April 5, 2020 Subverted Selfie Project Post
April 5, 2020: I’ve long been critical of how I look. For years I #weighed over 250 pounds, and in 2017/18 I was the #heaviest I’d ever been at almost 270 pounds. I look at photos of me at that time and I get physically #ill. I want to untag myself from those photos because of how awful I looked - any heavier and you could have rolled me down a hill.
Today, I’m still critical of myself at around 220 pounds, when in February I was down to 215. I posted the other day about how I felt like a #failure again because it was going up.
I even asked two friends last night how could anyone ever be head over heals for me?
And there was my mistake.
Why wouldn’t anyone be head over heals for me?
I’m a genuinely good man who cares deeply for the people in his life. I have a great sense of humour, and even if I haven’t always been happy with my body I know I have an attractive face. I have beautiful blue eyes. And I have lost 50 pounds. And if I’ve done that then I can admit I can lose another 40. I can be kind to myself and be gentle with myself about how I look today because I know I’ve come so far, and I know others have seen that in me too. Ultimately it’s not that I didn’t look good before it’s that I didn’t live life with attention to the self-care and self-love I so desperately needed but had no idea how to give myself. Ultimately I’ll look better because it’s what I #desire, it’s the life that I want. I’ll look good because I love myself and give myself permission to make responsible choices about what I eat and how I exercise. I’ll do what feels good for me by walking in #nature more and not worrying as much about going to the gym because I hate that. No, I’ll be doing it for me, and not for someone else. Because ultimately I have to shift the language I use to describe the wonderful person I am.
So here’s a photo of me today with all my #flaws and #imperfections. I’m not ashamed of who I am.
It’s been 6 days since my last emotional #breakdown. And this #photo is a part of my subverted selfie project of 2020, photo 96/366.
This photo was originally posted on Instagram.
#selfies #SubvertedSelfies #2020Selfies #livingmybestlife #pansexual #bodyneutrality #selflove #growth #iweigh @i_weigh #iamunfiltered
April 5, 2020 Subverted Selfie Project Post
April 5, 2020: I’ve long been critical of how I look. For years I #weighed over 250 pounds, and in 2017/18 I was the #heaviest I’d ever been at almost 270 pounds. I look at photos of me at that time and I get physically #ill. I want to untag myself from those photos because of how awful I looked - any heavier and you could have rolled me down a hill.
Today, I’m still critical of myself at around 220 pounds, when in February I was down to 215. I posted the other day about how I felt like a #failure again because it was going up.
I even asked two friends last night how could anyone ever be head over heals for me?
And there was my mistake.
Why wouldn’t anyone be head over heals for me?
I’m a genuinely good man who cares deeply for the people in his life. I have a great sense of humour, and even if I haven’t always been happy with my body I know I have an attractive face. I have beautiful blue eyes. And I have lost 50 pounds. And if I’ve done that then I can admit I can lose another 40. I can be kind to myself and be gentle with myself about how I look today because I know I’ve come so far, and I know others have seen that in me too. Ultimately it’s not that I didn’t look good before it’s that I didn’t live life with attention to the self-care and self-love I so desperately needed but had no idea how to give myself. Ultimately I’ll look better because it’s what I #desire, it’s the life that I want. I’ll look good because I love myself and give myself permission to make responsible choices about what I eat and how I exercise. I’ll do what feels good for me by walking in #nature more and not worrying as much about going to the gym because I hate that. No, I’ll be doing it for me, and not for someone else. Because ultimately I have to shift the language I use to describe the wonderful person I am.
So here’s a photo of me today with all my #flaws and #imperfections. I’m not ashamed of who I am.
It’s been 6 days since my last emotional #breakdown. And this #photo is a part of my subverted selfie project of 2020, photo 96/366.
This photo was originally posted on Instagram.
#selfies #SubvertedSelfies #2020Selfies #livingmybestlife #pansexual #bodyneutrality #selflove #growth #iweigh @i_weigh #iamunfiltered