are all interconnected. i do what i can, when i can, if i can. no pressure.
+ my parents gave a bunch of money to nonprofit organizations, i’m not sure what they did with the money. did it even go to the orphans and hungry kids?
+ my parents are Asian and they are racist.
+ my parents are Black and they are racist.
+ my parents are White and they are racist.
+ my parents are European and they are racist. Europeans were slaves to other Europeans, too.
+ my parents are Latino and they are racist.
+ my parents are Indian and they are racist.
+ my parents are African and they are racist.
+ my parents are Indian and are racist towards other Indians.
+ my parents are Chinese and they are racist towards other Asians. there is a hierarchy of Asians [Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Thai, Indonesian, Malaysian, Vietnamese, Filipino, Cambodian, etc.]
+ my dad won’t let me date a Japanese man, but he loves Japanese women. how is that fair? (your dad wants to secretly marry you, lock you in the basement, and never let you see the light of day).
+ i have this room and my Aunt is still jealous as fuck of me. My Uncle got her from the village of [fill in the blank]. She thinks i have it all. She calls me spoiled all the time. Gossips about me, which is annoying as fuck. Then expects us to take her out to eat and buy her shit. Which my parents will do, because they are people pleasers.
+ i’m emo, leave me the fuck alone. i hate all of you. i don’t even want to talk to you right now. the only reason why you’re here is because my parents are paying you to psychoanalyze me. (we’re all crazy and your parents need psychoanalysis too. it’s easier for them to blame a child. they rather throw their kids under a bus, than to grow up themselves and take responsibly for their own actions.) (i’m still glad you’re here, since your parents are forcing you to be here. let’s make the most of this time.)
+ my dad comes into my room at night and touches me inappropriately.
+ my mom comes into my room at night and touches me inappropriately.
+ my dad and mom come into my room at different times and touch me inappropriately.
+ my dad used to rape me and rate my performance. he logged it into a book. he also filmed me. later, we found out he raped my cousins too (girl and boy). is it wrong to be turned on by that? when my husband and i have sex, i think of my dad.
+ my mom filed for a divorce and then my dad lost his mind. my parents are both completely nuts. he’s worked his whole life as a doctor (he’s a good provider. but i don’t feel physically safe with him because he broke my trust, he’s a liar and a cheat). my mom is very important; she’s the leader of the mom’s group in our neighborhood, volunteers a lot at our school, and has the nicest outfits. we have a huge house and nice cars. they fight every day and are so loud. it can get violent.
+ when my dad has sex with my mom, he’s thinking about his student (daughter, little sister, and best friend).
+ when my mom has sex with her husband, she’s thinking about her Professor (i’m also a doctor) (they may or may not have had sex when she was 18 in Toronto (Older Caucasian Professor and European Caucasian Student), at Marymount University [Older Caucasian Sociology Professor], and at New York University [Older Caucasian Public Speaking Professor]) (she’s got daddy issues).
+ i’m scared of the dark, so i sleep with my dad. sometimes i feel his hard dick rub against my arm. he enjoys cuddling with me (i’m in 8th grade and yes, i still sleep with my dad).
+ my mom gets annoyed if i ask her where she got the candles from (she cares deeply for me) (my daughter is very ungrateful, angry, jealous, has a potty mouth, listens to bad music, and is a BIG FAT SLUT!).
+ my mom acts like a dude, she gets offended if i say that to her (she’s hypersensitive, with a touch of OCD.) (my mom won’t even let me say the word “freaking!” it resembles the word FUCKING! something she does not do with my dad).
+ there are women in other countries who don’t have access to clean water (they have to walk for miles to a well and then carry a bucket of water back to their village [while carrying a child]). my mom just threw a fit about the brand of water dad purchased. she doesn’t like Dasani, she wants FIJI!
+ my dad and mom are first cousins. we like to keep it in the family! that’s why my brother (he’s a dentist, graduated from NYUCD) and i don’t want to have children. we are Chinese and our partners are Caucasian.
+ my dad has a gambling problem, he gambled away thousands of dollars at the casino.
+ my mom has a gambling problem, she gambled away thousands of dollars at the casino.
+ hi, i’m a caucasian female and i’d like to say “please show some respect to your elders.”
+ our house is paid off and we have a couple of properties.
+ our house is paid off and we have a couple of properties. please don’t tell anyone, people out here only like you if they think you have shit. (funny thing about that is, whether you have money or not, people are still people and will be unhappy pieces of shit for all the days of their life.) (you told me to be vulnerable, is this vulnerable enough!)
+ we are renting this house. we may move into a smaller or even larger home, who knows?
+ we can’t afford this house, our family is so deep in debt but my mom doesn’t want to let go of a fantasy she has in her mind. she’s always comparing herself to others.
+ my mom thinks the louder she speaks, it will make a point and confirm her existence.
+ my mom speaks loudly and badly because her mom was quieter and never spoke up.
+ my mom doesn’t say much and is quieter, because every time she said anything, it was considered inappropriate or unnecessary.
+ my mom thinks taking a vow of silence (giving dad the silent treatment) will make a point and confirm her existence.
+ my mom has tiny breasts and i’ve always liked laying on her chest.
+ my mom has huge breasts and i’ve always liked laying on her chest.
+ my mom is gentle and kind. i’m into that kinda shit.
+ i’m not going to compliment my daughter or say anything positive to her because then she’ll get a big head. i rather her have low self esteem or none at all so she can live with mommy all the days of her life. she’s my kutta!
+ my parents have explosive fights. They throw lamps at eachother. My dad held a gun to my grandpa’s head (for simply existing) [INFP grandpa raised a daughter who will become “something” and pay all the families bills. he couldn’t make enough money to sustain the family. grandma likes things and wants to give money to her family members, to impress them.] [note: a word to the wise, make sure your finances are squared away before helping others. no matter how much you give to certain family members or friends, it will never be enough. they will always want more and demand it!]
+ my daughter is seeing a Physiologist right now (she’s very sick). Anyways, i want her to become a Lawyer and get married, and have babies for me. Then I will show her more respect, kindness, listen, be more attentive (talk less), genuinely care, take her feelings seriously, not scream so loudly, not pick at her flaws (do they really have to be seen as flaws?), not take myself so seriously, not be JEALOUS of my neighbor (friends and family), not gossip, and be more at peace. I will be the most important part of their lives! I will visit them all the time, call them every day, cook for them, bring them gifts, and pit the family against themselves. This will make me look like the heroine! Kim, you always look so sick and tired. We need help in the special needs department, maybe you can volunteer more (this will keep her out of trouble). i know you told me your mom is dentist (but she’s still stupid and i haven’t seen her around the house lately, it must mean she’s mad at you or you stole from her. i know you said your dad was air pilot but i don’t believe that, i bet he’s an employee at 7-11. my husband will look at you in disgust, he’s very important and busy. none of my kids want to talk to you. i know you said hi to my daughter and son, they just roll their eyes and run into the house (hoping you don’t exist), never mind you gave us a shit load of things and money.) (Brenda took a family picture for them y’all! INFP Brenda is now Sameera’s BEST FRIEND. Kim has been replaced that quickly.)
+ I’m a Veterinarian and a Mom! My husband is Caucasian and we have 4 kids. I know it all. I have two offices. I live in a BIG house in the middle of nowhere. My patient (who also looks like my cousin) (i told you i’m Vietnamese, not Korean. You look Korean, no you look Korean!) is acting very strange online (she’s posting www.desiringgod.org quotes). That’s freaking my biological family members out, I’m going to look at my patient like she’s bat shit crazy and doubt every word she says. I’m glad she pays all her bills in a timely manner. There are other careers out there, like Dentistry!
+ hi, I’m Dr. Maryann Kan FAGD MAGD, i too have 2 clinics. we don’t live in a large house, but we own a few properties. my husband is dead now (i didn’t really pay any attention to him while he was alive, VERY BUSY! GOTTA GO! ER’S! but now that’s he’s dead i’m at his grave site every weekend. my daughter is stupid, she never visits his grave. she doesn’t care about her dad or I.)
+ i think everyones doing the best they can. try not to compare yourself to others (even though your parents are). focus on what you can do. no matter how small that action may seem. making your bed and organizing your room is important. reducing the amount of clutter in your room is a helpful start. by clearing up your space, you can slowly start to clear the clutter in your mind. start with YOUR room first. don’t touch anyone else’s room, unless they have given you access.
+ hi!
+ my parents are super easy going, they laugh at everything. life is a complete joke to them.
+ oh look, the dooms day crew is here!
+ my parents are too serious. they are always stressed and angry.
+ my mom is skinny, she works out so much. her diet is incredibly healthy. she still doesn’t think she’s pretty. i think she’s beautiful. but i can’t convince her of that. i hope one day she realizes that YES, your physical appearance is important. but your spirit is just as important. (i bet you her mom said a bunch of shit to her as a kid. maybe her mom passed away when she was young or her mom was alive physically but dead spiritually. your mom did her best, she could only help you as much as she understood herself.)
+ my mom is skinny, she eats a balanced diet. she has a healthy love for herself. she enjoys her own company and doesn’t have very high expectations. she observes negative self talk. she accepts that it’s ok to sit with your sad, mad, frustrated, scared, horny feelings. you don’t need to judge these feelings, just allow them to be. sitting with your feelings is ok. it gives you time to heal. you will not continue with the same feeling all the time, humans go through ups, downs, and in between. the problem lies, when we don’t allow ourselves enough time to process our emotions. we start purchasing stuff left and right, watching porn, sleeping with random people, overeating, gossiping to feel better about ourselves, work ourselves silly, the next vacation will complete me, the next Yelp review will fulfill me, the next partner will be my heaven, etc.
+ my mom is fat, she never works out. her diet is horrible. she’s miserable. always sad, cries a lot. hypersensitive, i say one damn thing and she flips out. meanwhile, she talks so much shit and it’s ok for her to do so in her book because she’s the ADULT (if she’s feeding you, clothing you, and has put a roof over your head; i’d keep my mouth shut till you can do so on your own). she’s always wanting stuff from others. thinks those who have money should give her what’s theirs. doesn’t know how to organize her time wisely, she’s always late. the house is a mess. it’s disorganized and smells. she has no idea how to budget. as soon as she gets any money, she spends it and then some. the grass is greener on the other side and she wants what others have without thinking about how they got it. all she does is want want want, WITHOUT giving giving giving! she’s jealous and angry.
+ my mom doesn’t like it when i talk, she doesn’t like that i have a voice. (why don’t you be a good girl, sit at home, study, and BE QUIET!)
+ my mom says i don’t talk enough, she forces me to talk to everyone. ugh! (you should have MORE friends hunny)
+ my mom is good enough, but she doesn’t think so. she’s still trying to prove her existence at this very moment. (um, it’s called CREATIVE WRITING)
+ my mom doesn’t like to be questioned, she gets offended easily. (um, yes and no. you have the right to ask questions, it’s a free country. but also your questions are a bit offensive, off putting, and RUDE) (no wonder you don’t have any friends.)
+ my mom rather be alone and lonely, than lonely with someone. don’t you hate it when you’re at a party and there’s a ton of people around you, yet you still feel so alone. like nobody will ever fully understand you. (me too!)
+ my dad is angry. his dad never showed him how to express his emotions in a positive way. it’s ok to be angry, we all get angry. it’s an emotion, and all humans go through a list of different emotions (we are not robots). if someone hits (picks) on you, it’s normal to feel angry. if someone steals from you, it’s normal to feel angry. if someone betrays your trust, it’s normal to feel angry. if someone comes at you with anger, you can accept their feeling. you don’t have to change them, you do not control others. you do have control over yourself and may respond with kindness and gentleness. sometimes, that doesn’t work, in which you may have to respond anger with anger. you can also balance kindness, gentleness, and being stern at the same time. behind anger is sadness, hurt, and pain. when people do negative and hurtful things, it’s not so much you. they are battling themselves (battlefield of the mind).
+ my mom is moody. her feelings are all over the place. she has no idea how to manage her emotions and self soothe. she’s always waiting for someone else to “save her.” Super Man will come and save her day! i’m a kid, apparently it’s my job to make her happy and elevate her mood. (we are all responsible for our own happiness) (you cannot control anyone, it’s tough enough to control yourself).
+ my mom did everything she could to fight for her relationship with her husband. she tried being a good wife and mom. they dated for many years before they got married. once they were married and had 4 kids, my dad got bored. he wanted her to be the same person she was back in the day. his idea of helping the family was to bring a bunch of 25 year olds to the house and let them dictate orders to my mom. he also messed around with a bunch of females in our neighborhood, including our 4th house neighbor. he gave them gift cards, cash, “free” food, and gifts. when they demanded more, he listened and gave it to them. thinking more with his penis. did i mention he is proud and has a heightened sense of self?
+ my mom demands i take her out to eat. when i do, she later complains she’s gained too much weight from eating out. then demands i cook her a home cooked meal. in which then she complains again, that she got diarrhea from my cooking. (that’s a lawsuit waiting to happen).
+ my mom demands i take her out to eat, then says she’ll get the check the next time around. 6 meals later, i’ve been paying for it all. next time never came around.
+ my mom is lonely as fuck (daddy and mommy issues), she wants company. so she eats out with her friends for comfort and pays for their meals. even after spending time with her friends, she still feels lonely. the lunch turns into a therapy session. she feels completely, emotionally drained by the end of the meal. (so you gave your friends a free meal and free therapy?)
+ when my mom and dad have sex, she thinks about all the different guys that fucked her before she got married. that can’t be easy for my dad. he also knew she was a whore before they got married. they broke up 100 times, while dating. she encouraged him to leave her alone and to date other women. he continued pursuing the relationship anyways. they have a love and hate relationship. [It’s Year 2022, they are married and a bunch of thirsty bitches are showing up at our door. my dad decided to do everything they said. our switches, gift cards, cash, and toys went missing. he continued blaming mom for everything that was wrong in their relationship. saying things like “she has Alzheimer's and needs a brain scan.” claiming it’s his house and she should get the fuck out (you may want to check the records before assuming anything). Mom wanted to get The Ring Security System installed, but Dad was unhappy about that (YES, we have it in our budget to get The Ring Security System). There was a huge fight about that too].
+ hi, I'm Bronson Johnson (INTP & ENTP) and I'm Kim's first African American boyfriend. I may or may not have taken Kim away from INFP Phil (and INTP Yoshi). The last time I checked, Phil liked men and Kim's trying not to suck so much pussy anymore. She's bisexual. I think I can change her mind, we'll work on it. We never had a real relationship, it was all made up. 4 kids and a dog later, i'm going to cheat on her with any of the stupid thirsty bitches out there. (this is exactly why i don't have a joint account and hide my shit all over the place) Once a nigger, always a nigger. Once a chigger, always a chigger. It's CHINK, STUPID! I used to be GAY and like men, but Kim changed me. I was her project, now I like bisexuals.
+ hi, I’m Michael P. (ENTP) and I’m Polish Canadian. I’m one of Phil’s best friends and the three of us enjoy hanging out with one another. We like exploring Toronto, Canada together. Kim is not generous at all and really doesn’t care about anyone but herself. She is very mean. [side note: i never used Kim as much as Phil did. She keeps giving and he keeps taking. I know exactly how much to take before she will start to get bitter. This is one of the reasons why she has more respect for me. ESFJ Uncle Paul can confirm that [Police Officer and Real Estate Agent] [We interrupt Kim K.’s fantasy love story with her marrying a black man and having 4 beautiful children, cute dog!] While Phil is working at the Toronto Science Center, Kim and I spend time together. We enjoy eachothers company. She likes that i’m blond, blue eyed, tall, educated (i’m a student at The University of Toronto), down to earth (my family doesn’t have as much money as hers), i pretend to care, know how to make her smile (laugh), annoy her, i’m not clingy at all, she loves that I’m gay [i’m a LESBIAN!], i’m not that religious (i ask her questions outside the Catholic Church), and i have a very small penis (wait, i thought what i saw was a vagina). Your ISFJ Popo is so cute, is she still playing Mahjong with INFP Euoween Popo? does INFP Euoween Popo still asking for handouts continuously and send you on guilt trips? Don’t forget, she made you a dish of chicken cabbage [yup, and we gave her thousands of dollars for it]. Kim K. [grandma] and I have mind blowing sex. Wait, how can we be grandparents while still being teenagers? Later, I introduce her to a friend (he’s Faculty at The University of Toronto). She’ll probably meet me a whole bunch; for the rest of her life, again and again and again.
