Barbara Boxer lost the election!? NOW WHAT?

I'm strange.

 

Some people are likely raising their hands reading this going, "Yeah, no shit asshole".

 

barbara boxer is one of the many numerous names I call my daughter. Among other names:

 

barbara

barbara brown

Jackson brown

brown allstar

brownie (and she happens to be a brownie girlscout, although I've been calling her this before she even was one. Now it's even more fitting!)

jackson 5

little rock from arkansas (I swear to god I call her this..... a lot... although I'm not quite sure why really? It evolved from many other names as all these names do)

little rock (you know .... in case I'm in a hurry)

bullmichael (long story, but she watches rocky and bullwinkle, and since she was little she's called Bullwinkle .. Bullmichael. So I call her Bullmichael).

babe (vintage dude. Don't fuck with the old school)

babestar

babe-a-lot

allstar

rock (no not the wresler asshole)

rocky (not to be confused with the boxer, not the barbara boxer, i mean the movie boxer. No not the cartoon rocky and bullwinkle, I mean Stalone dude. Wow this is confusing)

rockstar

rock sta-e-a (short A's, Long E pronounced. I've been calling her this a lot lately. It's a version of star that got daddy-fied into a weird language)

the rocking babe (this actually gets ROCKING sung like a song.. .like singing "what a ROCKINNNN' BABE)

femmy, femstar, feminine female (these are popular when I'm calling her for dinner or a chore or something... like this.. " hey femmmy? feminine femaleeeeee. femstar it's time for dinner" ..... 3 names banged out in 1 request!)

feminine allstar

barbie (yes the fucking doll. Bite me. She likes them)

babe store (not a popular one. Although it's climbing the charts)

Chloé (used occasionally. Like when I pick her up from school and she's tagging along ... "Chloé come on". Although usually I say Babe in place of Chloé for the most generic of names. Chloé is rare and not used often unless she's in trouble)

 

There are dozens of others .... seriously. And new names all the time as the new names evolve from the old names. Some names get retired or just evolve into new ones. I have combined over the years likely over 1 hundred names for Chloé.

 

FORBIDDEN:

Clo (if I even call her Clo, she gets mad. The same equivalent mad as I get when she dares call me Dad which she has done occasionally when she was REAL mad at me. I Think she has called me Dad like twice. It was weird man. Sometimes I'll think she says "Dad" and I'll say "Did you just call me Dad??" and she'll laugh and go "haha of course not, I said Daddy!"

 

The photo at hand? Chloe was very sick on Sunday. She spent the entire day throwing up into a bucket. I got her a sick magazine and a sick movie. Some weird shit called Ponyo, like Anime disney crazy movie. My mom always got me sick prizes when I was little, so I do the same for Barbara Boxer. Not the senator who lost the election, the kid in this photo.

 

Oh and that pig? Her name is Pigetta. She has held the permanent stay as toy prized possession #1 since the departure of Piggy 3 years ago. Piggy died. Piggy got lost dude. I think . Not entirely sure. Pigetta is the replacement, the little sister or some shit. Of course I was told the other day I am Pigetta's dad. And Barbara Boxer is the mommy. I cleared that shit up real quick with Barbara Boxer and told her I was the fucking pigs grandfather.

 

So I conclude this entire passage with this message to you:

I'm the grandfather of a stuffed pig

Done