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Two Cows
Democrat:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You vote people into office that put a tax on
your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money
to pay the tax.
The people you voted for then take the tax money,
buy a cow and give it to your neighbor.
You feel righteous.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.
Socialist:
You have two cows. The government takes one and
gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
Republican:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.
So?
Communist:
You have two cows. The government seizes both
and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
Capitalism, American Style:
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull,
and build a herd of cows.
Democracy, American Style:
You have two cows. The government taxes you
to the point you have to sell both to support a
man in a foreign country who has only one cow,
which was a gift from your government.
Bureaucracy, American Style:
You have two cows. The government takes them
both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you
for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.
American Corporation:
You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back
to yourself and do an IPO on the second one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk
of four cows. You are surprised when one cow
drops dead. You spin an announcement to the
analysts stating you have downsized and are
reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.
French Corporation:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you
want three cows.
You go to lunch.
Life is good.
Japanese Corporation:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary
cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
German Corporation:
You have two cows. You engineer them so they
are all blond, drink lots of beer,
give excellent quality milk, and run
a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation
per year.
Italian Corporation:
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
Russian Corporation:
You have two cows. You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many
cows you really have.
Taliban Corporation:
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's
private parts. Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew
them up while they were in the hospital.
Florida Politics:
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one best,
vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell
you which is the best-looking one.
Check out Quirky Cow products here!
This is located just off of south stream road in Bennington Vermont
This is my first attempt at hdr. I think it came out pretty good for a novice photographer
Wow I am so amazed this picture made it to the most interestingness top 10 yesterday! Thank you
Please don't use this image on websites, blogs or other media without my explicit permission. If you wish to use this image, please, contact me through flickrmail or at vicenc.feliu@gmail.com. © All rights reserved...
Leg(io) VIIII(nona) Hisp(ana)
These photos are from my son's flickr site at outonalimb72. Pep Enric is carrying his sword and sporting his Legio VIIII Hispana suit from CafePress' Legio VIIII.
The Ninth Legion was levied by Julius Caesar and was present during the Gallic War this Legion earned its name during the campaign against the Cantabrians in Iberia Citerior for distinction in fighting.
And with apologies to Legionary Titus Pullo:
"Run and hide
Run and hide
The Ninth is coming
And your men are all dead!"
Early morning sunbeams streaming onto a meadow; Holliecroft Farm, Washington, Connecticut.
If you really like this image, it is available as a framed print.
© Kreations by Kerri ~ All Rights Reserved
Find me and follow along:
My blog: thesunriseofmylife.blogspot.com/
On Twitter - twitter.com/KerriFar
On Instagram - instagram.com/kerrifar
On SU - www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/KerriFar
On Google +: plus.google.com/117412501164951393563/posts
On FB: www.facebook.com/ALittlePieceOfMeKreationsByKerri
On Cafe Press: www.cafepress.com/kerrif
Patricio watches over us as AK photographs me drawing her in my advance copy unlined JKPP blank journal marking the upcoming 20,000 portrait milestone, while at Victoriana to pick up some trim.
absolutely 100% pure frost on my windows this morning. i have no clue how they got that way, but the glass itself is smooth, and not etched or patterned in any way.
Colours may run
******************
Please support ToastedGhost
Please take a look at
www.cafepress.com/toastedghost
Commission the Ghost to transform you
See the Ghost on youtube
Jack's long lost brother. A bit of a black sheep in the family.
Seriously this is my new character based on a hybrid of various contemporary pirate creations. The wig, beard and bandanna "Jack Sparrow". My jacket is Barbosa's Jacket. A hat which will be a bi-fornicated tricorn. and so on ...
See this pic for more of the costume
www.flickr.com/photos/framedview/2086977095/
Thanks to
ro-stock.deviantart.com/gallery/
for the frame
The falconer holds his Peregrine Falcon aloft to flap its wings and warm the muscles of its wings ready for flight.
www.cafepress.co.uk/rosemariesw_design_photo_gifts/110157...
Really shows the contrast between the white-on-white flats' laundry & the orange light through the dust haze outside.
THANK YOU to all the people who are complimenting this.
Eek! Up to 13,139 views on 23rd October. <swoons>
Please have a look around some of the Sets & Collections for subjects you might like (Tasmania, Pyrmont, other Sydney Scenes, Thirlmere Railway Museum, World War II & family photos, cute animals, scenes from hospital, etc, etc.)
NB: If you're logged in, there should be an "Order Prints" button above all my images, for them that are asking :)
Otherwise, if you'd like me to get royalties (<$1) see www.cafepress.com/sketchesbymez for possibilities.
And, if you'd like a picturebook/magazine collection of photos, you can order at Strange Light: Photos from the Great Australian Dust Storm (also no commission).
Just fooling around.
Not my best but its just for laughs
Title anyone?
@x
PS
If there are any designs here on my stream that you would like on T-shirts or posters drop us a line.Please see link below for designs
Please support ToastedGhost
Please take a look at
with three daughters i must have a voice and have strong passions & opinions about making this world better! this to me is the truth. my three girls will have to pay the price of his decisions. it makes me sad :o( i have to do my best as a mother and my friends as well in making the changes possible that we can and raising our children to make the difference!
i would like to thank smalldogs for creating these awesome shirts! a strong woman who is not scared to share her opinion and stand up for what she believes in! my wardrobe thanks you ;o)
My first attempt at an animal metaphor
What has this little mouse lost?
Does an angel know?
Please support ToastedGhost
Please take a look at
www.cafepress.com/toastedghost/2962717
Arrrrrrrrrgh! I changing
HELP!!!