+ hi, i'm Philip Liang (INFP) (Pakistani Chinese Canadian) and am Gavin Yeh's (Pakistani Chinese Canadian) Best Friend. Now that Gavin was stupid enough to break Kim's heart, I will take it from here. I know i'm not as good looking but can sweet talk her, make her feel sorry for me, and write poetic love letters to woo her. don't ask me for any money, my family is broke. i can tutor you in Math online. i will send you handmade pop up cards and sketch beautiful artwork as gifts. i may even send you a rock that reminds me of you. you'll then come to Toronto (empty handed, Kim never gave me a thing) where we will have our first kiss under a tree in front of Stephanie Yen's (INFP) Apartments. it was very sloppy and wet, we'll have to practice some more. i'll suck the shit out of your pussy, while also finger fucking you. could you wash your mouth and dick a bit better, it kinda smells. i think you need better soap and body wash. we'll have a long distance relationship for an unknown period of time. my dad (Robert P. Kan) and i are sharing a hotel room in Toronto, Canada. he’s attending a funeral and once he’s back we’ll be going to a wedding together (my INTJ Chinese Canadian cousin Betty is marrying an INTP Jewish man). phil and i have lunch while my dad is out, then we head to the hotel. we figured we could have sex before my dad came back to the hotel. in the middle of our sex session, my dad started opening the door (he forgot something). we were not freaking out at all. good thing i had all the locks bolted, which bought us some time and he quickly put on his clothes. he pretended he was taking a nap, because it was so hot outside. i was still naked (put a towel around me) and acted like i was about to take a shower. my dad was pissed and screamed at the both of us. he could only give us a short lecture (he had to run back to the funeral), but told us to stay at the hotel so he could finish scolding us. good thing, Phil looks like an innocent, kind, gentle, smart guy who would never have sex till marriage. we'll call eachother while I'm in New York and you in Australia. Even when you are dating your ISFJ Taiwanese girlfriend with a thin waistline (who mostly wants your nonexistent money, you're still a Dental Student) you'll ask me to marry you again and again. You tell me that you will break up with your girlfriend right now; we could get engaged and continue right where we left off. you like that i never ask you for anything and any money you do have goes straight to your dental school student loans. i'll visit you in Australia, where you'll fuck the shit out of me. our relationship was so traumatic and toxic, you now like men. i'm so glad you came out of the closet! Gay Lives Matter!
+ hi, I'm Gavin Yeh (ENFP) and could you show me a titty or something on the camera. baby, i want my name tatted on your ass. it doesn't have to be large font, it can be in small font. more cushion for the pushin'. i love rap music and playing basketball. let's have sex in the bathroom stall. i have to break up with you because i found an ISFJ Filipino Canadian chick with a thin waistline (in reality, he's always horny and i live in The States. new pussy is always better than old pussy!) My Mom, Rita Yeh [INFJ] is still wondering if we can get married because your family has money, you're a nice girl, and already part of the family. Gavin is Keenan Kan's (INFJ) first cousin. Kimberly Kan is also Keenan's first cousin, but Gavin and Kim are not cousins. Frankly, I'm tired of listening to Gavin talk about how much he loves your vagina. Kim, for the 800th time, you are not that fat and he loves your ass. [note: proceed with great caution. you will be replaced.]
+ hi, i’m Kalia Sokos and i’m a STEP MOM! When i was a student at Bishop Ireton High School, I sucked 2 Latino men’s dicks at the back of Richard Byrd Library in Springfield, VA. Now I’m married to an older man with kids and i’m rich! look at how important i am. I was super cool at BI, smoked, did horribly in school, was a cheerleader [ESFP], dated an African American basketball player [ESTP], and was a server at Milano's Family Restaurant in Springfield, VA (Kim is a horrible tipper. Um, we gave you $2,000 worth of free Dental Care). I’m Greek, blonde (she dyes her hair), light skinned, and have pretty eyes (nice eyelashes). We’re seconds away from making a porno. I’m a beautiful fucking person you dip shits. Did you guys make your beds yet? Your Dad needs to buy me more shit or else! (ESTP Mr. Sokos & ESFP Mrs. Sokos) (INFJ Harry Sokos & Maxie The Yorkie [aka Kim K.] [ran over by The Olson’s van because they let Maxie run freely around Julian Street without a leash or any supervision.) (it’s very loud at The Sokos’s house, dad is always yelling at mom, and mom yells back crying hysterically at kids and around Julian street. they burned down their kitchen because Mrs. Sokos was juggling too much at one time.) (The Kan’s have Mercedes [S500 and C320], so now we need to also get Mercedes and Jaguars. Dr. Kan can you please give us good deals on dental work and by good deals, i mean free.)
+ INTP Laura Olson [Irish American], ISFJ Kate Olson [Irish American], INFJ Sarah Olson [Irish American] [not born yet], INFJ Harry Sokos [Greek American] [Tree House Dad], Kim K. [Tree House Mom], and ESFP Kalia Sokos will just be playing house outside on the tree in front of The Kan's House in Springfield, VA (which has now been taken down). What is up with ISFJ Cathy Peed? She's 1/2 Caucasian and 1/2 Filipino. Why does she keep stealing everyones shit and then lying about it? It's gotta be a disorder or something. Hey everyone, feel bad that her mom died. Kim's just mad because we all saw INFJ Jason Scheel from Bishop Ireton High School enter The Kan's house from the backdoor. Her parents were out on vacation and they told us to watch over her and the home. He was trying to run inside quickly, but Kim didn't know we saw him. I think he was at her house to study the bible. They must have been planning on starting an online bible website.
+ WHAT!? [African American Woman at Chantilly, VA Dollar Tree] (she’s not rude at all. she’s very respectful, kind, gentle, generous, beautiful, has a lovely spirit, hard working, never gossips, doesn’t think you owe her anything, loves to share, volunteers, doesn’t ask for handouts, loves to cook, never asks you for a thing, doesn’t stare at your husbands dick, isn’t thirsty, very educated, eloquent, funny, has a great sense of humor, not sarcastic, black lives don’t matter!, nuck if you buck is not her favorite song, encouraging, optimistic, believes you are enough, loves children, doesn’t compare herself to anyone else, and believes the world is big enough for all of us to win at something).
+ hi, i’m Uncle Mark (INTP) (Pakistani Chinese American) and a Dentist. I was rude and mean to Kimberly Kan at a dinner party in Toronto, Canada [ESFJ Aunty Florence’s House]. I made fun of her for not knowing what the capital of Virginia was (it’s MIAMI right!). I spoil my daughter and son rotten and still make fun of Kim for being spoiled (she’s an only child) (#onlychildrenarepoepletoo). She was a kid. (i have no idea why this uncle is so mean and is making fun of me. i’m already overweight and the kids at St. Bernadette’s Elementary make fun of me [Isabel is a bully. i do like mixing ketchup and mayo together.] INTP Uncle Glenn is hotter! (INTJ MD Aunty's Husband) [my INTP Filipino American crush Albert Nomarosa makes fun of my weight too. He’s always been more attracted to Maggie Dressel and her blonde hair, blue-ish eyes, and thin waistline.]. Now my Uncle’s here making fun of the fact that i’m STUPID too.) (it’s ok, i look different now at Bishop Ireton High School and Albert N. and I meet again at ENTP Maggie Dressel’s House Party. Where you will gyrate on my ass in the dark to loud music. Yes, your dick is hard and you’re touching me all over the place with my clothes on. I see something over there, i gotta go. INFP Liz (Caucasian American) (Maggie’s Best Friend) will take it from here! I’m at AP Biology in Bishop Ireton High School, and now you’re an INTP Japanese American teenager. You’re going to fuck the shit out of my pussy at your Dad’s townhouse [your mom abandoned the family, your sisters in College, and your INFJ Dad is at work]. Aunty Jane (INTJ) is very important, knows it all, and won’t give her husband any pussy. Uncle Mark (INTP) is sexually frustrated and is not allowed to say a damn thing to Aunty Jane without her putting him down immediately. She’s the man of the house, which is why i need space from her. Thanks Kim for telling everyone my business. I later met an INTP Indian American man at a club in Miami, in which he gyrated all over my ass too. I don’t mind (www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbUBMklQSVU&list=RDSbUBMklQSV...). Then another INTP Haitian American man (looks more Ethiopian) at NYUCD. I don’t find him attractive at all, we never had sex, he’s stupid, has a small penis, never pissed on me, and is NOT a Dentist. www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDq3fNew1rU&list=RDtDq3fNew1r...
+ my name is Crystal (INFJ), and i hate that my mom is a psychiatrist. yes, i’m married to an INTP Jewish Man. he’s quiet and keeps to himself. all my mom fucking does is psychoanalyze my dad, brother, i, and the rest of our immediate family all day! she thinks she’s god’s gift to man because she has fancy degrees behind her name. she is well known in the Psychology department (as Uncle Peter [INFP] has repeatedly told you). i still sleep walk! she’s not as proud of you as you think, more jealous and has a need for popularity. are we going to get lunch or what? yea yea yea, we’re SPOILED! and obviously my Dad wants my pussy. It’s softer, gentler, more real, understanding, more submissive, and follow directions well. i told you i was a daddy’s girl.
+ my name is Dr. Jane Kou (INTJ) (Pakistani Chinese American) and I’m a Psychiatrist. I’m Kim K.’s Aunt. My husband, Mark and I are separated. He’s an INTP Dentist. Dr. Maryann Kan DDS FAGD MAGD (INTJ) and her husband Robert P. Kan (ESFJ) need couples therapy. I mentioned this while visiting The Kan Family in Virginia, and Maryann threw a fit. She kicked me out of the house. Robert drove me to the airport. Kim is a very nice girl, she’s always been a good daughter and does listen to her parents. Kim has SOCIAL ANXIETY! (it’s a free country, i can say that can’t i?) (when did you start liking black men? i would have picked the white guy.)
+ funded by Dr. Maryann Kan DDS FAGD MAGD (and Dr. Jordan Bernt Peterson, Clinical Psychologist) [ENTP Caucasian Male & INTJ Pakistani Chinese American Female]
+ i farted! (i can smell it from here)
Leeville, Louisiana
on Bayou LaFourche
LaFourche Parish
Some of the greatest fishing is right here.
Leeville was settled by flood victims. On October 1, 1893, a hurricane wiped out the area's main settlement, Caminadaville, which sat on a spit of land bordered on three sides by the Gulf and on the fourth by swamp. Nearly half of Caminadaville's inhabitants perished in the storm, most by drowning, some when the buildings they had taken refuge in collapsed.
Survivors sailed up the bayou in their damaged canots and began buying land from an orange-grower named Peter Lee, who was selling plots for $12.50 each. For sixteen years, they fished, planted rice, and held fais do-do dancing parties in homes with covered verandas.
Then, in 1909, the Leeville Hurricane struck. (A contemporary newspaper account described survivors of that storm subsisting on drowned rabbit.) Six years later, a third hurricane forced residents to flee north once more. According to local legend, the storm surge carried one house from Leeville nine miles inland. The owner simply bought the plot underneath it and moved back in.
In the nineteen-thirties, Leeville rebounded briefly. Oil was discovered in the area, and by the end of the decade there were ninety-eight producing wells in town. The pay was good and regulation nonexistent. Blowouts routinely rained sulfur and brine onto the houses, into the cisterns, over the trees. Tin roofs corroded and vegetable gardens shrivelled up. When the wells ran dry, oil production moved offshore and Leeville was again deserted.
There were no more jobs, and the town itself had begun to wash away. Where once men in straw hats picked oranges and harvested rice, today there is mostly open water.
from: www.accessmylibrary.com/coms2/summary_0286-15339115_ITM
+ AWESOME GOD (Worship Forever 2021) - Michael W. Smith: www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEZDuMGp3WY&list=RDsEZDuMGp3W...
+ Indian Guru Tries To Convince Gordon Ramsay To Be Vegetarian | Gordon's Great Escape (INFJ Male & ENTJ Male) (that’s some gay shit!): www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTmqHh28raI
+ Will Demps - Sensual Seduction (ENTP Male & INFJ Male [Snoop Dogg]): www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMC-1ai8-sI&list=RDLMC-1ai8-s...
[are you sure about that?]
+ my parents are broke. we barely have enough money to fill our fridge with food, but my mom thought it’d be a good idea to decorate the shit out of my room.
+ my parents are rich, we have a ton of money. my mom thinks this room could be bigger and she doesn’t think i have enough stuff in here. we need more stuff!
+ i have such a nice room, i wish we could travel more!
+ we travel a whole bunch, i still can’t stand my parents. all they do is bicker and argue. god, they need to fuck! (what if your parents aren’t actually physically, emotionally, or mentally attracted to eachother?)
+ i hate this room, i wanted the walls to stay white. why the hell did they paint it blue?
+ our housekeeper doesn’t give a shit, she wants her paycheck and leaves.
+ did the housekeeper steal my toy and give it to her kid? where did my cash go?
+ my housekeeper is like my mom (grandma). She’s always cared for me in a deep way. She’s easy to talk to and spends more time with me, than mom. Mom’s always at work, gossiping with “friends,” and busy shopping.
+ our housekeeper is sleeping with my dad. our gardener and pool boy is sleeping with mom.
+ my mom is filing for a divorce. he hits her, takes their money and gives it to others, lies to everyone that she does nothing for the family, kicks her out of the house [new pussy will take your place], doesn’t give her any credit [you don’t work], yells derogatory comments towards her, and is hypercritical. i wonder why she’d want to divorce such a fine gentleman? good thing she has a prenup!
+ why would your dad want to file for a divorce? it’s usually women who want a divorce.
+ my dad is filing for a divorce because he found a hotter, younger, thinner, lighter skinned female. they’re coworkers! they are going to run off into the sunset and live happily ever after. that’s fine, i’ll just stay here with our daughter while you make sweet love with your new partner. let’s see how long the honeymoon phase lasts? pagl. (obviously dad is horny as hell, the grass is greener on the other side, and comparison trap. my dad (ENTP African American) and step mom (ESTJ Caucasian) thinks they are going to be a power couple. that looks great on the outside, but it’s only a matter of time until they have an explosive fight too.)
+ imagine giving your husband 4 hours of sex one day and the next day another 2 hours, AND he still wants new pussy. how do you keep your dick hard for that long? how does your vagina take that much dick?
+ how many dicks have you taken? have you ever taken 2 dicks at once?
+ how many vaginas have you fucked? have you ever had more than one female at a time.
+ if you’ve been married for 10 years, your marriage is considered safe. the likelihood of a divorce is reduced.
+ my parents have been married for 25 years and got a divorce.
+ all my dad does is laugh, he doesn’t take anything seriously. he’s at work again (at least the bills are paid on time).
+ did i mention as of July 3, 2025, the U.S. National Debt stands at $36.2 trillion. Not saying it’s any one persons fault. Maybe it’s time we stop blaming eachother and take a good look at ourselves. what can we do now? (make your bed or don’t)
+ i pretend to like mom’s and try to make mom’s feel important. in reality, i hate my mom and want revenge!
+ i pretend to like my dad and try to make dad’s feel important. in reality, i hate my dad and want revenge!
+ i love my mom, she’s always been there for me. she my biggest supporter. she’s kind, gentle, knows how to budget, listens well, sticks up for me, believes in me, and is very generous. is it ok to have thoughts about having sex with her? (YES!)
+ i love my dad, he’s always protected, provided, made me laugh, is detail oriented, caring, kind, respectful to all, keeps his boundaries (knows when to draw the line). is it ok to have thoughts about having sex with him? (YES!)
