Tomass Sologubs Exposed As A Sissy Faggot, Online He Goes By The Name FemboyAbbie

Andrew's 24" single speed

I love women very much, but even if I love to wear women's underwear and girdles, I don't want to simulate femininity and I don't have transsexual ambitions. (I don't own men's underwear since a long time.) I'm just a fat, effeminate loser, so I expose myself wearing bra, garter belt and women's stockings to my public humiliation. I do this, as seen in some pictures, also in the street and in parks.

Read more about me and my life on my website with lots of pictures, videos and texts (en/en). You can find the link on the info/start page on the right side under the showcase pictures.

I love women very much, but even if I love to wear women's underwear and girdles, I don't want to simulate femininity and I don't have transsexual ambitions. (I don't own men's underwear since a long time.) I'm just a fat, effeminate loser, so I expose myself wearing bra, garter belt and women's stockings to my public humiliation. I do this, as seen in some pictures, also in the street and in parks.

Read more about me and my life on my website with lots of pictures, videos and texts (en/en). You can find the link on the info/start page on the right side under the showcase pictures.

I had to wear my idiot shorts in front of a field of footballers, tip coke over my head and pie myself.

Oh the shame and humiliation!

 

I was told that my punishment for the lie detector stunt was to not be able to help Papa with projects out in the workshop. I didn't like it but I knew he'd need me soon enough.

 

WELL... Mother decided I should pose for this stupid 'cutesy teddy bear photo'. She got the idea from this ornament of the cute little teddy bear in the wagon. Ugh! She even made me wear a ribbon around my neck and NOTHING ELSE!

 

Okay, I'm reformed now. I will NEVER do anything like that AGAIN. EVER!!!!

I love women very much, but even if I love to wear women's underwear and girdles, I don't want to simulate femininity and I don't have transsexual ambitions. (I don't own men's underwear since a long time.) I'm just a fat, effeminate loser, so I expose myself wearing bra, garter belt and women's stockings to my public humiliation. I do this, as seen in some pictures, also in the street and in parks.

Read more about me and my life on my website with lots of pictures, videos and texts (en/en). You can find the link on the info/start page on the right side under the showcase pictures.

Sati was a social funeral practice among some Indian communities in which a recently widowed woman would immolate herself on her husband’s funeral pyre. The practice was banned several times, with the current ban dating to 1829 by the British.

 

The term is derived from the original name of the goddess Sati, also known as Dakshayani, who self-immolated because she was unable to bear her father Daksha's humiliation of her husband Shiva. The term may also be used to refer to the widow. The term sati is now sometimes interpreted as "chaste woman". Sati appears in both Hindi and Sanskrit texts, where it is synonymous with "good wife"; the term suttee was commonly used by Anglo-Indian English writers.

 

ORIGN

Few reliable records exist of the practice before the time of the Gupta empire, approximately 400 CE. After about this time, instances of sati began to be marked by inscribed memorial stones. The earliest of these are found in Sagar, Madhya Pradesh, though the largest collections date from several centuries later, and are found in Rajasthan. These stones, called devli, or sati-stones, became shrines to the dead woman, who was treated as an object of reverence and worship. They are most common in western India. A description of suttee appears in a Greek account of the Punjab written in the first century BCE by historian Diodorus Siculus. Brahmins were forbidden from the practice by the Padma Purana. A chapter dated to around the 10th century indicates that, while considered a noble act when committed by a Kshatriya woman, anyone caught assisting an upper-caste Brahmin in self-immolation as a "sati" was guilty of Brahminicide.

 

The ritual has prehistoric roots, and many parallels from other cultures are known. Compare for example the ship burial of the Rus' described by Ibn Fadlan, where a female slave is burned with her master.

 

Aristobulus of Cassandreia, a Greek historian who traveled to India with the expedition of Alexander the Great, recorded the practice of sati at the city of Taxila. A later instance of voluntary co-cremation appears in an account of an Indian soldier in the army of Eumenes of Cardia, whose two wives jumped on his funeral pyre, in 316 BC. The Greeks believed that the practice had been instituted to discourage wives from poisoning their old husbands.

 

Voluntary death at funerals has been described in northern India before the Gupta empire. The original practices were called anumarana, and were uncommon. Anumarana was not comparable to later understandings of sati, since the practices were not restricted to widows – rather, anyone, male or female, with personal loyalty to the deceased could commit suicide at a loved one's funeral. These included the deceased's relatives, servants, followers, or friends. Sometimes these deaths stemmed from vows of loyalty, and bear a slight resemblance to the later tradition of junshi in Japan.

 

It is theorized that sati, enforced widowhood, and girl marriage were customs that were primarily intended to solve the problem of surplus women and surplus men in a caste and to maintain its endogamy.

 

Apart from the Indian subcontinent, origins of this practice have been found in many parts of the world; it was followed by the ancient Egyptians, Thracians, Scythians, Scandinavians, Chinese, as well as people of Oceania and Africa.

 

Sati remained legal in some princely states for a time after it had been abolished in lands under British control. Jaipur banned the practice in 1846. Nepal continued to practice Sati well into the 20th century.

 

On the Indonesian island of Bali, sati (known as masatya) was practised by the aristocracy as late as 1905, until Dutch colonial rule pushed for its termination.

 

Following outcries after each instance, the government has passed new measures against the practice, which now effectively make it illegal to be a bystander at an event of sati. The law now makes no distinction between passive observers to the act and active promoters of the event; all are supposed to be held equally guilty. Other measures include efforts to stop the 'glorification' of the dead women. Glorification includes the erection of shrines to the dead, the encouragement of pilgrimages to the site of the pyre, and the derivation of any income from such sites and pilgrims.

 

Another instance of systematic Sati happened in 1973, when Savitri Soni sacrificed her life with her husband in Kotadi village of Sikar District in Rajasthan. Thousands of people witnessed this incident.

 

Although many have tried to prevent the act of sati by banning it and reinforcing laws against it, it is still being practiced (on rare occasions) in India under coercion or by voluntary burning, as in the case of Charan Shah: a 55 year-old widow of Manshah who burnt herself on the pyre of her husband in the village of Satpura in Uttar Pradesh on 11 November 1999. Her death on the funeral pyre has provoked much controversy, as there have been questions as to whether she willingly performed the Sati or was coerced. Charan Shah had not professed strong feelings to become a Sati to any of her family members, and no one saw her close to the burning body of her husband before she jumped into the fire. The villagers, including her sons, say that she became a Sati of her own accord and that she was not forced into it. They continue to pay their respects to the house of Charan Shah. It has become a shrine for the villagers, as they strongly believe that one who has become a sati is a deity; she is worshipped and endowed with gifts.

 

NUMBERS

There are no reliable figures for the numbers who died by sati across the country. A local indication of the numbers is given in the records kept by the Bengal Presidency of the British East India Company. The total figure of known occurrences for the period 1813 to 1828 is 8,135; another source gives a comparable number of 7,941 from 1815 to 1828, thus giving an average of about 507 to 567 documented incidents per year in that period. Raja Ram Mohan Roy estimated that there were ten times as many cases of Sati in Bengal compared to the rest of the country. Bentinck, in his 1829 report, states that 420 occurrences took place in one (unspecified) year in the 'Lower Provinces' of Bengal, Bihar and Orissa, and 44 in the 'Upper Provinces' (the upper Gangetic plain).

 

(WIKIPEDIA)

Tan Zuoren, a Chengdu environmental activist, went on trial for inciting the overthrow of state power in Chengdu on May 12. He is a well-known activist who participated in protests against a big petrochemical plant planned for Pengzhou City, north of Chengdu and for gathering information on the number of students killed and school buildings destroyed in the May 12 earthquake. A translation his indictment is at www.flickr.com/photos/74568056@N00/3780152188/in/set-7215...

Below is a translation of the defense plea his lawyers presented in court. Many Chinese websites are taking this done as soon at it is posted but some bloggers took a photograph of this document and posted the picture. That makes it harder for the censors to find.

 

Defense Plea in the Tan Zuoren Case

 

Xiao Xuehui blog

 

August 17, 2009

 

[At the request of Ms. Wang Qinghua, [note: the wife of Tan Zuoren] the first instance plea of lawyers Xia Lin and Pu Zhiqiang has been released. The two lawyers faced many obstacles and put up with humiliation in order to carry out their important work with rare perseverance to complete their plea, stopping and starting because they were interrupted many times. The first instance plea should have been published as an exact copy of the original document. This is not possible, however, because of web filtering and so in order to defeat the control of the web, we made technical changes in some of the keywords. This is a very precious legal document. Everyone concerned with the case of Tan Zuoren should read it.

 

--- Xiao Xuehui made this explanation and requests that this document be reposted on other websites.]

 

The Case of Tan Zuoren Accused of Incitement to Overthrow State Power

 

Defense Plea

 

To the Panel of Judges of the Tan Zuoren case:

 

The Beijing Huayi Law Office, which was commissioned according to law by the defendant Tan Zuoren, designated the lawyers Xia Lin and Pu Zhiqiang to make the first instance plea. After receiving this commission, we reviewed the case files, interviewed the defendant, and conducted many interviews and conducted many investigations. We believe that after being reviewed by the court, the accusations brought by the prosecution against Tan Zuoren cannot be proven. Based on the indictment and evidentiary materials exchanged with the prosecution before the trial, we make the following defense:

 

I. With regard to the nature of the article "1989: The Last Beauty I Witnessed -- the Tiananmen Diary of an Eyewitness" written by the defendant Tan Zuoren:

 

The prosecution states that "The accused Tan Zuoren is dissatisfied with the way the Central Committee of the Chinese Communist Party handled the"June X Incident" and the conclusions it drew about that incident. For many years, he has been carrying out in many ways "June X" commemorative activities. On May 27, 2007, Tan Zuoren concocted an article entitled "1989: The Last Beauty I Witnessed -- the Tiananmen Diary of an Eyewitness" and distributed it through the internet to the website outside of mainland China's borders "The Torch of Liberty" as well as to other websites. The main points of this article provide a distorted account of the "June X Incident" and to libel the Chinese Communist Party Central Committee's handling of it.

