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Nothing is true, everything is permitted.
–W.S.Burroughs
It’s all true
–Tracey Thorne
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Aschau, July 2015
Man coming into darkened room
Man blinded by light
Man shielding his eyes against the sun
Man watching silently
Man becoming aware of darkness setting in
Man awakens too bright morning light
Man barely able to see in dark
Man watching his blurred reflection in window
Man shaving, observing his jawline, foam being scraped away, light coming in from tiny bathroom window
Man lowering blinds against the rising sun
Man closing eyes to go to sleep
Man flipping through pages of a book
Man flicking switch of light in the hallway
Man flicking switch off the light by the sofa, room going into full darkness before eyes adjust
Man stepping out of shade
Man putting on sunglasses
Man putting off sunglasses before he steps into café from street
Man pinching and rubbing aching eyes
Man’s face being lit by flickering lights from TV
Man looking at photograph
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Weatherford Democrat
Police: Prescription narcotics are most abused drugsWeatherford DemocratA narcotics investigator with the Walker County Sheriff’s Office whose name is being withheld because of his undercover work, said prescription drug abuse is popular due to the ease of which the drugs can be obtained. There are "pill mills" in the …and more »
Click here to read the complete article…
To read more posts like – Police: Prescription narcotics are most abused drugs – Weatherford Democrat, visit www.drug.education
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Our Sexceptional Lecturer, Dr. Justin Lehmiller continues to outstanding praise and media coverage. He has been on a world tour with the Sexual Health Alliance to deliver trainings to all types of professionals in Denver, CO, Austin, TX, Dallas, TX, Los Angelos, CA, Chicago, IL and Seattle, WA. Visit our Events tab at the top of the page to find all upcoming events!
TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT Book tour Media Coverage
Major features (print and online)
Health.com
www.health.com/sex/most-common-sexual-fantasies-explained
The Wall Street Journal
www.wsj.com/articles/new-research-delves-into-sexual-fant...
The Australian (reprint of WSJ article)
www.theaustralian.com.au/business/wall-street-journal/sex...
The New Zealand Herald (reprint of WSJ article)
www.nzherald.co.nz/relationships/news/article.cfm?c_id=41...
The Daily Mail (U.K.)
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5883591/Americans-crave-...
NUVO (Indianapolis paper)
www.nuvo.net/arts/summer-reads-new-books-by-indy-authors/...
De Morgen (Begium newspaper)
www.demorgen.be/wetenschap/meeste-mensen-dromen-van-trioo...
Bustle
www.bustle.com/p/the-7-most-popular-sexual-fantasies-acco...
Mel Magazine
melmagazine.com/americans-crave-group-sex-fc57e932b3ae
Livestrong
www.livestrong.com/article/13713594-the-most-popular-sexu...
www.livestrong.com/slideshow/13713927-the-psychology-behi...
The Sunday Times (U.K.)
www.thetimes.co.uk/article/tell-me-what-you-want-an-exclu...
www.thetimes.co.uk/article/editor-s-letter-lorraine-candy...
Psychology Today
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/standard-deviations/20180... (book review by Michael Aaron)
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stepmonster/201807/what-w... (Q&A with Wednesday Martin)
www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-myths-sex/201807/th...
www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-myths-sex/201807/wh...
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-sex/201808/why-...
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-sex/201808/what...
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201807/th... (post by David Ley)
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-sex/201809/4-un...
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-sex/201809/what...
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-sex/201810/seve...
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-matters/201811/new-re... (post by Ari Tuckman)
Herald Sun (Australia)
www.heraldsun.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/a-new-survey...
The Sun (U.K.)
www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/6671001/six-common-sexual-fanta...
www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/6653023/heres-what-your-sexual-...
www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/6757293/two-year-sex-survey-brits/
www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/7562703/sexual-fantasies-person...
Daily Mirror (U.K.)
www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/sex/top-6-mo...
www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/health/how-improve-your-sex-li...
Bild (German tabloid)
m.bild.de/unterhaltung/erotik/sex-und-liebe/von-diesem-se...
goop
goop.com/wellness/sexual-health/how-the-science-of-sexual...
Metro (U.K.)
metro.co.uk/2018/07/07/seven-common-sexual-fantasies-7690...
The I (U.K.)
inews.co.uk/opinion/the-most-unusual-sexual-fantasies-fro...
inews.co.uk/opinion/the-deeper-psychological-needs-behind...
The Independent (U.K.)
www.independent.co.uk/life-style/common-sexual-fantasies-...
