View allAll Photos Tagged Punchline
“I don’t like geese.” A pause. “I’m a vegetarian.” A further moment was allowed to pass while he waited for a reaction. We laughed, out of politeness rather than amusement because we’d both heard better ones than this, but now the man sitting on the bench decided he had our attention. Beside him sat a lady, also aged about sixty who we assumed was his wife. She was silent and expressionless. In between us were the pair of wandering Canada Geese that I’d made the mistake of commenting on. “My wife’s a vegetarian.” Another pause. “in between meals,” he continued. And then, “do you believe in the afterlife?” At this Ali and I looked at each other nervously – we didn’t want to get into a debate on theology and I hadn’t recently considered my views on the subject. But before we could respond, “I don’t. Which is strange because I did in my previous life.” We breathed again. At least we weren’t being invited to discuss philosophy. I’m not sure where he’d bought his Christmas crackers the previous December, but hoped he’d increase the budget next time so that he could invest in some with better jokes inside them.
We were in a narrowboat; all sixty-seven feet of it floating at the bottom of a slowly filling lock on the southern outskirts of Oxford. And there’s a thing about locks. People like to sit beside them and watch the boating community going about their leisure. They even have a name – gongoozlers. I’ve no idea who came up with that term, but I kind of like it because it sounds as eccentric as some of the people it describes. In many uncomfortable situations you can smile gently and keep walking. But when you’re temporarily moored in these middle worlds between different levels of the river, then for ten minutes or so you’re at the mercy of would be comics and other all sorts of other interesting oddballs. A few years earlier at Marlow an American lady who was sitting on a bench high above us appeared to have taken quite a shine to me as in our hired Victorian camping skiff we rode the incoming white water for which the lock has a certain notoriety. I’m not sure exactly what she was trying to say, but as she fixed me in her sights it involved a lot of frantic arm movement and a degree of excited placing both her hands on top of the sun hat she was wearing. Maybe she was communicating with semaphore signals and assumed that as hardened seadogs we'd understand. I knew the Morse code for SOS, but that was about it. In fact I was beginning to think I might need it. She said she loved old boats. At least I think that’s what she said. It was all rather charming, if more than a little odd, and certainly one of the more unusual exchanges I’d had that week. Both of my children, with whom I was rowing on that first Thames trip in 2011 felt that she was hoping for a dinner invitation aboard our vessel at the very least. She’d have probably changed her mind if she’d got close enough to discover what a middle aged man smells like after three hard days of rowing.
Back at the edge of Oxford, Ali and I were on the foredeck, me holding a line to keep the bow steady in the rising water. At the stern my brother Dave, his son Sam and my son Tom handled the business end of our home for the week. I was quite content not to get involved in the steering, besides which my brother, who despite being nearly fifty was still a couple of years away from finally taking his driving test was proving to be an admirable captain on the water. I was coming towards the end of one of the most difficult periods of my life, during which the sudden and awful loss of a close colleague at work saw me involuntarily elevated into the boardroom for a year. Me! I wasn’t remotely interested in what went on behind the door where the power lay. Suddenly I was embroiled in the politics of Further Education, working even more all consuming hours than before, while all I really wanted to do was gaze out of the window and daydream. I’m good at daydreaming. But a finance specialist was needed at the top table, and they either brought in a consultant, who’d spend his or her entire time asking me everything and getting paid half as much again as I was, or I did the job myself. Maybe I’d emerge stronger and more rounded at the end of it. We’re shaped by our experiences after all. I’d always wondered how the high flyers ever found any time for real life, and now I was learning that they didn’t. That year, work stole almost every waking hour of my existence. If I wasn’t working, I was thinking about it, or more often fretting about it. The only escape was taking photos, and the opportunities for that were limited. By the end of the spring term, I was running on fumes, and sitting on the foredeck of a narrowboat surrounded by nature for a week was the perfect respite before the final three months of intensity would try to finish me off completely. And now we were in a lock, being addressed by somebody who apparently regarded himself as a stand up comedian. With geese as props.
“I don’t like geese. I’m a vegetarian.” Hadn’t we already heard this one? And then, “My wife’s a vegetarian.” We knew what was coming next. This time he waited for a response to the afterlife question, but the punchline remained the same. The lock was almost full, both of us willing the final few hundred gallons of water through the sluices to bring us level with the river on the upstream side. In a few moments we’d be released, but he’d already started on his routine for the third time. All the while, the lady beside him sat unmoving, totally impassive as if in some form of stasis. “Do you believe in the afterlife?” we heard as finally the lock gates opened and we began to move forward. The man stood up, and for an alarming moment I thought he was going to chase us along the bank in the world’s slowest race, repeating his three jokes as if they were some form of mantra. But fortunately, our blistering pace of two and a half miles per hour was a little too much for him. We looked back as a wave of relief spread over us, only to see he was now level with the rear cabin and our captain; a new audience. “Do you believe in the afterlife?” The words crept away behind us on the receding air. He’d begun to vary the order of his routine. Still, his companion never uttered a word. She’d obviously heard it all before, probably several times already that afternoon in fact.