 

The definition of "libel" in the dictionary is "making something out of nothing, saying bad things about a person, damaging a person's reputation, slandering someone" (See Modern Chinese Language Dictionary, Second Edition, P. 315, published January 1983.) The prosecution's charge that the defendant Tan Zuoren "made a distorted account and committed libel" is a matter to evaluate according to the facts and as to whether the contents of Tan Zuoren's article are true.

 

The court investigation has already determined that "1989; The Last Beauty I Witnessed -- the Tiananmen Diary of an Eyewitness" was written on May 27, 2007 and is his personal response to statements about the "June X Incident" by Ma Li, Chairman of the Hong Kong Popular Alliance. The purpose of the article was to make the facts clear (see interrogation record).

 

However, after Ma Li made that statement, the Vice Chairman of the Hong Kong Popular Alliance, Liu Jianghua said that Ma Li's statement did not represent the views of the Popular Alliance and wanted to apologize on his behalf. Tan Zuoren wrote this article based upon his memories as an eyewitness of the period leading up to and following the "June X Incident". The prosecution in its accusation states that Tan Zuoren "made a distorted and libelous account" but has not presented evidence to support that accusation. Nor has it in court "made an accurate account", so how can Tan Zuoren be accused to writing falsehoods?

 

According to the indictment, Tan Zuoren has "for many years in many ways conducted activities commemorating "June X" but has presented no evidence to support this charge. Moreover, according to Tan Zuoren's own account during interrogation in court, before the 2007 statement of Ma Li, he had not conducted any commemoration of "June X". So what is the basis of "for many years" and what is the basis of "in many ways"?

 

The defense believes that this prosecution charge against the defendant Tan Zuoren is vague, untrue and not supported by the evidence.

 

The charge cannot be proved according to law and so should clearly be rejected.

 

II. With regard to the prosecution's accusation that Tan Zuoren communicated with the "enemy element outside China's borders" Wang Dan and suggested that voluntary blood donation drives be conducted.

 

According to the prosecution¡¯s accusation, "Shortly after the article was published, the enemy element outside China's borders Wang Dan contacted him by e-mail and on several occasions sent him propaganda materials about the "June X" incident.

 

On June X, 2008, the accused Tan Zuoren together with others in Chengdu's Tianfu Square conducted a voluntary blood donation drive to commemorate "June X" by donating blood. Shortly thereafter, he was interviewed by the telephone by the media outside mainland China's borders "Voice of Hope". Since November 2008, Wang Dan on several occasions sent him materials on activities to commemorate the so-called twentieth anniversary of the "June X" incident. On February 10, 2009, the accused Tan Zuoren sent Wang Dan an email "Suggestions on the Twentieth Anniversary of June X" suggesting that during this year's "June X" period conducting so-called "June X Worldwide Chinese Voluntary Blood Drives" in order to commemorate the twentieth anniversary of "June X".

 

With respect to this charge, the defense believes:

 

1. Criminal methods of incitement to overthrow state power involves the open encouragement of a group of two or more people. The facts presented in this accusation involve a private email between Wang Dan and Tan Zuoren. This is not in accord with the open nature of this crime and that the incitement be directed at a group of two or more people.

 

2. The designation of Wang Dan as an "enemy element outside of China's borders" has not been officially announced by the state and the defendant is not aware of this. Moreover, a search of PRC criminal law did not turn up a crime of "communicating with enemy elements outside of China's borders". The prosecution has already determined that Wang Dan is "an enemy element outside of China's borders" and according to the accusation statement, Wang Dan took the initiative to send to a mailing list materials on "June X". Considering the political attitudes and behavior of the two people involved in the communication, it could be claimed that Wang Dan was inciting Tan Zuoren but surely it would be nonsense to suppose that the accused Tan Zuoren sought to incite Wang Dan. This is clearly absurd nonsense. This accusation by the prosecution is obviously mistaken.

 

III. With respect to the prosecution charge that Tan Zuoren made statements about the May 12th Earthquake

 

The court investigation states that after the May 12 earthquake, the accused Tan Zuoren was interviewed several times by media from both inside and outside China's borders and on many occasions acted as a guide to assistant them in their interviews and investigations. These media included Xinhua, Liaowang Oriental Weekly, First Financial Daily, Humanity and the Biosphere, etc. as well as Hong Kong broadcasters under the Hong Kong government. No matter whether he was interviewed by media from inside or outside China's borders, he said the same thing.

 

However, the prosecution accusation stresses only that "Tan Zuoren on several occasions was interviewed by media from outside China's borders, and make statements that severely damaged the image of our Party and government" clearly takes things out of context to make these activities look suspicious.

 

The defense response to these accusations:

 

1. The prosecution's accusations are abstract and empty. The prosecution presented 22 articles that total several tens of thousands of words as evidence. Looking over these articles, one finds some discussion of the work of the Party and government in earthquake relief. Tan Zuoren praises them where praise is due but not excessively. He does not pass over their shortcomings in silence but discusses them. Just which chapters and which words have anything to do with subversion? I really don't know.

 

These 22 articles were collected by the prosecution from the private computer of Tan Zuoren were edited by Tan Zuoren himself on his computer in the "My Documents" folder. None of them are transcripts of media interviews. This being such an "important case" so how could it have been handled so sloppily? How can these documents be taken as manuscripts that are used as evidence in a criminal case?

 

2. The court investigation determined that Tan Zuoren is the deputy secretary-general of the Green Rivers environmental NGO and has long been concerned about the construction of hydroelectric power plants in southwest China. His statement about the earthquake involved an analysis of the causes of the earthquake how it could have been prevented was from the perspective of an expert. This analysis is based upon a considerable amount of scientific evidence. The defense has already provided these materials to the court. Moreover, two experts on the subject, Fan Xiao, an engineer from the Sichuan Province Mining Bureau Geological Survey Team and Prof. Ai Nanshan of the Sichuan University Construction and Environmental College are willing to testify as defense witnesses in court. They are now waiting outside the court because unfortunately the court arbitrarily refused to hear them. We regret this decision.

 

3. According to the court record of interrogation, Tan Zuoren after the May 12 earthquake made 23 trips to determine the number of students who were killed in the earthquake as well as the number of school and dormitory buildings that had collapsed. He spent over 50 days on these survey trips and collected much first-hand material. He made an objective description of the situation based on these trips.

 

His surveys showed that for many of the schools in the earthquake zone, poorly construction quality led to their collapse. The problem of "bean curd construction" that Tan Zuoren describes certainly exists. Tan Zuoren urges now that the cause of the collapse of the schools and dormitories be thoroughly investigated, that the people responsible face criminal prosecution, and that a natural disaster should not be an excuse to hide a man-made calamity. What is wrong with saying this? And how can anyone be accused of committing a crime by saying this?

 

Provoked by the deaths of so many students, Tan Zuoren may have said some words in anger and criticized the Ministry of Education. But the defense wants to remind the prosecution: to criticize is not to incite to overthrow the state. The Ministry of Education has never represented state power. Therefore nothing could be as ridiculous as this accusation against Tan Zuoren for incitement to overthrow state power.

 

IV. The prosecution's accusation on the legal nature of Tan Zuoren's behavior.

 

The prosecution believes that "the indicted Tan Zuoren, in order to achieve his goal of subverting state power and overthrowing the socialist system fabricated things out of whole cloth, distorted news, and spread speech that is injurious to state power and the socialist system in order to hurt the image of state power and the socialist system in the eyes of the people. This constitutes a crime under article 105 of the Criminal Code of the People's Republic of China. The crime is clear, the evidence is certain and abundant. Tan Zuoren should be prosecuted and convicted of the crime of inciting subversion of state power."

 

The defense again reminds the panel of judges that the accused Tan Zuoren, who has made an accurate description of many matters, is accused of "fabricating things out of whole cloth and distorting news". However, the prosecution has not yet presented any evidence to contradict what Tan Zuoren has written nor any evidence supporting the accusation. If the prosecution is unable to present relevant evidence, then some of the matters it has presented as fact are not credible.

 

The defense presents three opinions on the legal validity of the accusations brought by the prosecution:

 

1. Tan Zuoren's speech related to this case is a matter of a citizen exercising his right to make suggestions and criticisms. That speech does not constitute incitement to overthrow the state and does not fit the criteria for that crime.

 

This crime is found in the first chapter of the criminal code, "Crimes Against State Security". Examining that section of the law, it is clear that the definition of this crime is limited to threatening state security.

 

How can speech threaten state security? We can find an explanation in "The Johannesburg Principles on National Security, Freedom of Expression and Access to Information" which are widely accepted by international society. Principle Five holds that ¡°Subject to Principles 15 and 16, expression may be punished as a threat to national security only if a government can demonstrate that: (a) the expression is intended to incite imminent violence; (b) it is likely to incite such violence; and (c) there is a direct and immediate connection between the expression and the likelihood or occurrence of such violence.¡±

 

In China's legal system no legal or administrative explanation accompanies the legislation on this crime. Therefore, widely accepted international principles can provide an important reference point for the judging this case. The speech of Tan Zuoren relating to this case had no language inciting to overthrow of the state or to violence. On the contrary, Tan Zuoren's political views favor gradual and peaceful social progress. The objective effect of his views does not harm but actually supports state security and so of course do not fall with the legal definition of this crime.

