“I have a horror of rest. (...) I will not say I like danger, but I like life to be hazardous, and I want it to demand at every moment the whole of my courage, my happiness, my health...”

(André Gide, "The Immoralist")

"Quoting is easy; reading takes effort. One feeds the ego, the other feeds the mind. Reading blurbs is an acceptable compromise."

(Hubert Crackanthorpe)

Location: The Quieting

Reflections in a Trashcan: Bastards - Shit for Brains

Read all about my photo contest and win some bucks to buy more Second Life crap!

(aka "My Kitchen is my Battlefield" aka "Burnt Offerings" aka 'Yummy M83")

"In this kitchen, we don’t just cook; we ignite culinary fireworks."

(Unknown, "Food Wars")

"Cooking is an art of expression, and I paint with smoke."

(Hubert Crackanthorpe)

"I'll be back with the whole fire department."

(Dan Bigelow, "The Towering Inferno")

Combustible Classic: Fatboy Slim - Weapon of Choice

Mr Hubert, sartorially speaking:

Helmet: Dirty Rat

Tank top: Cold Ash

Dog tags: SuXue Design

Ops Jeans: L&B

Gloves: RealEvil Industries

Fire extinguisher: [Since 1975]

“What doesn’t kill you leaves you smoldering.”

This picture was created for the November exhibition at IGC Gallery, who kindly invited me to contribute.

This one is (once more) for Bunbuns and Kali, best/cutest/sweetest/most loving partners in crime ever. With a special mention for Buns, without whom there would be no Hubert.

You can feel anything you wanna feel: Sebadoh - Flame

Part I of a Diptych (The Tragicomedy of Smoking)

"Upon the heat and flame of thy distemper / Sprinkle cool patience."

(William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act III)

Belgian Barking (live from my hometown, 2011, featuring my bloodbrothers and soulsisters in doom & noise... thank you very much, Children of the Night): Church of Ra - Oathbreaker vs. Hessian

(aka ‘Neon Nights', aka 'Oh no, here it comes again’)

“Moving on a never-bending light

Phantom figures free forever

Out of shadows, shining ever-bright”

(Black Sabbath, Neon Knights)

Mano Cornuta: Black Sabbath – Neon Knights

(aka ‘Pontifex Piger’, aka ‘Preacher & Pistols at Dawn’, aka '59 Reasons and Buns & Kali are 2'', aka 'No to Everything')

Rez day: 06-12-1966

“With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.”

(William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice)

“I could match you drink for drink, but I don't bother

I know I could make her boyfriend mad, but I don't bother

I could captivate with a story of mine, but I don't bother

I could go on and start a conga line, but I don't bother

(...)

No to everything”

(Pissed Jeans, False Jesii, part 2)

Lethargic Lyricism: Pissed Jeans - False Jesii, part 2

"There is a real world, but it is beyond this glamour and this vision, beyond these 'chases in Arras, dreams in a career,' beyond them all as beyond a veil. I do not know whether any human being has ever lifted that veil; but I do know, Clarke, that you and I shall see it lifted this very night from before another's eyes. You may think this all strange nonsense; it may be strange, but it is true, and the ancients knew what lifting the veil means. They called it seeing the god Pan."

(Arthur Machen, "The Great God Pan")

The youth squirmed in a shower of gold: Coil - Cathedral in Flames

"Maybe this is how it starts— you reach a point where you just can’t go back.”

(Kazuo Ishiguro, "The Remains of the Day")

Location: Frogmore

And there is nothing left to say that has not been said: And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead - Mistakes and Regrets

"I haven't been home in years."

(Del in 'Planes, Trains & Automobiles', 1987)

Location: Lake Ruby Winterland

Monstrophonic: 50 ft Combo - Jennifer Jennings (Louis Neefs cover)

"Raoult’s Law states that in an ideal solution, the partial vapor pressure of each component is proportional to its mole fraction in the liquid. This law holds best for ideal solutions where intermolecular forces between different components are similar."

(From the notes of a not so random chemistry teacher)

Pansexual Double Feature: Specimen - Kiss Kiss Bang Bang // Virgin Prunes - Pagan Lovesong

(aka 'Very Humdrum', aka 'Chess Bored')

"The only horrible thing in the world is ennui, Dorian. That is the one sin for which there is no forgiveness"

(Oscar Wilde, "The Picture of Dorian Gray")

Weary Wailing: Buzzcocks - Boredom

(aka 'Mortui vivos docent', aka 'Blah Blah Blah')

“When you're dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you're dead? Nobody.”

(J.D. Salinger)

"Oh, how grand it ends—

just like fireworks in the rain.