Gradually we made our escape towards Oxford, passing through the next lock without being heralded by any further wannabe Butlin’s redcoats. There’s an excellent artisan food market in a square nearby if you moor up below Osney Bridge. I can’t remember where exactly, somewhere close to a pub amusingly named the Four Candles; but you could sample all the flavours of the world at the overwhelming multitude of brightly coloured stalls there, given a couple of weeks of happy gluttony. I think I might have gone with the Korean katsu chicken, but then again it could have been the Sri Lankans that won me over. When we returned to the boat, a pair of anglers had been fishing old slime covered bicycles out of the Thames. They asked if they were ours. Strange things happen in cities. A couple of hours later and we were chugging out to the north of Oxford, past Port Meadow, across which you can see those famous dreaming spires in the distance.
Of course, we discussed him at the time. It had been a bizarre exchange. Quite hilarious in retrospect now that we’d got over the discomfort of being anchored to the spot in the face of a rotating sequence of terrible gags. Why on earth did he keep telling the same three jokes? He must drive her mad, mustn’t he? How does she put up with it? But it was only much later that the episode came back to me and I wondered whether we’d overlooked something terribly sad. To our inexpert eyes, there was no trace of anything to cause alarm, but maybe he had dementia? Maybe he was unwell in some other way. Maybe we’d leapt to conclusions as we were stationed in that lock. Perhaps the lady was his carer as well as his wife. We’ll never know. First impressions are so powerful at times and it’s easy to ignore the possibilities. And actually, I thought the afterlife joke was quite funny. Not so amusing that it needed to be repeated three more times though.
But if you ever want to escape; to truly escape from life for a while, and despite the appearance of the occasional person of interest at your bow, you can do a lot worse than take to the river. The world is a more peaceful place when seen at two and a half miles per hour. We’ve met people who live full time on their boats, and I’ve seldom seen such happy souls elsewhere. With kingfishers, herons and even geese all around to make your world a voyage of discovery, there’s not much more you could ever really want is there?
Two ladies sitting on a wall. One the storyteller, one the audience. I have no clue who they are, but they were obviously enjoying each other's company.
Alter Ego: Jacked Jester
Name: Milo Maddox
Allegiance: Villain
Powers:
* He gets stronger and more durable in the presence of laughter, more so the mild chemical pheromones when one laughs. His strength can rapidly increase from a roomful of peoples laughter to just one.
* Super senses and an enhanced healing factor
Weapons: None
Key Weakness: His "Jacked State" only lasts for about 10 minutes, after he has cooled down he returns back to normal.
Origin:
Milo was always a natural comedian, it's what stopped his scrawny butt getting kicked at school by bullies. He noticed as he got older it made him feel something else, he used to think it was confidence but it was strength, the more he made everyone laugh the stronger he got physically. Milo was a sharp guy but he decided to go down a path of villainy with these abilities instead of heroism. As a way of committing crimes he often goes to a stand up open mic night and will deliver a few jokes to the audience, get Jacked up on pheromones then commit a heist with his super strength that he gained and deliver a different type of punchline.
© Leanne Boulton, All Rights Reserved
Candid street shot of something that is obviously funny, taken in Glasgow, Scotland.
So you see, the Daleks have invaded Earth and are looking for work.
I keep thinking of different punchlines, but I don't want to risk being "ex-ter-min-ated"
Explore July 19,2012 HP 76
The obvious punchline would be, "Very carefully!" However this very large Huntsman spider was tricky for me. He was at the insectarium and his legs spanned around 12-18 inches wide!! I couldn't get a close up in focus shot of his eyes and face without chopping off a few legs (in photoshop not in real life!) I am not sure if this worked or not as I lost the perspective on how huge he was even if I did get those eyeballs.
The insectarium gives me a wonderful place to practice my macro photography but it does have its own set of challenges! All insects are behind glass so I have to be really careful with glare. If I had wanted to (which in the case of this spider I did NOT want to) I can't move the insect or myself to a better position. It is also low indoor lighting as is seen in public aquariums. However the interesting subjects can't be beat!
The giant huntsman spider is the largest member of the Sparassidae family, boasting a 30 centimeter (12 inch) leg-span, and 4.6 centimeter (1.8 inches) body-length.
Ed R. Levin County Park, Milpitas, CA
兒子是獨生子, 4歲之後就跟著我們兩個爸媽在美國的加州喬治亞州四處飄蕩, 最後終於因老公進入SMU讀博士班而落腳德州.
沒有機會好好的讀幼稚園, 又跟著當時不會講流利英文的爸媽, 進了一年級的他真是沒少吃苦頭, 同班的小朋友因跟他溝通不良, 學校又規定他每天必須在ESL Class中消磨3個小時再回原教室, 相處的時間比其他同學少, 他在班上幾乎沒有朋友, 下了課回家除了喜歡玩Baseball card外就是愛讀這種riddle joke的書.
晚上就愛拿這種"冷笑話"似的問題考我們這對美國土包子, 當然10考9倒了...那天在拍鳥時看到這隻火雞跑過馬路, 腦中不由想起兒子最愛問的這一題:Why did the chicken cross the road?...心上突然湧上一種酸疼的感覺....
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle joke. The answer or punch line is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times
"Elvis has left the building" is a phrase that was often used by public address announcers at the conclusion of Elvis Presley concerts in order to disperse audiences who lingered in hopes of an encore. It has since become a catchphrase and punchline.