+ NO, you cannot date that Black, Latino, Indian, Asian, African, Middle Eastern, or White man! I rather you date women! or me, your Mom! (which makes sense because you are more compatible)
+ NO, you cannot date that Black, Latino, Indian, Asian, African, Middle Eastern, or White man! I rather you date men! or me, your Dad! (which makes sense because you are more compatible)
+ my parents are very important people. their idea of taking care of me is throwing money at my face (not literally) (i’ll later become a stripper for a couple of months, in which then cash will be thrown at my feet).
+ my parents are never satisfied. my mom thinks her next degree will make her smarter and deserving of more respect. my dad has bought more properties than we can count. he believes he will get more respect for that.
+ we have too many cars at our house. i’m not sure when my dad will be happy? the upkeep is crazy. i swear he spends more time at the car mechanic shop, than with us. you can only drive one car at a time. the other cars just sit there and start breaking down. (unless your filthy rich and can get someone to start each car and put some miles on it.)
+ i’m gay!
+ i’m straight!
+ i’m fat!
+ i’m fat and gay!
+ i’m fat and straight!
+ i’m fat, gay, and a female!
+ i’m fat, gay, and a female! i’m a CEO of my own company. (no you cannot touch my tits, ass, or thighs) (who does he or she think he or she is?)
+ i’m a male CEO, show some respect. (no you cannot touch my tits, ass, or thighs) (who does he or she think he or she is?)
+ i hate that everyone calls me gay, i’m not fucking gay. shut the fuck up all of you!
+ i hate that everyone calls me straight, i’m not fucking straight. shut the fuck up all of you!
+ just because my parents are in a heterosexual marriage and have kids, doesn’t mean they’re straight.
+ just because my parents are in a homosexual marriage and have kids, doesn’t mean they’re gay. one of my dad’s needs better insurance and is going through some financial difficulties right now.
+ my parents tell me i’m fat every fucking day, i’m going to eat a damn cheeseburger right now. wanna come?
+ my parents tell me i’m fat every fucking day, i’m going to go on a diet. i may even throw up on purpose to loose weight faster. (the acid will come up and burn your esophageal lining, it’s a good idea not to do that) (says the person who watches porn) (you are beautiful, beauty comes from within. but i can’t convince you of that, you have to believe in yourself. You are worthy of love and positive attention. that love doesn’t necessarily come from another human being, because we are all flawed. what you love about someone one day, may be the very thing you can’t stand the next. no one person can COMPLETE you. you are already complete, someone can walk beside you and compliment you.)
+ my parents tell me i’m a slut every fucking day, i’ll eat that burger with you fatty, then i gotta go. i have an appointment with a dick and/or vagina that needs sucking and fucking.
+ um, i’m married now. i don’t do that shit anymore. i found JESUS and i’m a changed person God damn it! i don’t even know why i need to convince you of anything, y’all are stupid as fuck 😂. i don’t care about what you think of me. does this dress make me look fat?
+ my mom is broke and has no class.
+ my mom is broke but willing and ready to learn. she wants to learn manners, become more cultured, educated, understanding, kind, is curious, questions everything (starting with herself). she’s still a whore! (i USED to be a whore God damn it!) (fine, if you’re going to call me a whore at least call me a GOOD FOR NOTHING FAT WHORE)
+ did i tell you i was a big time whore but then found Jesus and now i’m straight! Jesus healed me! my family was broke for awhile but then we worked our asses off and saved money. we have no debt! [we didn’t need Dave Ramsey, we’re just Chinese like that] [side note: not all Chinese people know how to save money]. we’re not as broke as we used to be. but it depends who asks. we don’t give handouts! (unless you are a NEW PUSSY, then maybe my husband will fuck you) (i’ll be filing for a divorce in a few years).
+ my mom is broke but willing and ready to learn. she wants to learn manners, become more cultured, educated, understanding, kind, is curious, questions everything (starting with herself). she’s still acts like a NUN! (look, i wear designer name brand dresses ok!) (fine, i’ve only had one partner my whole life, sue me!) (maybe 2 partners?, don’t tell your husband. he may get pissed that you weren’t a virgin when he fucked you on your marriage night.)
+ my mom is an attention whore. if anything is remotely about her, she freaks out. she thinks she is the center of the universe.
+ my dad is always showing off. he’s insecure as fuck. he thinks because everyone claps for him, they are truly on his side. as soon as he can’t perform anymore, watch how many of his “fans” head for the hills. (fine, i guess we’ll never do anything significant. we’ll all just sit on our asses and watch TV all fucking day! [it’s called YouTube now]) (make me a sandwich bitch, bring me a beer, clean the house, why are you so damn slow?, am i getting some tonight or not?, have you cooked anything yet?)
+ my mom thinks being a dentist is the most important thing in life. we’re all secondary to her career. what will she do once she realizes her patients aren’t her friends? it’s a good thing she’s broke and homeless. did i mention she’s a bus driver now? [no gift card for you, my husband gave them all away to his mistresses].
+ my mom thinks all that matters is turning me into a MOM. i don’t want to get married and have kids. why the hell would i want to cook, clean, do laundry, talk to a dog all day [my dad], my mom is loud as hell and talks so much, all she does is gossip and give money to her family members when we barely have anything. she’s busy impressing the family and has high expectations of her children, while not doing a whole lot herself constructively as a Mom. Which then makes me not really appreciate motherhood. Growing up with my family was stressful as hell, there was never any peace. i still listened to my parents; got married and had kids. i like 2 of them (INTP girl [DDS] and INTP boy), but the FAT one can go to hell (she’s useless, talks a lot of nonsense, and i’m still wondering if she’s a DENTIST yet!).
+ my mom is a dentist and i work for her as a dental assistant. she says we don’t have enough money already [it’s never enough for her]. she encouraged me to go massage other dentists during my lunch breaks (she has a list of favorites). she knows dentists are very tired physically and says i’m still young and have plenty of energy [mei mei gives a hell of a massage, she’s got good hands!]. they give me cash for my services. [my dad yelled at her once he found out what she told me to do] [note: my mom is a good dentist but not the brightest in other areas of life].
+ we have a ton of money, big houses, nice cars, clothes, can get whatever the fuck we want to eat, can go on fancy vacations, have a ton of friends (we’re super POPULAR!), and i’m still stressed out. there is no peace or harmony here.
+ my name Jaslin Tsai and i very gentle and kind. i have size 4 waistline, nice hair, cute face, skin as white as snow, and I’m a virgin [at least my future husband will think so]. i vegetarian. i never scream, yell, or shout. i am perfect match for Bronson O. Johnson (African American ENTP). did i mention i come from Taiwan. i will make good wife for him, i am very submissive. (when reality hits and she’s a BIIIIIIITTTTTTTCCCCCHHHHHHHHHH) (my mother-in-law never really liked or accepted me)
+ my parents claim they don’t argue about anything, i would beg to defer. the house is a mess (literally and figuratively).
+ my mom is rich and still has no class. she’s ghetto as fuck! (that goes for Black and White people)
+ my mom is so dramatic and hypersensitive.
+ my mom hasn’t read a book in years, she’s stupid as fuck. (watch your mouth, young lady!)
+ my dad takes things too seriously, he’s such a clean freak. (he’s neat and organized)
+ my dad’s piss drunk right now, vomiting in the bathroom. i gotta go.
+ y’all have a dad? where can i get one of those? do they sell that at Target or Walmart?
+ my dad died, when i was 19 years old. my whole life changed. i’ve learned and grown a lot since then.
+ my dad passed away when i was a baby (INTJ). i wish i got to spend some time with him. i don’t have any memories with him. My mom raised my sister (INTP) and i for as long as possible. We’re Asian and our mom remarried a Caucasian man. he helped raise us.
+ i have a dad, but we’re still waiting on the DNA test results to see if he’s really my biological dad. my mom’s kinda a whore.
+ my dad is a male gigolo.
+ my mom is a stripper. she’s the bread earner of the house.
+ i’m being raised by a single mom.
+ i’m being raised by a single dad.
+ i have this room and i’m still wheelchair bound.
+ i have this room and i still have autism.
+ i have this room and i still have down syndrome.
+ i have this room and i still have MS.
+ i have this room and i’m still STUPID.
+ i have this room and i’m still USELESS.
+ i have this room and i still want pussy.
+ i have this room and i still want dick.
+ i have this room and i still want dick and pussy.
+ my mom's a perfectionist. our home is like a monastery/hotel. i hate and like that.
+ my dad's a perfectionist. our home is like a monastery/hotel. i hate and like that.
+ my mom's so messy. our home is disorganized. i hate and like that.
+ my dad's so messy. our home is disorganized. i hate and like that.
+ i have this room and did i ever tell you i watched a video of a dog fucking a woman! i also saw a video of a man fucking a female dog! WOW!
+ my parents gave all our money to the church, now we’re broke as fuck. they are big show offs. the church is still ungrateful. no matter how much we gave, they were never satisfied (discontentment). if we gave a little (members of the church would make fun of us for being cheap and poor). if we gave a lot (members of the church would make fun us for being show offs and acting too proud).
+ my parents are pastors, not sure why we need all these bells and whistles. in fact, they have multiple churches. it’s too much in my opinion. they never have any time for me and their relationship is like a business. it’s annoying watching all the women [men too] flirt with my dad (they are all OBSESSED with him). guys [girls too] flirt with my mom and it’s annoying. i do get a ton of cash, stuff, delicious food, vacations, a good insurance plan, car, a paid off house, etc. there’s always something to be grateful for.
+ my friends are always comparing themselves to me and jealous of what i have. if i give them a little, they are ungrateful. if i give them a lot, they are still ungrateful (they want MORE because according to them, they DESERVE what’s mine).
+ i don’t know why anyone would like a fat, stupid, broke, chink bitch? she’s a HOUSEWIFE for Christ sakes!
+ i like sharing, it makes me feel good inside. i’m grateful for what God has given me and i try my best to be a good steward of that. i know we are all interconnected. i do what i can, when i can, if i can. no pressure.
+ my parents gave a bunch of money to nonprofit organizations, i’m not sure what they did with the money. did it even go to the orphans and hungry kids?
+ my parents are Asian and they are racist.
+ my parents are Black and they are racist.
+ my parents are White and they are racist.
+ my parents are European and they are racist. Europeans were slaves to other Europeans, too.
+ my parents are Latino and they are racist.
+ my parents are Indian and they are racist.
+ my parents are African and they are racist.
+ my parents are Indian and are racist towards other Indians.
+ my parents are Chinese and they are racist towards other Asians. there is a hierarchy of Asians [Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Thai, Indonesian, Malaysian, Vietnamese, Filipino, Cambodian, etc.]
+ my dad won’t let me date a Japanese man, but he loves Japanese women. how is that fair? (your dad wants to secretly marry you, lock you in the basement, and never let you see the light of day).
+ i have this room and my Aunt is still jealous as fuck of me. My Uncle got her from the village of [fill in the blank]. She thinks i have it all. She calls me spoiled all the time. Gossips about me, which is annoying as fuck. Then expects us to take her out to eat and buy her shit. Which my parents will do, because they are people pleasers.
+ i’m emo, leave me the fuck alone. i hate all of you. i don’t even want to talk to you right now. the only reason why you’re here is because my parents are paying you to psychoanalyze me. (we’re all crazy and your parents need psychoanalysis too. it’s easier for them to blame a child. they rather throw their kids under a bus, than to grow up themselves and take responsibly for their own actions.) (i’m still glad you’re here, since your parents are forcing you to be here. let’s make the most of this time.)
+ my dad comes into my room at night and touches me inappropriately.
+ my mom comes into my room at night and touches me inappropriately.
+ my dad and mom come into my room at different times and touch me inappropriately.
+ my dad used to rape me and rate my performance. he logged it into a book. he also filmed me. later, we found out he raped my cousins too (girl and boy). is it wrong to be turned on by that? when my husband and i have sex, i think of my dad.
+ my mom filed for a divorce and then my dad lost his mind. my parents are both completely nuts. he’s worked his whole life as a doctor (he’s a good provider. but i don’t feel physically safe with him because he broke my trust, he’s a liar and a cheat). my mom is very important; she’s the leader of the mom’s group in our neighborhood, volunteers a lot at our school, and has the nicest outfits. we have a huge house and nice cars. they fight every day and are so loud. it can get violent.
+ when my dad has sex with my mom, he’s thinking about his student (daughter, little sister, and best friend).
+ when my mom has sex with her husband, she’s thinking about her Professor (i’m also a doctor) (they may or may not have had sex when she was 18 in Toronto (Older Caucasian Professor and European Caucasian Student), at Marymount University [Older Caucasian Sociology Professor], and at New York University [Older Caucasian Public Speaking Professor]) (she’s got daddy issues).
+ i’m scared of the dark, so i sleep with my dad. sometimes i feel his hard dick rub against my arm. he enjoys cuddling with me (i’m in 8th grade and yes, i still sleep with my dad).
+ my mom gets annoyed if i ask her where she got the candles from (she cares deeply for me) (my daughter is very ungrateful, angry, jealous, has a potty mouth, listens to bad music, and is a BIG FAT SLUT!).
+ my mom acts like a dude, she gets offended if i say that to her (she’s hypersensitive, with a touch of OCD.) (my mom won’t even let me say the word “freaking!” it resembles the word FUCKING! something she does not do with my dad).
+ there are women in other countries who don’t have access to clean water (they have to walk for miles to a well and then carry a bucket of water back to their village [while carrying a child]). my mom just threw a fit about the brand of water dad purchased. she doesn’t like Dasani, she wants FIJI!
+ my dad and mom are first cousins. we like to keep it in the family! that’s why my brother (he’s a dentist, graduated from NYUCD) and i don’t want to have children. we are Chinese and our partners are Caucasian.
+ my dad has a gambling problem, he gambled away thousands of dollars at the casino.
+ my mom has a gambling problem, she gambled away thousands of dollars at the casino.
+ hi, i’m a caucasian female and i’d like to say “please show some respect to your elders.”
+ our house is paid off and we have a couple of properties.
+ our house is paid off and we have a couple of properties. please don’t tell anyone, people out here only like you if they think you have shit. (funny thing about that is, whether you have money or not, people are still people and will be unhappy pieces of shit for all the days of their life.) (you told me to be vulnerable, is this vulnerable enough!)
+ we are renting this house. we may move into a smaller or even larger home, who knows?
+ we can’t afford this house, our family is so deep in debt but my mom doesn’t want to let go of a fantasy she has in her mind. she’s always comparing herself to others.
+ my mom thinks the louder she speaks, it will make a point and confirm her existence.
+ my mom speaks loudly and badly because her mom was quieter and never spoke up.
+ my mom doesn’t say much and is quieter, because every time she said anything, it was considered inappropriate or unnecessary.
+ my mom thinks taking a vow of silence (giving dad the silent treatment) will make a point and confirm her existence.
+ my mom has tiny breasts and i’ve always liked laying on her chest.
+ my mom has huge breasts and i’ve always liked laying on her chest.
+ my mom is gentle and kind. i’m into that kinda shit.
+ i’m not going to compliment my daughter or say anything positive to her because then she’ll get a big head. i rather her have low self esteem or none at all so she can live with mommy all the days of her life. she’s my kutta!
+ my parents have explosive fights. They throw lamps at eachother. My dad held a gun to my grandpa’s head (for simply existing) [INFP grandpa raised a daughter who will become “something” and pay all the families bills. he couldn’t make enough money to sustain the family. grandma likes things and wants to give money to her family members, to impress them.] [note: a word to the wise, make sure your finances are squared away before helping others. no matter how much you give to certain family members or friends, it will never be enough. they will always want more and demand it!]