VICE/TONIC (book excerpt)
tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/evk8ae/how-to-stop-feeling-g...
USA Today
Republished in the Battle Creek Enquirer (Michigan) in print
Ask Me Anything on Reddit (July 10)
www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/8xr09r/i_am_justin_lehmill...
New York Journal of Books (review)
www.nyjournalofbooks.com/book-review/tell-me
Naked at Our Age by Joan Price (review)
betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com/2018/07/tell-me-what...
The Atlantic
www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/07/sexual-fantasi...
The Indianapolis Star
www.indystar.com/story/entertainment/arts/2018/07/19/kins...
Republished in USA Today: www.usatoday.com/story/life/nation-now/2018/07/19/kinsey-...
Republished in Cincinnati Enquirer: www.cincinnati.com/story/entertainment/arts/2018/07/19/ki...
Republished in Louisville Courier Journal: www.courier-journal.com/story/entertainment/arts/2018/07/...
The Cut
www.thecut.com/article/what-its-like-to-be-a-sex-research...
CNN
www.cnn.com/2018/07/24/health/sex-fantasies-kerner/index....
Republished in CNN Chile: www.cnnchile.com/tendencias/esto-es-lo-que-tus-fantasias-...
Chicago Tribune
www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/stevens/ct-life-stevens...
Republished in Arizona Daily Star: tucson.com/lifestyles/balancing-act-americans-no-sexual-f...
Republished in the Santa Barbara News Press (print only)
Of Sex and Love Blog (review)
ofsexandlove.com/tell-me-what-you-want
Boston Globe
www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2018/08/10/tell-what-you-wa...
Fatherly
www.fatherly.com/love-money/sex/sex-fantasies-common-desi...
Men’s Health Magazine (print) – “Ask an Advisor” feature entitled “Reel Sex” published in the September 2018 issue
Romance Daily News
www.romancedailynews.com/trends
RealClearLife
www.realclearlife.com/books/americas-sexual-fantasies-lai...
Yahoo Brazil
br.vida-estilo.yahoo.com/casais-acham-mais-facil-fazer-se...
Broadly
broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/qvmynb/five-most-common-se...
Maxim
www.maxim.com/maxim-man/most-popular-kinks-in-america-201...
NUVO (online and in print)
www.nuvo.net/arts/tell-me-what-you-want-science-and-sexua...
Brides.com
www.brides.com/story/fantasize-about-your-partner
The New York Times (review)
www.nytimes.com/2018/10/17/books/review/tell-me-what-you-...
Published in print on October 21, 2018
Huffington Post
www.huffpost.com/entry/what-your-sexual-fantasies-reveal-...
Elite Daily
www.elitedaily.com/p/what-do-your-sexual-fantasies-reveal...
Politico (op-ed written by me)
www.politico.com/magazine/story/2018/10/27/sexual-fantasi...
Covered in Rolling Stone
www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/republican-de...
Covered in Yahoo
www.yahoo.com/entertainment/republicans-democrats-divided...
Covered in Yahoo News UK
sports.yahoo.com/left-wingers-right-wingers-different-sex...
Covered in Indy100
www.indy100.com/article/midterms-2018-sex-fantasy-study-s...
Covered in IFL Science
www.iflscience.com/editors-blog/republicans-and-democrats...
Covered in LGBTQ Nation
www.lgbtqnation.com/2018/10/republicans-democrats-vastly-...
Covered in Inquisitor
www.inquisitr.com/5136903/republicans-democrats-divided-o...
Covered on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3neoZaTEUeM&feature=youtu.be
Information (Danish newspaper)
www.information.dk/kultur/2018/10/bogkort-forskellene-paa...
Glamour Paris
www.glamourparis.com/amour-et-sexe/news/articles/tell-me-...
The California Therapist (book review by Dr. Marty Klein in the September/October 2018 issue)
viewer.zmags.com/publication/8054e4ab#/8054e4ab/80
Book review by author Piers Anthony in his HiPiers newsletter (November 2018)
Forthcoming:
Cosmo – book will be featured in Sex Q&A (October). Will also be mentioned in January issue in a piece on fantasies
Psychology Today (print edition – they will be reprinting some of my blog posts about the book in the November/December issue)
Playboy (German Edition) – November
Radio, Podcasts, and TV
Savage Lovecast – interview with Dan Savage on July 3, 2018
www.savagelovecast.com/episodes/610#.Wz5GgWaZPUJ
Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast – interview on July 6, 2018
www.sexwithdrjess.com/2018/07/what-do-your-neighbors-fant...