 

Article 41 of the PRC Constitution stipulates: "Citizens of the People's Republic of China have the right to criticize and make suggestions to any state organ or functionary." The defense believes that Tan Zuoren's speech involved in this case was the normal exercise by a citizen of their right to criticize and make suggestions, and should therefore be protected by the PRC Constitution. How can it be construed as "incitement to overthrow the state"?

 

2. Tan Zuoren did not have any subjective intention to incite to overthrown the State.

 

This crime in its subjective aspect relates to intention, the person committing the act must have the motive of inciting two or more persons to act to overthrow state power and to overthrow the socialist system.

 

The defense believes that in order to determine the subjective motive of a personal act, one needs to do a historical study of it objective manifestations over a long period. The court investigation shows that the indicted freely confesses without reservation that he is passionate about the well-being of society and that he has for a long time been making outstanding contributions to political science and administration.

 

The principal facts are these:

 

* During 1996 - 1997, he served as the chief planner of the Chengdu City government's Fenghuang Mountain development project and later led the planning work for the Sichuan International Rehabilitation Center and the Chengdu Rest Home and Assistance Center for the Elderly, the Chengdu City Temporary Residence project, and was asked by the Pi County government to design the Jinguancheng Recreation Area, the Shudu Rear Garden and other projects.

* In 1998, he was asked by the Sichuan Province Academy of Social Sciences to plan the "Great Turn of the Century Human Talent Project".

* In 1999 he participated in the Yangtze River Environmental Memorial Construction Project.

* In 2000 he planned the Sichuan Exhibition Center transformation project;

* In 2001 he was chosen by the Chengdu Daily as an outstanding citizen of Chengdu;

* In 2002 he planned and implemented the "Century of Great Changes - Chengdu's Big Transformation" a major photo exhibition; at the Sichuan Provincial People's Congress consultative conference his proposal to enact a law to protect the Great Panda was adopted. He also participated in the planning for the construction of the "Deng Xiaoping Old Home Tourism District";

* In 2004 he was invited by the Chengdu Jinniu District to devise a plan for the Jinsha Ruins Park. His proposal for the "Tianfu Gourmet Park" was adopted and became a key project for Chengdu. On behalf of the Sichuan Cultural Bureau he designed and organized a "Culture and the Creative Industries Forum"; revised and made new suggestions for the "Chengdu City Cultural Tourism Industry Plan", participated in several important meetings organized by the Chengdu City Propaganda Department, participated in the survey and review of the "South to North Water Diversion Project".

* In 2006, he was asked to design the "Chengdu City Eastern Suburbs Creative Industries Park" concept;

* In 2007 he led the "Chengdu Citizen Ethnic Culture Tourism Development Plan". His Botiao River Research Project and the research on the "Small Scale Western Waters Diversion" won the approval of Premier Wen Jiabao.

* In 2008, he designed the Cultural Tourism Street project for the Xichang City government. He wrote and distributed an academic report on the issues of the Pengzhou City petrochemical plant project entitled "A Citizen's Suggestion on the Pengzhou City Petrochemical Project" and sent it to the departments concerned.

* In 2009 he participated in the "May 12 Student Deaths Survey".

 

The facts above demonstrate that Tan Zuoren has contributed for the past twenty years to the construction of Chengdu and of Sichuan Province, to scientific planning and to economic planning, all of which have greatly improved the image of the government. In his capacity as Chinese citizen or as an outstanding expert, Tan Zuoren has also of course criticized some improper administrative actions of the government. How could these well-intentioned and honest criticisms can be maliciously understood as incitement to overthrow state power?

 

3. The behavior and speech of Tan Zuoren do not constitute this crime.

 

As everyone knows, the character of the PRC government is a "people's democratic dictatorship", that is to say the great majority of the people through democratic means hold state power. Overthrowing state power, then, having the intention to use anti-democratic methods to destroy the system of people's democracy. By looking through all of Tan Zuoren's writings, one can see that he is a person who passionately loves the people, supports democracy, and is opposed to autocracy. Mr. Tan Zuoren is a pioneer of people's democracy and its guardian, not one who would overturn it and destroy it. To convict him of incitement to overturn state power contradicts the basic character of PRC state political regime.

 

V. Summation

 

The matters described above are sufficient to prove that none of the accusations of the prosecution about the speech and actions of Tan Zuoren constitute the crime described in Article 151 in the PRC Criminal Code of "incitement to overthrow state power". The accusation that Mr. Tan Zuoren committed this crime fails for lack of evidence.

 

Sichuan since ancient times has been a place where cultured people gather. Many heroes have arisen throughout the history of Chengdu. We are confident that Sichuan has sufficient political wisdom to handle the Tan Zuoren case. Let us quote here a couplet from the Wuhou Temple of Chengdu for the people involved in this case:

 

"Those able to win people's hearts are able to eliminate their doubts and their worries; from ancient times people knowledgeable in military affairs have avoided fighting whenever possible; those who are not able to judge situations will make mistakes no matter whether they are strict or lenient. Those who govern Sichuan in the future should deeply reflect upon this."

 

The defense earnestly requests that the panel of judges reflect deeply and according to Article 162 of the Law of Criminal Procedure of the PRC, and that they find and proclaim the defendant Tan Zuoren not guilty.

 

Defense attorneys: Xia Lin and Pu Zhiqiang

Beijing Municipality Huayi Law Firm

 

August 12, 2008

Continued from Part I of The Upside of Humiliation: www.flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/52272860962/in/datepos...

 

From a lecture on his person: “The grief of the event, his witnessing of it, never left him for a single second his entire life. Not for an instant. So let’s look at grief for a moment. What is it? It is an emotional and psychological experience that we undergo after some loss. It applies to all kinds of losses. But then there is a term bereavement. Which is a specific type of grief. It is what you undergo when you lose a loved one.

 

We will still use the word grief for the purpose of this lecture. Grief is an individualized process. You cannot generalize it. Everybody’s reaction and endurance of it is unique. There can be no time limit set for how long it should be felt. The stages defined by psychology in the West are denial, anger, bargaining (with God), depression, and finally acceptance.

 

There are two kinds of grief, acute and prolonged. Acute is a shock, the pain is sharp but transient. The Sufis call it a meaning making tone. When you start making sense of things. Prolonged grief is an emotional crisis, almost like a paralysis.

It’s a numbness, a social withdrawal, total pain. It causes dysfunctionality. Grief has four components; separation distress, traumatic distress, guilt and remorse and social withdrawal.

 

But Hazrat Zain ul Abideen’s (as), the unmatched social reformer of his time, a political reformer, his reaction and way of dealing with pain, for him the answer lay in three verses in the Quran. For what someone might face as a test once in a while over a lifetime, he underwent it all in nine days.

 

‏وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَىْءٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْخَوْفِ وَٱلْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْأَمْوَلِ وَٱلْأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرَتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلصَّبِرِينَ ‎

 

And surely We will test you with something of fear and hunger and loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good news to the patient ones.

Surah Al Baqarah, Verse 155

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wa lunabluwannakum: And We test them, Allah takes an oath on Himself, We will test you and we will place you in a trial, testing your steadfastness and your reach in Allah’s Tauheed, His One-ness…

 

Bi shayin: just a little, which will tell of most of it (your steadfastness) and the duality (of your reach in Tauheed)…

 

Min al khauf: from something of fear that comes from things that you hate that are external for e.g. fire, drowning, an enemy etc…

 

Wal joou’: and from something that comes from the things that you despise that are internal like greed and (excessive) hopes and miserliness and such…

 

Wa naqsim minal amwaal: and a little bit of loss of possessions which make your hearts incline towards them naturally…

 

Wal anfus: and a little bit of loss of something that belongs to your self which make you feel strength and pride because of them, from your children and your siblings and your relatives and your clan…

 

Was samaraat: and something of fruits, which are dependent on possessions and children, which grant honour and your showing off of your domination upon the enemy.

 

Wa bashirr: And give them glad tidings, O Akmal Ar Rasool, The Messenger who perfects The Messengers (peace be upon him and his family)…

 

As Saabireen: the patient ones among the ones who are certain in Tauheed and they…

 

‏ٱلَّذِينَ إِذَآ أَصَبَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌۭ قَالُوٓا۟ إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيْهِ رَجِعُونَ ‎

 

Those who, when strikes them a misfortune, they say, "Indeed, we belong to Allah and indeed we towards Him will return."

Surah Al Baqarah, Verse 156

 

Alladina ida asabathum museebatun qalu: are the ones who when affliction touches them, they say with collective union in their tongue…

 

Inna: Indeed, We are a shadow…

 

Lillah: of Allah Al Wahid, The One One, Al Ahad, The One and Only, Al Mutajjali, The One who reveals and unveils with His Perfect Names and His Exalted Attributes in this world…

 

Wa inna: and indeed we are, after our returning in the Afterworld…

 

Ilayhi: towards Him and not towards anyone other than Him from the shadows (of association)…

 

Raji’oon: the ones returning, the ones who make the returning of the shadow towards The One who created the shadows.

 

Subhan Allah!

 

‏أُو۟لَٓئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَتٌۭ مِّن رَّبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌۭ ۖ وَأُو۟لَٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُهْتَدُونَ ‎

 

Those are the ones, on them are blessings from their Lord and Mercy.

And those are the guided ones.

Surah Al Baqarah, Verse 157

 

Ulaika: They are the ones, happy, steadfast in the place of Tauheed, who are cleansed from the imprisonment of time and space, being and not being.

