"I Miss My Old Hair"
View allAll Photos Tagged Traumatic
A difficult year for stag rut in our Fontainebleau forest. Hunting is far too present and especially court hunting, a cruel and traumatic hunt that is still practiced (even though it is prohibited in most countries).
The result is that fewer and fewer animals frequent the forest
The forest loses its soul and its king gradually disappears.
Man is definitely the most dangerous predator on the planet.
that there are things we can break that our parents can't fix :-)
Robert Brault
Experience Matters!
sarah p duke gardens, duke university, durham, north carolina
Switzerland, May 2021
My best photos are here: www.lacerta-bilineata.com/ticino-best-photos-of-southern-...
My latest ANIMAL VIDEO (warning, it's a bit shocking): www.youtube.com/watch?v=4T2-Xszz7FI
You find a selection of my 80 BEST PHOTOS (mostly not yet on Flickr) here: www.lacerta-bilineata.com/western-green-lizard-lacerta-bi... (the website exists in ESPAÑOL, FRANÇAIS, ITALIANO, ENGLISH, DEUTSCH)
ABOUT THE PHOTO:
So this photo is a bit of a novelty for me - at least here on Flickr, but it's also a journey back in time in a sense. I've always loved b/w and sepia photography; already as a very young teenager I would go out into the woods with an old Pentax Spotmatic (which I had nicked from my father) whenever it was a foggy day to shoot b/w compositions of sunbeams cutting through the ghostlike trees.
I used films with a sensitivity of at least 1600 (for those of you who remember what that means 😉 ), and the resulting photos had an incredibly fine grain which I loved; I blew them up to the size of posters and hung them on the walls of my teenage man-cave next to Hendrix, Jim Morrison and Slash.
But then I abandoned photography altogether for 20 years, and when I finally picked up a camera again, it was one of the digital kind. Now neither film nor grain played any role in my photographic endeavours - let alone b/w compositions: because the reason I fell in love with shooting pictures once more was the rare and incredibly colorful lizard species that had chosen my garden as its habitat.
It's this species - the Lacerta bilineata aka the western green lizard - that my photo website www.lacerta-bilineata.com/ and also my Flickr gallery are dedicated to, but I've since expanded that theme a bit so that it now comprises the whole Lacerta bilineata habitat, which is to say my garden and its immediate surroundings and all the flora and fauna I find in it.
I like that my gallery and the website have this clear theme, because in order to rise to the challenge of portraying all aspects of a very specific little eco system (which also happens to be my home of sorts), it forces me to constantly explore it from fresh angles, and I keep discovering fascinating new motives as my photographic journey continues.
Which brings me to the horse pasture you see in this photo. This playground for happy horsies lies just outside my garden, and it normally only interests me insofar as my green reptile friends claim parts of it as their territory, and I very much prefer it to be horseless (which it thankfully often is).
Not that the horses bother the reptiles - the lizards don't mind them one bit, and I've even seen them jump from the safety of the fly honeysuckle shrub which the pasture borders on right between the deadly looking hooves of the horses to forage for snails, without any sign of fear or even respect.
No, the reason I have a very conflicted relationship with those horses is that they are mighty cute and that there's usually also foals. The sight of those beautiful, happy animals jumping around and frolicking (it's a huge pasture and you can tell the horses really love it) is irresistible: and that inevitably attracts what in the entire universe is known as the most destructive anti-matter and ultimate undoing of any nature photographer: other humans.
Unlike with the horses, the lizards ARE indeed very much bothered by specimens of loud, unpredictable Homo sapiens sapiens - which makes those (and by extension also the horses) the cryptonite of this here reptile photographer. It's not the horses' fault, I know that, but that doesn't change a thing. I'm just telling you how it is (and some of you might have read about the traumatic events I had to endure to get a particular photo - if not, read at your own risk here: www.flickr.com/photos/191055893@N07/51405389883/in/datepo... - which clearly demonstrated that even when it's entirely horseless, that pasture is still a threat for artistic endeavours).
But back to the photo. So one morning during my vacation back in May I got up quite early. It had rained all night, and now the fog was creeping up from the valley below to our village just as the sky cleared up and the morning sun started to shine through the trees.
And just as I did when I was a teenager I grabbed my camera and ran out to photograph this beautiful mood of ghostlike trees and sunbeams cutting through the mist. There had already been such a day a week earlier (which is when I took this photo: www.flickr.com/photos/191055893@N07/51543603732/in/datepo... ), but this time, the horses were also there.