Pleasure Mechanics Podcast – July 13, 2018
www.pleasuremechanics.com/tell-me-what-you-want-exploring...
Talk Louisiana – July 18, 2018
wrkf.org/post/wednesday-june-18th-roger-villere-bruce-her...
Airtalk (NPR and KPCC) – August 6, 2018
www.scpr.org/programs/airtalk/2018/08/06/63458/when-it-co...
You: The Owner’s Manual (Radio MD) – August 7, 2018
radiomd.com/show/you-the-owners-manual-radio-show/item/38...
The Psychology Podcast with Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman – recorded August 22, 2018
scottbarrykaufman.com/podcast/the-science-of-sexual-fanta...
Covered in Scientific American: blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/podcast-reca...
Her podcast (Radio MD) – recorded August 23, 2018
radiomd.com/show/her/item/38121-sexual-fantasies
Me Time with Frangela (Television program) – August 23, 2018 and October 23, 2018
Science of Sex podcast with Dr. Zhana Vrangalova – recorded September 26, 2018
scienceofsexpodcast.com/42-what-your-sexual-fantasies-say...
Doctor Radio (Sirius XM) with Dr. Virginia Sadock – October 1, 2018
Savage Lovecast (second appearance) – recorded on October 9, 2018
www.savagelovecast.com/episodes/626#.W89E0i-ZPUI
Tell Me Everything (Sirius XM) – Interview with John Fugelsang – October 16, 2018
Sex with Emily podcast – October 23, 2018
Sexology podcast with Dr. Nazanin Moali – recorded November 2, 2018
www.sexologypodcast.com/2018/11/13/sexual-fantasies-justi...
The Ersties Podcast (based in Berlin, Germany) – November 13, 2018
Sex with Strangers podcast – November 13, 2018
BBC Radio – Sex Takeover – November 20, 2018
Why Are People Into That?! Podcast – December 10, 2018
Book Mentions (not specifically about the book, but mention the book)
Cosmo
www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a20967150/dry-orgasm-no-eja...
Playboy
www.playboy.com/read/the-peak-of-pegging-why-anal-erotici...
www.playboy.com/read/how-should-we-think-about-forced-sex...
VICE/TONIC
www.vice.com/en_us/article/3k449v/inside-the-disturbing-f...
tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/9k88b5/trying-not-to-think-a...
tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/7xqq4g/women-short-orgasms
tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/9km7mp/we-fantasize-about-ou...
IO Donna (Italian women’s magazine)
www.iodonna.it/benessere/amore-e-sesso/2018/06/29/i-miti-...
Prevention
www.prevention.com/sex/a21969931/sex-addiction-signs/
Metro (UK)
metro.co.uk/2018/07/23/people-call-sexual-partners-daddy-...
Quartz
qz.com/1348381/the-way-psychologists-talk-about-sex-revea...
Women’s Health (Australia)
www.womenshealth.com.au/what-to-do-sexless-marriage
Queerty
www.queerty.com/homophobic-republicans-prone-gay-sex-scan...
Chicago Tribune (online and in print)
www.chicagotribune.com/redeye/culture/ct-redeye-ask-anna-...
Patch.com
patch.com/pennsylvania/northwhitehall/lccc-holds-sexual-h...
Bustle
www.bustle.com/p/morning-sex-may-make-you-more-productive...
The Science Advice Goddess – column by Amy Alkon
(Syndicated in about 100 newspapers, many of which are print only)
www.creators.com/read/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/09/18/codg...
NUVO
www.nuvo.net/arts/banned-books-week-addresses-pornography...
The Advocate (October/November print issue and also online)
www.advocate.com/love-and-sex/2018/9/21/what-do-adults-fa...
The Atlantic
www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/10/premarital-coh...
Mel Magazine
melmagazine.com/en-us/story/why-were-all-so-thirsty-for-b...
melmagazine.com/en-us/story/the-enduring-appeal-of-the-er...
Toronto Sun
torontosun.com/life/relationships/why-do-men-send-unsolic...
High Praise for Dr. Justin Lehmiller! Our 2018-2019 Speaker for Sexual Health Alliance! published first on spanishflyhealth.tumblr.com/
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$2,000.00
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$250.00
End Date: Oct-31 16:20
Buy It Now for only: US $250.00
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Walking Project, Mannheim, October 2020
The catastrophe […] is neither waiting down the road, nor has it already happened. Rather, it is being lived through. There is no punctual moment of disaster; the world doesn’t end with a bang, it winks out, unravels, gradually falls apart. What caused the catastrophe to occur, who knows; its cause lies long in the past, so absolutely detached from the present as to seem like the caprice of a malign being: a negative miracle, a malediction which no penitence can ameliorate. Such a blight can only be eased by an intervention that can no more be anticipated than was the onset of the curse in the first place. Action is pointless; only senseless hope makes sense. Superstition and religion, the first resorts of the helpless, proliferate.