 

Alaihim: Upon them, not upon other than them from the people of ranks, is…

 

Salawaat: His Inclination and His Focus, which rise from the Ocean of His Essence, flowing from the streams of Attributes and Names towards the Cosmos of Appearance to grow Divine Recognition and Truth which make one reach towards the Giver of the Eternal Blessings and towards an enjoyment that lasts forever, pouring upon them forever…

 

Mir Rabbihim: from their Lord who brought them to the Place of Honour…

 

Wa rahmatun: and Mercy which covers them, and no one other than them, in abundance.

 

Wa ulaika: And they are the Al Wasiloon, the one who reach..

Hum ul muhtadoon: as the guided ones towards the True Origin and the True Abode.

 

I was left speechless.

 

There was an incident in the lecture about Imam Zain ul Abideen’s (as) blessed person which created a reflection. As if I could see the verses through his being. At one point the Imam (as) was imprisoned by his arch enemy Marwan. Zuhri, the Supreme Justice of the court of the time went to see him. Seeing his condition, shackled in chains, hardly any food and water, he fell on his feet and crying, expressed how something like this could happen to one of the sons of the one who brought the faith to this world.

 

Imam Zain ul Abideen (as) only said this: “It is enough for make me feel proud that in Karbala my father was beheaded and left without a burial, without even clothes, his body trampled by horses. It is enough to make me feel proud that my aunt and my sisters were made to sit bareback on camels for a thousand miles without a veil, when no one even set eyes on their shadow before and I was dragged behind them in markets through cities.”

 

It was the word he used in Arabic, fakhar, that I knew. It exists in Urdu but I still had to look it up to make sure I was translating it right: something that makes you proud!

 

And I thought about what Allah Subhanahu had said to Hazrat Bayazid Bastami (ra) when the means to gain what he had been told: his ilm, knowledge, his taqwa, restraint, piety and mindfulness, and his sakhawat, generosity had not granted him his heart’s only desire, Nearness, closeness, qurb!

 

“Bayazid, Come to me by way of that which I am not,” Allah Subhanahu had said.

 

“But what is it that you are possibly not?” The saint had asked, baffled.

 

He received the answer, “Humility and humiliation.”

 

Everything the Imam (as) was describing sounded like nothing but the purest and deepest humiliation a human being could possibly experience. Yet he was proud of it. I wondered, just like the martyr sees Allah in his final moment of life in this world, hence his title shaheed, the witness, was the Imam (as) and his blessed family seeing Allah Al Baseer, The Seeing One, throughout the time of their pain? Like their father, Imam Ali (as) who never prayed a sala’t where he didn’t see his Lord?

 

Perhaps that was why even in those 10 days of Karbala, never did any person of the household of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) miss a single raka’t of the 1,000 they prayed every single night. When I, if I haven’t eaten properly the night before, find myself tired and making excuses to shorten my dawn prayers, which are hardly of length to begin with.

 

Imam Zain ul Abideen (as) said to Zuhri, “You believe me to be helpless?”

 

He looked down and Zuhri narrates, ‘I looked at the Imam’s (as) hands and the shackles were broken and he said to me, Put them back on again.’

 

Zuhri said I placed the chains around his wrist and asked,

 

“What was that Ya Imam (as)?”

 

He replied, “This is surrender to the Pleasure of your Lord God. We only do that which is His Pleasure and nothing else.”

 

Was it any wonder they were the ones Chosen Ones whose capacity was deeper than oceans?

 

يَخْتَصُّ بِرَحْمَتِهِۦ مَن يَشَآءُ ۗ

 

He chooses for His Mercy whom He wills.

Surah Aal e Imran, Verse 74

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Yakhtassu bi rahmatihi: He chooses for His Mercy, a Mercy Expansive, All Encompassing, a Mercy which is a collection of Excellence and Perfection…

 

Mayya sha’u: whom He wills from His Chosen Worshippers, honoring them with His Bounty from Himself, according to their capacity, whose (that Mercy’s) depth cannot be known and its boundary cannot be estimated.

 

I realized then that my humiliation, it could never make me feel fakhar. It was a courtesy of my nafs. I chose it every time. Almost always, it misguided me by making me believe I was softer and kinder than others, hiding from me all the while that it was just proud. It thought in secret for me to only discover later, I was imagining I was better than the other. Like Iblis!

 

I ticked all the boxes of transgressors; wicked, disobedient, hypocritical, angry, ruled by my tabyat, impatient. The only thing I had going for me was that I always felt deep regret. I instantly apologized. I yearned to be forgiven so repentance poured forth from me.

 

The lecture on Muharram continued: “Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) said that in the first instance of the difficulty, patience must be exercised. Not hours or days later. Not thinking one needed time to “process.” In the first instant. Meaning what? That the family of the Prophet (peace be upon him and them) understand that every relationship is through and from Allah alone. It is never yours to lose. Nothing is yours. It all belongs to only Him.”

 

When I had first started feeling confused about the coldness of the behaviour of someone who seemed to be walking on air days ago around me, it was Qari Sahib who happened to say something in a class that made my heart calm.

 

“Before you rely on someone,” he was quoting Ghaus Pak (ra), “Kissi pe bharosa karne se pehle uss se dosti karo. (Before you rely on someone, make sure they are your friend!) And how do you know anyone for sure? Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) says through three things; either live next to them as their neighbor so you know how their days and nights are timed, travel with them so their character is revealed or engage in business with them to see their morals.”

 

The verse from my last video appeared before my eyes: it was always easy to rely on God. He had already said He was my Friend. And His Beloved (peace be upon him and his family).

And Imam Ali (as) for whom specifically, the verse descended.

 

‏إِنَّمَا وَلِيُّكُمُ ٱللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُۥ وَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱلَّذِينَ يُقِيمُونَ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ وَيُؤْتُونَ ٱلزَّكَوٰةَ وَهُمْ رَكِعُونَ ‎

 

Your only Friend is Allah and His Messenger, and those who believe,

and those who establish prayer and give zakat and they are those who bow down in prayer.

Surah Al Maida’, Verse 55

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Inna walliyyukum Allah: Indeed, Allah is your Friend, The One who is in charge of your matters as related to all kinds of ordinary love…

 

Wa Rasooluhu: and so is His Messenger (peace be upon him and his family), who is His Vice-regent second to Him, also in charge…

 

Walladina aamino: and those who brought faith in Allah with a special love (extraordinary) because of their following the Prophet (peace be upon him) and they…

 

Alladina yuqeemoona: are the one who are forever…

As salat: in prayer that brings one close to Allah’s Essence…

 

And yu’toona az zakata: and they give charity which cleanses their batin, inner being, from focus on anything other than Allah…

 

Wa: in the state of…

 

Hum rak’ioon: bowing in their prayer.

 

Huzoor Ghaus Pak (ra) says the verse is revealed for Maula Ali (may Allah gives honour to his countenance), when a beggar asked him (for alms) while he was in ruku’, bowing in prayer, and he loosened his ring so that it dropped (for him to take).

No wonder all my friendships fizzled into thin air one by one. How else was I going to learn that Innama, only three were my friends!

 

At first when I started to apply the rule of Wahjurhum hajran jameela, my nafs only brought me further humiliation in every encounter. The rule had been given. The key word was “avoid” and then it appeared again, “with gracious avoidance.” My nafs decide to ignore exactly that word. It would say to me on random days, “Well if we’re having a lunch and inviting four people, can’t we invite a fifth?”

 

It would sound reasonable enough so I would. Then would come the slap of humiliation from the other end. On another day it would say, “If we’re going to the same place an hour away, might as well driver together.” I would agree and a harder slap would come. “We’re in the area,” it would suggest, “let’s stop by and say hi.” And the humiliation would further intensify.

 

Until I understood why only because of the kindness of my guide who guides all guides!

 

In those days, one night I would read Al Fath Ar Rabbani and in it Ghaus Pak (ra) would say: Knowledge without the application of deed will only take you back to creation again and again.

 

Basically towards humiliation instead of towards dignity.

I realized what I was doing or rather was made to realize it because I was constantly reiterating the verse of avoidance in the lectures with the kids. I would circle back to it all the time. But I was tweaking the rule. Hence, the rest of its application was rendering it void. It wasn’t even that it was without result. It was having the exact opposite effect. Instead of bringing me into safety, my nafs was forcing me into harm.

 

So I reminded myself:

 

Wahjurjum: leave them and turn your attention away from them…

 

Hajran jameela: with beautiful avoidance, smiling, cheerfully,

without inclining towards their false delerium (confusion and reduced awareness)

and without consideration for them or looking after them

and without speaking to them

and with tawakkul, reliance upon Allah and entrust the matter of avenging them to Him. For indeed, He is Enough for you regarding their supply of misdeeds and ridicule.