The phrase was first used by promoter Horace Logan at the Hirsch Memorial Coliseum on the fairgrounds of the Louisiana State Fair in Shreveport, Louisiana, on December 15, 1956.[2] Elvis had appeared in the middle of the night's lineup, and Logan needed to quiet the audience so that the remaining performers could play. The full quotation was:
All right, all right, Elvis has left the building. I've told you absolutely straight up to this point. You know that. He has left the building. He left the stage and went out the back with the policemen and he is now gone from the building
Make up your own punchlines: I'm saying nothing...
Manchester, Portland Street, 03/08/2009. Posted 11/06/2020.
May 4, 1991: I made this photo of my dear friend Max Graber on the CNO&TP Second District at Garland Bend, Kentucky. Born Max Hansford Graber, Jr., and mostly known as "Big Mac," Max was a near constant railfan companion of mine in the late 80s and early 90s. Seldom carrying a camera, unless it was his Kodak Instamatic, he was nevertheless an enthusiastic observer of the railroad scene, always ready for a trip to Loyall or a chase over the Southern Railway Appalachia District. He would often exclaim "Oh hell, oh yeah!" whenever he'd seen an exciting train, or, more often, as an added punchline to some particularly ribald story he'd just recounted to us.
Max passed away in the late summer of 1994. At his funeral, the minister asked for a moment of silence so everyone could reflect on what Max meant to them. In a perfect coincidence, in that hushed quiet, a CSX train could be heard blowing its horn in the distance, a sublime tribute to our friend.
I still miss him today.
summer day sixteen
Listen to the song I'm currently addicted to
Teenage Dream by Katy Perry
So I finally got my new 50mm f/1.8 lens today! I went out during the evening and took pictures of literally everything. The bokeh, the focus, the sharpness, I think I'm in love with this lens, can I marry you?
Also, I want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who've been looking through my photostream lately, my photos had more comments and favorites, and that means a lot to me! So thank you(:
ACTIVITY: Black, White, and Red theme party
OUTFIT: Nubby Twiglet T, secondhand pleather skirt
LEGWARE: garter belt from Fredrick's of Hollywood, Leg Avenue checkered stocking, We Love Colors striped stocking, Ellie stripper heels
ACCESSORIES: DIY "I Love Glasses" tote with various secondhand red buttons, Liz Clairborne red/black striped scarf-as-belt (barf?), cutoff We Love Colors socks as armwarmers, vintage black leather gloves, Yankee Trader sunnies that I'm gonna get relensed in clear 'script lenses, one red and one white hair elastic, Torrid hair bow
PUNCHLINE: a newspaper
79
+1 in comments
I spent a lot of time in the rain today, it was nice.
I'm sorry for everything
I did to you, I didn't mean it
late for my own funeral
as usual
if I could if I tried anyway
said that I learned my lesson
but I make the same mistakes again
think about this every day
Please let me know if you blog my photo.
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Why did the helmeted guinea fowl cross the road? I'm still looking for a punchline. Anyway, this fowl was crossing the approach road as we left Sopa Lodge and began our trip out of Serengeti National Park. c.2019 John M. Hudson | jmhudson1.com
Not quite sure what the punchline of that should be.
I took this on a recent trip to Paris for Samsung's NX Speed Pass event, check out what I got up to in Paris and more photos from the trip in this blog post. While I was there I also got to see how my Brighton Swimming photos are being used to promote an exhibition at the Palais Da Tokyo, read more about that on my blog here.
Taken on a Samsung NX300. The NX300 Tiny DSLR like camera it dose not have a viewfinder which means the camera is really small but it has an APS-C size sensor. Read my Samsung NX300 review here.
There is a whole story here so I feel like I'm getting to the punchline before giving you everything else. But I just couldn't wait to work up this one sequence. So here is a snippet of how I spent my sunrise on this cloudy/rainy morning, and how I spent an hour of my afternoon when I should have been working, hah! This is a nest that was very high up in a tree stump, which is unique for ground and mound nesting canada geese. And it's really a beautiful nest site which I have only monitored for a few days. There was drama this morning with another pair wanting the nest before the original family had even vacated! So a whole story will be shared. But right now, I'm too busy monitoring a wood duck nest and working my day job. So here's the punchline, before you hear the full story. It WILL be worth the wait. Stay safe!
A smooth-playing guitarist plays an easy-listening classic in the center of Broad Street in downtown Columbus, Georgia.
Driving round in my Dad's Datsun, Mr Heyl and Mr Jackson enjoying the 1976 weather.
Make up your own punchline!
“What’s that Aqua?” asked Girl.
“New joke,” replied Aqua.
“Oh god,” whimpered Girl.
“It’s got a punchline about chemistry,” said Aqua.
“May I hear it?” asked Girl, for reasons unknown.
“Nah,” said Aqua, “it won’t get a reaction.”
~
LittleFears.co.uk
Tuesday night's dinner. Also part of a punchline to one of my dad's favorite jokes: "Arty Chokes 3 for a Dollar."