— Mark Fisher, Capitalist Realism
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Maybe it is just that I’ve watched too much TV. I get confused, is it a memory or only something I have seen in a movie. Every picture has a trajectory: How did we come here, where does this lead? Does the hero get the girl? Most will be dead at the end of the movie. So will we.
We’re looking for clues in these pictures: Do they give the future away? When a gun is placed on a table in the first act, it will be fired in the third. This is the law, this is how it works. Things are connected. Except if they are not.
The eye of the storm. That strange silence, where everything rings of decay and doom yet nothing really has changed yet. You can stay here, the world is in turmoil and the turmoil will come to your door. Until then, be calm.
Things didn’t came out as we intended. The money ran out. The production company shut down halfway through the film. Some of the things in the script did not work out on the set, some were cut because of the budget. There were these things in the story we started and that were just left dangling there. We all were tired. The door the girl went in, disappeared in the following scene. The coffee place in the middle of the street now is on the corner. Once, in summer we went for ice cream, the director paid. We were sitting in the bright sunlight and the darkness of the studio and the film was far away. That weather that day. Somehow it all went wrong from there. We were looking for clues how our stories went down, but the pictures don’t give it away. They are just lights and surface. Liquids, pixels, there is nothing behind them.
These are the movies we never finished and these lives that never went anywhere.
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Das Schlafzimmer des Meisters, es lohnt sich, darin eine Nacht zu verbringen
— Max Ernst
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Thyssen
Duisburg-Ruhrort, June 2017
Ozymandias
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
‘My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!’
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
— Percy B. Shelley
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Carpet cleaning is important to keep your home clean and safe, and your carpet last longer. Know carpet cleaning tips and tricks for a thorough DIY deep cleaning.
Dirt, dust, food, animal dander, dust mites, cigarette smoke and tons of dead skin flakes can all get trapped inside your carpets during those long months that out homes stay closed. To read more about carpet cleaning tips go to http://ift.tt/2dJENI3
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We tell ourselves stories in order to live. The princess is caged in the consulate. The man with the candy will lead the children into the sea. The naked woman on the ledge outside the sixteenth floor is a victim of accidie, or the naked woman is an exhibitionist, and it would be “interesting” to know which. We tell ourselves that it makes some difference wether the naked woman is about to commit a mortal sin or is about to register a political protest or is about to be, the Aristophanic view, snatched back to the human condition by a the fireman in priest’s clothing just visible in the window behind her, the one smiling at the telephoto lens. We look for the sermon in the suicide, for the social or the moral lesson in the murder of five. We interpret what we see, select the most workable of the multiple choices. We live entirely, especially if we are writers, by the imposition of a narrative line upon disparate images, by the “ideas” with which we have learned to freeze the shifting phantasmagoria which is our actual experience.
Or at least we do for a while.
— Joan Didion, The White Album
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Je sais, moi, des sorciers qui invoquent les jets
Dans la jungle de Nouvelle-Guinée
Ils scrutent le zénith convoitant les guinées
Que leur rapporterait le pillage du fret
Sur la mer de corail au passage de cet
Appareil ces créatures non dénuées
De raison ces papous attendent des nuées
L’avarie du Viscount et celle du Comet
Et comme leur totem n’a jamais pu abattre
A leurs pieds ni Bœing ni même D.C. quatre
Ils rêvent de hijacks et d’accidents d’oiseaux
Ces naufrageurs naïfs armés de sarbacanes
Qui sacrifient ainsi au culte du cargo
En soufflant vers l’azur et les aéroplanes
Où es-tu Melody et ton corps disloqué
Hante-t-il l’archipel que peuplent les sirènes
Ou bien accrochés au cargo dont la sirène
D’alarme s’est tue, es-tu restée
Au hasard des courants as-tu déjà touché
Ces lumineux coraux des côtes guinéennes
Où s’agitent en vain ces sorciers indigènes
Qui espèrent encore des avions brisés
N’ayant plus rien à perdre ni Dieu en qui croire
Afin qu’ils me rendent mes amours dérisoires
Moi, comme eux, j’ai prié les cargos de la nuit
Et je garde cette espérance d’un désastre
Aérien qui me ramènerait Melody
Mineure détournée de l’attraction des astres
<>
–Serge Gainsbourg, Cargo Culte
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Mannheim, Hafen 1, Dezember 2021
What does this mean to nascent ecological awareness? Humans are not totally in charge of assigning significance and value to events that can be statistically measured. The worry is not, that the world will end, as in the old model of dis-astro, but wether the end of the world is already happening, or wether perhaps it might already have taken place. A deep shuddering of temporality
— Timothy Morton, Hyperobjects
Profile etansare -Benzi etansare-Waterstop
Profile etansare cu banda hidrofilica incorporata tip KAB
Profile pentru rosturi dilatatie perete si tavan
Profile pentru pardoseli industriale (trafic greu)
Profile pentru rosturi structurale seismice -rosturi foarte largi – de la 150 mm la 540 ...