Cue dramatic sigh."

(Hubert Crackanthorpe)

Lamentable Lament: 45Grave – Party Time

"Tis the season for unexpected passengers"

The backbone of this country : Big Black - The Power Of Independent Trucking

“But what I do I do because I like to do.”

(Anthony Burgess, A Clockwork Orange)

Warning! Implicit Lyrics: The Fall - Big New Prinz

Read all about my photo contest, win some bucks, and become a hip priest of violence yourself.

"Jimmy was a local boy but he's seen much more than the change in the weather."

Bittersweet Echoes: The Rifles - Local Boy

"Everybody is a book of blood; wherever we're opened, we're red."

(Clive Barker)

Location: Valmoor Raw

One for sorrow, one for me: Killing Joke - Seeing Red

"We’ll be by soon… for a cup of sugar and a drop of your soul."

Location: The Unicorn Lodge

Your cards are numbered and so are my days: Alien Sex Fiend - Dead and Re-buried.

Cooler than the weather, slicker than the ice, and stylish in disaster

Location: Pususaari (where you can actually go skating on a magnificent pond. It's safer than it looks here 😇)

Ca fait VLAM! ça fait SPLATCH! et ça fait CHTUCK!: Shelley Hirsch - Comic Strip (Serge Gainsbourg cover)

(aka 'Red Light, Red Pen', aka 'Sleaze and Spelling')

"Ugly people doing ugly things"

(Halo of Kitten, 'I Hate Porn')

Spellcheck me, Daddy: Guv'ner - Coitus City

Read all about my photo contest, be a peeping tom, earn some money, and tip a stripper decently

It's all about lots of hot air (and really good hair)

Location: The Unicorn Lodge (winter version still under construction, because deadlines-R-not-us)

I saw the world thrashing all around your face: Modern English - I Melt With You

(aka 'SL Growing Pains: The Facelight Bar Fight')

"You should see the other guy. Or not. Because he had a really bad facelight. That's how it all started anyway."

(Hubert Crackanthorpe)

Vintage Violence: Unsane - Scrape

"When there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire."

Smouldering Waltz: Stars - Your Ex-Lover Is Dead

Bunbuns: Daddy can we go to Kawaii Secrets now? Pretty pleaseeee?'

Hubert Crackanthorpe: No can do, Buns. I am too busy reading about true romance, honor and chivalry. Expanding my vocabulary too. Becoming more of a Fabio. All for you, babydoll.

Mexican Vanilla: Next stop: Clown Town!!!

Fairytale Romance Soundz: The Wedding Present - You Jane

“The reader is someone with an attention span of about 30 seconds.”

(William Zinsser, On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction)

Bunbuns: I read one and a half line in this book and I think I am going to talk to Clumsie the Panda now, Daddy.

Hubert Crackanthorpe: Sure, Buns. You were reading for almost 6 seconds. Rest your eyes a bit.

Bunbuns: True, Daddy. They hurt. Much like from looking at ugly men.

Hubert Crackanthorpe: I know. You have your own fight against windmills going on. Life's a bitch.

Bunbuns: I have no idea what you're saying, Daddy. But I think Clumsie has crabs *stares at his crotch*

Hubert Crackanthorpe: There goes breeding season.

Incidental Music: Los Campesinos! - We Are All Accelerated Readers

Bunsified Pose: The Sages by Ckey Poses

"This feels personal, but I don’t know why."

Location: The Unicorn Lodge

One Can Dream: Bolt Thrower - For Victory

Big thanks to you, darling Peach, for officially launching my coke-addled descent into divahood. Stardom clearly awaits — the shades say it all. Also grateful to the endlessly patient Bunbuns & Kali , who already promised to visit me in rehab, glaring at me over organic grapes and poor life choices.

Location: Kinky Event

Torn blue jeans a foolish grin: Sonic Youth - Star Power Encore: Big Black - The Model (Kraftwerk cover)

"You know the drill

You might think I might know

You know I always will"

(New Wet Kojak, 'Go4theoverkill')

The Rules of the Game: New Wet Kojak - Go4theoverkill

Read all about my photo contest, play by the rules, and get lucky

PS: thank you, elise mersereau and H A Ð Σ S .:ƇORAƵ♥Ɲ:.

