Copernicus - the hideous truth.

This is reloaded, by request, by furnishing instrument and by accident, as part of Jarl van Hoother's continuing series, concerning itself, as it does, with the study, deconstruction and reinterpretation of public statuary, with particular reference to Acker's Third Law Of Unforeseen Outcome, and its corollary - although unintentionally disproven syllogistically ab initio - The Intrepid Entropic Anthropy To Cause And Effect, But Not Necessarily In That Order pt. 17 b. II(a) revised.

 

This statue is supposed to represent Copernicus, and it shows him as as a handsome youth, with flowing hair and robes, taking a tentative, but firm heroic stride forward in his cowboy boots. He holds his heliocentric model proudly, and strikes it as if it were an instrument, as if he played on it the music of the spheres. His eyes are downcast, and his gaze seems relaxed, yet concentrated on the armillary.

 

The plinth on which he is raised, but from which he is strangely disconnected, is decorated with a quadruplicated globe motif, to which gilded vegetative designs are attached. Copernicus himself is shown perched on his book of mathematical proofs, which serves to remove, distance and sanitise him from any earthly connection whatsoever.

Copernicus seems confident and easy in the knowledge that he has revolutionised the history of science.

 

Or Is He???

 

- - - PLEASE REFER TO THE ABOVE IMAGE - - -

 

On an open - and closer - inspection, Copernicus is quite patently a bedraggled imbecile, with a blank and vacant look about him. Unkempt and unshorn, he wanders perilously close to the edge of his plinth.

While shown striding forward, Copernicus' weight is quite obviously on his back foot, and his forward step merely a pose, with no conviction or intent at a forward movement. In fact it is a cowardly stance, with a quivering posture, along with a concertina-type sock effect. His rear, or right leg also shows a suspicious bellows-like ankle inflation. This is typical of an uncourageous morbid flatulence, well known at the time, and characteristically kept within the hose.

 

His shabby oufit belongs to a man more used to begging and rooting in bins, than someone sorting out the mechanics of the Solar System. No collar - and no tie! And a lousy grandad vest, with buttons missing. What a getup! Hardly the uniform of a chap you'd see down at the Large Hadron Collider.

 

His hands also betray an unconvincing grasp on his subject - Copernicus' left hand is poised to fling away the armillary, just as soon as he untangles his right ring finger, which is caught in the mechanism. When he finally extricates that finger from the orbit of Saturn, his left hand will fire that toy into the nearest ditch.

His ascetic monkish upbringing will not allow the pain of the trapped finger to show on his face - or will it..... look again at that left eyebrow, the downturned corner of the mouth.... a slight petulance there? Perhaps even disgruntled annoyance?

 

The dead duck that Copernicus carries over his right shoulder, is a symbol of his failed unworkable heliocentric model of the solar system. A "dead duck" is common parlance for, and is seen to be symbolic of, a useless failure, and an unfeasible ideology. The "sun-centered" planetary system of Copernicus never took off, despite the enthusiastic backing of the Pope, and flew like a "dead duck", even with all the weight of the Catholic Church dragging it up, and the light cast on it by the Inquisition.

On further looking, Copernicus has a look of shame about him, and seems to be trying to hide or cast away the humiliating mechanism, which his face clearly shows has now become a tedious embarrassment.

 

A further clue to the truth is shown in the plinth decoration, stressing the earth and its vegetation (four times!) as the fundament, centre, axis and fulcrum of the system. The leafy growth seems to creep closer to Copernicus' book of nonsense, and will soon swallow it.

 

The book itself, seen by some misguided idiots (Brahe, Kepler, Newton, Einstein etc.) as evidence of a thread of common sense in humanity, from Ptolemy to the Egyptians through the Greeks, down through the Romans, Nubians, Goths, Huns, Visigoths, Aztecs, Incas, Thracians, Gauls, Icenii, Persians, Germanic tribes, Angles, Jutes, Saxons, Celts, Britons, Picts, Nova Scotians, Lobster Fishermen, Legion Of Mary, Girls From Waterford, Norwegians, FAI etc. - that book IS placed under the feet of Copernicus - is he wiping his feet on it? Is he cleaning his elegant boots on the filthy disgraceful tome of his "sun-centred" nonsense?

- You bet he is!

 

What more do we need to see in this representation? What would we see that shows us that Copernicus (if indeed it is him) hated and loathed the nonsensical heretical heliocentric absurdity with which his name will always be tied, and from which he tried in vain to disassociate himself while alive, and who, even in stone, has the shape and figure of a pathetic sham, still trying, like some old Buster Keaton figure, to dump something that is just going to stick like glue, forever.

 

The final clue and proof, as if further proof were needed, is shown in the gold coloured emblem under Copernicus. This clearly shows God himself revealing the fact that the earth is a flat object, held up on its wings by a Gryphon like creature, none other than Satan in fact. The earth is supported on the resilient shoulders of The Devil himself, he holds it up, he always did and he always will, and none of your atomic geometric physsics hydro-helium nonsense.

 

Look again at Copernicus and see the shame, the humiliation, the petulance, the embarrassment, the pain.... and yes, the misery of that haircut.

Done