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$325.00
End Date: Nov-03 22:55
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$350.00
End Date: Nov-03 21:51
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Walking Project, Mannheim, October 2020
“Why is form beautiful? Because, I think, it helps us confront our worst fear, the suspicion that life may be chaos and that therefore, our suffering is without meaning.”
— Robert Adams
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One of the primary and utterly gorgeous colors for your nails is white. The reason being the white shade can be applied plainly on the nails, or one can add some other designs that easily blend with any nail shape. Additionally, any lady, be it in the workforce or a college student can easily maintain nails with white polish, as they suit any occasion. The white polish is also not prone to breaking especially when applied on short nails.Let us examine some of the fabulous ideas for white nail polish, for ladies with short and regular nails. Here, we discuss ten ideas for white nail polish; from the basic styles to more creative and unique white nail polish designs.
Let us examine some of the fabulous ideas for white nail polish, for ladies with short and regular nails. Here, we discuss ten ideas for white nail polish; from the basic styles to more creative and unique white nail polish designs.
1. General Pure Ice
It is one of the simplest nail art designs today, suitable for short nails. Its simplicity makes the polishing process convenient for even beginners. Although there are no other hues on the design, it offers one eye-catching experience.
2. Gingham Accent
It is the use of white polish on nails, but reserving one of the nails, usually referred to as an accent nail to add anything little on it. The main idea here is to only one nail, giving it a different shade apart from the white polish.
3. Chevron Elongating Stripes
The main idea here is to use the white polish to make your nails look long. Here, you incorporate V lines, pointing towards your fingertips.
4. Double Moon
It involves the addition of two beautiful moon accents on the nail, using only white polish. Here, two moons accents are polished on the lunula and hyponychium respectively.
5. Black Speckles on White
After doing the white polish on nails, proceed to do the black dots or speckles. Avoid doing too many of them to avoid a messing up with the nail design and giving that busy look.
6. White Lacy Layers
Start by applying a clear nail varnish on the nails. It is the base nude color, before painting on the white lacy pattern on your nails.
7. Polkadots
Polkadots are a great addition to your nails. It is composed of a white nail polish on nails and a line of polka dots on the edge of the each fingernail. It gives the nails a fresh touch. It’s a little rough in this photo, but you get the idea.
8. Sleek Spring Waves
On a white base, the black waves rest in them, giving you the sleek spring waves pattern.
9. The Silhouettes
Play with black shapes over a matte of white polish on your nails.
10. The Secret
It is called The Secret because of the technical proficiency involved in doing it. White nail polish is used to create the textured background, hence involving lots of work.
The white polish gives one of the best designs, but some include putting up some more work altogether. You may even get a few different designs done at once and end up picking another, after some time, just to play around with the many designs compatible with the white nail polish. If you know the secret, let me know!
The post Fabulous Ideas for White Nail Polish appeared first on Sparkly Polish Nails.
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vppztje5:
eva andressa
[ summer body ] [ dream body ] [ body goals ] [ fitspo ] [ bikini body ] [ fitspiration ] [ cute girls ] [ beautiful woman ] [ sexy bikini body ] [ pretty woman ][ beautiful girls ] [ attractive woman ]
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MUST READ: Celina Jaitly hits back at trollers who slut-shamed her for her bathtub picture
The manner in which Kareena Kapoor Khan maintained herself and also flaunted her bump during public appearances during her pregnancy last year caught a lot of attention. It also made it clear that it is completely normal and one shouldn’t shy oneself from facing the world and exhibiting the bodily changes.