+ my daughter is seeing a Physiologist right now (she’s very sick). Anyways, i want her to become a Lawyer and get married, and have babies for me. Then I will show her more respect, kindness, listen, be more attentive (talk less), genuinely care, take her feelings seriously, not scream so loudly, not pick at her flaws (do they really have to be seen as flaws?), not take myself so seriously, not be JEALOUS of my neighbor (friends and family), not gossip, and be more at peace. I will be the most important part of their lives! I will visit them all the time, call them every day, cook for them, bring them gifts, and pit the family against themselves. This will make me look like the heroine! Kim, you always look so sick and tired. We need help in the special needs department, maybe you can volunteer more (this will keep her out of trouble). i know you told me your mom is dentist (but she’s still stupid and i haven’t seen her around the house lately, it must mean she’s mad at you or you stole from her. i know you said your dad was air pilot but i don’t believe that, i bet he’s an employee at 7-11. my husband will look at you in disgust, he’s very important and busy. none of my kids want to talk to you. i know you said hi to my daughter and son, they just roll their eyes and run into the house (hoping you don’t exist), never mind you gave us a shit load of things and money.) (Brenda took a family picture for them y’all! INFP Brenda is now Sameera’s BEST FRIEND. Kim has been replaced that quickly.)
+ I’m a Veterinarian and a Mom! My husband is Caucasian and we have 4 kids. I know it all. I have two offices. I live in a BIG house in the middle of nowhere. My patient (who also looks like my cousin) (i told you i’m Vietnamese, not Korean. You look Korean, no you look Korean!) is acting very strange online (she’s posting www.desiringgod.org quotes). That’s freaking my biological family members out, I’m going to look at my patient like she’s bat shit crazy and doubt every word she says. I’m glad she pays all her bills in a timely manner. There are other careers out there, like Dentistry!
+ hi, I’m Dr. Maryann Kan FAGD MAGD, i too have 2 clinics. we don’t live in a large house, but we own a few properties. my husband is dead now (i didn’t really pay any attention to him while he was alive, VERY BUSY! GOTTA GO! ER’S! but now that’s he’s dead i’m at his grave site every weekend. my daughter is stupid, she never visits his grave. she doesn’t care about her dad or I.)
+ i think everyones doing the best they can. try not to compare yourself to others (even though your parents are). focus on what you can do. no matter how small that action may seem. making your bed and organizing your room is important. reducing the amount of clutter in your room is a helpful start. by clearing up your space, you can slowly start to clear the clutter in your mind. start with YOUR room first. don’t touch anyone else’s room, unless they have given you access.
+ hi!
+ my parents are super easy going, they laugh at everything. life is a complete joke to them.
+ oh look, the dooms day crew is here!
+ my parents are too serious. they are always stressed and angry.
+ my mom is skinny, she works out so much. her diet is incredibly healthy. she still doesn’t think she’s pretty. i think she’s beautiful. but i can’t convince her of that. i hope one day she realizes that YES, your physical appearance is important. but your spirit is just as important. (i bet you her mom said a bunch of shit to her as a kid. maybe her mom passed away when she was young or her mom was alive physically but dead spiritually. your mom did her best, she could only help you as much as she understood herself.)
+ my mom is skinny, she eats a balanced diet. she has a healthy love for herself. she enjoys her own company and doesn’t have very high expectations. she observes negative self talk. she accepts that it’s ok to sit with your sad, mad, frustrated, scared, horny feelings. you don’t need to judge these feelings, just allow them to be. sitting with your feelings is ok. it gives you time to heal. you will not continue with the same feeling all the time, humans go through ups, downs, and in between. the problem lies, when we don’t allow ourselves enough time to process our emotions. we start purchasing stuff left and right, watching porn, sleeping with random people, overeating, gossiping to feel better about ourselves, work ourselves silly, the next vacation will complete me, the next Yelp review will fulfill me, the next partner will be my heaven, etc.
+ my mom is fat, she never works out. her diet is horrible. she’s miserable. always sad, cries a lot. hypersensitive, i say one damn thing and she flips out. meanwhile, she talks so much shit and it’s ok for her to do so in her book because she’s the ADULT (if she’s feeding you, clothing you, and has put a roof over your head; i’d keep my mouth shut till you can do so on your own). she’s always wanting stuff from others. thinks those who have money should give her what’s theirs. doesn’t know how to organize her time wisely, she’s always late. the house is a mess. it’s disorganized and smells. she has no idea how to budget. as soon as she gets any money, she spends it and then some. the grass is greener on the other side and she wants what others have without thinking about how they got it. all she does is want want want, WITHOUT giving giving giving! she’s jealous and angry.
+ my mom doesn’t like it when i talk, she doesn’t like that i have a voice. (why don’t you be a good girl, sit at home, study, and BE QUIET!)
+ my mom says i don’t talk enough, she forces me to talk to everyone. ugh! (you should have MORE friends hunny)
+ my mom is good enough, but she doesn’t think so. she’s still trying to prove her existence at this very moment. (um, it’s called CREATIVE WRITING)
+ my mom doesn’t like to be questioned, she gets offended easily. (um, yes and no. you have the right to ask questions, it’s a free country. but also your questions are a bit offensive, off putting, and RUDE) (no wonder you don’t have any friends.)
+ my mom rather be alone and lonely, than lonely with someone. don’t you hate it when you’re at a party and there’s a ton of people around you, yet you still feel so alone. like nobody will ever fully understand you. (me too!)
+ my dad is angry. his dad never showed him how to express his emotions in a positive way. it’s ok to be angry, we all get angry. it’s an emotion, and all humans go through a list of different emotions (we are not robots). if someone hits (picks) on you, it’s normal to feel angry. if someone steals from you, it’s normal to feel angry. if someone betrays your trust, it’s normal to feel angry. if someone comes at you with anger, you can accept their feeling. you don’t have to change them, you do not control others. you do have control over yourself and may respond with kindness and gentleness. sometimes, that doesn’t work, in which you may have to respond anger with anger. you can also balance kindness, gentleness, and being stern at the same time. behind anger is sadness, hurt, and pain. when people do negative and hurtful things, it’s not so much you. they are battling themselves (battlefield of the mind).
+ my mom is moody. her feelings are all over the place. she has no idea how to manage her emotions and self soothe. she’s always waiting for someone else to “save her.” Super Man will come and save her day! i’m a kid, apparently it’s my job to make her happy and elevate her mood. (we are all responsible for our own happiness) (you cannot control anyone, it’s tough enough to control yourself).
+ my mom did everything she could to fight for her relationship with her husband. she tried being a good wife and mom. they dated for many years before they got married. once they were married and had 4 kids, my dad got bored. he wanted her to be the same person she was back in the day. his idea of helping the family was to bring a bunch of 25 year olds to the house and let them dictate orders to my mom. he also messed around with a bunch of females in our neighborhood, including our 4th house neighbor. he gave them gift cards, cash, “free” food, and gifts. when they demanded more, he listened and gave it to them. thinking more with his penis. did i mention he is proud and has a heightened sense of self?
+ my mom demands i take her out to eat. when i do, she later complains she’s gained too much weight from eating out. then demands i cook her a home cooked meal. in which then she complains again, that she got diarrhea from my cooking. (that’s a lawsuit waiting to happen).
+ my mom demands i take her out to eat, then says she’ll get the check the next time around. 6 meals later, i’ve been paying for it all. next time never came around.
+ my mom is lonely as fuck (daddy and mommy issues), she wants company. so she eats out with her friends for comfort and pays for their meals. even after spending time with her friends, she still feels lonely. the lunch turns into a therapy session. she feels completely, emotionally drained by the end of the meal. (so you gave your friends a free meal and free therapy?)
+ when my mom and dad have sex, she thinks about all the different guys that fucked her before she got married. that can’t be easy for my dad. he also knew she was a whore before they got married. they broke up 100 times, while dating. she encouraged him to leave her alone and to date other women. he continued pursuing the relationship anyways. they have a love and hate relationship. [It’s Year 2022, they are married and a bunch of thirsty bitches are showing up at our door. my dad decided to do everything they said. our switches, gift cards, cash, and toys went missing. he continued blaming mom for everything that was wrong in their relationship. saying things like “she has Alzheimer's and needs a brain scan.” claiming it’s his house and she should get the fuck out (you may want to check the records before assuming anything). Mom wanted to get The Ring Security System installed, but Dad was unhappy about that (YES, we have it in our budget to get The Ring Security System). There was a huge fight about that too].
+ hi, I'm Bronson Johnson (ENTP) and I'm Kim's first African American boyfriend. I may or may not have taken Kim away from INFP Phil (and INTP Yoshi). The last time I checked, Phil liked men and Kim's trying not to suck so much pussy anymore. She's bisexual. I think I can change her mind, we'll work on it. We never had a real relationship, it was all made up. 4 kids and a dog later, i'm going to cheat on her with any of the stupid thirsty bitches out there. (this is exactly why i don't have a joint account and hide my shit all over the place) Once a nigger, always a nigger. Once a chigger, always a chigger. It's CHINK STUPID! I used to be GAY and like men, but Kim changed me. I was her project, now I like bisexuals.
+ hi, i'm Philip Liang (INFP) and am Gavin Yeh's Best Friend. Now that Gavin was stupid enough to break Kim's heart, I will take it from here. I know i'm not as good looking but can sweet talk her, make her feel sorry for me, and write poetic love letters to woo her. don't ask me for any money, my family is broke. i can tutor you in Math online. i will send you handmade pop up cards and sketch beautiful artwork as gifts. i may even send you a rock that reminds me of you. you'll then come to Toronto (empty handed, Kim never gave me a thing) where we will have our first kiss under a tree in front of Stephanie Yen's (INFP) Apartments. it was very sloppy and wet, we'll have to practice some more. i'll suck the shit out of your pussy, while also finger fucking you. could you wash your mouth and dick a bit better, it kinda smells. i think you need better soap and body wash. we'll have a long distance relationship for an unknown period of time. we'll call eachother while I'm in New York and you in Australia. Even when you are dating your ISFJ Taiwanese girlfriend with a thin waistline (who mostly wants your nonexistent money, you're still a Dental Student) you'll ask me to marry you again and again. You tell me that you will break up with your girlfriend right now; we could get engaged and continue right where we left off. you like that i never ask you for anything and any money you do have goes straight to your dental school student loans. i'll visit you in Australia, where you'll fuck the shit out of me. our relationship was so traumatic and toxic, you now like men. i'm so glad you came out of the closet! Gay Lives Matter!
+ hi, I'm Gavin Yeh (ENFP) and could you show me a titty or something on the camera. baby, i want my name tatted on your ass. it doesn't have to be large font, it can be in small font. more cushion for the pushin'. i love rap music and playing basketball. let's have sex in the bathroom stall. i have to break up with you because i found an ISFJ Filipino Canadian chick with a thin waistline (in reality, he's always horny and i live in The States. new pussy is always better than old pussy!) My Mom, Rita Yeh [INFJ] is still wondering if we can get married because your family has money, you're a nice girl, and already part of the family. Gavin is Keenan Kan's (INFJ) first cousin. Kimberly Kan is also Keenan's first cousin, but Gavin and Kim are not cousins. Frankly, I'm tired of listening to Gavin talk about how much he loves your vagina. Kim, for the 800th time, you are not that fat and he loves your ass. [note: proceed with great caution. you will be replaced.]
+ hi, i’m Kalia Sokos and i’m a STEP MOM! When i was a student at Bishop Ireton High School, I sucked 2 Latino men’s dicks at the back of Richard Byrd Library in Springfield, VA. Now I’m married to an older man with kids and i’m rich! look at how important i am. I was super cool at BI, smoked, did horribly in school, was a cheerleader [ESFP], dated an African American basketball player [ESTP], and was a server at Milano's Family Restaurant in Springfield, VA (Kim is a horrible tipper. Um, we gave you $2,000 worth of free Dental Care). I’m Greek, blonde (she dyes her hair), light skinned, and have pretty eyes (nice eyelashes). We’re seconds away from making a porno. I’m a beautiful fucking person you dip shits. Did you guys make your beds yet? Your Dad needs to buy me more shit or else! (ESTP Mr. Sokos & ESFP Mrs. Sokos) (INFJ Harry Sokos & Maxie The Yorkie [aka Kim K.] [ran over by The Olson’s van because they let Maxie run freely around Julian Street without a leash or any supervision.) (it’s very loud at The Sokos’s house, dad is always yelling at mom, and mom yells back crying hysterically at kids and around Julian street. they burned down their kitchen because Mrs. Sokos was juggling too much at one time.) (The Kan’s have Mercedes [S500 and C320], so now we need to also get Mercedes and Jaguars. Dr. Kan can you please give us good deals on dental work and by good deals, i mean free.)
+ INTP Laura Olson [Irish American], ISFJ Kate Olson [Irish American], INFJ Sarah Olson [Irish American] [not born yet], INFJ Harry Sokos [Greek American] [Tree House Dad], Kim K. [Tree House Mom], and ESFP Kalia Sokos will just be playing house outside on the tree in front of The Kan's House in Springfield, VA (which has now been taken down). What is up with ISFJ Cathy Peed? She's 1/2 Caucasian and 1/2 Filipino. Why does she keep stealing everyones shit and then lying about it? It's gotta be a disorder or something. Hey everyone, feel bad that her mom died. Kim's just mad because we all saw INFJ Jason Scheel from Bishop Ireton High School enter The Kan's house from the backdoor. Her parents were out on vacation and they told us to watch over her and the home. He was trying to run inside quickly, but Kim didn't know we saw him. I think he was at her house to study the bible. They must have been planning on starting an online bible website.
+ WHAT!? [African American Woman at Chantilly, VA Dollar Tree] (she’s not rude at all. she’s very respectful, kind, gentle, generous, beautiful, has a lovely spirit, hard working, never gossips, doesn’t think you owe her anything, loves to share, volunteers, doesn’t ask for handouts, loves to cook, never asks you for a thing, doesn’t stare at your husbands dick, isn’t thirsty, very educated, eloquent, funny, has a great sense of humor, not sarcastic, black lives don’t matter!, nuck if you buck is not her favorite song, encouraging, optimistic, believes you are enough, loves children, doesn’t compare herself to anyone else, and believes the world is big enough for all of us to win at something).
+ hi, i’m Uncle Mark (INTP) (Pakistani Chinese American) and a Dentist. I was rude and mean to Kimberly Kan at a dinner party in Toronto, Canada [ESFJ Aunty Florence’s House]. I made fun of her for not knowing what the capital of Virginia was (it’s MIAMI right!). I spoil my daughter and son rotten and still make fun of Kim for being spoiled (she’s an only child) (#onlychildrenarepoepletoo). She was a kid. (i have no idea why this uncle is so mean and is making fun of me. i’m already overweight and the kids at St. Bernadette’s Elementary make fun of me [Isabel is a bully. i do like mixing ketchup and mayo together.] INTP Uncle Glenn is hotter! (INTJ MD Aunty's Husband) [my INTP Filipino American crush Albert Nomarosa makes fun of my weight too. He’s always been more attracted to Maggie Dressel and her blonde hair, blue-ish eyes, and thin waistline.]. Now my Uncle’s here making fun of the fact that i’m STUPID too.) (it’s ok, i look different now at Bishop Ireton High School and Albert N. and I meet again at ENTP Maggie Dressel’s House Party. Where you will gyrate on my ass in the dark to loud music. Yes, your dick is hard and you’re touching me all over the place with my clothes on. I see something over there, i gotta go. INFP Liz (Caucasian American) (Maggie’s Best Friend) will take it from here! I’m at AP Biology in Bishop Ireton High School, and now you’re an INTP Japanese American teenager. You’re going to fuck the shit out of my pussy at your Dad’s townhouse [your mom abandoned the family, your sisters in College, and your INFJ Dad is at work]. Aunty Jane (INTJ) is very important, knows it all, and won’t give her husband any pussy. Uncle Mark (INTP) is sexually frustrated and is not allowed to say a damn thing to Aunty Jane without her putting him down immediately. She’s the man of the house, which is why i need space from her. Thanks Kim for telling everyone my business. I later met an INTP Indian American man at a club in Miami, in which he gyrated all over my ass too. I don’t mind (www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbUBMklQSVU&list=RDSbUBMklQSV...). Then another INTP Haitian American man (looks more Ethiopian) at NYUCD. I don’t find him attractive at all, we never had sex, he’s stupid, has a small penis, never pissed on me, and is NOT a Dentist. www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDq3fNew1rU&list=RDtDq3fNew1r...