 

It took me two weeks to apply the rule correctly. For 14 days I burned in the hell of my own creation. But each time I brought the blame upon myself because of another verse that lives with me every single day of my life to the point that I memorized it to utter in the prostrations of my namaz:

 

وَلَوْ أَنَّهُمْ إِذ ظَّلَمُوٓا۟ أَنفُسَهُمْ جَآءُوكَ فَٱسْتَغْفَرُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ

وَٱسْتَغْفَرَ لَهُمُ ٱلرَّسُولُ لَوَجَدُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ تَوَّابًۭا رَّحِيمًۭا

 

And if they, when they wronged themselves, come to you and asked forgiveness of Allah,

and the Messenger (peace be upon him) asked forgiveness for them,

surely, they would have found Allah Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Surah An-Nisa’, Verse 64

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wa lau annahum: And if they, without doubt, due to the intensity of their ghaflat, forgetfulness and hypocrisy…

 

Id zalamu anfusahum: that which befalls you of affliction, (which is) harmful, not submitting to you (O Beloved)…

 

Jaa’uka: they must come to you as the ones who repent, the one who are apologetic because of that which happened from them…

 

Fastaghfarullah: then they ask for forgiveness from Allah (being) sincere and regretful…

 

Wastaghfara lahum Ar Rasoolu: and The Messenger (peace be upon him) also asks for forgiveness for them through intercession and praying before Allah, asking for the acceptance (of the person by Him) after they have come as the ones who are apologetic…

 

Lawajadullaha: surely, they will find Allah (to be) and they will testify to Him being the One who grants Bounty and Mercy…

 

Tawwaban: (and find Allah to be) The One who accepts their repentance…

 

Raheeman: The One who is Merciful to them and grants them ability to do this (go the The Messenger (peace be upon him).

I was ghafil, forgetful, (of the rule). I was a hypocrite. I had lied to my nafs so I trained it to lie to me. Except now when it spoke I believed it and those lies only harmed me. I believed them just like once it believed me.

 

Sigh!

 

I had quoted the above verse on forgiveness countless times. But this time different words were hitting me like arrows as I read it in repetition:

 

My affliction came upon me from my own self because I didn’t submit, not to Allah Subhanahu, but His Beloved (peace be upon him and his family).

 

When I appeared before him then, tired, sad, needing release from what I had done which had imprisoned me, I needed to be

1.apologetic

2.regretful

3.repentant

4.sincere

5.then again feeling regret

6.then again being apologetic

 

A common friend had asked me when I finally started refusing invites, “Will you not ever meet again?”

 

“No,” I said, “We might. But I’m not thinking about it.”

 

I knew I would never take any steps to initiate contact. My friend became silent. She asked if I needed an apology for a shift to happen, hinting that it seemed unlikely. I smiled.

 

“I’ve had this experience many times before,” I said, “I hold no grudge. You will only find me smiling and cheerful,” I laughed, feeling again that pang of gratitude that I did not have to act cold. My heart still liked them. I did not need to distress it with a false sense of dignity.

 

Pir Naseeruddin Naseer (ra) says the person who does something wrong and does not apologize or express regret, their heart is sealed. Since it is the exercise of a choice, the person, perhaps unconsciously, becomes defiant. Disobedient. The Quran defines such a person as a fajir and Maula e Kayinaat (as) said to his son just before his passing;

 

و ایاک و مصادقۃ الفاجر فانہ یبیعک بالتاقۃ

 

And avoid the Fajir, the one who is defiant about his disobedience and insistent upon it,

for, without doubt, he will sell you for nothing.

 

The elusive “sell me for nothing” line was now crystal clear. Anyone entirely governed by their tabyat, acquired nature, was in a constant state of fear or sadness. Whereas the Friends of God never felt either because they controlled their tabyat while we were controlled by ours.

 

أَلَآ إِنَّ أَوْلِيَآءَ ٱللَّهِ لَا خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ

 

Verily, the Friends of Allah, there will be no fear upon them and not they will grieve.

Surah Yunus, Verse 62

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Ala Inna auliya Allah e: Al Munkhalaeena, the ones who are detached from the demands of being human in total, Al Munsalekheena, the one who are far from the requirements of desires of their selves in totality...

 

La khauf-un alayhim wa la hum yahzanoon: there is no fear upon them nor do they feel grief because fear and sadness, they only come from the effects of the tabyat, (the secondary nature that is acquired from outside), and the pursuit of that which fulfills it.

 

Not to mention the layer of forgetfulness, likely the top layer of the tabyat. My being existent or non-existent for them, it was the same.

 

And suddenly I was free! Not from one relationship or two but all that held no sincerity towards me. Smiling and cheerful!

 

And of all things I was the one in a place, courtesy of the hadith of my Nabi, who is Rauf and Rahim (peace be upon him and his family), where I might be rendered love from my Lord for executing a command perfectly.

 

إنَّ اللهَ تعالى يُحِبُّ إذا عمِلَ أحدُكمْ عملًا أنْ يُتقِنَهُ

 

Indeed, Allah The Exalted One loves when one of you does a deed exactly as it should be done.

 

The hadith brought home the point of the verse that when every single person was in the same boat of khusr – loss. The only possibility of separation from that state, any distinction, was a deed, salih, good.

 

‏وَٱلْعَصْرِ

إِنَّ ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ لَفِى خُسْرٍ

‏ ‎ إِلَّا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتِ

‏

(Allah takes an oath) upon time,

that the human being is surely in a state of loss,

except those who believe and do righteous deeds…

Surah Al-Asr, Verses 1-3

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Wal Asr: Then Allah Suban Ta’ala takes an oath upon time and the ages, the meaning of which is about the Eternal Essence of Allah, from the beginning till the end, Timeless and Everlasting.

 

Innal Insaana: Indeed, the human being, created such to have a natural propensity towards the nature of ma’rifa, the Recognition of God and imaan, faith according to his share of the Lahoot, the Realm of the Divine, where there is no time and space…

 

Lafe khusr: is in a state of loss, immense and humiliating failure, as a result of their busyness in that which is useless due to the requirements (and needs) of his physical being, as related to his share of the world of Nasoot, the life in this world.

 

Illa: Except the Muqinoon, those who possess inner certainty…

 

Alladina Aamino: about the One-ness of Allah Subhan Ta’ala and are conscious, through their steadfastness, in their behaviour continuously in His Kingdom and about His Authority.

 

Wa: And with this faith and certainty…

 

Amilos Sualihaat: they do good deeds which points towards their ikhas, sincerity and their yaqeen, absolute conviction, and niyyat, intention.

 

“When someone makes a particular action beautiful, Allah falls in love with that person,” a friend who is a scholar told me. “But the problem lies in us humans defining beauty itself. As long as my fitrat, the core being of a human being as created by Allah remains saleem, pure, then I will have a proper consciousness of beauty. I will call a beautiful thing beautiful and an ugly thing ugly.

 

But if my nature gets corrupted, then things become the opposite. If my tabyat, which is acquired by my habits and environment, overpowers the fitrat, ugly things become beautiful for me and beautiful things become ugly. What is beautiful loses its worth. That is the problem with the corruption of the soul. That is why one of the meanings of Islam is keeping the fitrat safe. That is why in the Hereafter Allah says what will save you is your qalb, your heart within the heart which recognizes Him, if it is saleem.”

 

I looked up the verse he quoted:

 

‏إِذْ جَآءَ رَبَّهُۥ بِقَلْبٍۢ سَلِيمٍ ‎

 

Remember when he came to his Lord with a pure heart.

Surah As Saffat, Verse 84

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Remember, O Messenger who completes the Messengers (peace be upon you and your family), the time when…

Id ja’a Rabbuhu biqalbin saleem: when he, the Prophet Ibrahim (as), came to his Lord with a heart perfect, intact from all of the inclinations false and opinions untrue.

In another lecture I came upon the most interesting definition of freedom from within my faith, of being free as a human being.

 

“What is freedom?” the scholar asked his audience. “The first question one has to ask is freedom for what and freedom from what. If you cannot answer these questions, you don’t understand what freedom is.

 

Freedom is defined as removing the obstacles from my path of prosperity and evolving. But removing others from my path of freedom is easy. The problem arises when I am the block in my own path of freedom. That is the challenge. What if I am the hurdle in my spiritual or socio-economic or moral progress.

 

The Quran addresses both social freedom and individual freedom through the context of sending Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family).”

 

The he quoted the verse:

 

لَقَدْ مَنَّ ٱللَّهُ عَلَى ٱلْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِذْ بَعَثَ فِيهِمْ رَسُولًۭا مِّنْ أَنفُسِهِمْ

يَتْلُوا۟ عَلَيْهِمْ ءَايَتِهِۦ

وَيُزَكِّيهِمْ

وَيُعَلِّمُهُمُ ٱلْكِتَبَ

وَٱلْحِكْمَةَ

وَإِن كَانُوا۟ مِن قَبْلُ لَفِى ضَلَلٍۢ مُّبِينٍ ‎

 

Indeed, Allah has bestowed a favour upon the believers, when he raised in their midst an apostle from among themselves,

to convey His Messages unto them,

and to cause them to grow in purity,

and to impart unto them the Divine Writ as well as wisdom,

where as before that they were, indeed, most obviously, lost in error.

Surah Aal e Imran, Verse 164

 

I had translated its tafseer so I went back to it.

 

Laqad Mannallahu: By the Name of Allah, He bestowed a great Favour…

 

Ala al Mo’mineen: upon the ones who are sincere…

 

Id ba’atha fi-him: when he raised him, the Prophet (peace be upon him)), from amongst them for their guidance…

 

Rasool an: as a Messenger to be their Murshid, guide, who was brought up…

 

Min Anfusihim: in them to guide them with different types of guidance.

 

Yatlu alihim: First of all, he recites to them (the Quran) and makes them listen…

 

Ayati hi: to Allah’s Verses, which indicate towards the One-ness of His Essence.

 

Wa Yuzzakihim: Secondly, he purifies them from the evils whisperings of Satan and those desires that lead one astray from the Path of Allah’s One-ness.

 

Wa Yuallimuhim: And thirdly, he teaches them…

 

Al Kitab: the Book, which explains and clarifies to them the means to cleanse the overt, the zahir, as well as everything which is related to the apparent world.

 

Wa: Then fourthly he teaches them…

 

Al hikmat; the wisdom that purifies their inner being, the batin, from the inclination towards anything other than Allah, (both people and things), and which connects them to Sidrat al Muntaha, the Lote Tree, near which is Jannat ul Mawa, Heaven.

