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When I was a kid my mother stayed home with us while my father worked all day.. When we were old enough to go to school all day, she started working in the family business that my father started after retiring from the Air Force. It was a very successful business in a lot of areas- one of which was taking them away from being parents.
My sister and I did a lot of โself-raisingโ when we were young, which lasted through high school. When my parents came home it was almost always late and we spent a lot of time eating out, drinking lots of soda, and developing really bad eating habits. I have struggled with weight almost my entire life and only now do I feel like I am really starting to win.
I am not afraid of fast food, but I do regret using it as a crutch for bad days, quick meals and all the other gazillion reasons that I eat out. It was a great contributorโฆ but the enablers in my life are really what need to be eliminated. Fast food literally IS a demon!
I went through the motions of quitting smoking last fall, and it has been 6 months (as of tomorrow) since I have had a cigarette. Quitting was something that I never thought I would be able to do, and each day I am more and more free.
I didnโt start smoking until late in life, towards the end of my college days. While I didnโt smoke for decades, I smoked a lot in the time I was a smoker. A lot of study nights, gigs, performances, road trips, deep conversations, break ups, court dates, counseling, fraternity functions, parties and well the list goes on. It was my crutch through those times, but non-smokers survive those times just like smokers do too.
I am ecstatic that I quit and rewarded myself with this camera, but I regret ever starting. My mother and sister never smokedโฆ everyone else in my family has. My brother who died in 2008 was smoking about 4-5 packs a day, incredibly obese and a drinker. I refuse to ever turn out like that for my own sake let alone for my family. I just hope I stopped in time for my body to begin healing itself before something bad ever comes up!
Above & Beyond Challenge February 2010
Theme: Fears & Regrets: Slaying The Demons Of Your Past
This was a challenge proposed to capture in the first month of a challenge above and beyond the 365 Days Challenge I am doing now for the second year. This was actually a bit of a challenge because I really worked so hard to banish fear from my life, and if I have regrets that would mean that I would go back and change things. If I changed even the simplest of things then I would not have the friends that I have, I wouldnโt have my daughter potentially, and I would not have had things like time with my sister before she died.
Itsโ a tricky matter, even just thinking about how youโd go back and change things because the simplest things would alter so much. I really donโt have fears like I once did, but there are some things that do walk the line with both fears and regrets. Itโd be interesting to go back in time to do this challenge- back to a time when I was filled with fear. But alas, since I cannotโฆ here is my project for February 2010.
When I was a kid I was fascinated with Sharks. It wasnโt from watching โJawsโ or from anything Hollywood ever put out. It was a National Geographic magazine that sparked my interest, and once it was sparker, I spent every minute I could studying and reading up on them. I knew everything I could about them. The more I read and learned about them, then the more I began to be in a bewildered awe over their abilities.
These animals are basically some of the strongest, most powerful monsters of the ocean. Beautiful and gracefulโฆ they will rip almost anything to shreds without breaking a sweat. They can sense fear and smell blood from far, far away. If I had to get my Scuba Diving certification in the ocean, it might have been a different story for there is nothing like looking through murky waters and suddenly there is a creature within 18 inches of your face. Catfish are one thing- sharks are another.
This spring I hope to be able to face my fear and dive with these animals. There are potentials for White, Tiger, and even Hammer head sharks. I figure what better way to really conquer the fear than head firstโฆ literally. I look forward to swimming with these wonderful animals that I have the upmost respect for, and banishing that fear of mine. I donโt think Iโll do a dive at night, but even a daytime dive would do well enough!
I absolutely love building, creating and mastering things with wood. I have an entire assembly line of power tools and accessories to go with them. Craftsman. Rigid. They are all some of the best tools out there and I love always having the right tool for the right job. I do wish I had a bigger workshop, but that is a lifetime dream of mine to have a really nice one on my property some day.
I do not regret having these tools, and I wouldnโt say that I was โafraidโ of themโฆ but I have a LOT of respect for power tools. One millisecond of lost concentration and the workshop floor will be crimson red. I have seen and had some bad accidents and close calls.
When I was building my daughterโs 2-story playhouse I was screwing one screw after another, and went a little too fast. I also didnโt have my gloves on. The drill slipped right off the screw head and went right into the skin between my fingers. It sliced this big โ+โ in my skin the shape of the screw head. And, well, like any American man- I just kept going. I had to wrap it real tight to get the blood to stop. The next day in church my daughter made sure that I was still feeling โHolyโ. I still have the mark to this day as a reminder.
Every time I pick up the circular, miter or table saw I say a quick prayer. I respect these because they will rip you very fast and very deep. I think thatโs a positive form of fear!
I still remember the day my mother showed me where middle โCโ was on the piano. I already knew a little music theory from grade school. By that I mean I knew what the notes were on the staff and what the notes themselves were. I just kind of went from there and taught myself things.
I can read right hand- I have to really, really concentrate on the left hand reading and I cannot do it fast. I just memorized all of my music and played by ear my whole life. In my earlier days I was good- very good. I won state and national competitions; I even qualified for quite a few scholarships.
