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Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Why The Legacy of Sir Harry Matters, speech by Historian Sir Simon Schama during the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. The What Makes a Great Investigative Journalist panel attended by (from Left) Moderator Emily Maitlis, Journalist and Broadcaster, Carl Bernstein, Journalist and Author and Bob Woodward, Journalist and Author during the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
"You Always Want What You Cannot Have & Don't Want What You Have , To Be Self-Realized Just Reverse It"
The last time I read this book, Fire in the Soul, I didn't finish it. She talks a lot about the pain we humans experience, and what she calls the "dark night of the soul." I got about 2/3's of the way in, to her part about forgiveness, and I wept, and put it down. That was about 5 years ago. I keep it on my bedstand, waiting. Waiting for me to be ready. The other day I wondered if it was time to pick it back up and try again, to understand and give this forgiveness thing a whirl. I get it, intellectually, the stuff about how we are just hurting ourselves, when we do not forgive. That "the fuckers" (thank you Emy for that oh so apt description which I love,) who hurt us don't care, so it's not for them that we do it. Forgiveness is then a gift we give to ourselves. I get it.
But for whatever reason, I can't seem to get there. I recognize that in my personal belief system, it has always shown up as acceptance of what happened, and permission to do it again. Now it's not like the people who have hurt me are in my life any longer, so I'm clear that "the act" of forgiving would be between me and myself, and it's not like my trespassers would suddenly be there, anxious to muck around in my life. (I do get the occasional 9th step call, which I don't take, from my former husband, wanting to assuage his guilt and get a pass from me on his too numerous to count "misdeeds". After 23 years of lies, and the abandonment of his children, I just can't let him in, even for a minute. It feels too dangerous to my soul. And since he's still not in touch with our grown girls, all these years later, I can't believe he's reformed one bit. How does anyone apologize with a straight face when they're still doing the same old thing? It's a mystery to me. Anyway, I figure all that's really between he and himself.)
So here's the question I've been grappling with. Could the act of forgiveness actually create more space, more light in my life? It's been over 10 years since my marriage ended. Well, let's call it 7, since it was dragged out in the courts for 3 years, as an additional insult and injury to me and my kids. That's a really long time ago now, and I thought I'd mostly healed all those old wounds. But have I? I do hear the bitterness that is still present in these words as I write them. And I don't seem to be having any luck in the romance department, even though I'm a pretty nice, honest, intelligent, and sometimes funny and fun person to be with. No one that I'm interested in ever seems to show up and be willing to take me on. I'm left wondering. Does my refusal to forgive show up out in the world like a coat of armor, a way to chase away pursuers, rather than letting anyone in, when I seem to be so poorly equipped to see, who are the good guys and who are the bad, the truthtellers from the deceivers, the would be heroes and villains in the rest of my story, yet to be written?
I guess it's time to reread this little number and see what comes up for me. I feel sad today as I even consider going there in my heart, how difficult it may be, how vulnerable I fear I could become. I really want to be able to open my heart again, and to trust myself to be wiser at this time in my life. Maybe if I can get there, to accept that we all just do the best we can with what we've got, maybe then there'll be some more room for someone to show up, and knock around in here with me. Ok, I'm off to the mill.