Because of our slightly strained relationship I only took this one photo of them (I now wish I had taken more: talk about missed opportunities), and otherwise concentrated on the landscape. It was only later when I went through all the photos on my computer that I realized that I actually really liked those horses, even despite the whole composition being such a cliché. And I realized another thing: when I drained the photo of all the color, I liked it even better - because there was almost a bit of grain in it, like in the photos from my youth.
Since then I have experimented quite a bit with b/w and sepia compositions (some of which I will upload here eventually I guess), but this photo here is the first one that helped me rediscover my old passion. I hope you like it even though it builds quite a stark contrast with the rest of my tiny - and very colorful - gallery. But in the spirit of showing you the whole Lacerta bilineata habitat (and also in the spirit of expanding my gallery a bit beyond lizards and insects), I think it's not such a bad fit.
As always, many greetings to all of you, have a wonderful day and don't hesitate to let me know what you think 😊
[Papaver orientale “Royal Wedding”]
This poppy in my garden has received the most love, care and attention I could possibly lavish on it, over the past few weeks. I transferred it from a pot in the yard to a new rock container that I made, in the new part of the garden. Initially, it was quite happy and produced a beautiful, large, white flower with a deep purple centre....Then it drooped!!
I decided to get a forked twig to hold up the very delicate head and this seemed to work for a couple of days. Today - the petals are falling off. Such a traumatic time. Who knew?
There are another four flower heads almost ready to bloom, though. Deep breath...
South Carrick Hills
SW Scotland
🎼 “Beautiful Trauma” - P!nk
(cropped)
There was a time when my family and I had an aquarium with 4 fish (one for each member of the family). My mother's fish was very conceited and his name was Nabucodonosor. My sister's was the prettiest. She was always the spoilt child of the house, that's why she could choose the most beautiful fish. His name was Nepomuceno. Mine had to be red, because I was always red of the "Reds" of Anfield, Liverpool and their a cappella song and sporting liturgy "You'll Never Walk Alone". He was an unruly, playful fish I called Nicéforo. And the one my father chose looked helpless and defenceless. He called him Norberto. He chose him because for my father all people deserved respect, but especially the most helpless and defenceless. He also picked up from the street an abandoned and defenceless cat that he also called Norberto. His fixation with this name has always caught my attention. It's strange that my parents didn't decide to call me... Norberto. Someone explained to us that fish have a memory of only a few seconds. Hence the phrase "you have less memory than a fish". But that's not true. Some fish can remember their predators for at least a year. Post-traumatic stress. One of the animals with the shortest memory are seals. Good thing we didn't decide to have four seals at home. The bathtub would have always been occupied. Since the fish didn't pay much attention to us, perhaps because of their lack of memory, we decided to shorten their names. Nabucodonosor became "Na", Nepomuceno "Ne", Nicéforo "Ni" and Norberto "No". They were the "NaNeNiNo". The cat was lucky... He kept his name and continued to be called Norberto. Little by little and one by one, the "NaNeNiNo" left our lives. Nicéforo was the last one. He was left alone in the aquarium / Forbidden City. He was its last tenant and emperor. He appeared one day on the surface with his body arched and lifeless. It was a very sad day for me. I had lost my little "Red", the last emperor of the "NaNeNiNo" dynasty, my little friend "You'll Never Walk Alone"... I lost Ni.
This picture is dedicated to my parents, my sister and the "NaNeNiNo". Well... I also dedicate it to Norberto the cat, although I suspect his feelings towards fish were different from the rest of the family. The aquarium was always dirty on the outside and with smudges of his nose and paws on the glass. Norberto, the cat, had no memory, he lived absolutely in the future, a future more tasty and succulent for him... When he watched the fish, his lower jaw collided with his upper jaw and his teeth began to "chatter". He would run his tongue along the glass of the aquarium, trying to catch one of the "NaNeNiNo".
An Emotional Fish - Careless Child
Se pararon bajo la lluvia y dijeron que no les importaba. Dijeron que ya casi habían llegado y que no estaban solos. Somos almas descuidadas siguiendo una luna descuidada. Cantamos una canción descuidada colgados en una melodía descuidada. Se rieron al sol mejor que nadie. Mejor que nadie que yo haya conocido. ¿Un corazón descuidado dice una verdad descuidada cuando un sueño descuidado acecha a un joven descuidado? ¿Dónde estás ahora niño descuidado? ¿Estabas a mitad de camino y te diste la vuelta o te caíste de un terreno más alto tendiendo la mano? No temas que no nos defraudarás. Lleva tu corazón como una corona. No trates de esconder lo que encontraste... déjalo salir... déjalo salir...