If his alter-identity were actually known to the world, Dick Grayson would have earned himself PE extra credit for kayoing the randy, natty, nasty henchman Nick in the ensuing climactic fistfight on the gym floor, and defending Woodrow Roosevelt's honor against Joker and his high-school dropout jokelings, the Bad Pennies.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXtsGAkyeIo
Only
Nicki Minaj
Yo, I never fucked Wayne, I never fucked Drake
All my life, man, fuck's sake
If I did I did a menage with 'em
And let 'em eat my ass like a cupcake
My man full, he just ate, I don't duck nobody but tape
Yeah, that was a set up for a punchline on duct tape
Worried bout if my butt's fake
Worried 'bout John's singing us Drake
These girls are my sons, John and Kate plus eight
When I walk in, sit up straight, I don't give a fuck if I was late
Dealing with my man on a G5 is my idea of an update
Hut one, hut two, big titties, big butt too
Fuck with them real niggas who don't tell niggas what they up to
Had to show bitches where the top is, ring finger where the rock is
These hoes couldn't test me even if their name was pop quiz
Bad bitches who I fuck with, mad bitches we don't fuck with
I don't fuck with them chickens unless they last name is cutlet
Let it soak in, like seasonin'
And tell 'em, tell 'em blow me, Lance Stephenson
Raise your bottle and cup in the sky
Sparks in the air like the fourth of July
Nothing but bad bitches in here tonight
Oh, if you lame and you know it be quiet
Nothing but real niggas only, bad bitches only
Rich niggas only, independent bitches only
Boss niggas only, thick bitches only
I got my real niggas here by my side, only
I never fucked Nicki cause she got a man
But when that's over then I'm the first in line
And the other day in her Maybach
I thought god damn, this is the perfect time
We had just come from that video
You know LA traffic, how the city slow
She was sitting down on that big butt
But I was still staring at the titties though
Yeah, low key it may be high key
I been peeped that you like me you know
Who the fuck you really wanna be with besides me?
I mean it doesn't take much for us to do this shit quietly, I mean
She say I'm obsessed with thick women and I agree
That's right I like my girls BBW, yeah
Type to wanna suck you dry and then eat some lunch with you
So thick that everyone else in the room is so uncomfortable
Ass on Houston Texas, but the face look just like Claire Huxtable
Oh, yeah, you the man in the city when the mayor fuck with you
The NBA players fuck with you
The bad ass bitches doing makeup and hair fuck with you
Oh, that's cause I believe in something, and I stand for it
And Nicki if you ever tryna fuck
Just give me the heads up so I can plan for it
Raise your bottle and cup in the sky
Sparks in the air like the fourth of July
Nothing but bad bitches in here tonight
Oh, if you lame and you know it be quiet
Nothing but real niggas only, bad bitches only
Rich niggas only, independent bitches only
Boss niggas only, thick bitches only
I got my real niggas here by my side, only
I never fucked Nicki and that's fucked up
If I did fuck she'd be fucked up
Whoever is hittin' ain't hittin' it right
Cause she actin' like she need dick in her life
That's another story, I'm no story teller
I piss greatness like gold is yellow
All my goons so overzealous
I'm from Holly Groove, the holy Mecca
Accountant say I got money for days
I squirm and I shake, but I'm stuck in my ways
My girl from a Bida if she wave
Baby and I fucked with her surfboard, surfboard
My eyes are so bright, I take cover for shade
Don't have my money? I take mothers instead
You got the hickups, you swallowed the truth
Then I make you burp boy, treat me like sirloin
I'm talkin' bout runnin' in houses with arm and guns
So think about your son and daughter rooms
Got two goons and they got smaller guns
Ain't thinkin' bout your son and daughter rooms
This is just crazy my nigga, I mean brazy my nigga
That money talk, I just rephrase it my nigga
Blood gang take the B, I'll behave ya
I'm niggas is for reals
If you mouth off, I blow your face off
I mean pop-pop-pop, then I take off
Now you see me, now you don't
Like Jamie Foxx, acting like Ray Charles
16 in a clip, one in the chamber
17 Ward bully with 17 bullets
My story is how I went from poor me
To police pour me a drink and celebrate with me
Raise your bottle and cup in the sky
Sparks in the air like the fourth of July
Nothing but bad bitches in here tonight
Oh, if you lame and you know it be quiet
Nothing but real niggas only, bad bitches only
Rich niggas only, independent bitches only
Boss niggas only, thick bitches only
I got my real niggas here by my side, only
Source: LyricFind
Well, I guess woodpeckers are their own punchline.
A parent checks in on its nest.
Today is day 331 of Project 365
Two nights ago I met up with my old friends in the band Punchline from Pittsburgh, Pa and did a shoot with them. I did a good amount of touring with them back when I was doing merch and playing for the Unsung Zeros so it was great to see them and catch up!
They played at a frat house on UCF campus and I had gotten there right before the sun was setting so we had a beautiful view of the sunset.
The only thing missing from the experience was a nice delicious Primanti Bros sandwich but I guess I will have to wait until the next time I am in P-burgh to get that.
Lighting:
1 AB 1600 in giant softbox boomed high
powered by Vagabond II
triggered by cyber syncs
View this bigger on my website!
Drunk early one morning with a 9am flight, Adam decides to just stay up all night.
