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Tune: EPMD - Da Joint
Uh, EPMD, huh
Check it, uh
I make a million buck every six months and y'all
Hating my game, saying my name, they call
Me the E, wrong things, knowing I'm fly without wings
While some of y'all have to pull strings
In this era, I maintain the freak upon the beats
Master baselines of Raphael Saadiq
Lyrical mastermind, a genius so don't snooze
No missions impossible, ask Tom Cruise
I keep a joint lit when I have to spit
A rough paragraph, laugh when I'm busting your ass
Who want it? Come and see me like 112
And I'll rock that bell with Fox and L
E-Dub, Mr Excitement, right
The poltergeist of rap so come to the light
Yes, the recipient of this award goes to moi
The best qualified superstar
My squad stays on point like
Den en den den de den, it's the joint
Yeah, my squad stay on point like
Den en den den de den, it's the joint
New York, I'm in your area (over here)
DC, I'm in your area (over here)
New Jers, I'm in your area (over here)
EPMD is a world premier
It's the joint, stay on point, plus I'm feeling it
Niggas killin' shit tryna duplicate the manuscript
That's impossible, pray like the gospel
Overcoming set backs, and jumping over obstacles
Like Evil Kenevil, on point like a needle
EPMDs' like the Beatles, back with another sequel
To hip hop, check, one-two and you don't stop
Rap with mainstream R&B and pop
Now the world's shocked, E-doubles back with Mic-Doc
Like it or not, we 'bout to turn it up another notch
Mach speed, put it down for my seeds
Raw breeds, acres with the deeds, it's the joint
My squad stays on point like
Den en den den de den, it's the joint
Yeah, my squad stay on point like
Den en den den de den, it's the joint
VA, I'm in your area (over here)
DA, I'm in your area (over here)
Chi-Town, I'm in your area (over here)
EPMD is a world premier
Uh, My styles digable, so I'm phat like that
I got a Benz too, and it's black like that
I got millions of chips, and they stack like that
A five year spread and now we back like that
How dandy, niggas sittin' in they room with Brandy
Way pissed off thinkin' how the can't stand me
He rhyme Shawn for his Penn, talking
Not lookin', shooken, a dead man walkin'
You know me, from rippin' shows wit my homie
The one and only, Ginuwine like Pony
You wanna ride? Then call me up when you're lonely
I'm Parish Smith the shit, Great like Tony
I'm hittin'-hittin' (where from?)
From Brentwood to San Quentin
I'ma keep rhymin', still representin' (for who?)
For my niggas up north and in the courts
And to the emcees takin' no shorts, in this blood sport
My squad stays on point like
Den en den den de den, it's the joint
Yeah, my squad stay on point like
Den en den den de den, it's the joint
Detroit, I'm in your area (over here)
Cali, I'm in your area (over here)
Philly, I'm in your area (over here)
EPMD is a world premier
The last time I photographed a Class 91 in Swallow Livery I had hair!
91119 "Intercity 50" rounds the curves at Retford with 1S15. Looking superb and a credit to Bounds Green.
My lovely Elizabeth playing Emcee for the Garden of Delilah show. She was looking HOT that night.
Cropped out a railing and adjusted color and light a bit. Added border and watermark. Cheers!
Nikon D90 | Nikkor 50mm f/1.4 | f/1.7 | 1/500 sec | ISO 200
West-German postcard by top-Schlagertextheft. Photo: Ariola.
Bruce Low (1913-1990) was a Dutch schlager and gospel singer and actor who had an impressive career in West Germany and Austria.