+ my name is Crystal (INFJ), and i hate that my mom is a psychiatrist. yes, i’m married to an INTP Jewish Man. he’s quiet and keeps to himself. all my mom fucking does is psychoanalyze my dad, brother, i, and the rest of our immediate family all day! she thinks she’s god’s gift to man because she has fancy degrees behind her name. she is well known in the Psychology department (as Uncle Peter [INFP] has repeatedly told you). i still sleep walk! she’s not as proud of you as you think, more jealous and has a need for popularity. are we going to get lunch or what? yea yea yea, we’re SPOILED! and obviously my Dad wants my pussy. It’s softer, gentler, more real, understanding, more submissive, and follow directions well. i told you i was a daddy’s girl.
+ my name is Dr. Jane Kou (INTJ) (Pakistani Chinese American) and I’m a Psychiatrist. I’m Kim K.’s Aunt. My husband, Mark and I are separated. He’s an INTP Dentist. Dr. Maryann Kan DDS FAGD MAGD (INTJ) and her husband Robert P. Kan (ESFJ) need couples therapy. I mentioned this while visiting The Kan Family in Virginia, and Maryann threw a fit. She kicked me out of the house. Robert drove me to the airport. Kim is a very nice girl, she’s always been a good daughter and does listen to her parents. Kim has SOCIAL ANXIETY! (it’s a free country, i can say that can’t i?) (when did you start liking black men? i would have picked the white guy.)
+ funded by Dr. Maryann Kan DDS FAGD MAGD (and Dr. Jordan Bernt Peterson, Clinical Psychologist) [ENTP Caucasian Male & INTJ Pakistani Chinese American Female]
+ i farted! (i can smell it from here)
According to Singapore's MPA, these ships aren't real! They're not really there! Return to your lives, people, nothing to see here.
Charlotte 94 - Atlanta 97
30 October 2015
Philips Arena
Atlanta, Georgia
Atlanta got out to decent leads a few times (12-14 points) and nearly let it slip away at the end due to some sloppy shots, nonexistent rebounding and an intercepted inbound pass. They held on for the win though.
Size 56. Jersey was worn during the first half of the 2012-2013 season. Has the 15th Anniversary patch on the left crest. Wear is almost nonexistent, as Brennan only played in 6 games while on a rehab assignment before returning to the AHL. Includes MeiGray tagging and LOA.
Mural for 잠실대공원 @jamsilgrandpark , brand new salad & healthy food restaurant in Jamsil (Seoul)
The mural was carried out in the idea of Grand Parc, nonexistent in #Jamsil district, the stuff was to offer a visual ballad in a dreamlike park that could appeal to kids and less young.
\#drolgallery #urbanart #muralism #mural #wallart #muralist #seoulgraffiti #seoul #jamsil #jamsilgrandpark
#프랑스작가 #로고디자인 #브랜딩 #브랜드로고 #타이포그래피 #잠실대공원 #잠실동 #잠실새내 #잠실 #벽화 #서울벽화 #벽화제작 #스트리트아트 #일러스트레이션 #일러스트레이터 #일러스트그림 #일러스트작가 #그림 #아트 #일러스트 #드롤 #드롤작가
Despite the biographical data on Karl Stein, he is nonexistent. These are recordings made in Hamburg conducted by Hans-Jurgens Walther. When Design issued these selections (cut up and reordered) as 'Gaite Parisienne' they claimed that D'Artega (who had made a few records for Design) was the conductor! It wouldn't be the last time they used his name in vain.
Mendon Ponds Park is owned and very poorly maintained by the County of Monroe, NY.
Unfortunately, this extraordinary property is rapidly deteriorating due to an egregious lack of care. Trails are not cleared of debris... signs are useless. Park maintenance is essentially nonexistent. They do have a marketing department. Seriously, the taxpayers are paying the salaries of a county parks marketing department.
Email Mendon Ponds Park complaints to: countyexecutive@monroecounty.gov
Such was the internal condition of the Court. The spring had meanwhile been marked by rejoicings for the peace with foreign powers, at last concluded. On Whit-Sunday a great procession proceeded from St. Paul’s to St. Peter’s, Cornhill, accompanied by a banner, and by crosses from every parish church, the children of St. Paul’s School joining in the show. It was composed of a motley company. Bishop Bonner—as vehement in his Catholicism as Gardiner, and so much less wary in the display of his opinions that his brother of Winchester was wont at times to term him “asse”—carried the Blessed Sacrament under a canopy, with “clerks and priests and vicars and parsons”; the Lord Mayor was there in crimson velvet, the aldermen were in scarlet, and all the crafts33 in their best apparel. The occasion was worthy of the pomp displayed in honour of it, for it was—the words sound like a jest—the festival of a “Universal Peace for ever,” announced by the Mayor, standing between standard and cross, and including in the proclamation of general amity the names of the Emperor, the King of England, the French King, and all Christian Kings.23
If soldiers had for the moment consented to proclaim a truce and to name it, merrily, eternal, theologians had agreed to no like suspension of hostilities, and the perennial religious strife showed no signs of intermission.
“Sire,” wrote Admiral d’Annebaut, sent by Francis to London to ratify the peace, “I know not what to tell your Majesty as to the order given me to inform myself of the condition of religious affairs in England; except that Henry has declared himself head of the Anglican Church, and woe to whomsoever refuses to recognise him in that capacity. He has also usurped all ecclesiastical property, and destroyed all the convents. He attends Mass nevertheless daily, and permits the papal nuncio to live in London. What is strangest of all is that Catholics are there burnt as well as Lutherans and other heretics. Was anything like it ever seen?”24
34Punishment was indeed dealt out with singular impartiality. During the spring Dr. Crome had been examined touching a sermon he had delivered against Catholic doctrine. Two or three weeks later, preaching once more at Paul’s Cross, he had boldly declared he was not there for the purpose of denying his former assertions; but a second “examination” had proved more effective, and on the Sunday following the feast of Corpus Christi he eschewed his heresies.25 “Our news here,” wrote a merchant of London to his brother on July 2, “of Dr. Crome’s canting, recanting, decanting, or rather double-canting, be this.”26 The transaction was representative of many others, which, with their undercurrent of terror, struggle, intimidation, menace, and remorse, formed a melancholy and recurrent feature of the day, the victory remaining sometimes with a man’s conscience—whatever it dictates might be—sometimes with his fears.
The King was, in fact, still endeavouring to stem the torrent he had set loose. In his speech to Parliament on Christmas Eve, 1545, after commending and thanking Lords and Commons for their loyalty and affection towards himself, he had spoken with severity of the discord and dissension prevalent in the realm; the clergy, by their sermons against each other, sowing debate and discord35 amongst the people.... “I am very sorry to know and hear how unreverently that most precious jewel, the Word of God, is disputed, rimed, sung and jangled in every ale-house and tavern ... and yet I am even as much sorry that the readers of the same follow it in doing so faintly and so coldly. For of this I am sure, that charity was never so faint amongst you, and virtuous and godly living was never less used, nor God Himself amongst Christians was never less reverenced, honoured, and served.”27
Delivered scarcely more than a year before his death, Henry’s speech was a singular commentary upon the condition of the realm, consequent upon his own policy, during the concluding years of his reign.
36
CHAPTER IV
1546Anne Askew—Her trial and execution—Katherine Parr’s danger—Plot against her—Her escape.
AS the months of 1546 went by the measures taken by the King and his advisers to enforce unanimity of practice and opinion in matters of religion did not become less drastic. A great burning of books disapproved by Henry took place during the autumn, preceded in July by the condemnation and execution of a victim whose fate attracted an unusual amount of attention, the effect at Court being enhanced by the fact that the heroine of the story was personally known to the Queen and her ladies. It was indeed reported that one of the King’s special causes of displeasure was that she had been the means of imbuing his nieces—among whom was Lady Dorset, Jane Grey’s mother—as well as his wife, with heretical doctrines.
Added to the species of glamour commonly surrounding a spiritual leader, more particularly in times of persecution, Anne Askew was beautiful and young—not more than twenty-five at the time37 of her death—and the thought of her racked frame, her undaunted courage, and her final agony at the stake, may well have haunted with the horror of a night-mare those who had been her disciples, and who looked on from a distance, and with sympathy they dared not display.
There were other circumstances increasing the interest with which the melancholy drama was watched. Well born and educated, Anne had been the wife of a Lincolnshire gentleman of the name of Kyme. Their life together had been of short duration. In a period of bitter party feeling and recrimination, it is difficult to ascertain with certainty the truth on any given point; and whilst a hostile chronicler asserts that Anne left her husband in order “to gad up and down a-gospelling and gossipping where she might and ought not, but especially in London and near the Court,”28 another authority explains that Kyme had turned her out of his house upon her conversion to Protestant doctrines. Whatever might have been the origin of her mode of life, it is certain that she resumed her maiden name, and proceeded to “execute the office of an apostle.”29
Her success in her new profession made her unfortunately conspicuous, and in 1545 she was committed to Newgate, “for that she was very38 obstinate and heady in reasoning on matters of religion.” The charge, it must be confessed, is corroborated by her demeanour under examination, when the qualities of meekness and humility were markedly absent, and her replies to the interrogatories addressed to her were rather calculated to irritate than to prove conciliatory. On this first occasion, for example, asked to interpret certain passages in the Scriptures, she declined to comply with the request on the score that she would not cast pearls among swine—acorns were good enough; and, urged by Bonner to open her wound, she again refused. Her conscience was clear, she said; to lay a plaster on a whole skin might seem much folly, and the similitude of a wound appeared to her unsavoury.30
For the time she escaped; but in the course of the following year her case was again brought forward, and on this occasion she found no mercy. Her examinations, mostly reported by herself, show her as alike keen-witted and sharp-tongued, rarely at a loss for an answer, and profoundly convinced of the justice of her cause. If she was not without the genuine enjoyment of the born controversialist in the opportunity of argument and discussion, she possessed, underlying the self-assertion and confidence natural in a woman holding the position of a religious leader, a fund of indomitable heroism.39 For she must have been fully conscious of her danger. It is possible that, had she not been brought into prominence by her association with those in high places, she might again have escaped; but, apart from the grudge owed her for her influence over the King’s own kin, her attitude was almost such as to court her fate. Refusing “to sing a new song of the Lord in a strange land,” she replied to the Bishop of Winchester, when he complained that she spoke in parables, that it was best for him that she should do so. Had she shown him the open truth, he would not accept it.
“Then the Bishop said he would speak with me familiarly. I said, ‘So did Judas when he unfriendlily betrayed Christ....’ In conclusion,” she ended, in her account of the interview, “we could not agree.”
Spirited as was her bearing, and thrilling as the prisoner plainly was with all the excitement of a battle of words, it was not strange that the strain should tell upon her.
“On the Sunday,” she proceeds—and there is a pathetic contrast between the physical weakness to which she confesses and her undaunted boldness in confronting the men bent upon her destruction—“I was sore sick, thinking no less than to die.... Then was I sent to Newgate in my extremity of sickness, for in all my life I was never in such pain. Thus the Lord strengthen us in His truth. Pray, pray, pray.”
40Her condemnation was a foregone conclusion. It followed quickly, with a subsequent visit from one Nicholas Shaxton, who, having, for his own part, made his recantation, counselled her to do the same. He spoke in vain. It were, she told him, good for him never to have been born, “with many like words.” More was to follow. If her assertion is to be believed—and there seems no valid reason to doubt it—the rack was applied “till I was nigh dead.... After that I sat two long hours reasoning with my Lord Chancellor upon the bare floor. Then was I brought into a house and laid in a bed with as weary and painful bones as ever had patient Job. I thank my God therefore.”
A scarcely credible addition is made to the story, to the effect that when the Lieutenant of the Tower had refused to put the victim to the torture a second time, the Lord Chancellor, Wriothesley, less merciful, took the office upon himself, and applied the rack with his own hands, the Lieutenant departing to report the matter to the King, “who seemed not very well to like such handling of a woman.”31 What is certain is the final scene at Smithfield, where Shaxton delivered a sermon, Anne listening, endorsing his41 words when she approved of them and correcting them “when he said amiss.”
So the shameful episode was brought to an end. The tale, penetrating even the thick walls of a palace, must have caused a thrill of horror at Whitehall, accentuated by reason of certain events going forward there about the same time.
The King’s disease was gaining upon him apace. He had become so unwieldy in bulk that the use of machinery was necessary to move him, and with the progress of his disorder his temper was becoming more and more irritable. In view of his approaching death the question of the guardianship and custody of the heir to the throne was increasing in importance and the jealousy of the rival parties was becoming more embittered. In the course of the summer the Catholics about the Court ventured on a bold stroke, directed against no less a person than the Queen.
Emboldened by the tolerance displayed by the King towards her religious practices and the preachers and teachers she gathered around her, Katherine had grown so daring as to make matters of doctrine a constant subject of conversation with Henry, urging him to complete the work he had begun, and to free the Church of England from superstition.32 Henry appears at first—though he was a man ill to argue with—to have shown singular patience under his wife’s admonitions. But daily controversy is not42 soothing to a sick man’s nerves and temper, and Katherine’s enemies, watching their opportunity, conceived that it was at hand.
Henry’s habits had been altered by illness, and it had become the Queen’s custom to wait for a summons before visiting his apartments; although on some occasions, after dinner or supper, or when she had reason to imagine she would be welcome, she repaired thither on her own initiative. But perhaps the more as she perceived that time was short, she continued her imprudent exhortations. And still her enemies, wary and silent, watched.
Henry appears—and it says much for his affection for her—to have for a time maintained the attitude of a not uncomplacent listener. On a certain day, however, when Katherine was, as usual, descanting upon questions of theology, he changed the subject abruptly, “which somewhat amazed the Queen.” Reassured by perceiving no further signs of displeasure, she talked upon other topics until the time came for the King to bid her farewell, which he did with his customary affection.
The account of what followed—Foxe being, as before, the narrator—must be accepted with reservation. Gardiner, chancing to be present, was made the recipient of his master’s irritation. It was a good hearing, the King said ironically, when women were become clerks, and a thing much to his comfort, to come in his old days to be taught by his wife.
43Gardiner made prompt use of the opening afforded him; he had waited long for it, and it was not wasted. The Queen, he said, had forgotten herself, in arguing with a King whose virtues and whose learnedness in matters of religion were not only greater than were possessed by other princes, but exceeded those of doctors in divinity. For the Bishop and his friends it was a grievous thing to hear. Proceeding to enlarge upon the subject at length, he concluded by saying that, though he dared not declare what he knew without special warranty from the King, he and others were aware of treason cloaked in heresy. Henry, he warned him, was cherishing a serpent in his bosom.
It was risking much, but the Bishop knew to whom he spoke, and, working adroitly upon Henry’s fears and wrath, succeeded in obtaining permission to consult with his colleagues and to draw up articles by which the Queen’s life might be touched. “They thought it best to begin with such ladies as she most esteemed and were privy to all her doings—as the Lady Herbert, her sister, the Lady Lane, who was her first cousin, and the Lady Tyrwhitt, all of her privy chamber.” The plan was to accuse these ladies of the breach of the Six Articles, to search their coffers for documents or books compromising to the Queen, and, in case anything of that nature were found, to carry Katherine by night to the Tower. The King, acquainted with44 the design, appears to have given his consent, and all went on as before, Henry still encouraging, or at least not discouraging, his wife’s discourse on spiritual matters.
Time was passing; the bill of articles against the Queen had been prepared, and Henry had affixed his signature to it, whether with a deliberate intention of giving her over to her enemies, or, as some said, meaning to deter her from the study of prohibited literature—in which case, as Lord Herbert of Cherbury observes, it was “a terrible jest.”33 That Katherine herself did not regard the affair, as soon as she came to be cognisant of it, in the light of a kindly warning, is plain; for when, by a singular accident, the document containing the charges against her was dropped by one of the council and brought for her perusal, the effect upon her was such that the King’s physicians were summoned to attend her, and Henry himself, ignorant of the cause of her illness, and possibly softened by it, paid her a visit, and, hearing that she entertained fears that she had incurred his displeasure, reassured her with sweet and comfortable words, remained with her an hour, and departed.