[the unfilmed punchline of the story being that he blocked the shower drain, hence the flooding]
----------------
-----------------------------
Nothing changes
It only gets worse
Nothing changes
Waiting for a hearse
There is no hope
Escape is a hoax
The pressure's building
And I just can't cope
Now and forever
Nothing changes
It only gets worse
Nothing changes
Waiting for a hearse
There is no hope
Escape is a hoax
And we're the punchline
To a Spengler's joke
Death In June
i luv diz dude i think hez hot hez fine && sexii && i luv hez songz here they r
herez him rap battlein
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLzgC0NL11k
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Szou7F6mYQ0&feature=related
"Don't Fuck With Us"
[John Cena]
We keep it hoppin like the cars with the shocks
We spittin heat on your block
We new to the game, but runnin the spot
Numbin your knot, with basslines that'll make ya neck break
This rook'll take your queen and put ya king in checkmate
Open your mind without makin ya meditate
We real champs; y'all just featherweight
Time to get it straight, I push your wig back
Crew loaded up with extra bread like a Big Mac
Beefin with us? We're leavin you face down
Stompin bitch rappers like I'm straight outta A-Town
Runnin the playground like it was a track meet
Shoes on the whip that be bigger than Shaq's feet
We into big things, bank account's overgrown
All types of cheese - swiss, cheddar, provolone
Guaranteed to burn wax like candles
Track hittin hard to the head like shots of Jack Daniels
[Chorus 2X: John Cena]
Y'all, bitch, crews, don't wanna fuck with us
Y'all bound, to, lose, another one bites the dust
[Tha Trademarc]
It's Trademarc the truth, laid back, aloof
I'm God, as if you needed some proof
You ain't hard I can see it on you, I need a roof
Fuck a droptop, crop if I'm creepin on you
Click-clack nickelback knickknacks if you got heaters on you
Spittin back live rounders, with five pounders
If we meetin on two, I put a beatin on you
Your sound's tired buddy, that's why I'm sleepin on you
We lean back in the ride, with cream stackin the rawhide
The sound of God slide with a raw vibe
Straight military camel clothes ash brown boots
So sick, I've been handlin flows, since enamel was gold tooth
And branded by low
You cold fuck like eskimo hoes at 7 below
You slow, you be the last to think
My hands seen more fuckin dirt than bathroom sinks
[Chorus]
[John Cena]
I got punks, dumps and switches, dump chumpses bitches
We feed you to the sharks, you can sleep with the fishes
Clean you like dishes but I ain't no busboy
You ain't family, you ain't earnin my trust boy
Seen too many bitches that'll double cross ya
We bring more drama than the Laker roster
Get the click pissed, ain't nobody can save ya
Throw heat without lookin like Fernando Valenzuela
[Tha Trademarc]
Marc Predka's the name, the rest of you lame
I'm ego drivin, seen with different women, every size and frame
I refine my game by fuckin famous bitches
But it's all the same, it's just ex to the next
for sex or brain, misses or Mrs.
Married or not, my game don't stop
It's cars bars bonds and stocks you ain't see my flow
Y'all are small-time suckers like a knee-high hoe
[Chorus]
"Bad, Bad Man"
[John Cena]
Aww, you done did it now
Chaos you shoulda put this one in the vault man!
They not ready - they don't know what's comin man!
Oh we gonna drop this on 'em right here
Y'all ain't ready for this, Y'ALL AIN'T READY FOR NONE OF THIS!
Your boy's a bad man, and we invadin the streets
Make unclever rappers scurred, they be droppin the heat
Shocked the world, now I'm standin alone
I flip fools like them clamshell cellular phones
You can't help but nod your head to the track
Fuck the watered down rap, we be takin it back
Give it to me straight - ain't no chasin it
Check yourself in the mirror - ain't no facin it
Cause you, playin the role and you plannin to fold
This the masterplan, we got the planet on hold
We all over the streets like your favorite sneaker
Breakin up your sound like a drive-through speaker
Everything that I be spittin is strong
After I rock, fast forward through the rest of the song
We the monkeywrench, that's gonna ruin your plan
And don't fuck with John Cena - I'm a BAD, BAD MAN
[Chorus 2X: Bumpy Knuckles]
With the mic in my hands I'm a bad man
Even in a fight with the hands I'm a bad man
Livin in the streets all my life I'm a bad man
I'm a bad man, I'm a bad man
[Tha Trademarc]
We devils - rockin ambient levels
We set loose among hot tunes to instrumentals
And cats got one-liners, I drop several
And I think it's funny you choose, losin progress
or runnin in place; we makin moves, and y'all settle
I rip rappers and take responsibility
for makin future hall-of-famers look third rate
Y'all are lost for words like conversation on your worst first date
and ride beats, creep through side streets
Looseleaf notepads that's where rhymes leak
Punchlines - man, don't even beg
I got knee-slappin tracks, y'all brusin your leg
You a rhyme writer - funny man, that's a joke
You ain't worthy of bein my secretary man that's a quote
I flood tracks like cracks in boats
And pussy rappers choked up with they own lines in they throat
[Chorus]
[Bumpy Knuckles a.k.a. Freddie Foxxx]
TURN UP THE MICROPHONE and feed me I'm a beast
MC's and they beats is what I eat, 16 I'll leave you in the street
My rhymes are sicker than gangrene in both feet
It's spreadin up the leg, and headed for the head
Your rhymes are whack your style is proof that the brain corrosion
is fuckin with your chosen flows, I'm nice with mics
My hands'll break your nose like Mikey Tyson
Fightin in his prime, one rhyme
And I shake up the room one time, BOOM! To the jaw
Your face is a coat type raw
And the blood and snot they mix, jelly on the floor
My love is cop them bricks, belly on the floor
I rob you, you soft and you really ain't a problem
I solve you, 357 long nose revolve you
Acid in your face, bad look, dissolve you
I'm a bad, bad man
Yeah, check it out
It's Bumpy Knuckles baby
And I want you to say hello to the BAD, BAD, MAN - C'MON!