At the end of Pink Floyd's "Fearless", the Liverpool supporters can be heard singing "You'll Never Walk Alone" a capella.
Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
For your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone
Liverpool! Liverpool!
This Is Anfield - You'll Never Walk Alone
....
PS: Parents almost always have solutions for all their children's problems. The loss of "Ni" was replaced by the arrival of a ten-day-old puppy dog, who, if not adopted, was going to be put down. Our particular jungle, which also included a parakeet called "Periquito" ("Parakeet"... It's strange that my father didn't call him Norberto) and two tortoises called Raquel Welch and Brigitte Bardot, was joined by a new member in the form of a puppy dog that we had to feed with hundreds of bottles. What I never understood, and I don't think I ever will understand, is why I named him... Música (Music).
....
PS: Do not turn away from the child you were and that you carry in your heart. Do not betray it. Take care of it and carry it always with you, because then... You'll Never Walk Alone.
Amsterdam - Marius Bauerstraat - Marius Bauerplantsoen
Copyright - All images are copyright © protected. All Rights Reserved. Copying, altering, displaying or redistribution of any of these images without written permission from the artist is strictly prohibited.
Normally, I don't let Rooster out until I know Mama moose has left the premises but she came back so it was a surprise that her and Rooster met up. Now, If any of you wonder what would happen if you encounter any wildlife on the trail how your dog would react....well, they bring them back to you. That's right, Mama moose came galloping right past me down my driveway. She doesn't perceive me as a threat so I was safe. Imagine if that was a bear? Something I learned from this picture is when a moose is perturbed their ears go comically sideways. She has never showed me that facial expression.
Of course, Rooster thinks it is all a game, just another horse on the property.
As a side note, sadly Rooster got ran over by a truck just outside my ranch gate by a passerby going about 80, he was rushed to the Dog ER on Sunday. He suffered a pulmonary contusion so he is on bed rest and as you can imagine not happy about it now that he is on the mend. All a very traumatic ordeal, I will forever be haunted by his cry as he got run over. Hope he has learned his lesson about cars as I never had a dog that didn't respect motorized vehicles. Had I known, I wouldn't have rescued him, there is only one ending, but apparently Rooster has a guardian angel. BTW- ER Vets think you shit out money, just saying. $1600 a night. This dog is going to give me a heart attack yet. Where is my beloved Sadie Dawg when I need her? Heavy sigh....
Yeah
I wake up every morning with my head up in a daze
I'm not sure if I should say this, fuck, I'll say it anyway
Everybody tries to tell me that I'm going through a phase
I don't know if it's a phase, I just wanna feel okay, yeah
I battle with depression, but the question still remains
Is this post-traumatic stressing or am I suppressing rage?
And my doctor tries to tell me that I'm going through a phase
Yeah, it's not a fucking phase, I just wanna feel okay, okay?
Yeah, I struggle with this bullshit every day
And it's probably 'cause my demons simultaneously rage
It obliterates me, disintegrates me, annihilates me
'Cause I'm about to break down, I'm searching for a way out
I'm a liar, I'm a cheater, I'm a non-believer
I'm a popular, popular monster
I break down, falling into love now with falling apart
I'm a popular, popular monster
Yennefer of Vengerberg was born in 1173 or maybe 1192, depending on who is telling the story, with physical deformities because of her 1/4 elven heritage. She was mistreated even by her own family. During a traumatic beating, her magical ability was revealed and she was bought for the price of half a pig by a powerful sorceress who trained her to realize her potential. Her deformities magically healed at extreme personal cost, she was transformed in to the beautiful, ageless, violet-eyed, powerful sorceress, and advisor to kings, who was a major character in the Witcher stories. Understandably, her tragic back story left her with a bit of an attitude. She was the major love interest for Geralt of Rivia (The Witcher).
It took a while but finally got around to doing this! Great books and show! ♥
“There's a quality of legend about freaks.
Like a person in a fairy tale who stops you and demands that you answer a riddle. Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats.”
I already said goodbye.