 

Wa in Kanu Min Qablu: And they were before the unveiling of these four stations…

 

Lafi Dalalin Mubeen: in clear waywardness and severe humiliation.

 

At the end then Ghaus Pak (ra) prays: “Ya Allah! By Your Bounty, save us from the sleep of those who are heedless.

I re-read each word carefully. Through the perfect being of Ajmal Ar Rusul alone, the most beautiful Prophet (peace be upon him and his family) because he is the noor who brings, reveals, unveils and clarifies it, the Book cleanses the overt. Through the wisdom he alone teaches, the inner is purified.

 

But before both he does the tazkiya, the purification of thought.

 

As Qari Sahib says, “For purity to enter, the vessel must be pure!”

 

I counted the number of times the verb hada’, to guide, appeared in the verse. Only through his guidance, seeking it, staying in it, came the safety from the whisperings of Satan and one’s own desires, unending and dictated by the nafs.

In another verse, I saw an additional meaning of what malice in the breast is: selfishness, duality.

 

I was noticing how Mankind was entirely blanketed in self-centeredness courtesy of the addiction to technology. For the first consequence of any addiction, be it sick love, eating, watching tv or holding a phone 24/7, is selfishness. The second cause of wickedness of the heart, was duality. Which Ghaus Pak (ra) defined as hopes and expectations associated with others.

 

وَنَزَعْنَا مَا فِى صُدُورِهِم مِّنْ غِلٍّ تَجْرِى مِن تَحْتِهِمُ ٱلْأَنْهَـٰرُ ۖ

وَقَالُوا۟ ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ ٱلَّذِى هَدَىٰنَا لِهَـٰذَا وَمَا كُنَّا لِنَهْتَدِىَ لَوْلَآ أَنْ هَدَىٰنَا ٱللَّهُ ۖ

 

And We will remove whatever is in their breasts of malice.

Flows from underneath them the rivers.

And they will say, "All the praise (is) for Allah, the One Who guided us to this, and we were not to receive guidance if not (had) guided us Allah. Certainly, came Messengers of our Lord with the truth."

Surah Al-Araaf, Verse 43

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wa: After they have entered the Heaven of Tauheed, One-ness…

 

Naza’na ma fi sudoorihim min ghill-in: after We erased from their breasts, duality and selfishness

 

Tajri min tahtihal anhaar: (the Heaven) under which flow rivers of Ma’rifat, Knowledge of God and Haqaiq, Realities of the Essence of God, sprouting from the Ocean of the His One-ness.

 

Wa: After their unveiling due the dissolving of their identity and they triumph in the Everlasting Existence of Allah…

 

Qaalu: they said, with the capability of their tongues as inspired by Allah, that they may become steadfast on gratitude…

 

Alhamdo: praise and admiration that rises from tasleem o raza, surrender and acceptance…

 

Lillah alladi hada-na li hada: for The One who made us reach the status of contentedness and the Place of the Honour of meeting Him…

 

Wa ma kunna li nahtadiya: Which we would not have reached if we had stayed in the company of our desires and the darkness of our selves…

 

Lau la an hada-na: were it not for his Lutf, Kindness and Endless Generosity and Vast Mercy.

 

I memorized the second verse instantly to utter in my prostrations.

 

The lecture continued: “The Rasool (peace be upon him and his family) has been sent to cleanse your overt and inner beings. So in fact he has been sent to free you from your own self that shackles you.”

 

I went back to my notes from my lecture for the kids and looked up the list of what emanates from my self to remember exactly the definition of those “shackles:”

 

وَلَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ وَنَعْلَمُ مَا تُوَسْوِسُ بِهِۦ نَفْسُهُۥ ۖ

 

And certainly We created man and We know what his self whispers to him.

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wa: And We…

 

Na’alamu: We know him from that point…

 

Ma tuwaswisu: (as to) what whispers and makes up a rambling story…

 

Bihi nafsohu: from his own self and sways his heart (from that point) until now from

1.those kinds of delusions and false imaginings

2.and those things that descend upon him as animalistic desires

3.and those thoughts that are imprisoned by the chains of rituals

4.and shackles of inherent habits that are inherited

5.as a result of useless ponderings which are mixed with unthinking paranoia.

 

I began to look up the verses the scholar had quoted to emphasize that there was only one original source of tazkiya, purification. There was only one human being that Allah Subhanahu had chosen, appointed, named in all His Other Books and announced that he in turn, determined and then commanded, solely, what was intrinsically beneficial and what caused harm for the self.

 

The lecture continued: “Ma’roof is that which my fitrat knows and recognizes as good and munkir is that which my iftrat knows is sinful and wrong. So the Prophet (peace be upon him and his family) does not command anything that the fitrat dislikes and only commands that which it already knows as good.

 

For the Quran repeatedly uses the words “transgression of boundaries” in the context of the injustice we do to our own selves. Not the injustice we perpetrate on others. Not the injustice others impose on us. The focus is always brought to one’s own nafs al Ammara. Similarly he only forbids that which the fitrat already knows is harmful for it. Nothing else! There is no conflict in his instruction and order for the soul.”

 

Then he quoted the verse which I translated with Qari Sahib:

 

ٱلَّذِينَ يَتَّبِعُونَ ٱلرَّسُولَ ٱلنَّبِىَّ ٱلْأُمِّىَّ

ٱلَّذِى يَجِدُونَهُۥ مَكْتُوبًا عِندَهُمْ فِى ٱلتَّوْرَىٰةِ وَٱلْإِنجِيلِ يَأْمُرُهُم بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ

وَيَنْهَىٰهُمْ عَنِ ٱلْمُنكَرِ وَيُحِلُّ لَهُمُ ٱلطَّيِّبَـٰتِ

وَيُحَرِّمُ عَلَيْهِمُ ٱلْخَبَـٰٓئِثَ وَيَضَعُ عَنْهُمْ إِصْرَهُمْ وَٱلْأَغْلَـٰلَ ٱلَّتِى كَانَتْ عَلَيْهِمْ ۚ

فَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ بِهِۦ وَعَزَّرُوهُ وَنَصَرُوهُ وَٱتَّبَعُوا۟ ٱلنُّورَ ٱلَّذِىٓ أُنزِلَ مَعَهُۥٓ ۙ أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُفْلِحُونَ

 

Those who follow the Messenger, the Ummiyy Prophet (peace be upon him) whom they find written with them in the Torah and the Injīl ,

and who bids them what is fair and forbids what is unfair,

and makes lawful for them good things,

and makes unlawful for them impure things,

and relieves them of their burden, and of the shackles that were upon them.

So, those who believe in him and support him, and help him and follow the light sent down with him, - those are the ones who are successful.

Surah Al Ara-af, Verse 157

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wahum: And they are…

 

Alladina yatti’buna As Rasool: the ones who follow the Messenger (peace be upon him), the one who was sent with the Essence of One-ness (Al Mursil bi Tauheed)…

 

An Nabiyya: the Prophet, Al Mutammim li mukarim il akhlaq, the one who was sent to complete the nobleness of manners (upon Allah’s Akhlaq, His Attributes)…

 

Al Ummiya: the one who is Al Muttahaqiq, the one who was made inevitable, Al Makhsoos, the one who was made uniquely special with Ilm il Luduni, the Divine Knowledge, which was taught to him from his Lord without acquisition (from other means), without effort, without any formal training from any teacher, and he is…

 

Alladi yajidoonahu: who they find in all of the books of the faiths…

 

Maktooban: written about in those books, about his being sent and his religion and his name and his appearance and all of his attributes…

 

Ayndahum fi Torat wal Ineel: in the Torat and in the Injeel, Bible, that when he will announce his Prophet-hood…

 

Ya’monohum bil ma’roof and yanhahum ayn al munkir ya

yahillu lahum tayyebaat: who bids them what is fair and forbids what is unfair, and makes lawful for them the good things, which they forbid upon their own selves…

 

Wa yuharrimu alaihum al khabais: and makes unlawful for them impure things, which they made lawful for themselves…

Wa aidan: And also…

 

Yada’u anhum israhum: relieves them of their loads i.e. the burdens which they carry by leaving the world and detaching from it, which was more than their strength to bear, just like they cut their bodily parts by which they sinned and just like they cut the cloth they wore if it became soiled and other than this…

 

Wa; he also made them free…

 

Al aghlaal: of their shackles i.e. the painful difficulties…

 

Allati kanat alaihim falladina aamino bihi: which came upon them. So those who believed in him, (the Messenger peace be upon him), when he was sent and gave his invitation (towards the One-ness of Allah)…

 

Wa azzaruhu: and they honoured him in the way that he was deserving of honour and glorification…

 

Wa nasaruhu: and they helped him, supporting him in his religion…

 

Wstaba’u an Noor: and they followed The Light, which is the Quran…

 

Alladi unzila ma’hu: which is sent with him from Allah to help him and to testify…

 

Ulaika: these are the ones who are the fortunate and radiant and accepted by Allah. They are the Al Muwwafiqoon, the ones given the ability to follow him.

 

Humul muflihoon: It is they who are the successful ones i.e. Al Muqassaroon, the ones who are confined by Him in success and triumph with victory.

 

Subhan Allah!

 

It was exactly what the scholar said. There was no conflict in what he ordered and what was intrinsically a source of ease. The hurdle was indeed one’s own self every single time that pulled on in the opposite direction of what was naturally good for it. In the form of hesitation, reluctance, delay, refusal, denial!