, for helping me locate the tattoo. That was quite the customer service, running along with you two 😉

"Turning your childhood nightmares and adult traumas into balloon animals since 1966"

Location: The Unicorn Lodge

Scraping my knuckles 'cross a concrete floor: Hunting Lodge - 8-Ball

(aka 'Never Give Up (Unless you have 1 fps)')

"Beach ball

Volleyball

Naked girls and naked boys

Do the dance down on the beach

Smoking dope, short shorts

Cigarette (Wiener dog)

Getting high in the morning

Buying things off the internet

Sports

Sports

Sports

Sports

Getting high in the morning

Not answering calls

Volleyball

Beach ball

Surfboard, baseballs

Sports

Sports

Sports

Sports

Sports

Sports

Spuhhh-sports, sports"

(Viagra Boys, 'Sports')

Personal Work-Out Theme: Viagra Boys - Sports

Read all about my photo contest, be competitive, win some bucks, treat yourself to a gut-bursting burger and work those avi sliders

Break a leg. Ho ho ho!

Location: Luanes World - Le Monde Perdu

Red lightning: Mog Stunt Team - King of the Retards

(aka "Doodling and scrolling through Ms Breeze "Bunbuns" Pawprints' phone")

“My advice is, never do today what you can do tomorrow.'

(Hubert Crackanthorpe, twisting the words of Mr Charles Dickens)

Smoke Break Anthem: Superchunk - Slack Motherfucker

Nothing but frost, a gentle heartbeat, warm hands, fire in the veins, and true romance

Location: Snowdrops

Shrink myself just like a Tom Thumb: Kurt Vile - Baby's Arms

(aka 'Norm and Cliff, You are Dearly Missed")

“Here’s to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.”

(F. Scott Fitzgerald)

Hubert Crackanthorpe: So I have this creative writing assignment for my first year students: write me the shortest possible tall tale in which you present yourself. Give me your bullshit and still show me who you are.

Mexican Vanilla: All you'd get from me would be 'I am a God.'

Hubert Crackanthorpe: Well... that's a good start

Hubert Crackanthorpe: But I want more. So am telling you to add this: 'in slippers'. Then take it from there: 'I am a god in slippers' Surely you can elaborate on that uniqueness?

Mexican Vanilla: 'I am a God in slippers, fueled by hot cheetos ready to unleash a supersoaker waterhose of sugar free red bull energy drink on my foes!'

Hubert Crackanthorpe: See? I knew you had it in you!

Mexican Vanilla: kk, Favorite Uncle Hubie! I'm gonna go heat up a tortilla with butter

Hubert Crackanthorpe: Even better. Work THAT into the assignment. Then we have: 'I am a God in slippers, fueled by hot cheetos ready to unleash a supersoaker waterhose of sugar free red bull energy drink on my foes! But first I'm gonna go heat up a tortilla with butter."

Hubert Crackanthorpe: And you're all set, lil Ms Pulitzer. I'll drink to that.

A Pint for Your Thoughts: Cosmic Psychos - Nice Day To Go To The Pub

(aka "Thanks, William Faulkner and Jean de La Fontaine!")

“When nature calls, a man’s gotta have zero stage fright”

Location: The Unicorn Lodge

I wanna be a horse full of fire that will never train: Sparklehorse - Pig.

"Saw you in a mag, kissing a man

Saw you in a mag, kissing a man

Smoking a fag, kissing a man

Saw you with a man, kissing the man, yeah!"

(Wire, '12XU')

Kiss Off: Wire - 12XU

Read all about my photo contest, be your own art punk, and I will 12XU

“Follow the light before I bite someone after morning prayers”

(Psalm 119:105, severely paraphrased)

Location: Sojourn Winter

No one lives to tell: God Bullies - King of Sling

"Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most."

('Ozzy Osbourne' and backdrop by McFarlane Toys)

"Even nightmares need good tailoring"

Never quite enough to fill your empty heart: Metz - Eraser

(aka 'Factory Cocktail Hour')

"The dignity of labor depends not on what you do, but how you do it."

(Edwin Osgood Grover)

Work Song: Test Dept.- Fuckhead

Location: The Storage

Introducing Kali, the girl who orders food EVERY time we start talking...

Kali Wicken: It's our thing. :P

Kali Wicken: You make me hungry, Mr Hubert

Come & Get It Tune: Nashville Pussy - Fried Chicken and Coffee

(aka 'In Vino Vacuitas')

"I don't think I have written a poem when I was completely sober. But I have written a few good ones or a few bad ones under the hammer of a black hangover when I didn't know whether another drink or a blade would be the best thing."

(Charles Bukowski)

No Women, One Song: Motörhead – The Hammer

Location: Elysion

"Dancing is poetry with arms and legs."

(Charles Baudelaire)

Location: Satyr

Move/Don't Move: Dead Kennedys - Too Drunk To Fuck

"Slinging gravel in parking lots and looking tough on the hood

A girl as plain as a primer coat leaves nothing misunderstood"

(Drive-By Truckers, Primer Coat)

"Too much has been forgotten in the name of memory."