Two weeks ago my Father passed away from dementia, today was his funeral, I chose to not attend, as we have been estranged for 32 years. Myself and my siblings had a very traumatic childhood because of this man, he was abusive to us all, including my Mum, and we were shown very little love from both parents due to the way he had conditioned her. We spent a large part of our childhood visiting my Mum in a mental hospital, and my older brother pretty much brought us up. I walked away from my Father when my Mum finally divorced him when I was 18. Trying to be a part of his life was too painful, he didn’t seem to care about us. To others he was a wonderful man and would do anything for anyone, but never his own family, a wife and 5 children. I grew up being told I was thick, which did nothing for my self esteem and affected my adult life hugely.
I have been in two minds as to whether to post about this on here for the last two weeks, I am not grieving him, I am grieving for my lost childhood. I have set this to disable the comments, as I am just putting this here so I have a record of it on my blog, and need to move on from this after today, and I don’t want anyone to feel sorry as I am ok, just a very surreal time, and the end of an era, after losing my Mum to cancer in November 2020.
Today we went to Butterfly world as a distraction, and also because it was too cold and wet to shoot outdoors. We had a lovely day.
The crocuses were taken in our garden a few days ago during the cold snap. They survived the storm, and they continue to bloom. ❤️
Much love to you all, dear Flickr friends.
Taking photos of butterflies is another one of my traumatic experiences, since they are quite a tough subject for me. I have never been able to do anything much better than this one. But I´ll keep trying!
MØ - Blur (Official Video) ft. Foster The People Tuuunee ♪ ♫ ♩ ♬
-Cool
-Yeah, you good?
-Yeah
Under the bad, bad moon tonight
Or baby is it just me?
Or is it something in the air we breathe?
‘Cause I’m feeling dizzy, dizzy, ah
How was the party? Was it treating you right?
I wish that I could be there but I’m
Under the bad, bad moon tonight
Baby, can you help me?
Let me out, I’m trapped in a blur
Started out the way I wanted but it’s weird now
Let me out, I’m lost in the words
Too much in my head, I shoulda seen the bad signs
I wanna tell you everything will be fine
But I’m afraid that it’s a waste of your time
Let me out, I’m lost in the words
Don’t know how I ended here
Trapped in a blur
I've had these weird thoughts for a while
Can't shake 'em when I'm so low
Think about it, I'm post-traumatic
All I know is when I'm stressing I smoke more
I hit my friend up on the phone
It only comes out a war zone
Under the bad, bad moon tonight
I just need to come clean
Let me out, I'm trapped in a blur
Started out the way I wanted but it's weird now
Let me out, I'm lost in the words
Too much in my head, I shoulda seen the bad signs . . .
This is an entirely new direction for my photography as well as being deeply personal. On occasion for those who have followed me from the beginning, I have eluded to having experience of mental health issues. The truth is, as is the title of this Album, I suffer from CPTSD, which stands for Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, unlike PTSD that extends from one or two short term incidences of trauma, CPTSD extends from the long term effects of trauma. Sometimes from abuse and trauma having lasted for years or even decades, as such was my case.
This new collection will focus on this condition that was only recognised in the DSM 3 back in 1980 and few people know about it. This hopefully will bring about awareness of the condition and help others who suffer from trauma based condition to feel comfortable to speak about it.
Frankly, I couldn't give a shit if I don't get much in the way of faves/likes, it's the information I want to get out and the therapy it serves me and maybe others. Thank you if you read all this, means a lot.
I trust everyone is well and so as always, thank you!
PS: and yes, that is me ;)
Something soft and gentle to take you into the weekend after this very traumatic week. This little colt is just a few weeks old. He is taking a little rest white the rest of his band of wild horses get their drinks and wash off in the water.
Colorado Wild Horses
Fortunately Psycho only needed 2 teeth removed, but it was so traumatic, especially for me !! She spent a couple of days cleaning her right paw where the IV was inserted. Thank you to all of my Flickr cat friends who helped to soothe my nerves when I found out about it. She is doing just fine now :))
Fuji X-Pro1 plus Pergear fisheye lens 10mm/F5.6. I can't really translate "Blumenzwang". It is a medical condition that has not yet been taken seriously. The sufferer from this condition feels a need to be permanently surrounded by flowers. It can lead to traumatic experiences. Apart from this, I am trying out this tiny and inexpensive fisheye lens.
Any one of the issues below could make any of us homeless!
ADDICTION. Probably the most common stereotype of chronically homeless people is that they are drug and alcohol addicts...
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. ...
MENTAL ILLNESS. ...
JOB LOSS AND UNDEREMPLOYMENT. ...
FORECLOSURE. ...
POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS. ...
THROW AWAY TEENS. ...
LOW AND UNDER PAID WAGES...