[Chorus]
"Basic Thugonomics"
"So... you think you're untouchable?"
[Chorus: John Cena - scratched by DJ Chaos]
Word life! This is basic thugonomics
This is ba-basic thugomoics
Word life! {*scratching*}
"I'm untouchable, but I'm forcin you to feel me" - Esoteric
Word life! This is bas-{*scratch*}
Basic thugo-{*scratch*}-thugo-{*scratch*}-thugonomics
Word life! {*scratching*}
"I'm untouchable, but I'm forcin you to feel me" - Esoteric
[Verse One: John Cena]
Whether fightin, or spittin, my discipline is unforgiven
Got you backin up, in a defensive position
An ass-kickin anthem, heavyweight or bantam
Holdin camps for ransom, the microphone phantom
Teams hit the floor, this the new fight joint
Like a broken needle kid, you missin the point!
We dominate your conference with offense that's no nonsense
My theme song hits, get your reinforcements!
We strike quick with hard kicks, duckin ice picks
Bare-knuckle men through fight pits, beat you lifeless
Never survive this! Get forget like Alzheimer's
Two-face rappers, walk away with four shiners
The raw rhymer, turnin legends to old-timers
My incisor's like a viper, bitin through your one-liners!
New Deadman Inc. - and we about to make you famous
Takin over Earth and still kickin in Uranus!
[Chorus]
[Verse Two: Esoteric]
You ain't advanced enough to process potential phonetical concepts
The objects are foreign, like blot tests
Sponsored sex, a complex, regardless of your finesse
or your fitness, it's the condition of business
Your lame vision of a underground, physical image
You're underneath to undermine your whole, typical image
With the precision of percentages, and the collision of sedatives
Poetry, beats, and mics - we untouchable
like righteous sluts with no crevices
Streets unite, we rock right over dumber beats
Yo' cats couldn't come this hot if they {jerked} off in the summer heat
Forget two takes, kill y'all birds the first time
Yo' best {shit} ain't, worthy of my filler or worst rhymes
I'm better than nice, check the veteran stripes
Leave you beside yourself with fear, I kill you, and bury you twice
Despite the cover of night, trackin' your flight
Like guerilla warfare, where the grass is dense
Approachin me is a quick way to get referred to in the past tense
Dead that! When the light to mic is on
The crowd is dead like the intermission when you on the Titantron
[Chorus]
"Make It Loud"
[John Cena at a live show]
It's the joint baby, GOTTA MAKE IT LOUD [crowd cheers]
SO LET ME HEAR SOME NOISE FROM THE CROWD [more cheering]
[Tazz] That's noise!
[Chorus 2X: John Cena]
It's the joint baby, gotta make it loud
Get the point yo you gotat make it loud
Everybody in the club make it loud
SO LET ME HEAR SOME NOISE FROM THE CROWD
[John Cena]
Yeah, yeah
We came to kick the door down, it's time to hit the floor now
Yo... we got some shit in store now
So; clap your hands while we let the sax blow
Not quite Krispy Kreme, but we came to stack dough
We ain't maxed yo, we just try and get this money right
Bills made of Spandex, I still keep my money tight
Never stoppin, all I see is the money like
the kid on the mic is too +Raw+ for your Monday night
If you got in free, or your fuckin cover's paid
Bounce to this motherfucker like you was some Rubbermaid
This ain't that Cristal sippin type shit
It's that bottle breakin, startin riot type shit
So jump up and down 'til ya break the floor
Yo we keep it underground like a basement tour
East coast reppin, stretchin out to L.A.
Not double oh seven but we +Die Another Day+, what
[Chorus]
[Tha Trademarc]
I tear up any track, front to back
Like Roy Jones takin on fifty year-old cats
makin comebacks, where you at, cats spit soft shit
like whispers and gloves, I'm not hearin that
It's all love maybe if you wanna rub baby
Anything but that, step back lady
Trademarc, John Cena, clubbin it up
We got Chaos on the one and two, cuttin it up
I'm all about laid back, don't jock, I hate that
I see through haters games, don't mistake that
I still got love if you buyin our shit
If you claim you hatin us, but you ridin our dicks
Everybody hear the name, Marc Predka
It's gonna ring like an echo for years, I never left ya
All y'all raise your glass to this shit
Cause Trademarc's the head of the class of misfits
[Chorus]
[John Cena]
We steal your top spot, and you not gettin your number back
Chop down competition like I was a lumberjack
Clear out the club floor, we keep 'em comin back
Tough to bring down like an overweight runningback
Yeah - and we blaze 'em baby
Trademarc, John Cena, we amazin baby
Yo we tear up any crew, leave a motherfucker worn
Y'all are just soft like some Cinemax porn
[Tha Trademarc]
I move a crowd like a bomb scare
Grab the mic when we hittin it right, if you want fear
Some say Trademarc, he ain't all there
We old school like when Sonny, was on Cher
Take it back like a Richard Pyror 8-track
And grab a chunk of your change like a state tax
Man please, we want platinum plaques
I want cream, green, cheddar cheese, to grab in stacks
[Chorus]
[scratching Trademarc to fade]
"Chaos on the one and two, cuttin it up"
"That's that shit!"