Though Katherine had played her part well, she must have been aware that she stood on the brink of a precipice, and the ghosts of Anne Boleyn and Katherine Howard warned her how little reliance45 could be placed upon the King’s fitful affection. Deciding upon a bold step, she sought his bed-chamber uninvited after supper on the following evening, attended only by her sister, Lady Herbert, and with Lady Lane,34 her cousin, to carry the candle before her. Henry, found in conversation with his attendant gentlemen, gave his wife a courteous welcome, entering at once—contrary to his custom—upon the subject of religion, as if moved by a desire of gaining instruction from her replies. Read in the light of what Katherine already knew, this new departure may well have been viewed by her with misgiving; and she hastened to disclaim the position the King appeared anxious to assign her. The inferiority of women being what it was, she said, it was for man to supply from his wisdom what they lacked. She being a silly poor woman, and his Majesty so wise, how could her judgment be of use to him, in all things her only anchor, and, next to God, her supreme head and governor on earth?
The King demurred. The attitude of submission may have struck him as unfamiliar.
“Not so, by St. Mary,” he said. “You are become a doctor, Kate, to instruct us, as we take it, and not to be instructed or directed by us.”
The plain charge elicited, it was more easy to reply to it. The King had much mistaken her,46 Katherine humbly declared. It had ever been her opinion that it was unseemly for the woman to instruct and teach her lord and husband; her place was rather to learn of him. If she had been bold to maintain opinions differing from the King’s, it had been to “minister talk”—to make conversation, in modern language—to distract him from the thought of his infirmities, as also in the hope of profiting by his learned discourse—with more of the same nature.
Henry, perhaps not sorry to be convinced, yielded to the skilful flattery thus administered.
“Is it even so, sweetheart?” he said, “and tend your arguments to no worse end? Then perfect friends we are now again,” adding, as he took her in his arms and kissed her, that her words had done him more good than news of a hundred thousand pounds.
The next day had been fixed for the Queen’s arrest. As the appointed hour approached the King sought the garden, sending for Katherine to attend him there. Accompanied by the same ladies as on the night before, the Queen obeyed the summons, and there, under the July sun, the closing scene of the serio-comic drama was played. Amused, it may be, by the anticipation of his counsellors’ discomfiture, Henry was in good spirits and “as pleasant as ever he was in his life before,” when the Chancellor, with forty of the royal guard,47 appeared, ready to take possession of the culprit. What passed between Wriothesley and his master, at a little distance from the rest of the party, could only be matter of conjecture. The Chancellor’s words, as he knelt before the angry King, were not audible to the curious bystanders, but the King’s rejoinder, “vehemently whispered,” was heard. “Knave, arrant knave, beast and fool,” were the epithets applied to the crestfallen official. After which, he was promptly dismissed.
Katherine, whether or not she divined the truth, set herself to plead Wriothesley’s cause. Ignorance, not will, was in her opinion the probable origin of what had so manifestly moved Henry to wrath. The advocacy of the intended victim softened the King’s heart even more towards her.
“Ah, poor soul,” he said, “thou little knowest how ill he deserves this grace at thy hands. On my word, sweetheart, he hath been towards thee an arrant knave, and so let him go.”35
For the moment, at least, the danger was averted, and before it recurred the despot was in his grave, and Katherine was safe. It is curious to observe that in the list of contents to the Acts and Monuments the danger of the Queen is pointed out, “and how gloriously she was preserved by her kind and loving Husband the King.”
48
CHAPTER V
1546The King dying—The Earl of Surrey—His career and his fate—The Duke of Norfolk’s escape—Death of the King.
THE King was dying. So much must have been apparent to all who were in a position to judge. None, however, dared utter their thought, since it had been made an indictable offence—the act being directed against soothsayers and prophets—to foretell his death. Those who wished him well or ill, those who would if they could have cared for his soul and invited him to make his peace with God before taking his way hence, were alike constrained to be mute. Before he went to present himself at a court of justice where king and crossing-sweeper stand side by side, another judicial murder was to be accomplished, and one more victim added to the number of the accusers awaiting him there. This was the poet Earl of Surrey, heir to the Dukedom of Norfolk.
Surrey was not more than thirty. But much had been crowded, according to the fashion of the time, into his short and brilliant life. Brought up during his childhood at Windsor as the companion of the49 King’s illegitimate son, the Duke of Richmond—who subsequently married Mary Howard, his friend’s sister—Surrey had suffered many vicissitudes of fortune; had been in confinement on a suspicion of sympathy with the Pilgrimage of Grace; and in 1543 had again fallen into disgrace, charged with breaking windows in London by shooting pebbles at them. To this accusation he pleaded guilty, explaining, in a satire directed against the citizens of London, that his object had been to prepare them for the divine retribution due for their irreligion and wickedness:
This made me with a reckless brest,To wake thy sluggards with my bowe;A figure of the Lord’s behest,Whose scourge for synne the Scriptures shew.
He can scarcely have expected that the plea would have availed, and he expiated his offence by a short imprisonment, chiefly of importance as accentuating his hatred towards the Seymours, who were held responsible for it.36
In the course of the same year he was more worthily employed in fighting the battles of England abroad, where his conduct elicited a cordial tribute of praise from Charles V. “Our cousin, the Earl of Surrey,” wrote the Emperor to Henry, on Surrey’s return to England, would supply him with an account of all that had taken place. “We will50 therefore only add that he has given good proof in the army of whom he is the son; and that he will not fail to follow in the steps of his father and forefathers, with si gentil cœur and so much dexterity that there is no need to instruct him in aught, and you will give him no command that he does not know how to execute.”37
Two years later Surrey was in command of the English forces at Boulogne, there suffered defeat, and was, though not as an ostensible result of his failure, superseded by his rival and enemy, the Earl of Hertford, brother of the Admiral and head of the Seymour clan.
Such was the record of the man who was to fall a prey to the malice and jealousy of the opposite party in the State. His noble birth, his long descent, and his brilliant gifts, were so many causes tending to make him hated and feared; besides which, even amongst men in whom humility was a rare virtue, he was noted for his pride—“the most foolish, proud boy,” as he was once described, “that is in England.” When he came to be tried for his life those of his own house came forward to bear witness to the contempt he had displayed towards inferiors in rank, if not in power. “These new men,” he had said scornfully—it was his sister who played the part of his accuser—“these new men loved no nobility, and if God called away the King51 they should smart for it.”38 None of the King’s Council, he was reported to have declared, loved him, because they were not of noble birth, and also because he believed in the Sacrament of the Altar.39
In verse he had likewise made his sentiments clear, comparing himself, much to his advantage, with the men he hated.
Behold our kyndes how that we differ farre;I seke my foes, and you your frendes do threten still with warre.I fawne where I am fled; you slay that sekes to you;I can devour no yelding pray; you kill where you subdue.My kinde is to desire the honoure of the field,And you with bloode to slake your thirst on such as to you yeld.
It was a natural and inevitable consequence of his attitude towards them that the “new men” hated and sought the ruin of the poet who held them up publicly to scorn; and if his great popularity in the country was in some sort a shield, it was also calculated to prove perilous, by giving rise to suspicion and distrust on the part of a sovereign prone to indulge in these sentiments, and thereby to render the success of his foes more easy.
The Seymours were aware that their time was short. With the King’s approaching death the question of the guardianship of the successor to the throne was becoming daily more momentous; and when pride and vanity on the part of the Earl, together with treachery on that of friends and kin, placed a dangerous52 weapon in the hands of his opponents, they were prompt to use it.
During the summer there was nothing to serve as a presage of his fate; and so late as August he took part in the magnificent reception accorded to the French ambassadors, successfully vindicating on that occasion his right to precedence over the Earl of Hertford, with whom he was as usual at open enmity.
A new cause of quarrel had been added to the old. The Duke of Norfolk, developing, as age crept upon him, an unwonted desire for peace and amity, had lately devised a method of terminating the feud between his heir and the Seymour brothers, so powerful, by reason of their kinship to Prince Edward, in the State. Not only had he revived a project for uniting his widowed daughter, the Duchess of Richmond, to Thomas Seymour, Lord Admiral, Katherine Parr’s former lover, but had made a further proposal to cement the alliance between the rival houses by marrying three of his grandchildren to Hertford’s children.
The old man’s scheme was not destined to succeed. Whether or not the Seymours would have consented to forget ancient grudges, Surrey remained irreconcilable, flatly refusing his consent to his father’s plan. So long as he lived, he declared, no son of his should ever wed Lord Hertford’s daughter; and when his sister—perhaps not insensible to Thomas Seymour’s attractions—showed an inclination to53 yield to the Duke’s wishes, he addressed bitter taunts to her. Since Seymour was in favour with the King, he told her ironically, let her conclude the farce of a marriage, and play in England the part which had, in France, belonged to the Duchesse d’Étampes, Francis I.’s mistress.
Mary Howard did not marry the Admiral, but, possibly sharing her brother’s pride, she never forgot or forgave the insult he had offered her; and, repeating the sarcasm as if it had been advice tendered in all seriousness, did her best to damn the Earl in his day of extremity. In a contemporary Spanish chronicle further particulars, true or false, of the quarrel are added. It is there related that, grieved at the tales that had reached him of his sister’s lightness of conduct, Surrey had taken upon himself to administer a brotherly rebuke.
“Sister,” he said, “I am very sorry to hear what I do about you; and if it be true, I will never speak to you again, but will be your mortal enemy.”40
The Duchess was not a woman to accept the admonition meekly, and it was she who was to prove, in the sequel, the more dangerous foe of the two.
The offence for which Surrey nominally suffered the capital penalty seems trivial enough. According to the story told by contemporary authorities—and it suits well with his overweening pride in54 his ancient blood and royal descent—he caused a painting to be executed wherein the Norfolk arms were joined to those of the royal house, the motto Honi soit qui mal y pense being replaced by the enigmatical device Till then thus, and the whole concealed by a canvas placed above it.
From an engraving by Scriven after a painting by Holbein.
HENRY HOWARD, EARL OF SURREY.
The very fact of the secrecy observed betrays the Earl’s consciousness that he had committed an imprudence. He was guilty of a worse when, notwithstanding the terms upon which he stood with his sister, he made her his confidant in the matter. The Duchess, in her turn, informed her father of what had been done, but to the Duke’s remonstrances Surrey turned a deaf ear. His ancestors, he replied, had borne these arms, and he was much better than they. Powerless to move him, his father, reiterating his fears that it might furnish occasion for a charge of treason, begged that the affair might be kept strictly private, to which Surrey readily agreed. Both men, however, had reckoned without the woman who was daughter to the one, sister to the other. Whether, as some aver,41 the Duchess took the step of betraying her brother directly to the King, or merely corroborated the accusations preferred against him by others—Sir Richard Southwell, a friend of Surrey’s childhood, being the first to denounce him42—the matter soon became known, the55 Earl was examined at length, and by the middle of December was, with his father, lodged in the Tower on the charge of treason, the assumption of the royal arms being viewed as an implied claim to the succession to the throne, and as a menace to the little heir. Hertford and his brother were at hand to exaggerate the peril to be feared from his ambition; and the affection of the populace, who, as he was taken through the city to his place of captivity, made great lamentation,43 was not fitted to allay apprehension. A month later the Earl’s trial took place at the Guildhall, crowds filling the streets as he went by. Brought before his judges, he made so spirited a defence that Holinshed admits that “if he had tempered his answers with such modesty as he showed token of a right perfect and ready wit, his praise had been the greater”; and though neither wit nor modesty was likely to avail to save him, it was not without long deliberation that the jury agreed to declare him guilty.
Their verdict was pronounced by his implacable enemy, Hertford; being greeted by the people with “a great tumult, and it was a long while before they could be silenced, although they cried out to them to be quiet.”44
The prisoner received what was practically sentence of death in characteristic fashion. His56 enemies might have vanquished him, but he could still despise them, still assert his inborn superiority to his victors.
“Of what have you found me guilty?” he demanded. “Surely you will find no law that justifies you; but I know that the King wants to get rid of the noble blood around him, and to employ none but low people.”45
On January 19, not a week after his trial, the poet, King Henry VIII.’s latest victim, was beheaded on Tower Hill. It was not the fault of Henry’s advisers that his aged father did not follow him to the grave. To have cleared Surrey out of their path was much; but it was not enough. The Duke’s heir gone, there were many eager to share amongst themselves the Norfolk spoils; Henry was ready to send his old servant to join his son; and only the King’s death, on the very night before the day appointed for the Duke’s execution, saved him from sharing Surrey’s fate. On January 28, 1547, nine days after the Earl had been slain, Henry was dead.
The end can have taken few people by surprise. Whether it was unexpected by the King none can tell. His will was made—a will paving the way for the misfortunes of one of his kin, and preparing the scaffold upon which Lady Jane Grey was to die; since, tacitly setting aside the claims of his elder sister, Margaret of Scotland, and her heirs, he57 provided that, after his own children, Edward, Mary, and Elizabeth, the descendants of Mary Tudor, of whom Jane was, in the younger generation, the representative, should stand next in the order of succession to the throne. It was the first occasion upon which Lady Jane’s position had been explicitly defined, and was the prelude of the tragedy that was to follow. Should the unrepealed statutes declaring the King’s daughters illegitimate be permitted in the future to weigh against his present provisions in their favour, his great niece or her mother would, in the event of Prince Edward’s death, become heirs to the crown.
For Henry the opportunity of cancelling, had it been possible, the injustices of a lifetime was over. “Soon after the death of the Earl of Surrey,” writes the Spanish chronicler, “the King felt unwell; and, as he was a wise man, he called his council together, and said to them, ‘Gentlemen, I am unwell, and cannot tell when God may call me, so I wish to put my soul in order, and to reward my servants for what they have done.’”
The writer was probably drawing upon his imagination, and presenting rather a picture of what, in his opinion, ought to have taken place than of what truly happened. It quickly became patent to all that the end was at hand; but, though the physicians represented to those about the dying man that it was fitting that he should be warned of his condition,58 most of them shrank from the task. At length Sir Anthony Denny took the performance of the duty upon himself, exhorting his master boldly to prepare for death, “calling himself to remembrance of his former life, and to call upon God in Christ betimes for grace and mercy.”46
What followed must again be largely matter of conjecture, the various accounts being coloured according to the theological views of the narrator. It is possible that, feeling the end near, and calling to mind, as Denny bade him, the life he had led, Henry may have been visited by one of those deathbed repentances so mercilessly described by Raleigh: “For what do they do otherwise that die this kind of well-dying, but say to God as followeth: We beseech Thee, O God, that all the falsehoods, forswearings, and treacheries of our lives past may be pleasing unto Thee; that Thou wilt, for our sakes (that have had no leisure to do anything for Thine) change Thy nature (though impossible) and forget to be a just God; that Thou wilt love injuries and oppressions, call ambition wisdom, and charity foolishness.”47 Into the secrets of the deathbed none can penetrate. Some say the King’s remorse, for the execution of Anne Boleyn in particular, was genuine; others that he was haunted by visionary fears and terrors. In the Spanish chronicle quoted above, it59 is asserted that, sending for “Madam Mary,” his injured daughter, he confessed that fortune—he might have said himself—had been hard against her, that he grieved not to have married her as he wished, and prayed her further to be a mother to the Prince, “for look, he is very little yet.”
The same authority has also drawn what one must believe to be an imaginary picture of a final and affecting interview between Katherine and her husband, “when the good Queen could not answer for weeping.”48 His account is uncorroborated by other evidence, and it is impossible to believe that she can have felt genuine sorrow for the death of a man whose life was a perpetual menace to her own.
According to Foxe, when Denny, the courageous servant who had warned him of his danger, asked whether he would see no learned divine, the King replied that, were any such to be called, it should be Cranmer, but him not yet. He would first sleep, and then, according as he felt, would advise upon the matter. When, an hour or two later, finding his weakness increasing, he sent for the Archbishop, it was too late for speech. “Notwithstanding ... he, reaching his hand to Dr. Cranmer, did hold him fast,” and, desired by the latter to give some token of trust in God, he “did wring his hand in his as hard as he could, and so, shortly after, departed.”49
60
CHAPTER VI
1547Triumph of the new men—Somerset made Protector—Coronation of Edward VI.—Measures of ecclesiastical reform—The Seymour brothers—Lady Jane Grey entrusted to the Admiral—The Admiral and Elizabeth—His marriage to Katherine.