UNOBTAINABLE HEALTH CARE...
GRIEF AND DISPAIR...
So, please don't judge...
AI
Any one of the issues below could make any of us homeless!
ADDICTION. Probably the most common stereotype of chronically homeless people is that they are drug and alcohol addicts...
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. ...
MENTAL ILLNESS. ...
JOB LOSS AND UNDEREMPLOYMENT. ...
FORECLOSURE. ...
POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS. ...
THROW AWAY TEENS. ...
LOW AND UNDER PAID WAGES...
UNOBTAINABLE HEALTH CARE...
GRIEF AND DISPAIR...
So, please don't judge...
AI
The image I have of a different world. Somewhere that's been hit by trauma whether it be by a traumatic storm or a planet somewhere in the galaxy.
In reality, it's a photo of a reflection of long grass at the tip of a burn leading to the sea. I just rotated photo.
My first ever screen name was Candacia Varriale, I recently remade this character in a mesh version and have done absolutely nothing with her, but I do have very fond memories of "being her" for my first few years in this virtual world.
Back then I would role play, something I never had a tremendous amount of time to do but thoroughly enjoyed. Today I hate it, it just eats up so much time and I can't get into it like I could back then. Plus, I can't type a lot when I'm online without drawing a crowd so it's a big no no for me. But back then, it was fun, fun with an *.
Why do I say that? Because almost nobody at all liked me. I played my own game, I didn't go by the rules of a sim. I treated each sim like it was another city in an infinite amount of opportunities to go write my own story, and people hated how assertive I was. I only got to play once in a blue moon, so I wasn't going to waste my time drinking fake whiskey at a bar complaining, I was going to get straight to the point and come do what I set out to do that day/night.
Candy as she was called since Candacia is a mouthful would "hunt the hunter". Second life is popular with a certain type of people, a lot of us have kidnap fantasies, rape fantasies, torture fantasies, not a lot of us really want to experience those things, so our poor avatars take the bullet for us. Candy liked to catch these predators in the act and make them pay for their crimes, turn the tables on them. Payback for her, and my, own traumatic childhood. Since half of the SL population plays the game with their joystick in their other hand you can imagine how popular this made me. No one wants to see a gun in their face while they're beating off. I was called every dirty name that exists, and that was ok with me because occasionally I also found the "cream of the crop" in role players, men and women who loved the idea of what I was doing and wanted to be a part of it.
I miss those days sometimes, I'd never have time for it anymore, I'd certainly never get the privacy required, but I do sometimes wish I could go back and run it all over again one more time.
Yesterday, I watched the Mystify: Michael Hutchence documentary film on Netflix. It is such a sad story of a how a superstar ended his life. I was totally overwhelmed.
It is the advise of how an accident can change things permanently. A traumatic brain injury in 1992 changed his life, changed his personal relationship, and definitely changed the destiny of INXS, one of my all time favorite bands.
On the morning of 22 November 1997, Michael Hutchence, the leader and singer of the rock band INXS was found dead in his hotel room in Sydney. His death was reported by the New South Wales Coroner to be the result of suicide by hanging. In the autopsy report they found permanent areas of brain damage on his frontal lobes.
This song was written by Hutchence and completed by his long time friend Bono, from U2.
"I wanted to let it go
Just couldn't let it go
I wanted to let it go
Just couldn't let you go
I would catch you
(Just couldn't let you go)
I'd catch you as you fall
(Just couldn't let it go)
I would catch you
(Just couldn't let you go)
I'd catch you if I heard your call
But you tore a hole in space
Like a dark star, falls from grace
You burn across the sky
And I would find you wings to fly
And I would catch you
I would catch your fall
I just wanna slide away and come alive again"
featuring:
Ananas// Casual-Tee (available @ Salem)
Ananas// Casual-Tee - Pencil in the eyeball
other things on me:
DOUX - Sam Hairstyle
Hotdog - Broken glasses . Silver
.Inkhole. Pop Earring
persephone + sanguine
Izzie's - Lel Evo X - Blood and Wounds
Gloom. - Traumatic Collection - Stressed Blue
bg:
[CX] For a Good Time Backdrop
*pm* Haunted Woods Witch - White Handprints Wall Decal
Duckie+Hotdog - Stick it in you . axe head
Hair: Olive - The Asleep Hair RARE @EPIPHANY
Skin: Deetalez - Addison
Head: LeLutka - Zora
Body: Legacy - Meshbody
Ears: Mandala - Stretched Ears S2
Eyes: Gloom - Traumatic Collection @EPIPHANY
Makeup: Suicidal Unborn - Necromancer Set
Torso: Fika - Chassis Augmentation @MAINFRAME Jan20
Tattoo/Ball: This is Wrong - Magma @EPIPHANY
Panties: Duckie - Candor Gacha @EPIPHANY
Halo: Lux Aeterna - Daughter of Dawn Gacha @EPIPHANY
Macro Mondays theme iSpy with a e i o u
Achillea millefolium Terracotta in shades of orange, my favourite flower currently in bloom in the garden (nothing much else is in bloom as we are stuck under a permanent cover of cloud and rain, soon to change - I hope).