(Don DeLillo, Americana)

Ode to the US of Us All

(with true love, and a raised eyebrow)

America, you strange and shiny jukebox,

spinning jazz at midnight and sitcoms at dawn.

You gave us Chaplin’s wobble and Bugs Bunny’s sass,

a thousand cowboys riding into sunsets that never asked why.

You are jukebox prophets and rock 'n' roll saints,

blue jeans and B-movies,

a land where even heartbreak comes with a soundtrack.

We know your myths —

the rebel with a cause, the dream just out of reach,

the diner where everyone’s welcome but only for a scene.

You sell nostalgia like soda pop, and somehow, we buy it every time.

You gave the world P.T. Barnum’s glittering hustle,

Buffalo Bill’s choreographed wild,

and taught us that sometimes, the show is the story —

and the story’s too good to fact-check.

You are brash, loud, overexposed —

and yet, impossibly alive.

In your chaos, you made room for soul and punk,

for Mickey Mouse and Miles Davis,

for slapstick and protest,

for fantasy and truth, sometimes in the same frame.

And so, we watch. We hum along.

Loving you not because you’re perfect —

but because somehow, through all the static and sequins,

you remind us how to dream louder.

(A collage by Hubert Crackanthorpe)

Location: Cherishville - Summer

Colors, Hues & Tones: Drive-By Truckers

- Primer Coat

Read all about my photo contest, win some bucks, retire to that cabin in the woods and write your Great American Novel.

"A toast before it cools"

"Your hair told me to grab ahold and pull it to the ground"

I atе a beautiful venus flytrap: Cherubs - Baby Huey

(aka "Manimal in Distress")

Mr Alpha: Hello?

Hubert Crackanthorpe: hello

Mr Alpha: So you going to fill me in on why you always stand by my side?

Hubert Crackanthorpe: Weird...I considered the same question. Vantage point huh?

Mr Alpha: You legit walk up to stand next to me

Hubert Crackanthorpe: Really? You feel targeted?

Hubert Crackanthorpe: Is it that 'two guys sharing the restroom' feeling?

Challenged Testosterone Tune: Misfits - Where Eagles Dare

"They get up early, because they have so much to do, and go to bed early, because they have so little to think about."

(Oscar Wilde plagiarizing cat thoughts)

Location: Soul2Soul River

Fiction: Queens of the Stone Age - You Think I Ain't Worth A Dollar, But I Feel Like A Millionaire

Read all about my photo contest and win some bucks for that big breast deformer you always wanted.

(aka "Taxi Driver vs. Bunbuns")

Hubert Crackanthorpe: "Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the cunts, the dogs, the filth, the shit. Here is a man who stood up! Here is..." *gets ready to add a personal twist to his Travis Bickle routine*

Bunbuns: "Daddy! That bunny on the side of your head looks soooo cute. Can I kiss it? Can I? Please?? PWETTTY PLEASE?" *bounces up and down in a dazzling display of waifu physics*

Hubert Crackanthopre: "Way to go, Buns. I was in full 'Taxi Driver' mode here. In the zone. But sure. Go ahead. Kiss me then. Come stomp on a man's heroic moment with your little pedicured feet."

(Disclaimer: The actual Hubert beard was not harmed during the taking of this picture)

Vigilante Vibe: Napalm Death - Scum

Pose: Quick Shave? by Animosity

This is how every great love story starts.

See his cunning slink : Siouxsie and The Banshees - Candyman

(aka 'Goodbye, Mr Osbourne', aka 'Curse of the Labubu')

Back in the 1990s I ran security for some metal festivals in Belgium. I despised most 'stars' for their terrible ego tripping backstage (yes you, Glenn Danzig). However, I also had the pleasure to sit down briefly with two unexpectedly quiet and surprisingly soft-spoken gentlemen: Lemmy from Motörhead and Mr Ozzy Osbourne. Together now... somewhere out there.

This one is for you, Ozzy... Prince of Darkness, King of Crazy, forever over the mountains of madness.

You bit the head off normal and made mayhem a masterpiece.

A special thanks to Moon Amore for the Collector Girl Bikini. Hail to you & your customer service, darling PsyQueen

In perpetuum, frater, ave atque vale: Black Sabbath - Never Say Die

“Supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance by looking truly spiffy.”

(Hubert Crackanthorpe after Sun Tzu's "The Art of War")

Thanks for that truly spiffy tattoo, little sis Emo 'Amy' Biedermann. Yours truly, big bro & Personal Jesus

Invictus: Part Chimp - War Machine