Bruce Low was born Ernst Gottfried Bielke on a coffee plantation in Paramaribo, Surinam - then part of The Netherlands in 1913. He spent his childhood in Surinam together with his three sisters and brother. Their father, Hermann Moritz Bielke, worked as a missionary with the Herrnhuter Brüdergemeine. Their mother Lydia née Reusch was born in Hong Kong, her father came from Württemberg and was also a missionary. From 1921, Bruce attended grammar school in Zeist, the Netherlands, played tenor saxophone in the school jazz band and was a member of the local church choir. After his final exams in 1932, he studied sports at the Deutsche Hochschule für Leibesübungen (DHfL) in Berlin. But a serious injury while trampolining put an end to his studies as a sports teacher. Instead, he took singing lessons from the singing teacher Jacques Stückgold at the Hochschule für Musik. Low continued his studies in the Netherlands and also sang in a chamber choir. His performing career only took shape after the war. He organised shows for the Americans in the Netherlands, contracted music groups, was an emcee and sang spiritual songs, also for the radio. As a result, he was hired in 1949 for a show with African folk songs in Vienna. He appeared in front of the audience dressed as a black man with blackface in the Al Johnson manner and received an offer for a recording contract. His first records contained Western-style cowboy songs, such as '(Ghost) Riders in the Sky' and 'Heimweh nach Virginia'. In 1950, the man with the sonorous bass voice had his first success in Germany with 'Leise rauscht es am Missouri''. In 1953, more hits followed, such as 'So viel Wind und keine Sege'(So Much Wind and No Sail)" and his legendary 'Tabak und Rum' (Tobacco and Rum). Two years later, 'Das alte Haus von Rocky Docky', the cover version of 'This Ole House' became a box office hit. In 1956 he took third place in the newly created German Hit Parade with "Wenn die Sonne scheint in Texas" and climbed to second place with "Und es weht der Wind". His interpretation of the legendary hit "Es hängt ein Pferdehalfter an der Wand", a cover version of Carson Robison's song 'There's a Bridle Hangin' on the Wall', with which the Dutch band Kilima Hawaiians had already caused a furore in Germany in 1953, became his greatest success.
In 1958 Bruce Low took part in the preliminaries for the Eurovision Song Contest in the Netherlands, with 'Neem Dat Maar Aan Van Mij' but came in 10th. Bruce Low also made several guest appearances as a singer in the popular German-language musical entertainment films of the 1950s and 1960s, for example in Königin der Arena/Queen of the Arena (Rolf Meyer, 1952) with Maria Litto and Hans Söhnker, Wenn am Sonntagabend die Dorfmusik spielt/When The Village Music Plays on Sunday Nights (Rudolf Schündler, 1953) starring Rudolf Prack, or the operetta adaptation Blume von Hawaii/The Flower of Hawaii (Géza von Cziffra, 1953) starring Maria Litto. He also performed his hit songs in several Schlager films. As an actor he appeared in the successful drama Die endlose Nacht/The Endless Night (Will Tremper, 1963) a wounderful one-night-at-the-airport film with Karin Hübner and Harald Leipnitz. He later also appeared in two other films by Tremper, the comedy Sperrbezirk/Sperrbezirk, the business of immorality (Will Tremper, 1966) with Harald Leipnitz and Mir hat es immer Spaß gemacht/How Did a Nice Girl Like You Get Into This Business? (Will Tremper, 1970) starring Playboy bunny Barbi Benton and Broderick Crawford. After the stage musical 'Kiss me Kate' in the German translation by Marcel Prawy became an extraordinary success in the Wiener Volksoper, Prawy went to work on the Leonard Bernstein musical 'Wonderful Town' (1956), also in the Wiener Volksoper. Bruce Low played the lead role of Bob Baker as Olive Moorefield's partner.