The other actress who went a step further is Celina Jaitly. The actress who is currently expecting did a risqué photoshoot. In the picture, she was completely nude but her assets were wittily covered as she was in a bathtub. Her baby bump however was visible and the picture on the whole made quite an impact.
The trolls can be quite shameless with their comments on the internet. Hence, Celina Jaitly was prepared for it. However, the magnitude of comments and also the kind of insults she faced shocked her. She wrote a long post on Facebook to express her displeasure. She also made it clear that not just men but even women have slut-shamed her and giving rape threats to her and becoming unruly violent in thought is not the correct way to discuss in a civilized society. Here’s what she wrote on her Facebook wall:
GOOD GOD IS THAT Shoulders, arms AND TUMMY?! Oh wait even a peeking knee cap…. MY EYES ARE BURNING WITH THE SLUTINESS.!!!
Upon posting a recent pregnancy picture in a bathtub with a message condemning the stereotype associated with pregnant women and their bodies in our culture, clicked by my beloved Peter Haag for MissMalini.com I was surprised to see what followed next. While I did receive a lot of love, my social media feeds on my Instagram, Twitter & FB Fan Page turned into a battle ground of trolls vs like-minded followers & well-wishers.
Having been perceived to violate traditional expectations for behaviour & dress code during pregnancy, it was not surprising to see trolling/slut shaming on my post and honestly to me they truly are laughable and don’t affect me personally… However, what disturbed me was the aspect that even in today’s times an immense growth is being seen in this kind of regressive mentality and how some people driven by this ideology are willing to intimidate a woman (even a pregnant woman) using a considerable amount of verbal violence along with intentions of sexual violence just because the picture did not meet the traditional and cultural expectations of a few self-proclaimed ‘thekedars’ of our society.
Funnily enough the bathtub picture actually shows less skin than most of the outfits that me and many of my colleagues have worn for several of our films.
While men do slut shame, often women are the strongest cultural enforcers of slut-shaming, you will see that when you go to my Instagram account. It’s amazing that slut shaming is rarely about actual sexual activity, but rather perceived sexuality through clothes or attitudes. In my case despite only a bit of the tummy shoulders & knee showing I realised smilingly that what bothered the Shamers was what was “not” that was visible in the bathtub picture but what was “perceived” to be visible through their demented imagination. My observation is that, the Shamers were immensely uncomfortable “more” from the parts of my body that were “covered” by the water, and were apparently definitely nude, making their imaginations run in all directions which of course were against all social norms. Hence in our culture with such an assumption one automatically gains the rights to call a woman a slut, a bitch a whore, and of course it is also shockingly ok to even punish her by rape and sexually torment such a woman as per many comments on my picture on Instagram, twitter, FB and Miss Malini and many other websites. Ironically enough most of the perpetrators of such verbal violence are also women themselves & unfortunately many women fail to realise that to make progressive attempts for their own evolution, they have to start changing the way they view themselves, and other women too.
In our culture one thing is for sure the only way one expresses disapproval is through verbal or physical violence, there is no scope for resolution, solution or general discussion or using civilised language to express disapproval. I fail to understand why does something (like my so called against the Indian social norms bathtub picture) which does not agree to one’s taste or liking have to become a candidate for any kind of violence…Both physical and verbal sexual violence is not only criminally an offence in the real world but what really worries me is the fact that in our culture so many people (both men & women) tend to have the intention to resort to sexual, verbal & physical violence to punish one for something makes them uncomfortable. Specially to think that there are so many people who feel it’s ok to harm a pregnant woman or for that matter any woman with physical, sexual & verbal abuse. No wonder violence against women has increased in our country because such narcissistic people are actually allowed to have a voice and practice their regressive and delinquent thought processes and ideologies.
Slut-shaming is not funny, it is dangerous, hurtful, disrespectful and harmful to women. It’s important to question society when they expect women to behave in ways that men are not expected to.
While many of my colleagues for their own reasons may have chosen to keep quiet when they too went through the same, I take it as my social responsibility to speak up against it. My intention as an actor, a beauty queen a human rights activist and most of all as a a mother has always been to empower , encourage & break social stigmas through my blessed platform.
All I can say is that if you are being slut-shamed remember that it is not your fault. The problem is with the way in which many people are socially conditioned to think about women.
However, ending on a positive note..a big thank you to my many followers who stood up to all the abuse. I am overwhelmed by their support and love and most of all I am so proud to see that my beloved followers have a voice that is right and that their values and hearts are in the right place.
MUST READ: Celina Jaitly hits back at trollers who slut-shamed her for her bathtub picture