I regret that I allowed a selfish person destroy everything. I was trying to be sentimental, so I sat her down one night to play a wonderful piece by Beethoven. I had already won competitions playing that song, and I managed to play it better that time than ever before. When I was done I looked over at her and she didnโt bat an eye, she just said โCan I ask you why you decided to waste my time with that?โ She was a classical music fan so I knew it wasnโt the type of music. I had to conclude that everyone else was wrong and she was rightโฆ so I quit playing.
I still play now and then- and have off and on over the years. But I deeply regret that such a selfish, childish, self centered person could say and do such thingsโฆ and trust me- she knew exactly what she was doing. Control is a horrible thingโฆ as I repeatedly found out with her and others.
I love my father dearly. Truly I do. He and I have had some rough patches in our life, but we have never raised words at one another, and we still say โI Love Youโ every time we get off the phone. After some counseling he and I have really come through a lot of different things, and our relationship is better in many ways.
That being said I have regrets that I allowed his words and thoughts to really affect me in my life. The words spoken really stopped me from living my dreams as a child and young adult, but now that I know better I know I have no excuse.
I still have walls up and do not lead an open book with him, but weโre better off that way and have been for a long timeโฆ
This regret is tied to the one before and after this (number six and eight). I have such a passion for music and have really loved making, performing and listening to music ever since I was a child. A few people know this random fact about me: I have Synesthesia, Phono and Photographic memory. I see music in color, I remember things I see and hear almost verbatim. I can write songs and lyrics very quickly and remember them years laterโฆ but I work for a Health Insurance company.
The reason why I am not a professional musician starts with one thing: faith. No matter how many abilities and talents I may have, I donโt believe that I can do it because I had absolutely no support as a child growing into things. I have played and performed, but had I had the fearless life (that I am close to now) 20 years ago- I have no doubt whatsoever that I would be on a few hundred stages a year.
I have not given up the dream- I have simply modified it. I regret that I listened to people who discouraged me. My father saw music as a waste of time and a childhood dream. He even went as far as to call me Peter Pan until I was 26. I think he wants to understand my passion- but I simply quite trying to convince or explain things to him years ago. I once met a prophet who told me my destiny- if only Iโd walked towards it years ago.
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Anyone who knows me knows that I am deeply spiritual, but not religious. The difference is that one is really based on the Fear of God and the other is based on The Love of God. These are two completely different views of God, but it really changes so much in your life if you run off of fear vs. love.
I was born again when I was very young and grew up in a very, very conservative home. When I went to college and then got married I didnโt really need Godโฆ until my world crashed and burned all within about 2 months. Once I found God it was right back to where I wasโฆ which was not all bad. The books in the picture are devotions I did every day. I went to church Sunday, Saturday and Wednesday playing in the worship band and doing a lot of sound work. But even that was not good enough to the eyes of the eldersโฆ The path I was on was the one my father told me I should be on- not the one I forged for myself.
The path that I am on now, I have mentioned in bits and pieces beforeโฆ my parents do not understand. They are convinced because I donโt go to church 1-3 times a week I am going to hell. Or because I have an ear ring I have rejected my faith. My faith isnโt based on whether or not I have a piece of metal in my frickinโ ear, nor whether I am in a building with people who believe in God. THAT does not make one a Christian. I have experienced people far more like Christ outside of the church than inside, so explain that.
The religious upbringing was good for a lot of things donโt get me wrong. But a lot of things that came into my life did so in the name of Godโฆ and God didnโt have anything to do with them. โHey Chris, let me tell you all the things that are wrong with you in the name of God. But itโs okay, just say these words and only then God will love you and save you. But if you slip up, you better feel horrible about itโฆโ and the list goes on.
I know who I am and I know what I believe. I have a deep relationship with God and thatโs my business- not my parents or their friendsโ business. Religion helped me, spirituality saved me.
I am not afraid of death and I have not been for a long time. What I am โafraid ofโ is leaving this Earth before being able to do what I feel like I was put on this Earth to do. I want to leave my mark on this world before I leave to the next, and I feel like this year will include a huge leap toward that.
This picture was a plant knocked over, next to a tombstone that seemed to be forgotten. I donโt want to be forgotten, and it always makes me sad to hear of those who are.
This is childrenโs and Adults Fairy Coloring Book is full of happy, smiling, beautiful Fairy Design. For anyone who love Big Sister, this book makes a nice gift for any ages.
Important Note: This is an adult and kids Fairy coloring book and The style is that of an ordinary Kid's and adult Fairy book, with a matte cover to finish.
What you will find inside the book:
โข Revised edition now contains 40 individual designs.
โข Designs are single sided, with a variety of cute Fairy and detailed backgrounds.
โข Age appropriate backgrounds for pre-school and elementary with any ages person โ Fairy.
โข A nice large format ( 8.5" x 11" ) for small hands to drawing easy for boys and girls also for mens and womens.
Activities such as Fairy coloring will improve your child's pencil grip, as well as helping them to relax, self regulate their mood and develop their imagination.
So if your child loves Fairy Pages Design, Also for own or you friend and family member, then order your copy today, gifts for you lovely boys, girls and friends.