WITH the death of the King a change, complete and sudden, passed over the face of affairs. So long as Henry drew breath all was uncertain; security there was none. The men who were in favour to-day might be disgraced to-morrow, and with regard to the government of the country and the guardianship of the new sovereign all depended upon the state of mind in which death might find him. Happening when it actually did, it left the “new men,” the objects of Surrey’s contempt, triumphant. Norfolk was in prison on a capital charge; his son was dead. Gardiner had fallen into disgrace at the same time as the Howards, and, though averting a worse fate by a timely show of submission, had never regained his power, his name being omitted by Henry from the list of his executors, all, with the exception of Wriothesley the Chancellor, adherents of the Seymours and for the61 most part pledged to the support of the Protestant interest. Henry had acted deliberately.
“My Lord of Winchester—I think by negligence—is left out of Your Majesty’s will,” said Sir Anthony Browne, kneeling by the King’s side, and recalling to the dying man the Bishop’s long service and great abilities. But Henry refused to reconsider the question.
“Hold your peace,” he returned. “I remembered him well enough, and of good purpose have left him out; for surely, if he were in my testament, and one of you, he would cumber you all, and you should never rule him, he is of so troublesome a nature.”50
Gardiner removed, there was no one left of sufficient influence to combat the Seymours. Their day was come.
The King’s death had taken place on Friday, January 28. The Council, for reasons of their own, kept the news secret until the following Monday, when, amidst a scene of strong emotion, real or simulated, the fact was made known to Lords and Commons, Parliament was dissolved, and the Commons dismissed, the peers staying in London to welcome their new sovereign. On February 1 a fresh and crowning success was scored by the dominant party, and Hertford—Wriothesley’s being the sole dissentient voice in the governing body—was made Protector and guardian of the King. That afternoon62 Edward received the homage of the Lords spiritual and temporal, and the new reign was inaugurated.
On the 20th of the same month the coronation took place with all magnificence. On the previous day the nine-year-old King had been brought “through his city of London in most royal and goodly wise” to Westminster, the crafts standing on one side of the streets to see him pass, priests and clerks on the other, with crosses and censers, waiting to cense the new sovereign as he went by. The sword of state was borne by Dorset, as Constable of England, and his daughter, the same age as the King, was probably a witness of the splendid pageant and watched her cousin as, in his gown of cloth of silver embroidered in gold and with his white velvet jerkin and cape, he rode through the city.51
At the coronation on the following day Dorset again occupied a prominent place, standing by the King and carrying the sceptre, Somerset bearing the crown. Cranmer, with no longer anything to fear from his enemies, performed the ceremony and delivered an address that can have left no doubt in the minds of any of his hearers, if such there were, who had clung to the hope that a moderate policy would be pursued in ecclesiastical matters, of what was to be expected from the men who had in their hands the little head of Church and State. As God’s63 Vice-regent and Christ’s Vicar, Edward Tudor was exhorted to see that God was worshipped, idolatry destroyed, the tyranny of the Bishop of Rome banished, and images removed, the hybrid ceremony being concluded by a solemn high mass, Cranmer acting as celebrant.
Signal success had attended the inauguration of the new régime. Dissentients were almost nonexistent. Wriothesley, now Earl of Southampton, remained the solitary genuine adherent of the old faith belonging to the Council. His lack of caution in putting the great seal into commission without the authority of his colleagues afforded them an excuse for ousting him from his post of Chancellor; he was compelled to resign his office, and received orders to confine himself to his house, whilst Hertford, become Duke of Somerset, took advantage of his absence to obtain letters patent by which he became virtually omnipotent in the State.
The earlier months of his government were chiefly devoted to carrying through drastic measures of ecclesiastical reform, in which he was aided by conviction in some, and cupidity in others, of his colleagues, eager to benefit by the spoliation of the Church. With the education of the King in the hands of the Protector, they could count upon immunity when he should come to an age to execute justice on his own account, and the work went swiftly forward. Gardiner, it was true, offered a64 determined opposition. If he had pandered to his old master, he vindicated his character for courage by braving the resentment of the men now in power, and paid for his boldness by imprisonment.
By September the internal affairs of the kingdom were on a sufficiently settled footing to allow the Protector to turn his attention to Scotland. Crossing the border with an army of twenty thousand men, he conducted in person a short campaign ending with the victory of Pinkie, after which, to the surprise of those who expected to see him follow up his success, he hurried home.
His hasty retreat was ascribed to different causes. Some supposed him eager to be again at his post, with the prestige of his victory still fresh. By others it was imagined that he feared the intrigues of his enemies, and in especial of his brother the Admiral. Nor would such uneasiness have been without justification. So long as their combined strength was necessary to enable them to stand against their enemies, the two had made common cause. Somerset was popular in the country; the nobles preferred the Admiral. For both a certain distrust was entertained by those who felt that “their new lustre did dim the light of men honoured with ancient nobility.52” The consciousness of insecurity kept them at one with each other. Become all-powerful in the State, jealousy and passion sundered them.65 Ambitious, proud, and resentful of the Duke’s assumption of undivided authority, Seymour had quickly shown an intention of undermining his brother’s position in the country, with his hold upon the King, and the Protector may reasonably have felt that it was neither safe nor politic, so far as his personal interest was concerned, to remain too long at a distance from the centre of government.
To the jealousies natural to ambitious men other causes of dissension had been added. These were due to the position achieved by Seymour some months previous to the Scotch campaign by his marriage with the King’s widow.
The conduct of Katherine at this juncture is allowed by her warmest partisans to furnish matter for regret. Little information is forthcoming concerning her movements at the time of the King’s death; nor does any blame attach to her if she regarded that event in the light of a timely release, an emancipation from a condition of perpetual unrest and anxiety. In any case the age was not one when overmuch time was squandered in mourning, real or conventional, for the dead; and, judging by the sequel, it is possible that, even before the final close was put to her married life, she may have been contemplating the recovery of her lost lover. It is said that when the Lord Admiral paid her his formal visit of condolence she not only received him in private, but candidly confessed how66 slight was her reason to regret a man who had done her the wrong of appropriating her youth.53
If the conversation is correctly reported, Seymour would augur well of the Queen’s willingness, so far as was possible, to make up for lost time. But he was not himself inclined to be hurried. Intent upon securing every means within his power to assist him in the coming struggle for pre-eminence, he did not at once convince himself that it was his best policy to become the husband of the King’s step-mother, and that a more advantageous alliance was not within his grasp.
Other matters were also occupying his attention; and it was now that Lady Jane Grey, unfortunately a factor of importance in the political world, was brought prominently forward and that her small figure comes first into view in connection with the competition for power and influence.
Although allied with the royal house, and in a position to share in some sort Surrey’s contempt for the parvenu nobility of whom the Seymours were representative, Dorset and the King’s uncles, agreed upon the crucial matter of religion, were on good terms; and Henry was no sooner dead than it occurred to the Admiral that he might steal a march upon his brother and secure to himself a point of vantage in the contest between them, by obtaining the custody for the present, and the disposal in the future, of the marquis’s eldest daughter.
67He lost no time in attempting to compass his purpose. Immediately after the late King’s death—according to statements made when, at a later date, Seymour had fallen upon evil times—Lord Dorset received a visit from a dependant of the Admiral’s, named Harrington, and the negotiations ending in the transference of the practical guardianship of the child to Seymour were set on foot.
Harrington was, it would seem, the bearer of a letter from his master, containing the proposal that Lady Jane should be committed to his care; and found the Marquis, on this first occasion, “somewhat cold” in the matter. The messenger, however, proceeded to urge the wishes of his principal, supporting them by arguments well calculated to appeal to an ambitious man. He reported that he had heard Seymour say “that Lady Jane was as handsome as any lady in England, and that, if the King’s Majesty, when he came of age, would marry within the realm, it was as likely he would be there as in any other place, and that he [the Admiral] would wish it.”54
Such was Harrington’s deposition. Dorset’s account of the interview is to much the same effect. Visiting him at his house at Westminster “immediately after the King’s death,” he stated that Seymour’s envoy had advised him to be68 content that his daughter should be with the Admiral, assuring him that he would find means to place her in marriage much to his comfort.
“With whom?” demanded Dorset, plainly anxious to obtain an explicit pledge.
“Marry,” answered Harrington, “I doubt not you shall see him marry her to the King.”
As a consequence of this conversation Dorset called upon the Admiral at Seymour House a week later, and as the two walked in the garden an agreement was arrived at, and her father was won over to send for the child, who thereafter remained in the Admiral’s house “continually” until the death of the Queen.55
It was a strange arrangement; the more so that it was evidently concluded before the marriage of the late King’s widow to Seymour, a man one would imagine to have been in no wise fit to be entrusted with the sole guardianship of the little girl. But Dorset was ambitious; the favour of the King’s uncle, with the possibility of securing the King himself as a son-in-law, was not lightly to be forgone; and the sacrifice of Jane was made, not for the last time, to her father’s interest.
To the child herself the change from the Bradgate fields and parks to the London home of her new guardian must have been abrupt. Yet, though she may have felt bewildered and desolate in her new69 surroundings and separated from her two little sisters, her training at home had not been of a description to cause her overmuch regret at a parting from those responsible for it. It has been said that every child should dwell for a time within an Eden of its own, and with many men and women the recollection of the unclouded irrational joy belonging to a childhood surrounded by love and tenderness may have constituted in after years a pledge and a guarantee that happiness is possible, and that, in spite of sin and sorrow and suffering, the world is still, as God saw it at creation, very good. The garden in which little Jane’s childhood was passed was one of a different nature. “No lady,” says Fuller pitifully, “which led so many pious, lived so few pleasant days, whose soul was never out of the nonage of affliction till Death made her of full years to inherit happiness, so severe her education.” Her father’s house was to her a house of correction.56
Such being the case, the less regret can have mingled with the natural excitement of a child brought into wholly new conditions of life, and treated perhaps for the first time as a person of importance. Nor was it long before circumstances provided her with a home to which no exception could be taken. By June Seymour’s marriage with the Queen-Dowager had been made public.
In the interval, short though it was, that elapsed70 between the King’s death and the union of his widow and the Admiral, Seymour had had time, before committing himself to a renewal of his suit to Katherine, to attempt a more brilliant match. Henry had been scarcely a month dead before he addressed a letter, couched in the correct terms of conventional love-making, to the Princess Elizabeth, now fourteen. He wished, he wrote, that it were possible to communicate to the missive the virtue of rousing in her heart as much favour towards him as his was full of love for her, proceeding to pay the customary tribute to the beauty and charm, together with “a certain fascination I cannot resist,” by which he had been subjugated.
Elizabeth, at fourteen, was keen-witted enough to estimate aright the advantages offered by a marriage with the uncle of the reigning sovereign. Nor was she, perhaps, judging by what followed, indifferent to the personal attractions of this, her first suitor. Though a certain impression of vulgarity is conveyed, in spite of his magnificent voice and splendid appearance, by the Lord Admiral, a child twenty years younger than himself was not likely to detect, in the recognised Adonis of the Court, the presence of this somewhat indefinable attribute. In her eyes he was doubtless a dazzling figure; and though she replied by a polite refusal to entertain his addresses, it is said that she afterwards owed her step-mother a grudge for having discouraged71 her from accepting them. Her answer was, however, a model of maidenly modesty. She had, she stated, neither age nor inclination to think of marriage, and would never have believed that the subject would have been broached so soon after her father’s death. Two years at least must be passed in mourning, nor could she decide to become a wife before she had reached years of discretion.57
That problematical date would not be patiently awaited by a man intent upon building up without delay the fabric of his fortunes; and, denied the late King’s daughter, Seymour promptly fell back upon his wife. A graphic account of the beginning of his courtship is supplied by the Spanish chronicle, and, if not reliable for accuracy, the narrative no doubt represents what was believed in London, where the writer was resident. The question of the marriage had been, according to him, first mooted to the Council by the Protector, and though other authorities assert that the Duke was opposed to the match, both facts may be true. It is not inconceivable that, whilst he would have preferred that his brother should have looked less high for a wife, the possibility that Seymour might have obtained the hand of the King’s sister may have caused the Protector to regard with favour an arrangement putting a marriage with the Princess out of the question.
72At the Council Board it is said that the proposal received the approbation of the Chancellor. Cranmer, though characterising it as an act of disrespect to the memory of the late King, promised to interpose no obstacle. Paget, the Secretary, went further, engaging that his wife, in attendance on the Queen, should push the matter to the best of her ability.
After dinner one day, accordingly—to continue the narrative of the Spaniard—when the Queen, with all her ladies, was in the great hall of the palace, and the Lord Admiral entered, “looking so handsome that every one had something to say about him,” Lady Paget, taking her opportunity, made a whispered inquiry to the Queen as to her opinion of Seymour’s appearance. To which the Queen answered that she liked it very much—“oh, how changeable,” sighs the chronicler, “are women in that country!” Encouraged by Katherine’s reply, Lady Paget ventured to go further, and to hint at a marriage; answering, when the Queen replied by demurring on the score of her superior rank as Queen-Dowager, that to win so pretty a man you might well stoop. Katherine would, she added, continue to retain her royal title.58
The Queen did not prove difficult to persuade. If it is true that she had been cognisant of Seymour’s attempt to obtain the hand of her step-daughter, the fact might have warned her of the nature of the love73 he was offering to herself. But a woman in her state of mind is not accessible to reason. A little more than a month after Henry’s death the betrothal took place, the marriage following upon it in May, and the haste displayed giving singular proof of how far the Queen’s old passion had mastered prudence and discretion. The world was scandalised, and the King’s daughters in particular were strong in their disapproval; Mary, the more energetic of the two on this occasion, summoning her sister to visit her, that together they might devise means of preventing the impending insult to their father’s memory, or concert a method of making their attitude clear.
Elizabeth, though her objections to the match were probably, on personal grounds, stronger than those of her sister, was more cautious than Mary. The girl, or her advisers, may have been aware of the fact that opposition to the King’s uncle would be a dangerous course to be pursued by any one whose future was as ill assured as her own; and, in answer to her sister, she pointed out, though expressing her grief at the affair, that their sole consolation would lie in submission to the will of Providence, since neither was able to offer practical resistance to the project. Dissimulation, under these circumstances, would be their best policy. Mary might decline to visit the Queen, but in Elizabeth’s subordinate position she would herself be compelled74 to do so, her step-mother having shown her so much kindness.59
Despite public censure, despite the blame and disapproval of critics whose disapproval would carry more weight, Katherine may not at this time have regretted her defiance of conventional propriety; and those spring weeks, passed at her jointure palace in Chelsea, were probably the happiest of her life. The nightmare sense of insecurity, which can never have been wholly laid to rest so long as Henry lived, was removed; the price exacted for her royal dignity had been paid, to the uttermost farthing; and she was a free woman. Her old love for Seymour had re-awakened in full force, and she believed it was returned. Pious and prudent, Katherine had forgotten to be wise. Disillusionment might come later, but at present the future smiled upon her; and she may fairly have counted upon it to pay, at long last, the debts of the past.
Her letters, light and tender, grave and gay, indicate her mood as she awaited the day when she would take her place before the world as Seymour’s wife. Whether a marriage had already taken place, though kept private as a concession to public opinion, or whether it was still to come, there were secret meetings in the early spring mornings by the river, when the town was scarcely awake, the more welcome, it may be, because of the sense that they were stolen.
75“When it shall be your pleasure to repair hither,” wrote Kateryn the Quene—her invariable signature—to her lover, “ye must take some pains to come early in the morning, that ye may be gone again by seven o’clock; and so I suppose ye may come hither without suspect. I pray you let me have knowledge over-night at what hour ye will come, that your portress [herself] may wait at the gate of the fields for you.... By her that is, and shall be, your humble, true, and loving wife during her life.”