The advancing rock and roll wave seemed to end his career, so Bruce Low started writing articles for the Munich magazine Jasmin under the pseudonym Thomas Gallauner. At the "Karl May Festival in Berlin he portrayed Old Shatterhand in 'Winnetou' (1966) and 'Der Schatz im Silbersee' (1968), alongside Gustavo Rojo as Winnetou. At the beginning of the 1970s, his voice was in demand again and he performed mainly new, partly traditional gospels. With songs such as 'Noah' (1971), 'Das Kartenspiel' (1974) and 'Die Legende von Babylon' (1978), he hit the charts once more. He appeared as a guest in several television broadcasts and was asked as a presenter for circus broadcasts. He also had several appearances in the ZDF quiz show Der große Preis. He returned to the cinemas in several films by Rainer Werner Fassbinder. First, he played in the TV two-parter Welt am Draht/World on a Wire (Rainer Werner Fassbinder, 1973) and later in the films Faustrecht der Freiheit/Fox and His Friends (Rainer Werner Fassbinder, 1975) and Die Ehe der Maria Braun/The Wedding of Maria Braun (Rainer Werner Fassbinder, 1979) starring Hanna Schygulla. In 1976 he participated again in the preliminaries of the Eurovision Song Contest, now in West Germany, with the song 'Der Jahrmarkt unserer Eitelkeit' (The Fair of Our Vanity). However, he only reached 9th place among twelve participants and the Les Humphries Singers participated for Germany with "Sing Sang Song and reached 12th place. In the 1980s it became quieter again around the singer. Two years before his death, he published his memoirs under the title: 'Es hängt ein Pferdehalfter an der Wand - das Lied meines Lebens'. In 1990, Bruce Lowe died after a long illness at the age of 76 in a Munich hospital. At his own request, the artist, who was married to wife Marion, had his body cremated and scattered in a meadow in the Netherlands.
Sources: Stephanie D'Heil (Steffi-Line - German), Wikipedia (Dutch and German), and IMDb.
And, please check out our blog European Film Star Postcards.
British postcard by Dixon-Lotus Production, no. L6/8705, 1969. Photo: Spitfire Productions Ltd. Publicity still for Battle of Britain (Guy Hamilton, 1969). Caption: Appearing in uniform for the first time in the film The Battle of Britain is lovely Susannah York. She portrays Section Officer Maggie Harvey, one of the W.A.A.F. heroines of the sixteen weeks summer battle of 1940.
Lovely and free-spirited English film, stage and television actress Susannah York (1939-2011) epitomised the sensuality of the swinging Sixties. Her appearances in various hit films of the 1960s formed the basis of her international reputation. She was awarded a BAFTA as Best Supporting Actress for They Shoot Horses, Don't They? (1969) and was nominated for an Oscar and Golden Globe for the same film. For Images, she won the Best Actress award at the 1972 Cannes Film Festival.
Susannah York was born Susannah Yolande Fletcher in Chelsea, London, in 1939. She was the younger daughter of Simon William Peel Vickers Fletcher, a merchant banker and steel magnate, and his first wife, the former Joan Nita Mary Bowring. They married in 1935 and divorced prior to 1943. York had an elder sister, as well as a half-brother, Eugene. In early 1943, her mother married a Scottish businessman, Adam M. Hamilton, and moved, with her daughter, to a remote village in Scotland. At the age of 11 York entered Marr College in Troon, Ayrshire. Later she became a boarder at Wispers School in the Sussex village of Stedham. At 13 she was expelled from Wispers after admitting to a nude midnight swim in the school pool, and she transferred to East Haddon Hall in Northamptonshire. Enthusiastic about her experiences of acting at school (she had played an Ugly Sister in Cinderella at the age of nine), York first decided to apply to the Glasgow College of Dramatic Art; but after her mother had separated from her stepfather and moved to London, she instead auditioned for the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts (RADA). There she won the Ronson award for most promising student before graduating in 1958. She then performed classical repertory and pantomime in her early professional career. In 1959, York married Michael Wells, with whom she had two children, daughter Sasha (born May 1972) and son Orlando (born June 1973). They divorced in 1976. She made an impression on television in a production of The Crucible (1959) as Abigail Williams opposite Sean Connery as John Proctor. Her film career began with the drama Tunes of Glory (Ronald Neame, 1960), co-starring with Alec Guinness and John Mills. She also