Commiserations to all who were rooting for England to win the Euros last night and Congratulations to Italy! It was a traumatic game to watch and a tough way to loose.
Happy Macro Mondays! 😊
Finally, after a divisive, drawn out, traumatic process for many people, Australia Votes
Yes to same sex Marriage
Nearly 13 million people voted in the voluntary survey, about an 80 % participation which was alot more than anticipated. 61.6 per cent of those voted Yes. About 38 per cent voted No. Every state and territory voted Yes.
This adult is in active wing moult, having replaced most of its primaries (from the inside of the wing outwards) except the outer two. Secondaries are also being replaced. they generally keep a low profile when going through this as flight ability must be compromised with all those feathers missing. Moulting is also heavy on the birds' resources so the disturbance of moulting flocks of seabirds and waders can be quite traumatic
Fragmented Time is a composite of images licensed from Shutterstock. It shows time as seen by those who suffer from Post Traumatic Stress- a life lived in two worlds at the same time.
The only constant in life is change. As energy bathes us, and water cools us, time shifts forward. Our memories are like this landscape, etched into our brains as traumatic storms and gleeful experiences create pathways. With landscapes these pathways are as clear as our memories, but never permanent except for in this moment.
Puffins from Bempton Cliffs in Yorkshire
sharing a tender moment!
Sorry not been around, but had my back operation last week... rather traumatic!!
then two days later Sadly had to take my beautiful Ziggy (ginger tom) on his last journey... now in cat heaven with his friends
"Celosia",we write in Japanese as"鶏頭",it is because flowers are resembling chicken's crown. 伊藤若冲(Jakuchu Itou)
's painting "Pair of Chicken"is famous but for me the way of painting details are almost traumatic,it's awesome though, I like his lithograph more than 100times.
Cynophobia: fear of dogs. A traumatic encounter with a dog, or growing up in a family that fears dogs, may be at the core of this phobia.
image is 2.9 "w by 2.6" h
Thank you for taking the time to view my photo, and for the faves and comments you make, thank you.
At some point in time people stood in the valley far below and thought, 'I want to climb up there, strap sticks on my feet and jet back down.....'
Ever since I got lost in the forest service roads around Kelly Butte I developed a fear of heights, can't even tell you how traumatic it was trying to turn Gertrude around on narrow roads (you know, the 100 point turn) with steep drop offs, or backing up and having to grab large rocks to bounce the arse end back straight because the road was too steep to engage 4X and all I could do was spin tires so when Darling Tonia said she wanted to ride the gondola up here she paused and added well maybe you can wait at the bar.... I thought a moment and literally said fear of heights is all in a person's head and from now on I am no longer afraid. I didn't have any problem at all, she got a bit motion sick..... :)
Our sweet little Japanese Maple...We planted her about 12 years ago, then built our patio and pergola around her 1 1/2 years ago. We were nervous all the construction of it would be traumatic, but she did fine! We call her Mapley. :)
Years ago, when Statevillain was earning the name, I used to go west of those 33 foot walls and lean against my car as the Sun set with a large fountain Coke and decompress from the stress and chaos of a traumatic day. Rough days have become a lot easier over time by finding the best therapist in the Heavens.
This is my second instalment for the CPTSD collection, the purpose of this is to highlight not only the cruelty of constant name calling, but just how it sticks in the mind. Even as I typed, printed and stuck these all over the wall, the memories come back. School bullies, toxic relationships, toxic family members, internet trolls, tyrannical bosses, the list goes on and on. One thing is for sure, bullying, in no matter what format it may occur, you never forget it.
