Nancy Johnson September 19, 1959 - April 25, 2022
This is by far the hardest thing I've ever done. I took this photo of Nancy back in November of 1979. We had been dating a couple of months and were out for the day, just enjoying each other's company. It was a unusually mild November Sunday afternoon, with a quiet breeze and a perfect soft sunlight. The day found us at Kankakee River state park, around Schneider, IN. I had taken the camera out of the van and was standing there, wondering what to shoot. I turned around and found Nancy deep in thought. I like to think that she was thinking the same thing I was, that we had found the one we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with. She had no idea that her photo was being taken, and I didn't even tell her after the fact. In my mind, this is the best photograph that I have ever taken in my life, thanks to the subject. That day was the kind of day when you fall in love. Our love lasted over forty years, but now she's gone. After a hellacious two weeks in the hospital due to an extremely severe reaction to chemotherapy, she passed away on April 25, a Monday evening. Nancy was quite different in character make-up from me, but we were made for each other - there was never any doubt of that. She was very shy, but once she got to know you, you would fall victim to her devious sense of humor and sharp wit. She never really thought much of herself and was always a little fearful to try something new, but once she tried anything, she became an expert at it. I taught her how to play chess, then could never beat her. I taught her how to play tennis, and again, she was more than a match for me. I was so proud of her, because she could do anything she put her mind to. God sent her into my life back in September of 1979, when I was just floundering around with no path to follow, She saved me and unknowingly gave my life direction. She was the most loyal friend you could have, and you could depend on her to be there at any time, in any situation. Despite whatever was going on, she was always willing to go along on our railfan trips, and would work on crossword puzzles while we waited for a train. I will always remember spending a quiet comfortable afternoon or evening alongside the tracks while enjoying the breeze and listening to the red-wing blackbirds sing to us in the golden light of Wisconsin. Nancy will never know how many people miss her here on earth, and even I was a little surprised by the large response to her death. But that's how she was, never putting herself first or even thinking about herself first. She did her best to take care of me and never ever once disappointed me. I think we might have considered it a little competition to see who could do more for the other, and I think she won, though I tried hard and came in a close second. I hope you can understand why I haven't posted anything since mid-April, when this disaster all began. I am totally lost and in shock. They say that no one who has never been through the loss of a dearly loved spouse can understand it, and they're right. I never knew there could be such terrible unending pain. I don't know if I'll ever return to Flickr, but my Psychologist says that I need to reconnect to my life. Right now, there is no joy in photography or Flickr for me, but she says that makes reconnecting even more important. So, I'm going to give it a try, though it feels like I'm a totally different person and don't know how to do this. Thanks for understanding this long post. I appreciate all the prayers and well wishes. If you love someone, hold them close and let them know. A dear friend of mine said it wouldn't hurt so much if it hadn't been so special. Truth, pure truth. Thanks, everyone.
Nancy Johnson September 19, 1959 - April 25, 2022
This is by far the hardest thing I've ever done. I took this photo of Nancy back in November of 1979. We had been dating a couple of months and were out for the day, just enjoying each other's company. It was a unusually mild November Sunday afternoon, with a quiet breeze and a perfect soft sunlight. The day found us at Kankakee River state park, around Schneider, IN. I had taken the camera out of the van and was standing there, wondering what to shoot. I turned around and found Nancy deep in thought. I like to think that she was thinking the same thing I was, that we had found the one we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with. She had no idea that her photo was being taken, and I didn't even tell her after the fact. In my mind, this is the best photograph that I have ever taken in my life, thanks to the subject. That day was the kind of day when you fall in love. Our love lasted over forty years, but now she's gone. After a hellacious two weeks in the hospital due to an extremely severe reaction to chemotherapy, she passed away on April 25, a Monday evening. Nancy was quite different in character make-up from me, but we were made for each other - there was never any doubt of that. She was very shy, but once she got to know you, you would fall victim to her devious sense of humor and sharp wit. She never really thought much of herself and was always a little fearful to try something new, but once she tried anything, she became an expert at it. I taught her how to play chess, then could never beat her. I taught her how to play tennis, and again, she was more than a match for me. I was so proud of her, because she could do anything she put her mind to. God sent her into my life back in September of 1979, when I was just floundering around with no path to follow, She saved me and unknowingly gave my life direction. She was the most loyal friend you could have, and you could depend on her to be there at any time, in any situation. Despite whatever was going on, she was always willing to go along on our railfan trips, and would work on crossword puzzles while we waited for a train. I will always remember spending a quiet comfortable afternoon or evening alongside the tracks while enjoying the breeze and listening to the red-wing blackbirds sing to us in the golden light of Wisconsin. Nancy will never know how many people miss her here on earth, and even I was a little surprised by the large response to her death. But that's how she was, never putting herself first or even thinking about herself first. She did her best to take care of me and never ever once disappointed me. I think we might have considered it a little competition to see who could do more for the other, and I think she won, though I tried hard and came in a close second. I hope you can understand why I haven't posted anything since mid-April, when this disaster all began. I am totally lost and in shock. They say that no one who has never been through the loss of a dearly loved spouse can understand it, and they're right. I never knew there could be such terrible unending pain. I don't know if I'll ever return to Flickr, but my Psychologist says that I need to reconnect to my life. Right now, there is no joy in photography or Flickr for me, but she says that makes reconnecting even more important. So, I'm going to give it a try, though it feels like I'm a totally different person and don't know how to do this. Thanks for understanding this long post. I appreciate all the prayers and well wishes. If you love someone, hold them close and let them know. A dear friend of mine said it wouldn't hurt so much if it hadn't been so special. Truth, pure truth. Thanks, everyone.