appeared in the Norman Wisdom comedy There Was a Crooked Man (Stuart Burge, 1960). The following year, she played the leading role in the coming-of age drama The Greengage Summer (Lewis Gilbert, 1961), which co-starred Kenneth More and Danielle Darrieux. Next, she performed in the American film Freud: The Secret Passion (John Huston, 1962) with Montgomery Clift as Austrian psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud. The pseudobiographical drama compresses the years it took Freud to develop his psychoanalytic theories into what seems like a few months. Nearly every neurotic symptom imaginable manifests itself in one patient, Cecily Koertner (York), who is sexually repressed, hysterical, and fixated on her father. Then, York played brazenly seductive Sophie Western in the bawdy and robust 18th century tale Tom Jones (Tony Richardson, 1963) opposite Albert Finney as the bed-hopping title rogue. Henry Fielding's classic novel was adapted for the screen by playwright John Osborne. It became one of the most critically acclaimed and popular comedies of its time, winning the Oscar for Best Film and three other Oscars and three BAFTA awards. Tom Jones was the third most popular at the British box office in 1963, and the 4th most popular in the United States. York also appeared in the crime film Kaleidescope (Jack Smight, 1966) opposite Warren Beatty, the biographical drama and Academy Award winner A Man for All Seasons (Fred Zinnemann, 1966) with Paul Scofield as Thomas More, the groundbreaking lesbian drama The Killing of Sister George (Robert Aldrich, 1968), and the Second World War film Battle of Britain (Guy Hamilton, 1969). Gary Brumburgh at IMDb: “Free-spirited and unreserved, she had no trouble at all courting controversy in some of the film roles she went on to play.”
Susannah York was nominated for a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for They Shoot Horses, Don't They? (Sydney Pollack, 1969). The screenplay by James Poe and Robert E. Thompson is based on the 1935 novel of the same name by Horace McCoy. It focuses on a disparate group of characters desperate to win a Depression-era dance marathon and the opportunistic emcee (Gig Young) who urges them on to victory. It also stars Jane Fonda, Michael Sarrazin, and Bruce Dern. Young won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor, while Fonda and York were nominated for the Academy Awards for Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress respectively. York lost to Goldie Hawn for her role in Cactus Flower. The next year, she co-starred with George C. Scott as Edward Rochester in the TV-adaptation of Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre (Delbert Mann, 1970), and was Emmy-nominated for her beautifully nuanced role. She then played opposite Peter O'Toole in Country Dance (J. Lee Thompson, 1970). In 1972, she won the Best Actress award at the Cannes Film Festival for her role in the British-American psychological horror film Images (Robert Altman, 1972). She played a schizophrenic housewife, engulfed by terrorizing apparitions. She kills off each, unknowing if these demons are merely figments of her hallucinatory imagination or part of reality. The film was nominated for a Golden Globe award for Best English-Language Foreign Film, but was not a commercial success. York focused on her personal life, raising her two children for a time. She wrote two children's fantasy novels, In Search of Unicorns (1973, revised 1984) which was excerpted in the film Images, and Lark's Castle (1976, revised 1986). On screen, she played Lara, the mother of Superman (Christopher Reeve) in the blockbuster Superman (Richard Donner, 1978) and its sequels, Superman II (Richard Lester, 1980) and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (Sidney J. Furie, 1987). However, while she poured out a number of quality work assignments in films and television, York failed to recapture the glow of her earlier screen career. The actress decided to move to the theatre and appeared in 1978 at the New End Theatre in London in The Singular Life of Albert Nobbs with Lucinda Childs, directed by French director Simone Benmussa. This was the first of 10 projects she completed with the producer Richard Jackson. The following year, she appeared in Paris, speaking French in a play by Henry James: Appearances, with Sami Frey. The play was again directed by Benmussa. York made extensive appearances in British television series, including Prince Regent (Ian Curteis, 1979), as Maria Fitzherbert, the clandestine wife of the future George IV, and We'll Meet Again (Tony Wharmby a.o., 1982).