Poor, learned Katherine had fallen an unresisting victim, like any other common woman, to the gifts and attractions of the man who was to prove so unsatisfactory a husband!
By May 17, if not before, it is clear that the marriage had taken place, though the secret had been so closely kept that it was a surprise to the bridegroom to discover that it was known to the Queen’s own sister, Lady Herbert. On visiting the latter, he told Katherine in a letter of this date, she had charged him “touching my lodging with your Highness at Chelsea,” the Admiral stoutly maintaining that he had done no more than pass by the garden on his way to the house of the Bishop of London; “till at last she told me further tokens, which made me change colour,” and he had arrived at the conclusion that Lady Herbert had been taken into her sister’s confidence.
76Meantime the inconvenience of the present condition of things was evident; and to Mary—curiously enough, since her disapproval of the projected marriage had been so pronounced—Seymour applied for help which should enable him to put an end to it. Although he preserved the attitude of a mere suitor for the Queen’s hand, it may be that the Princess suspected that she was being consulted after the event. Her answer was not encouraging. Had the matter concerned her nearest kinsman and dearest friend it would, she told the Admiral, stand least with her poor honour than with any other creature to meddle in the affair, considering whose wife the Queen had lately been.
“If the remembrance of the King’s Majesty my father ... will not suffer her to grant your suit, I am nothing able to persuade her to forget the loss of him who is, as yet, very rife in mine own remembrance.” If, however, the Princess refused the assistance he begged, she assured him that, “wooing matters apart, wherein, being a maid, I am nothing cunning,” she would be ready in other things to serve him.
The young King, to whom recourse was next had, was found more accommodating; and indeed appears to have been skilfully convinced that it was by his persuasions that his step-mother had been induced to bestow her hand upon his uncle, writing to thank the Queen for her gentle acceptation77 of his suit. The boy, after Katherine’s death and her husband’s disgrace, gave an account of the methods used to obtain his intervention:
“The Lord Admiral came to me ... and desired me to write a thing for him. I asked him what. He said it was none ill thing; it is for the Queen’s Majesty. I said if it were good the Lords would allow it; if it were ill I would not write on it. Then he said they would take it in better part if I would write. I desired him to let me alone in that matter. Cheke said afterwards to me, ‘Ye were best not to write.’”60
The boy’s letter to the Queen proves that he had subsequently yielded to his uncle’s request; and in June the fact of the marriage became public property.
The progress of the love-affair will have been watched with interest by the curious and jealous eyes of Elizabeth, the half-grown girl, who, placed by the Council under her step-mother’s care at Chelsea, had ample opportunities of forming her conclusions. Lady Jane Grey may, not improbably, have been likewise a spectator of what was going forward. There is no evidence to show whether it was before or after the public avowal of the marriage that she took up her residence under the Queen’s roof. But, having obtained his point and gained her custody, it is not unreasonable to imagine that the Admiral may have found a child of ten an encumbrance78 in his household, and have taken the earliest opportunity of consigning her to Katherine’s care.
A passive asset as she was in the political reckoning, the debates concerning her guardianship must have done something to bring home to her mind the consciousness of her importance; and she had doubtless been made well aware of her title to consideration by the time that she became an honoured inmate of the Lord Admiral’s house. But concerning the details of her existence at this date history is dumb, and we can but guess at her attitude as, fresh from her country home, she watched, under the roof of her new guardian in Seymour Place, the life of the great city around; or within the more tranquil precincts of Chelsea Palace, with the broad river flowing past, shared in the studies and pursuits of her cousin Elizabeth, ready-witted, full of vitality, and already displaying some of the traits marking the Queen of future years.
Did the shadow of predestined and early death single little Jane out from her companions? Like the comrades of whom Maeterlinck tells, “children of precocious death,” possessing no friends amongst the playmates who were not about to die, did she stand in some sort apart and separate, regarding those around her with a grave smile? We build up the unrecorded days of childhood from the79 few short years that followed; and reading backwards, and fitting the fragments of a life into its place, we find it difficult to believe that Jane Grey’s laughter rang like that of other undoomed children through the pleasant Chelsea gardens, that she shared with a whole heart in the games of her playfellows, or that the strange seriousness of her youth did not envelope the small, sedate figure of the child.
80
CHAPTER VII
1547-1548Katherine Parr’s unhappy married life—Dissensions between the Seymour brothers—The King and his uncles—The Admiral and Princess Elizabeth—Birth of Katherine’s child, and her death.
THE belated idyll of love and happiness enjoyed by “Kateryn the Quene” was of pitifully short duration. During the first days of September 1548, some fifteen months after the stolen marriage at Chelsea, a funeral procession left Sudeley Castle, and the body of the wife of the Lord Admiral was carried forth to burial, Lady Jane Grey, his ward, then in her twelfth year, acting as chief mourner.61
Jane had good cause to mourn, in other than an official capacity. It is hard to believe that, had Katherine Parr been living, the child she had cared for and who had made her home under her roof, would not have been saved from the doom destined to overtake her not six years later.
Katherine’s dream had died before she did, and the period of her marriage, short though it was,81 must have been a time of rapid disillusionment. It could scarcely, taking the circumstances into account, have been otherwise. Seymour was not the man to make the happiness of a wife touching upon middle age, studious, learned, and devout, “avoiding all occasions of idleness, and contemning vain pastimes.”62 His love, if indeed it had been ever other than disguised ambition, was short-lived, and Katherine’s awakening must have come all too swiftly.
Nor was the revelation of her husband’s true character her only cause of trouble. Minor vexations had, from the first, attended her new condition of life, and she had been made to feel that the wife of the Protector’s younger brother could not expect to enjoy the deference due to a Dowager-Queen. To Katherine, who clung to her former dignity, the loss of it was no light matter, and her sister-in-law, the Duchess of Somerset, and she were at open war.
Contemporary and early writers are agreed as to the nature of the woman with whom she had to deal. “The Protector,” explains the Spanish chronicler, giving the popular version of the affair, “had a wife who was prouder than he was, and she ruled the Protector so completely that he did whatever she wished, and she, finding herself in such great state, became more presumptuous than Lucifer.”63 Hayward attributes the subsequent disunion between the brothers, in the first place,82 to “the unquiet vanity of a mannish, or rather a devilish woman ... for many imperfections intolerable, but for pride monstrous”;64 whilst Heylyn represents the Duchess as observing that, if Mr. Admiral should teach his wife no better manners, “I am she that will.”65
The struggle for precedence carried on between the wives could scarcely fail to have a bad effect upon the relationship of the husbands, already at issue upon graver questions; and Warwick, Somerset’s future rival, was at hand to foment the strife between Protector and Admiral, and, “secretly playing with both hands,” paved the way for the fall of the younger brother and the consequent weakening of the forces which barred the way to the attainment of his personal ambitions.
From LADY JANE GREY AND HER TIMES By I. A. TAYLOR
Author of “Queen Hortense
This Stromberg WA3-219 ("Model W") 1bbl carburetor was original equipment as a production option to the Carter BBS and Holley 1920 on 1963 (only) Dodge and Plymouth B-body (only) cars with 225 engine and automatic transmission (only). No variant of this carb was used on any other year or model. I don't know why this was done, nor does it make any sense for Chrysler to have spent what must have been an enormous sum in tooling for such a low-volume carburetor. Was there some kind of a strike at Carter and/or Holley that reduced the available volume of carburetors? It is worth noting that this carb has the largest venturi of any 1bbl used as factory equipment on a slant-6. I've tried a few of these over the years, but have never gotten one to run quite right. Kits and parts are almost nonexistent.
This eel-like gunnel was identified by it's fairly large pectoral fin (on the other gunnels, this fin is tiny to nonexistent), overall color, and habitat. This species comes in an array of colors, from green to brown and is especially common in tidepools. Unfortunately, the diagnostic dark bar below the fish's eyes isn't visible in any of the photos.
Mendon Ponds Park is owned and very poorly maintained by the County of Monroe, NY.
Unfortunately, this extraordinary property is rapidly deteriorating due to an egregious lack of care. Trails are not cleared of debris... signs are useless. Park maintenance is essentially nonexistent. They do have a marketing department. Seriously, the taxpayers are paying the salaries of a county parks marketing department.
Email Mendon Ponds Park complaints to: countyexecutive@monroecounty.gov
Storm, my Honda Civic Sedan LX 2019, just enjoying a lovely December sunset this evening. Simply beautiful... Rain may be nonexistent for quite a while but at least nature still provides these fiery sunset displays for us to enjoy! Pic taken from by the 900 McCarthy Blvd building around Milpitas, CA. This was just a minute or so away from my work. (Thursday around sunset, December 3, 2020; 5:01 p.m.)
*"When the sun starts setting, it’s hard not to think about how amazing your bed would feel like after such a long day. You may have a few lingering thoughts about work, school, or about your business. That’s normal. You’ll probably start wondering if there’s anything you forgot to do today. You may also recount all the things that happened. Some memories will make you smile, while others will make you cringe in regret. The important thing now is that in a few moments, you will finally be able to lie against the familiar smell of your own pillows and sheets. Hopefully, you’ll dream good dreams after that...
Mendon Ponds Park is owned and very poorly maintained by the County of Monroe, NY.
Unfortunately, this extraordinary property is rapidly deteriorating due to an egregious lack of care. Trails are not cleared of debris... signs are useless. Park maintenance is essentially nonexistent. They do have a marketing department. Seriously, the taxpayers are paying the salaries of a county parks marketing department.
Email Mendon Ponds Park complaints to: countyexecutive@monroecounty.gov
I think this is a sightseeing boat on the Charles. It appears to be empty right now, so the nonexistent tourists are missing the view of the Hancock tower. The boat is named the Henry Longfellow, and it is heading toward its namesake bridge.
This is my first image out of my Nikon D600 that I have been able to edit directly in RAW/Lightroom.
RAW support is only in beta, so don't expect much... shadow recovery is pretty much nonexistent. But, lens correction is back again, and it's wonderful to be back into an efficient workflow.
This is a park bench on the Songhees walkway in Victoria's Inner Harbour. I didn't expect to catch the end of this sunset, so you can really spot the banding in the sky that resulted from pushing the exposure (rather than pushing the shadows).
There are two blue orbs in this one. This is a 13 second exposure so a plane or flying bird or bat would be nonexistent or a line in the sky. The blue is not a hot pixel it is too big. I don't think college students were climbing Davis Hall either. Luminescent rats? Discuss!
A common feature of the northern river, where the Army Corp of Engineers, in the 1970s, tried to straighten the river channel to speed barge traffic on the river. Barge traffic is all but nonexistent on the river today, though the dykes and their effects on the river remain.
This was the first project our class completed in Photography. Our goal was to take 36 different images and create a contact sheet based on these pictures. I tried my best to take as many different pictures I could. Some of the pictures I took are similar in subject but they were taken of different things, such as the pictures of the plants I took. These pictures have a similar subject but are two different plants. We were also supposed to show that we knew how to rename our photos and log the pictures we took by writing down the aperture and shutter speed.
My three favorite images I took were 13, 19, and 36. I like image 13 because it reminds me of the pictures of flowers my dad would take on his phone. This image is also in focus and I think it looks really good. I like image 19 for some of the same reasons I listed above, it is in focus. I like how the center light is the main focus of the image and the other lights are out of focus. I also like how the image shows one light out of the many lights that are strung over my backyard. I think it shows how something can be an individual while also being a part of a bigger picture. Picture 36 is one of my favorites because of the way it has two subjects. The image is focused on the table and chairs but my dog is in the foreground of the picture. One can choose to look at the dog or the table, which causes an intentional split of focus that I like. The images I did not like were 7, 15, and 25. I do not like image 7 because it is a bit blurry and out of focus, to put it simply, I do not think this image looks good. Image 15 is not a good image because I let in too much light for this picture. I spent a bit of time trying to get the shutter speed and aperture right for this image, but it still came out bad. Finally, I think image 25 is bad because I think it is a stupid picture. It is just a picture of a pillow with weird lighting; there was no reason for this picture to be created. The image is in focus, but I think the purpose behind the image is nonexistent.
During this project I gained a basic understanding of how to operate a manual camera. Obviously, there is still a lot more to learn, but if someone asked me to use one, I believe I could properly use it. I had a certain method when taking a picture. This method would be to take the same picture multiple times while changing the aperture and shutter speed each time. I would do this until I got a picture that I thought looked good. I used this process for many of the pictures I took for this project. While doing this project I also learned that I like pictures that have the subject in focus more than wider pictures that are not as in focus. Overall, this project was a fun experience for me and I am interested in finding out what our next project will be.
If you can ride Fort Lauderdale surf, you can surf in your bath tub. The waves are small and choppy. The ride is short. This guy managed to work an all but nonexistent Fort Lauderdale wave for a 100 meter ride. No small achievement.
Note the remarkable resemblance to the Standee???-Rincewind's magical ability is almost nonexistent. He never passed an exam at Unseen University. The highest score he received was 2% for spelling his name right. It has been estimated that when Rincewind dies, the average magical ability for the species will go up a fraction. What he cannot spell right, apparently, is his job description, because he has WIZZARD written in large letters on his pointy hat. The reason for this incompetence lies within an incident where he opened the Octavo and one of the great eight spells of the creator jumped out and settled down in his brain. This spell frightened off any other spells which Rincewind tried to learn. Nevertheless, he managed to do some impressive magic on very few occasions most often without his consent, although once he was able to mentally unlock a door through apparently no efforts or powers but his own (albeit at great strain)
A Red Ear Slider is measured for Sidney Woodruff's research in the Arboretum on June 8, 2022.
The project involves assisting Dr. Brian Todd and Ph.D. Student Sidney Woodruff in a research study evaluating how native species respond to the removal of non-native species and waterway restoration. The research objectives are to investigate the abundance and population demography of the native Western pond turtle (Actineymys marmorata) and population response in growth and demography from the removal of non-native red-eared sliders. Natural populations of the Western pond turtle are found in the UC Davis Arboretum where red-eared sliders occupy the same ecological niche in high densities. Natural populations of Western pond turtles are found in the nearby South Fork of Putah Creek where the presence of non-native turtles is extremely low or nonexistent. This work can highlight the importance of waterway restoration in building a more resilient ecosystem while supporting the recovery and conservation of native species.
Providing this opportunity will allow undergraduate students to be involved in wildlife conservation research under the supervision of a graduate student mentor and PI while also supporting the objectives of this study and the restoration of the UC Davis Arboretum.
The wind was almost nonexistent so I got plenty of practice panning left to right and vice versa. Calm water made for wonderful reflections.
We spent New Year's Eve in Tel Aviv, where the weight of religion, so prevalent in Jerusalem, seems absolutely nonexistent.
Were it not for quite a few F-16 flying over the sea toward the Gaza Strip, we might actually have felt like in a different country altogether.
One of the main sites visited by almost every tour to Egypt is what is billed as Philae, but Philae is actually a nonexistent island now buried beneath Lake Nasser. The island was sometimes visible and sometimes not after the Old Aswan Dam was built, but was permanently submerged by the High Dam. Read more at www.touregypt.net/featurestories/Philae.htm
Mendon Ponds Park is owned and very poorly maintained by the County of Monroe, NY.
Unfortunately, this extraordinary property is rapidly deteriorating due to an egregious lack of care. Trails are not cleared of debris... signs are useless. Park maintenance is essentially nonexistent. They do have a marketing department. Seriously, the taxpayers are paying the salaries of a county parks marketing department.
Email Mendon Ponds Park complaints to: countyexecutive@monroecounty.gov
Mendon Ponds Park is owned and very poorly maintained by the County of Monroe, NY.
Unfortunately, this extraordinary property is rapidly deteriorating due to an egregious lack of care. Trails are not cleared of debris... signs are useless. Park maintenance is essentially nonexistent. They do have a marketing department. Seriously, the taxpayers are paying the salaries of a county parks marketing department.
Email Mendon Ponds Park complaints to: countyexecutive@monroecounty.gov