Now you're probably wondering about the mask, well, this photo nails two aspects in one, not only bullying in the form of name calling and/or put downs, but also a type of coping mechanism. As a way to handle the constant onslaught of verbal abuse, a young mind such as a child, will adopt a idiosyncratic identity, like a virtual character mask, i.e. act like a clown anyway and the real identity beneath is protected; but of course this has a huge back firing aspect, the true identity behind and the coping mechanism are all one and the same thing, bullies also then start to see you more so as the clown/freak they think you already are, so in essence, you become what they perceive you as, and the bullying just gets worse.
And of course, when you act like a clown, no one really takes you seriously when you complain about said bullying, as many now see you as the instigator, even though it was designed to help cope with it all, but the question remains, how the bloody hell is a bullied child supposed to explain that?!
I hope everyone is well and as always, thank you. :)
PS: been a bit slow putting up new material as I have been dealing with yet another episode of depression this week. Urgh! Which will more than likely be the subject of my next photo.
This is the best thing I've done in my life - taking these five dogs into my life and into my heart.
Dixie:
Little 6-pound Shih-Tzu mix. She was found wandering in a garden nursery business. She was estimated to be 9-10 years old. I adopted her at a shelter. She was my first very own dog. She lived another 10 years! I took her everywhere with me and absolutely adored her. When Rex and Sadie later joined the family, she was the boss of them!
Rex:
I witnessed him get hit by a car. He was able to run away and the car drove off. I was concerned about him and went to find him. Some people had put out a blanket for him under some stairs as he was an abandoned dog that had been living there for a little while. It was January and I took him home and to the vet the next day. He had a hairline fracture in the pelvis. Later I discovered he had been adopted from a shelter and then abandoned. Rex was only 1 year old, a beautiful red Golden Retriever. He was so loving and I grew to love his sunny disposition so much. He lived for another 11 years.
Sadie:
I rescued Sadie from a situation of severe neglect. She was kept tied up all alone in an empty pasture. The day I rescued her, she had gotten tangled up in the rope like in a straitjacket and I will never forget the look in her eyes. She told me that if I didn't rescue her now, she was going to lose her mind. So I did rescue her. She was a large Labrador mix. Even though she got to be 100 pounds, she liked to climb into my lap like a little Chihuahua and was the sweetest girl ever! She was about 3 years old when I rescued her and lived another 8 years.
Blanca:
My dearest soul mate. She had been born in Tennessee and transported to a shelter in Florida where I was volunteering and I adopted her at 8 months old. She was a stunningly beautiful Border Collie mix, but she was emaciated, timid and I don't think she had ever been inside a house before. She had so much neurotic energy in the beginning that she was almost unmanageable. I used exercise to help get it all out of her, but in retrospect I wonder if that contributed to the severe arthritis that plagued her later. I had the privilege of her presence for 10-1/2 years and still miss her every day.
Tidda:
An Australian Cattle Dog mix whom I adopted from a shelter a month after Blanca's passing in 2021. Tidda was about 5 years old then and had some serious trauma and PTSD issues. She had been found in Modesto, California. I think she was abused at some point, and probably also had other traumatic events happen to her. She was very challenging and many of you will remember how she ran away in a panic one time and was missing for 25 days. Loud sounds terrify her and she sees every person as a threat, but alone with me she is a happy sweetie and we have settled into a good way to live and help each other.
Any one of the issues below could make any of us homeless!
ADDICTION. Probably the most common stereotype of chronically homeless people is that they are drug and alcohol addicts...
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. ...
MENTAL ILLNESS. ...
JOB LOSS AND UNDEREMPLOYMENT. ...
FORECLOSURE. ...
POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS. ...
THROW AWAY TEENS. ...
LOW AND UNDER PAID WAGES...
UNOBTAINABLE HEALTH CARE...
GRIEF AND DISPAIR...
So, please don't judge...
AI
This building opened in 1934 as a veterans treatment center for veterans of WWl. This included the main building as well as the separate Veterans Dining Block. Expansions were made in 1945 and reopened in 1949 as the Crease Clinic of Psychological Medicine, a short-term psychological treatment center. Now used almost exclusively for film production, including episodes of the X-files.
Coquitlam, BC Canada
*No copies or reproductions please and thank-you
Riverview Hospital is a Canadian mental health facility located in Coquitlam, British Columbia. It operated under the governance of BC Mental Health & Addiction Services when it closed in July 2012.
Thank-you for all the overwhelming support and many friendships. Wishing you all health during this difficult time.
Stay Healthy, both physically and 'mentally', as these are challenging times.