In the 1980s, Susannah York played on stage in Simone Benmussa’s For No Good Reason, an adaptation of George Moore's short story, with Susan Hampshire. In 1984, York starred as Mrs. Cratchit in A Christmas Carol (Clive Donner, 1984), based on the novel by Charles Dickens. George C. Scott starred as Ebenezer Scrooge, and both of her children co-starred as Cratchit offspring. In 1985 she appeared on stage in Fatal Attraction by Bernard Slade at the Theatre Royal Haymarket. In 1991, she was appointed an Officier de l'Ordre des Arts et des Lettres (Officer of the Order of Arts and Letters) by French culture minister Jack Lang. In 1992, she was a member of the jury at the 42nd Berlin International Film Festival. In 2003, York had a recurring role as hospital manager Helen Grant in BBC’s medical drama series Holby City. She reprised this role in two episodes of Holby City's sister series Casualty in 2004. In 2007, she appeared in the UK tour of The Wings of the Dove, and continued performing her internationally well received solo show, The Loves of Shakespeare's Women. Also in 2007, she guest starred in the Doctor Who audio play Valhalla. She was a patron of the Children's Film Unit and appeared in several of their films. Politically, she was left-wing and publicly supported Mordechai Vanunu, the Israeli dissident who revealed Israel's nuclear weapons programme. While performing The Loves of Shakespeare's Women at the Cameri Theatre in Tel Aviv in June 2007, York dedicated the performance to Vanunu, evoking both cheers and jeers from the audience. In 2007, she also became the grandmother of Rafferty, child of her son Orlando. In 2008, she played the part of Nelly in a stage adaptation by April De Angelis of Wuthering Heights. In 2009, she starred alongside Jos Vantyler in the Tennessee Williams season at the New End Theatre, London for which she received critical acclaim. In 2010, York was diagnosed with cancer, but she refused chemotherapy in order to honour a contractual obligation to appear as Jean in Ronald Harwood's Quartet, at the Oxford Playhouse in August 2010. It was her last stage appearance. Her final film was The Calling (Jan Dunn, 2009) with Brenda Blethyn and Emily Beecham. In 2011, Susannah York died at the Royal Marsden Hospital in London from multiple myeloma, six days after her 72nd birthday.
Sources: Gary Brumburgh (IMDb), Wikipedia and IMDb.
VIDEO: www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5ynNj3eIiw
••• SCRIPT/LYRICS: •••
(*Intro music: "Hail to the Chief" by The Four Squeezins*)
The Once-ler: Salutations, gentlemen, ladies and assorted Seussian monstrosities.
This is history's most inexplicably likable…
(*Hexxus is shown*)
…Second-most-inexplicably likable harbinger of mass-deforestation, the Once-ler speaking; hold your applause now, Tumblrites.
While I'm neither attempting to build and maintain an industrial empire with zero foresight regarding resource depletion nor hiding myself away in shame over the destruction I've caused because I, again, apparently have no idea how to keep a resource that quite literally grows on trees renewable, I watch two shows: Game of Thrones and Gotham… oh, and House of Cards.
Also, some little wrinkly guy has paid me to advertise his own crappy series, Moleman's Epic Ra-
…Wait a minute, what the Hell am I doing? I'm a Dr. Seuss character, for crying out loud; this thing ought to be in rhyme!
Dr. Seuss: Oh, how convenient; now he suddenly cares about accurately honoring my work…
The Once-ler: Hit it!
Yo, prepare to see a side of me even the film kept hidden;
Keep you pocket change and snail shells, too, 'cause y'all have free admission
To the show I'm putting on when I let grow my flow today!
Forget a Thneed; what you all really need's to heed what I've to say:
Even that fuzzy orange guy approves!
The Lorax: What? No I don't, asshole!