[crowd chanting] "Ce-na, Ce-na, Ce-na" [at the end]
"my time is now"
[Chorus: John Cena]
Your time is up, my time is now
You can't see me, my time is now
It's the franchise, boy I'm shinin now
You can't see me, my time is now!
[John Cena]
In case you forgot or fell off I'm still hot - knock your shell off
My money stack fat plus I can't turn the swell off
The franchise, doin big bid'ness, I live this
It's automatic I win this - oh you hear those horns, you finished
A soldier, and I stay under you fightin
Plus I'm stormin on you chumps like I'm thunder and lightning
Ain't no way you breakin me kid, I'm harder than nails
Plus I keep it on lock, like I'm part of the jail
I'm slaughterin stale, competition, I got the whole block wishin
they could run with my division but they gone fishin -
- with no bait, kid your boy hold weight
I got my soul straight, I brush your mouth like Colgate
In any weather I'm never better your boy's so hot
you'll never catch me in the next man's sweater
If they hate, let 'em hate, I drop ya whole clan
Lay yo' ass DOWN for the three second TAN
[Chorus]
[Tha Trademarc]
Yeah, uhh
It's gon' be what it's gon' be
Five pounds of courage buddy, bass tint pants with a gold T
Uhh - it's a war dance and victory step
A raw stance is a gift, when you insist it's my rep
John Cena, Trademarc, y'all are so-so
And talk about the bread you make but don't know the recipe for dough though
Aimin guns in all your photos, that's a no-no
When this pop, you'll liplock, your big talk's a blatant no-show
See what happens when the ice age melt
You see monetary status is not what matters, but it helps
I rock a timepiece by Benny if any
The same reason y'all could love me is the same reason y'all condemn me
A man's measured by the way that he thinks
Not clothing lines, ice links, leather and minks
I spent 20 plus years seekin knowledge of self
So for now Marc Predka's livin live for wealth
[Chorus - repeat 2X]
(theirz more but these i luv da mozt)
(here da videoz)
(make it loud) www.youtube.com/watch?v=V02Sz51ySV0
(basic thugonomics) www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8Guq9KRQgA
(dont fuck with us) www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAs4-nEH0rE
(bad bad man) www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lKuoF3qz-w&feature=related
(my time is now) www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JAa3NvP6f4
(&& hez a wwe wrestler 2 =])
Bruce Wayne was repairing his Tumbler in the down of the Bat Cave ,after hours of work Bruce was interrupted by Alfred who looked really disturbed.
"What is it Alfred?"
"Master Bruce ,Barbara Gordon has arrived to the Wayne Manor with something important to tell you."
"Sure ,tell her I will meet her in a hall in a minute."
"Sir ,she arrived in a costume of Batgirl .It is a criminal business."
"No worries Alfred ,I am already here."
"Barbara,what brought you here?"
"Hi Bruce.I have some really bad news for you .Your arch nemesis has taken over Arkham Asylum and is planning something vicious.He poisoned everyone who were out of the cells,,guards,doctors,nurses.They are left with grin on their face and are all dead except the ones that were on the West Wing,I got some conversation with them through computer and they send me some new files that they found on main computer .I have hacked some footage with Joker .I have not quite seen what is on the tape but I think it may help you learn about his plans.Any ideas what he may be after? "
"I knew this was coming .Joker is an insanity that even worlds greatest Prison can't contain.Not long period of time ago I found some interesting file in Dr.Elliots house.One of his patients named Jack Napier was a gangster dealer and vanished into thin air 9 years ago .I also found out that he was a military soldier but after a small incident he was thrown away from army ,he after tried himself as a comedian but failed in the eyes of viewers.By the same time when he was gone ,I met a criminal by the name Red Hood who was stealing some documents from Ace Chemicals ,yet fell into a tank of chemicals and was not found.After 1 week a clown prince of crime Joker makes his first appearance in public ."
"Oh my God!!!!You mean Jack Napier ,Red Hood and the Joker are all the same person ?"
"I don't know but I think that this just might be true.In Eliots diary it was said that Jack Napier had a plastic surgery on his face.Maybe that was the point why he looks like a clown."
"But why would he want to make himself a clown?"
"Maybe the result of the surgery was changed because of some of his enemies,who wanted him to fail and be caught by police?"
"Master Bruce I think you can leave this past conversation to the future and worry about the present?Joker is probably getting closer to the punchline and your duty is to stop him as fast as possible."
"Quite right Alfred,I must stop him ,I am going to Arkham ,now!!"
"But the footage?"
"You can watch it on the Bat Computer and after tell me what is it all about ."
"But wait !!!What if it's a trap?"
"Without any doubt...."
