worst in show

Today, under pressure from the kids, I entered Sesi, our white german shepherd in the annual village dog show. I was reluctant because frankly our dog is a nightmare. She's lovely, especially with children, but just so totally wired I tend to keep her away from other dogs.

 

So, I struggled into the ring with Sesi barking and straining on the leash, and was asked to parade her first (I guess so they could get rid of us). The judge was some Crufts winner who was evidently expecting dogs without manky matted hair behind the ears. In front of the crowd, she asked me to walk around the ring. I pulled this off, just about, but when I came back she asked me to prance.

 

'Pardon me?'

 

'Prance,' she said again. Only this time it sounded like an order.

 

At this point I felt a bit dizzy. I didn't want to let the kids down by refusing to do as I was told, but couldn't quite bring myself to do it. I did a half-hearted little skip and then stopped, which just made me look as if I'd hurt myself or something.

 

Anyway, we didn't win, or earn a certificate or anything at all. In fact, we had to take her home early for howling. But she's our dog, a big part of the family as well as my only work colleague, and didn't kill anyone. For this reason, I thought I would show her off here.

Done