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. The What Makes a Great Investigative Journalist panel attended by (from Left) Moderator Emily Maitlis, Journalist and Broadcaster, Carl Bernstein, Journalist and Author and Bob Woodward, Journalist and Author during the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. From Left: Tina Brown, Editor and Author, Emily Maitlis, Journalist and Broadcaster, Bob Woodward, Author and Journalist, and Carl Bernstein, Author and Journalist at the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Tina Brown CBE
Editor and Author, attends the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. The What Makes a Great Investigative Journalist panel attended by (from Left) Moderator Emily Maitlis, Journalist and Broadcaster, Carl Bernstein, Journalist and Author and Bob Woodward, Journalist and Author during the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. From Left: Tina Brown, Editor and Author, Emily Maitlis, Journalist and Broadcaster, Bob Woodward, Author and Journalist, and Carl Bernstein, Author and Journalist at the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. The What Makes a Great Investigative Journalist panel attended by (from Left) Moderator Emily Maitlis, Journalist and Broadcaster, Carl Bernstein, Journalist and Author and Bob Woodward, Journalist and Author during the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. The What Makes a Great Investigative Journalist panel attended by (from Left) Moderator Emily Maitlis, Journalist and Broadcaster, Carl Bernstein, Journalist and Author and Bob Woodward, Journalist and Author during the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. From Left: Elsa Walsh, journalist and author, Maria Pevchikh, Head of Investigations and Chairwoman of the Board, Anti-Corruption Foundation, Tina Brown, Editor and Author, Christine Bernstein, Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward, discussing Alexei Navalny's health in prison during the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. The What Makes a Great Investigative Journalist panel attended by (from Left) Moderator Emily Maitlis, Journalist and Broadcaster, Carl Bernstein, Journalist and Author and Bob Woodward, Journalist and Author during the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. From Left: Tina Brown, Editor and Author, Emily Maitlis, Journalist and Broadcaster, Bob Woodward, Author and Journalist, and Carl Bernstein, Author and Journalist at the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. From Left: Tina Brown, Editor and Author, Emily Maitlis, Journalist and Broadcaster, Bob Woodward, Author and Journalist, and Carl Bernstein, Author and Journalist at the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Behind the scenes at the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. From Left: Emily Maitlis, Journalist and Broadcaster, Tina Brown, Editor and Author, Bob Woodward, Author and Journalist, and Carl Bernstein, Author and Journalist at the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Tina Brown CBE
Editor and Author, attends the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Tina Brown CBE
Editor and Author and attends the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Nick Davies
Former Special Correspondent, The Guardian (L), Dean Baquet, Editor, Local Investigations Fellowship, former Executive Editor, The New York Times (M) and Roula Khalaf, Editor, The Financial Times (R) attend the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Tina Brown CBE
Editor and Author and attends the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Tina Brown CBE
Editor and Author, attends the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Behind the scenes at the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. The Iran's War on Journalists panel attended by Masih Alinejad – Journalist and Campaigner, Paul Caruana Galizia – Reporter, Tortoise Media. Moderator: Yalda Hakim – News Anchor and International Correspondent, BBC News during the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Maria Pevchikh, (L) Head of Investigations and Chairwoman of the Board, Anti-Corruption Foundation, Bob Woodward, (R), and Carl Bernstein (C) attends the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Maria Pevchikh, (L) Head of Investigations and Chairwoman of the Board, Anti-Corruption Foundation, Bob Woodward, (R), and Carl Bernstein (C) attends the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. The Drama's King panel attended by Jesse Armstrong, Writer and Producer, and creator of HBO's Succession, and Tina Brown, Editor and Author during the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Behind the scenes at the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Bob Woodward, (R), and Carl Bernstein (L) attends the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Tina Brown CBE
Editor and Author, attends the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Behind the scenes at the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Behind the scenes at the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Behind the scenes at the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. The Drama's King panel attended by Jesse Armstrong, Writer and Producer, and creator of HBO's Succession, and Tina Brown, Editor and Author during the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Karen OâBrien, Vice-Chancellor and Warden, Durham University (centre) attends the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. David Thomson, Thomson Reuters attends Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Behind the scenes at the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Behind the scenes at the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Behind the scenes at the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Maria Pevchikh, (L) Head of Investigations and Chairwoman of the Board, Anti-Corruption Foundation, Bob Woodward, (R), and Carl Bernstein (C) attends the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Behind the scenes at the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Masih Alinejad, journalist attends the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Masih Alinejad, journalist attends the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Behind the scenes at the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media
Image ©Licensed to Parsons Media. 10/05/2023. London, United Kingdom. Sir Harry Evans Global Summit 2023. RIBA. Masih Alinejad, journalist attends the Truth Tellers Sir Harry Evans Global Summit in Investigative Journalism 2023 held at the Royal Institute of Architects in London. Picture by Andrew Parsons for Truth Tellers / Parsons Media