 

The lecture continued: “Imam Ali (as) says it most beautifully in the exact opposite manner of the mantra of the West which is ‘We are all born free.’ Because Islam gives one the right of social and individual freedom like nothing else for it is a freedom given by God Himself.

 

لا تكُن عبدا لغيرك، وقد خلقك الله حُرًا

 

Don’t be a slave to any other because indeed, Allah Subhanahu, has created you free.

 

Those who themselves are as individuals enslaved by their nafs, they are the ones who try to enslave others as well. Only the likes those who are free, like Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family), free others. Like Hazrat Bilal (ratu), Hazrat Anas (ratu), you, me. If I am free from my nafs I want everybody to be free. And if I am enslaved by it, I want everybody to be enslaved by it as well. And then become enslaved to me.”

 

I realized that once I decided I would adhere to a rule, my nafs surrendered itself never because of my own “determination.” I had written once before, because I learnt it from Maulana Rum (ra), that the nafs holds the aql prisoner. Reflection, consideration, they’re all impossibilities because the nafs does not bow to that which it imprisons. On top of it the ghaflat, perpetual state of forgetfulness, allows for a permanence of the dire state.

 

Masnavi Shareef: “Your nafs has made itself your lord and master. The one who slaughters it is your aql, the power to reflect. But it becomes hostage to the ego and prays for blessings from the Divine without struggling for them. But the price of receiving that blessing without trial is the killing of the ego, for it is the root of all wrongdoing. And that is impossible without a guide.”

 

رزق جانی کے بری با سعی و جست

جز با عدل شیخ کو داؤد تست

 

How can you ever gain blessings from your own struggles and endeavours?

Without the assistance of the Spiritual Master who intervenes for you like Hazrat Dawood (as)?

 

نفس چوں با شیخ بیندگام تو

از بن دندان شود او رام تو

 

When your nafs, your ego, sees you in the footsteps of your guide, it will have no choice but to become obedient to you.

 

عقل گایے غالب آید در شکار

بر سگ نفست کہ باشد شیخ یار

 

The aql, your powers to reflect, will only conquer the enemy, your ego, in this battle

when you are accompanied by your Sheikh.

 

My nafs allowed me to follow the rule of the verse of avoidance only because of the attention of someone upon me. A Master, A Master of Masters. A Master of the Universe!

 

As I wrote the piece and translated from the Arabic word by word the exegesis of the verses, I started honing in on Allah’s Names and Attributes to deepen my understanding of them. So that when my heart uttered them in my namaz, my qalb felt something. That Station of Ma’rifat, Recognition of The Divine, if not saw, then at least heard something. If not from the Realm of the Unseen, then from my own tongue.

 

And I remembered that the Prophet who perfected the Message (peace be upon him and his family) saying:

 

لا یستقیم ایمان احدکم حتی یستقیم قلبہ

و لا یستقیم قلبہ حتی یستقیم لسانہ

و لا یستقیم لسانہ حتی تستقیم اعمالہ

 

“None of you can persevere in your imaan, faith, till his qalb, the Seat of Recognition of Allah, becomes steadfast.

And his qalb cannot be unfaltering until his tongue becomes correct.

And his tongue cannot be correct until his deeds become unwavering.”

 

Ghaus Pak (ra) says; “Anything that I have been bestowed in my life as a blessing only came to me by way of the Ahl e Bait – the blessed household of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family).”

 

This comes from someone who is in fact one of the most extraordinary members of that household himself. The one who is the unquestioned conduit of spirituality for the Universe till the end of its existence. After Damascus I knew with certainty that the same held true for me. Everything I was ever bestowed in my entire life only came to me by way of the Ahl e Bait (as).

 

My heart was flooded by that love in the city called Paradise by Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) himself. The first time, the second, every single time. Upon each return I felt like I entered a womb, the only word to describe my feelings. I was loved and cared in a way I had never experienced in my life. Hence if that life were to hit reset, if I was also allowed one thing that wasn’t a part of the first one, I would request that I be born in Damascus and live there forever.

 

Iqbal said, and I have quoted him umpteenth times in my pieces, that heaven and hell are here in this world. Ghaus Pak (ra) says the same. His definition of hell is unforgettable: deprivation, humiliation, doubt, desires, endless hopes. All due to the nafs causing paranoia and delusions.

 

Fi naari jahannuma (Surah Tauba, Verse 109): in the fires of Hell i.e. a deep valley, very wide, full of the fire of deprivation and humiliation.

 

And doubt!

 

لَهُم مِّن جَهَنَّمَ مِهَادٌ وَمِن فَوْقِهِمْ غَوَاشٍ ۚ

وَكَذَٰلِكَ نَجْزِى ٱلظَّـٰلِمِينَ

 

For them Hell (is) their resting place and their covering as well. And thus We recompense the wrongdoers.

Surah Al-Araaf, Ayaat 41

 

Lahum min jahannama: Hell is the torture of imkaan, possibility which is doubt.

 

Mihaad: They will burn in these fires of their false desires…

 

Wa min fauqihim ghiwash: covered with the fires of their power and wealth and claims of being great and possessing abundance.

 

Wa ka daalika najzi ad-dualimeen: The zalimeen are the ones who transgress the boundaries of Allah due to their nafs which are drowning in the addiction of their senses, their paranoia and their delusion.

 

In a lecture on a day, Qari Sahib quoted the iconic line in the Quran about the faith that all Muslims know; La ikrahu fi-deen.

“There is no compulsion in embracing Islam and none in practicing it. Pray, don’t pray. Give zaka’t, don’t give it. Forgive or hold a grudge. Lie or tell a truth. It is all up to you. Be clear on the influence of your own nafs upon your own self.”

 

We studied the tafseer of the verse by Ghaus Pak (ra). I wanted to understand what it meant. And of course I was rewarded for the effort. For when translations called Taghut, “false deities and gods,” Ghaus Pak (ra) called the nafs al Ammara, bringing the matter from the “other” back upon one’s own self.

 

‏لَآ إِكْرَاهَ فِى ٱلدِّينِ ۖ قَد تَّبَيَّنَ ٱلرُّشْدُ مِنَ ٱلْغَىِّ ۚ

فَمَن يَكْفُرْ بِٱلطَّغُوتِ وَيُؤْمِنۢ بِٱللَّهِ فَقَدِ ٱسْتَمْسَكَ بِٱلْعُرْوَةِ ٱلْوُثْقَىٰ لَا ٱنفِصَامَ لَهَا ۗ

وَٱللَّهُ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ ‎

 

There is no compulsion in the religion. Surely has become distinct the right (path) from the wrong. Then whoever rejects false deities and believes in Allah, then surely he grasped the handhold - firm, which will not break for him.

And Allah (is) All-Hearing, All-Knowing.

Surah Al Baqarah, Verse 256

 

Tafseer Jilani

 

La ikraha: There is no force and there is no threat and there is no compulsion...

 

Fi deen: in compliance in the religion of Islam and being obedient of it, after the appearance of the ultimate truth because…

 

Qad tabayyana: indeed, it becomes clear and indeed, it is made distinct…

 

Ar rushd: the right path and guidance…

 

Min al gayye: from allurement and misguidedness.

 

Fa man yakfur bit taaghute: So anyone who denies the truth by believing in false idols, which is the nafs al Ammara which misguides from the Path of Truth…

 

Ya yu’min billah: and brings faith in Allah Al Hadi, The True Guide, towards the Straight Path…

 

Faqad-is-tamsaka: surely he attached himself to, and in fact, grasped and clung…

 

Bil urwatil wusqa: to the strong rope which is the Rope of Allah Subhanahu, hanging from the Permanence of His Essence to the Everlasting-ness of His Names and Attributes…

 

Lan fisama: It (the rope) will not break and it will not disconnect…

 

Laha: from itself ever.

 

Wallahu: And Allah Al Hadi, The Guide, is for all…

 

Samee’un: The All Hearing with His Essence the words of everyone…

 

Aleem-un: All Knowing of everything and the interests of all which have been placed inside them.

 

“So reflect,” says Ghaus Pak (ra), “O you are perishing, where do you place yourself in this?”

 

The marker of distortion and disruption in faith was the nafs. And the savior: connection of Allah Subhanahu’s Names and Attributes woven inside the rope that brought attachment to Him.

 

While I wrote the piece, my reflections were all concentrations upon the namaz. I began to write down each line in it to understand the sequence of the meaning.

 

The beginning is a seeking of refuge in Allah Subhanahu:

Audobillah e min as Shaitan ar rajeem – I seek refuge from Satan the accursed.

 

Then comes Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Rahim – the first invocation of Allah’s Names.

 

It was followed by the Surah Al Fateha, the preface of the Quran. In it the first three lines of the Surah were praise of Allah Subhanahu. The first line also being the expression of gratitude:

 

Alhamdolillah e Rabbil Aalmeen – All praise is for Allah, the Lord of all the Universe.

 

The second and third verses both invoked His Names, the same ones:

 

Ar Rahman Ar Rahim – The Entirely Merciful, The Especially Merciful.

 

Then Maalik e Youm iddin – The King of the Day of Judgement.

After came the submission; We only worship you and We only ask You for help.

 

And finally the prayer, which was for guidance!

 

But in that ask was a secret. The Sirat e Mustaqeem for which guidance was sought, that Straight Path, the verse reveals, was the one walked upon by those someones who were blessed by Him – siraat alladaina an’amta alayhim.

 

From the verb, I learnt a new Name of Allah: Naeem.

I heard a scholar say once: “Allah Subhanahu did not come to Earth and walk that path Himself. He sent others to show it and those who followed them and those after who followed them until in a meadow of grass, footsteps became outlined. A path leads to the Path.”