Once-ler: Whatevs; keep ranting 'bout the trees. I'm busy speaking for the Mole,
Who's biggering his rap empire: six new battles' seeds are planted,
With fat kids, twins and wall-builders; baby, this'll be gigantic!
Sucker emcees getting chopped right down and flattened like pancakes,
It's gonna be survival of the fittest; I can hardly wait!
Unlike my Aesop, they won't compromise on lyric quality,
And as for audio, well, riddle me this: how bad can it be?
Get… off… my… TRACK!
Garrosh Hellscream:
Prepare to scream like Hell; Grom's son's laying devastation!
I'm Warchief of the True Horde, and true host of this presentation,
With a true warrior's heart and, failing that, an ancient monster's!
You're a Thrall to your wack family like your movie to its sponsors:
Shilling Mazda was as damning of a deal as fiend-blood-drinking;
Thus, I intervene with this offensive Warsong I be singing!
This is mic-Mak'gora, yo, and though my words have not been poisoned,
Of your goring when I howl them, there can still be no avoidance!
I'm the orc-supreme, so suck it, Azog; you too, Ironhide!
Go lift yourself away; become a shaman. I'll fill in as guide
To the next expansion of the rapping-craft world,
Featuring child-eaters, lesbians and dead Russian girls;
Moleman's left naught a Blank Space on his invite list!
Now, I'll say this just once, Once-ler; YOU ARE DISMISSED!
Aku:
…And on this very date in time, and right upon this very spot,
I, Aku, unleashed an unspeakably dope verse, and spat it hot!
It's no tea party when I show: I'm one far cry from Zuko's buddy;
Twenty-Sixteen marks my rebirth with free rein to make things bloody!
Ask the dinosaurs how hard I shake things up when I appear;
I'm just about the only shadow that it's sensible to fear!
You've not a fragment of the strength of this fragment of utter darkness;
Earth's worst scourge since birth, my name attests: I'm pure evil incarnate!
Making moot your petty feud like I did border immigration,
I'll troll Garrosh harder than when they selected his replacement!
What my fairy stories lack, I compensate for with these rhymes;
Try stepping to me, and your tales will end as sadly as X9's!
Even Aku's Achoo's a hazard! Now, I could just kill you losers,
But I've heard Hellscream likes time-warps, and so: have fun in the future!
Once-ler, Garrosh: Noooooooooooooooowoowoowoowoowoo- (*POP*)
Aku: …There, that takes care of those buffoons, at least for the time being; now, as I, being the actual host of this video, have been meaning to say: Moleman's Epic Rap Battles is on the rise yet again, with an all-new batch of battles featuring such characters as Dea-
(*Dun, dun, dun…*)
T. E. Lawrence:
I made waves in World War One!
(*Dun, dun, dun…*)
I'm Lawrence of Arabia,
Who takes no prisoners while massacring jerks with raps;
The Allies won't screw my dreams over here, and neither will your ass!
I missed my cue to reach Damascus, but I spit with perfect timing;
Thomas needn't help me get attention when it comes to rhyming!
It's as obvious as the "twist" when you tried posing as female:
Contrasting with my actor's Oscar noms, I'm destined to prevail!
In fact, I'll ask one of my Arab homies: how's that scripture read?
Gwonam: Well, it is written: only Lawrence can defeat Aku.
Lawrence: Agreed!
I'll hardly mind your hurtful words, but mine will cut you down to size:
Watch me extinguish your regime before match-cutting to sunrise!
Man, you look like your mama screwed with a Kor'kron Annihilator!
You're unfit to talk about the coming fights with Wizards, skaters,
A returning space-dictator and a band all being included!
Unlike getting knighted by King George, though, I'll be glad to do it.
Remy LeBeau:
Well, you'd best be glad to fold 'em when in comes this martial master
With Uncanny vocal talent; that's why I was on X-Factor!