~Christie
**Best experienced in full screen
Liturgical language is action language. It coaxes people reduced to passivity by traumatic disruptions to move back together in a common effort. Liturgies are public events that require people to gather, to use gestures and speech in an embodied enactment of a new relationship with God. They provide patterned forms of praying and create a sense of order. They offer language to heal “ruptures in the cultural system of knowing” and promote cultural continuity by evoking prayers of the past. “They piece together the traditions,” retrieving, reclaiming, reassembling them to make meaning in the present. Rituals draw people back to one another from isolating pain and severed bonds that follow disaster. They stir people to life, require exertion and participation, and serve as an antidote to victimhood and helplessness.
-Jeremiah PAIN AND PROMISE, Kathleen M. O’Connor
My last contribution for this iteration of 52 weeks for dogs is a picture of two of the most important beings in my life, idling away on new year's morning :)
One of the very few positive side effects of the Covid-19 pandemic is that we had a "Böllerverbot" again in Germany this new year's eve – which means, a ban on private fireworks. It was forbidden to buy fireworks and/or launch them from public places, in order to free hospitals from the additional stress of having to care for people who've blown off their limbs.
So, for the second year in a row, new year's eve was not the traumatic experience it usually is for our dogs.
I wish you all a Happy New Year 2022, and I'll see you again with Buba next week :)
"That's what you do best
(Why) why was it easy for you?
(Did) did I deserve the abuse?
(I) I can't believe I let it
(Not) not what I wanted
(See) see through your bullshit
(You're) you're so traumatic
(True) true to your form of
(Face) every consequence
(Un) unintimidated
('Til) 'til the very end
(It) it'll never happen
(Was) was it all a lie?
(Too) many motherfuckin'
(Late) that's what you do best
(Lie) that's what you do best".
---
"Eso es lo que mejor haces
(Por qué) ¿Por qué fue fácil para ti?
(Será que) ¿Será que merecía el abuso?
(Yo) no puedo creer que lo permití
(No) no es lo que quería
(Mira) mira a través de tu mierda
(Eres) eres tan dramático
(Fiel) fiel a tu forma de
(Enfrentar) cada consecuencia
(Sin) sin intimidación
(Hasta) hasta el final
(Eso) eso nunca sucederá
(Fue) ¿Fue todo una mentira?
(Muchos) muchos hijos de puta
(Tarde) eso es lo que mejor haces
(Mentira) eso es lo que mejor haces".
P. Einar
I hope that you like it ^.^
*If you need any data about this photo, ask me please. Too, you can find the other products in older posts.
Eyeshadow & Lipstick: Phyllis eyemakeup & lips by Zibska *Get this item at the Anthem event!* www.flickr.com/photos/132628118@N06/
Eyes/face tattoo: Traumatic collection (albino/bloody & cuts) by GLOOM *Get this item at the Epiphany event!* www.flickr.com/photos/152881403@N04/
Barn-ey, the abandoned and aging barn does indeed suffer from post - traumatic stress due to the loss of use and care that he was given in the past.
Barn-ey deals with his issues, as best he can, including watching the planes taking off and landing at the neighboring Edmonton International Airport.
One can see the old airport tower in the background.
Life is full of experiences. We wouldn't be living if we don't have them. It is how we learn. How would we know what life is without them?
To name a few; affectionate experiences, emotional experiences, desire experiences, sensational experiences, traumatic experiences, transformational experiences.
Isn't it amazing how these life experiences shape us into the individuals we are. They shape how we define people different from ourselves.
We can get lost in them. Sometimes we even lose ourselves in them.
I believe each experience we have continuously shape us. I believe we are constantly changing. I believe our core values and morals never change but I am here to testify all of my good and traumatic experiences have shaped me.
Sometimes I forget who I am then I take a breath, look back through my past, the good, bad and ugly and I smile.
I smile because without each loving, joyful, painful experience life wouldn't have been worth living without every experience I've had.
Tonight, I am thinking about the pain I've caused others, I am thinking of the hearts I broke and it saddens me and although these thoughts are painful I am grateful for the experiences because now I know what not to do. Now I know what not to get involved in. Now I know.... Now I know I am no longer.... lost.
Through some relational turmoil years back an idea of how to portray the view of drowning from above, yet connected to it, and at the same time lend a mild feeling of that experience without actually , of course, drowning. Mid turmoil felt exactly that way for a while.
Feel free to write what you feel when you look at it. For me, my throat tightens up and I feel suffocated.
No layers, filters or add on's , just a light , camera , a lens and what is seen here. Micro Nikkor 55mm 3.5 ai.