365 Days ~ Day 132. 30 secrets in 30 days. Oh boy.

Secret #1 :

I'm on meds.

lol

I take one pill every night for three different things.

1. Depression.

I've been on anti-depressants when I was younger.(When my parents were divorcing, I was 14-ish)

We think this round is postpartum depression which can last up to 2 years. I was a very happy pregnant lady, but as soon as she was born, I was a mess. Crying ALL the time for no reason whatsoever. Too bad it took me 9 months to realize I should probably take something for it.

2. Panic Attacks.

And when I have one, it's bad. My husband has to help me breathe or else I'll pass out. These also seem to come on at times for no real reason and they're incredibly frustrating. When I feel one coming on I've had to learn to focus on one single thing and breathe, breathe, BREATHE! And then sometimes that just makes it worse because I'm panicking over panicking. My doctor told me I worry too much. I'm totally not arguing that. I do.

3. Sleep.

If I don't have something to help me go to sleep, I will lay there for hours upon hours worrying about everything. It's nothing new... I've done this since I was little. I remember when I was 7 ... I kissed my best guy friend at nap time and thought I got pregnant. I went to bed that night and worried about it forever! I finally worried myself to the point that I threw up and I was crying uncontrollably. I finally told my mom why I was so worried... because I was pregnant. She laughed at me... and ladies and gentlemen that's how I found out about the birds and the bees.

Done