My whole brain's intact, my full deck's stacked, and I'm too hot to handle;
Rolling solo as I steal this show, this time I won't get cancelled!
I went through worse than your war days 'fore being old enough to drive;
My flow'll make you crash and burn like this was Nineteen Thirty-Five!
I forge Apocalyptic verses, even out of Horseman mode:
Lyrics so charged with energy, they're prone to make a mic explode!
Tatum'll kill it when he steps up as this mutant casanova;
Sitting through your Kitschy film, though, damn-near put me in a coma!
I'd've just made out with Rogue, had I known I'd be risking that,
But see more pussy than your "love life" when I feed my Disney cats!
If you think you're on par with me, your skulls are thicker than my accent;
I'm a loyal heir of thieves, but you can call me your assassin!
As for aces up in sleeves, this ragin' Cajun has the most;
The slickest Gambit since the master-strokes of- (*ZIP, TUMBLE, THUD*)
Garrosh Hellscream: …Ugh… where are we; what year is it?
The Once-ler: …Um… I think we just got sent forward a couple minutes.
Aku: Oh dear… I guess all those years of being off the air really have taken their toll…
Lawrence: Hey now, that's no excuse for losing your touch; after all, I've been dead for seven decades, and I'm clearly not letting that get to me here!
Remy LeBeau: …So, um, I guess this means the rap is over, and we, having each gotten our chance to shine, all win, eh?
Aw, quite a nice dream, that… but dreams, of course, are meant to be…
Julian Robotnik:
Broken's how you'll wish I'd left you once this coup d'état's complete,
And you're helplessly watching your own metal forms bow to my feet!
The maniac who blew the Planet of the Furries up to Hell,
It's Doomsday when my ghastly voice projects; my Cumming's your death knell!
You'll face EndGame upon being met with my Roboticizer's jolt:
It'll give Lawrence his most drastic overhaul since Robert Bolt!
Watch Draenor's chieftains flee when this Warlord steps into the arena.
Remy, I'll rock your whole hometown as if my name were Katrina!
What's Aku's grip on the world next to my literal steel fist?
Compared to me, Once-ler's a radical environmentalist!
Just ask my nephew how heartless I am; he'll be your next-door neighbor,
Once I knead your bodies into blocks for holding down my papers!
Of all blights on Mobius, only Ken Penders' crimes are more,
And now, just like my robo-self, I'm on a cross-zone conquest tour!
As for the Freedom Fighters, let's just say: I've taught them not to talk shit;
Thus, I let the princess sum up their new creed…
Mecha-Sally Acorn: VIVE LA RÉSISTANCE, YOU FAT FUCK!
(*SLASH*)
(*Robotnik lies bleeding on the floor before Sally, as everyone else looks on in awe…*)
Robotnik: But… but how?
Sally: What, how have I regained my free will? To be honest, I'm not quite sure, but I'm guessing it probably has something to do with the fact that I am Princess Sally Alicia Goddamn Acorn, bitch!
Robotnik: Grr… I should have expected as much from a Mary Sue such as yourse- (*SPLAT*)
Sally: Alright folks, the bottom line is this: there's going to be six more battles in Season 3, after which Season 4 will kick off with an all-new matchup featuring yours truly against someone besides a certain blue robot.
Announcer: WAIT, WHAT? THAT'S NOT PART OF THE PLAN… AND FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, SAL, YOU'VE ALREADY GONE TWICE; ISN'T THAT ENOUGH?
Sally: Maybe it would be, if both those battles didn't suck in the audio department, and if not for the fact that you let me get roboticized again!
Announcer: WELL, SEEING AS YOU'RE STILL YOUR, ERM, VIRTUOUS SELF, I'D FRANKLY CALL IT AN IMPROVEMENT, IF ANYTHING… BESIDES, WHAT IF I DECLINE?
Sally: (*Draws arm-blades*)
Announcer: POINT TAKEN!
(*Moleman's Epic Rap Battle logo appears; fade to black…*)