 

The greatest conflict within the faith today exists because people refuse to follow anyone else. But they don’t know, their aql imprisoned by their nafs will never surrender to anything except precisely when they follow another.

 

As my attention upon the words in the namaz intensified, I began to wonder that was actually being said by me in the part called the Tashahhud.

 

Part III Continued on: www.flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/52274085984/in/datepos...

What's more humiliating? That this guy has to wear the chicken head, or that I'm in the McDonalds drive-thru at 8:00 in the morning?

Somebody stop my

Wife! She's humiliating

A defenseless dog!

  

Kidding. Jules didn't actually let Movie go out in the panda suit (though it *was* freezing). It's actually a little big for her, and the hood falls over her eyes, and then she bumps into things.

 

The price of fashion.

  

(P.S. John, RIP. 28 years.)

sissy slut loves daddy cock

I love women very much, but even if I love to wear women's underwear and girdles, I don't want to simulate femininity and I don't have transsexual ambitions. (I don't own men's underwear since a long time.) I'm just a fat, effeminate loser, so I expose myself wearing bra, garter belt and women's stockings to my public humiliation. I do this, as seen in some pictures, also in the street and in parks.

Read more about me and my life on my website with lots of pictures, videos and texts (en/en). You can find the link on the info/start page on the right side under the showcase pictures.

I love women very much, but even if I love to wear women's underwear and girdles, I don't want to simulate femininity and I don't have transsexual ambitions. (I don't own men's underwear since a long time.) I'm just a fat, effeminate loser, so I expose myself wearing bra, garter belt and women's stockings to my public humiliation. I do this, as seen in some pictures, also in the street and in parks.

Read more about me and my life on my website with lots of pictures, videos and texts (en/en). You can find the link on the info/start page on the right side under the showcase pictures.

I love women very much, but even if I love to wear women's underwear and girdles, I don't want to simulate femininity and I don't have transsexual ambitions. (I don't own men's underwear since a long time.) I'm just a fat, effeminate loser, so I expose myself wearing bra, garter belt and women's stockings to my public humiliation. I do this, as seen in some pictures, also in the street and in parks.

Read more about me and my life on my website with lots of pictures, videos and texts (en/en). You can find the link on the info/start page on the right side under the showcase pictures.

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Read more about me and my life on my website with lots of pictures, videos and texts (en/en). You can find the link on the info/start page on the right side under the showcase pictures.

I love to wear women's underwear and girdles, I don't own men's underwear since a long time. But I don't want to simulate femininity and I don't have transsexual ambitions. I'm just a fat, effeminate loser, who always failed in relationships with women as a real man. I was brought up to be a sissified, feminized boy who wore girly panties, camisoles and tights, so I grew up to be a feminized sissy. For many, many years I expose my shame in public for my humiliation. I do this on the Internet and I wear blouses and skirts, bras and silicone breasts, girdle suspenders and stockings on the street and in parks, as can be seen in some photos. I am very well known in the neighborhood as a ridiculous, effeminate sissy.

Follow the gallery, and we will fulfill it soon.

 

For more: www.Cruel-Furies.com

I love women very much, but even if I love to wear women's underwear and girdles, I don't want to simulate femininity and I don't have transsexual ambitions. (I don't own men's underwear since a long time.) I'm just a fat, effeminate loser, so I expose myself wearing bra, garter belt and women's stockings to my public humiliation. I do this, as seen in some pictures, also in the street and in parks.

Read more about me and my life on my website with lots of pictures, videos and texts (en/en). You can find the link on the info/start page on the right side under the showcase pictures.

I love women very much, but even if I love to wear women's underwear and girdles, I don't want to simulate femininity and I don't have transsexual ambitions. (I don't own men's underwear since a long time.) I'm just a fat, effeminate loser, so I expose myself wearing bra, garter belt and women's stockings to my public humiliation. I do this, as seen in some pictures, also in the street and in parks.

Read more about me and my life on my website with lots of pictures, videos and texts (en/en). You can find the link on the info/start page on the right side under the showcase pictures.

I love women very much, but even if I love to wear women's underwear and girdles, I don't want to simulate femininity and I don't have transsexual ambitions. (I don't own men's underwear since a long time.) I'm just a fat, effeminate loser, so I expose myself wearing bra, garter belt and women's stockings to my public humiliation. I do this, as seen in some pictures, also in the street and in parks.

Read more about me and my life on my website with lots of pictures, videos and texts (en/en). You can find the link on the info/start page on the right side under the showcase pictures.

Mixed media on paper, 2013.

So humiliated when she realized the cause of her husband's frigidity

When you're a snorer, this is the kind of thing you come home to

Bayonetta Kicking more male butts! XD

 

Watch the video on my YouTube channel! :3

 

www.youtube.com/c/KarlaSneaksmileGoddess

Foam pies and my head in a sack

I love women very much, but even if I love to wear women's underwear and girdles, I don't want to simulate femininity and I don't have transsexual ambitions. (I don't own men's underwear since a long time.) I'm just a fat, effeminate loser, so I expose myself wearing bra, garter belt and women's stockings to my public humiliation. I do this, as seen in some pictures, also in the street and in parks.

Read more about me and my life on my website with lots of pictures, videos and texts (en/en). You can find the link on the info/start page on the right side under the showcase pictures.

Use however you wish to humiliate and expose my secret side. Maybe send emails to tell me what you've done that I can't stop

another humiliating holiday snap

Read more about me and my life on my website with lots of pictures, videos and texts (en/en). You can find the link on the info/start page on the right side under the showcase pictures.

I love to wear women's underwear and girdles, I don't own men's underwear since a long time. But I don't want to simulate femininity and I don't have transsexual ambitions. I'm just a fat, effeminate loser, who always failed in relationships with women as a real man. I was brought up to be a sissified, feminized boy who wore girly panties, camisoles and tights, so I grew up to be a feminized sissy. For many, many years I expose my shame in public for my humiliation. I do this on the Internet and I wear blouses and skirts, bras and silicone breasts, girdle suspenders and stockings on the street and in parks, as can be seen in some photos. I am very well known in the neighborhood as a ridiculous, effeminate sissy.

I had to wear my idiot shorts in front of a field of footballers, tip coke over my head and pie myself.

View On White

I had to wear my idiot shorts in front of a field of footballers, tip coke over my head and pie myself.

I had to wear my idiot shorts in front of a field of footballers, tip coke over my head and pie myself.

I had to wear my idiot shorts in front of a field of footballers, tip coke over my head and pie myself.

I had to wear my idiot shorts in front of a field of footballers, tip coke over my head and pie myself.

Visit this location at Humiliation in Paradise in Second Life

Visit this location at Humiliation in Paradise in Second Life

Follow the gallery, and we will fulfill it soon.

 

For more: www.Cruel-Furies.com

Slave label collar shirt. I have to keep jersey all buttoned up to, to hide my collar shirt with "slave" labes on

I was stock like this for 3.5 hours.

seen in Alton, Hampshire

The pillory was a device made of a wooden or metal framework erected on a post, with holes for securing the head and hands, formerly used for punishment by public humiliation and often further physical abuse, sometimes lethal.[1] The pillory is related to the stocks.[2]

 

The word is documented in English since 1274 (attested in Anglo-Latin from c.1189), and stems from Old French pellori (1168; modern French pilori, see below), itself from Medieval Latin pilloria, of uncertain origin, perhaps a diminutive of Latin pila "pillar, stone barrier."[3]

Rather like the lesser punishment called the stocks, the pillory consisted of hinged wooden boards that formed holes through which the head and/or various limbs were inserted; then the boards were locked together to secure the captive. Pillories were set up to hold petty criminals in marketplaces, crossroads, and other public places.[2] Pillories were often placed on platforms to increase public visibility of the punished offender. (See photo, above.) Often a placard detailing the crime was placed nearby; these punishments generally lasted only a few hours.

 

Time in the pillory was more dangerous than in the stocks, as the pillory forced the offender to remain standing and exposed.

  

Use of a pillory at a Renaissance fair.A criminal in the stocks would expect to be abused but his or her life was not targeted. A prisoner in the pillory was presumed to have committed a more serious crime and, accordingly, usually triggered a more aggressive reaction from the crowd.

 

As part of the punishment, crowds would throw garbage and other objects at the captive pilloried offender.[2] With hands trapped, he or she could not avoid thrown objects - either mostly harmless items like rotten food - or injurious ones such as heavy stones, where blinding, permanent maiming, or death could be the consequence. Sometimes a criminal's ears would be nailed to the pillory so that any movement of the head to avoid thrown objects would cause further injury.[citation needed]

 

The criminal could also be sentenced to further punishments while in the pillory: humiliation by shaving of some or all hair or regular corporal punishment(s), notably flagellation (the pillory serving as the whipping post), birching, caning[citation needed] or even permanent mutilation such as branding or having an ear cut off

 

source:wikipedia

 

Read more about me and my life on my website with lots of pictures, videos and texts (en/en). You can find the link on the info/start page on the right side under the showcase pictures.

I love to wear women's underwear and girdles, I don't own men's underwear since a long time. But I don't want to simulate femininity and I don't have transsexual ambitions. I'm just a fat, effeminate loser, who always failed in relationships with women as a real man. I was brought up to be a sissified, feminized boy who wore girly panties, camisoles and tights, so I grew up to be a feminized sissy. For many, many years I expose my shame in public for my humiliation. I do this on the Internet and I wear blouses and skirts, bras and silicone breasts, girdle suspenders and stockings on the street and in parks, as can be seen in some photos. I am very well known in the neighborhood as a ridiculous, effeminate sissy.

Foam pies and my head in a sack

Foam pies and my head in a sack