Characters, From L to R:
Bottom row:
Scarecrow (Adam Driver), Commissioner Gordon (Harrison Ford), Batman (Josh Brolin), Robin (Evan Peters), Penguin (John Goodman)
Middle Row:
Bane (Javier Bardem), Joker (Willem Dafoe), Catwoman (Milla Jovovich)
Top Row:
Mr. Freeze (Patrick Stewart), Riddler (Sterling K. Brown), Two-Face (John Hamm)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Plots:
First Movie: Bruce Wayne was a child who lived happily with a wealthy family, but one day Bruce's parents were killed in an alley. He was raised by a butler, Alfred Pennyworth (played by Sean Connery), and eventually, Bruce became The Batman. In his very first crime to fight, he faced a group of thugs in Ace Chemical Plant, featuring a man named Jack, a comedian with a troubled past... In the fight with the gang, Jack fell into a vat of chemicals, the punchline of his joke life. Months later, Police Commissioner "Jim Gordon" brought a case to Batman, about a man in clown makeup, murdering the innocent... Batman investigates the crime, which comes to a shocking conclusion, involving the fatality of this clown...
Second Movie: Batman continues to save Gotham from it's troubles, whilst we learn about the backstory of Edwardo Nygma (look at my last post). Meanwhile, we learn about a young man named Dick Grayson, who works at a local restaurant, "The Ice Burg Lounge", run by an "Oswald Cobblepot". While we learn all of this, a new criminal is afoot...! Going by the name "The Riddler". Batman must find the identity of this "Riddler", and take him down! But, the answers harder to find then you'd think... But luckily, The Dark Knight can solve it! Batman finds the true culprit, and faces them in a final duel, before The Riddler is put in prison...
Third Movie: "Victor Fries" is a scientist, who's been secretly working on a cure to heal his diseased wife. Unfortunately, the boss of the organization Victor works at finds out, and punishes him. In the punishment, he froze Victors wife to death, and exposed Victor to radiant chemicals by accident! The boss fled the scene, but Victor was left alive, with bleached white skin. He created a containment suit to keep himself alive, and a freeze ray to do to his boss what they did to Victor's wife. Meanwhile, Batman stops a group of thugs, with Dick Grayson as a witness. Later, Dick finds Batman and asks to join them, to fight alongside Batman. He explains how his parents died back when he lived in a circus, and wants to do what he can to make the world a better place. Batman agrees to this, and makes a suit for Dick, who now goes by the name of "Robin". Batman and Robin are told by Gordon to go after an armored murderer, who turns out to be Fries, and the duo take him down!
Fourth Movie: Harvey Dent is a mentally troubled man, who three times a week goes to a therapy session with "Dr. Johnathan Crane". Harvey has had multiple personality disorder for the majority of his life, but one day... Harvey snapped. Harvey was in a therapy session when he suddenly attacked Crane, and Crane tried to defend himself! He splashed a cup of chemicals used for chemotherapy on his face, melting the flesh, and bleaching his hair! But... Only have of his face. He wanted vengeance, and only went more into madness due to him quitting therapy. He committed crimes, killed people, injured people, etc. But to keep himself contained, he did everything he did based off of the flip of a coin. Soon, Batman and Robin find out about these crimes. They eventually find Harvey and put him in prison, but soon in an interrogation found out how he was scarred... The duo looked for Crane, and found him in his therapy room. Crane pulled a crank on a vial, filling the room with his "fear toxin". They have a final battle, and it ends with Crane going to prison for crimes he kept hidden for several weeks...
Fifth and Final Movie: Batman and Robin go after a group of thugs, but Robin gets injured... He comes to the realization that crime fighting is too dangerous, and retires from being Robin. Batman then sits alone in his manor... He realizes somethings... off. Later, he finds out Alfred was missing! But, he had no leads, no evidence other than Alfred not being there, etc. Batman goes out to fight another group of thugs, but this time they get away. Batman sits in his manor again, wondering why everything's going downhill. Meanwhile, there's a subplot about the life of a child, growing up in prison. He gets stronger and stronger as he gets older, and he soon finds out about Batman in prison. He is interested, and makes it his life goal to break out of prison and defeat this "Batman". This guy eventually breaks out, with the help of someone going by the name of "Catwoman". She also deals some drugs to them, as well as some armor. The drugs were something called "Venom", a liquid that could make you stronger. The man puts on the suit, and takes the drugs. He now goes by the name "Bane". Bane finds Batman in his manor, and fights him. Batman is very weak, as he is going through a sever feeling of depression, especially more so due to the face that Bane reveals he murdered Alfred..! Bane then breaks Batman's back!!! After Batman's defeated, Bane flees the scene. Eventually, Batman gets a message. It tells him to go to an area of Gotham (the city they live in) that they never heard of... They went there... They found Bane in the area! However, another man came in... It's... The Joker!!! The clown man from the first film! He injects himself with venom, and becomes stronger than ever! They are about to fight, but not before someone else came in... Someone calling themselves "Nightwing". Batman knew who it was... It was Dick! They fought the Joker, and once he was defeated, Nightwing grappled away. The Joker gets back up, back to normal size... He states that he faked his death and came back because he felt incomplete with a life without Batman... Batman completed him. However, The Joker then said that Batman was going to be gone someday, and Joker didn't want to live in a world without him, and killed himself. The franchise ends with Batman standing on a rooftop, alone...
~Scarecrow