I am becoming a capitalist
Well even surrealists have to eat!
@x
Another note I must give a big nod to
www.flickr.com/photos/petitechose/
Not that I have borrowed ideas but in the fact that her work as surely sub-conciously influenced me.
Coyote mousing at Fermilab. Batavia, Illinois.
To answer some of the questions below, yes I photoshopped this. It is one coyote shot in rapid fire. I took five shots and merged them. The background is a snow covered hill in shadow. I had to make adjustments to each of the five photos to match the brightness and saturation. I was using spot metering and the jumping coyote must have went in and out of the center point drastically affecting the exposure. But I got them fairly close. I "healed" the borders and cloned out some plants in the background to get rid of a repeating look. Also, the horizon (or my camera) was on an angle so I had to rotate the images and then crop to rectangles to make one continuous, level line.
On black
My stocklist
I made a coyote calendar. Check it out at: www.cafepress.com/hardrain1
Summer, hot, warm, and rainy day here in Florence, Italy
I was arrived in my appartment and started to rain, some minutes ago... A beautiful rain moment.
"and it's hard to hold a candle in the cold november rain.." and we still are in August...
Hey folks!
You can buy merchandise of my photographs from my Photostream in my On line store at www.cafepress.com/liberoliber
Click on the banner!
Please check it out.. and help me to keep my passion for photography on..
You can see this picture at www.jpgmag.com/photos/6354 and vote for it...
Find your own unique style for a Summer on-the-go with sexy Victoria posing in front of the nicest Beach Hut on the whole beach! www.cafepress.com/myvirtuallady
( "And this I believe: that the free, exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in all the world. And this I would fight for: the freedom of the mind to take any direction it wishes, undirected. And this I must fight against: any idea, religion, or government which limits or destroys the individual. " - John Steinbeck, East of Eden
from: Protest series: Washington, DC: 12 April 2003 - a. golden, eyewash design, c. 2008
After years of freelance work to "pay the bills", I've decided to go back to university. That's right! I'm going for a MPS in Art Therapy. I'm shooting for Pratt Institute. For more information on the program: www.pratt.edu/creative_arts_therapy
My concentration will be on children. More specifically, those most in need. Those who've suffered the most terribly ---> in other words, the socio & economically disadvantaged, those sexually, emotionally and/or physically abused, the neglected & the abandoned children, as well as children diagnosed with Autism.
Let me know what you think --->
Any constructive criticism is also most welcome! I'm trying to earn my Master's in Art Therapy. BUT, I MUST FIRST take 19 additional undergraduate courses which will qualify my eligibility to apply. I WILL get in!
I firmly believe that together we CAN make a difference.
Thanks, in advance!
Yep, that's my cool 365 mug. It's like my little prize for completing the project.
If anyone is interested in the mug and shirt, it's available here.
Now the men's T-shirts are available in the same shop.
Everytime I'm going to my job in the Internet point, I meet this fantastic man that is always reading a book sitted down in front of a Pub here in Florence...
His very simpatic and wise... And he reminds me Gandalf the Grey...Thank you man of the Street ( he didn't want to say his name...)
Hey folks!
You can buy merchandise of my photographs from my Photostream in my On line store at www.cafepress.com/liberoliber
Click on the banner!
Please check it out.. and help me to keep my passion for photography on..
I played boggle with the boyfriend and an awesome couple today after work. It was a blast, we had pizza, watched The Office (the show), and played boggle. And i won!
Also, I know that some of you liked my camera shirt from the below picture, so here is the link to it :)
P.S. Secret # 15 When I was younger I always used to play boggle with my grandpa. He used to beat me all the time. But now, I beat him :D
This image is published in Issue 13 of Lightleaks Magazine! Order your copy today: http://www.lightleaks.org/current_issue.html
Buy note cards with this image: www.cafepress.com/sevensixdesigns.92290750
Is this the shot from the animation that y'all wanted me to add to Dora's Store?
Done!
Any profit will go toward helping the wild coons critters around the Marshside Menagerie. (There hasn't been any profit yet, but it has made enough to keep the store open. Thank you to everyone who has purchased something.)
Go to www.cafepress.com/dorashop/ to buy Dorable merchandise.
/Jar of hearts? seeing as that's a popular song right now... :P
OH gosh, what is this I don't even...
It hurts my eyes. I don't know if you'll like it, I don't know if I like it, I don't know.
I was originally gonna cut the hearts out realistically,... ya know, flesh and stuff :P
But my boyfriend said "err...that's kinda self-harmy.." So I went the other way and made it unrealistically bright and cartoony, Hah.
I'll deal...
I'm on A BOAT and on Facebook
I'm riding on a dolphin, doing flips and sh!t, and I'm Tumbling
I make T-Shirts, like a BOSS....then throw them on the ground...
Acrylique sur toile
Acrylic on canvas
For more informations, visit my website www.pinceau-magique.com
Make me a peek-a-boo on my Blog, pinceau-magique.over-blog.com/
this will make me very happy !
My canvases are for sale on :
- eBay : stores.ebay.fr/pinceau-magique
- Etsy : www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5885215
See also my shop « Manon Tom & co » on www.cafepress.com/cocodesign
Prints of this painting are available at www.artistrising.com/galleries/EllieTaylorArtist and available on t-shirts, pillows, mugs, and more at www.cafepress.com/EllieTaylorArtist
This digital painting was created on my Samsung Galaxy Note Pro 12.2 tablet using the ArtRage Android app.