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~ Beans and Nothingness (Mack Racks His Brains)

god and the buddhas

are all sitting at the bar

inside Mack’s Café Américain,

an upscale nightclub and gambling den,

in casamackblanca,

baja california sur,

mexico

 

god is dressed in a white tuxedo and

black bow tie,

chain-smoking lucky strikes,

eating chips & refried beans,

and sipping a budweiser.

 

the three buddhas

are drinking virgin piña coladas

with little pink umbrellas.

 

when not speaking, god is

part-singing, part-humming, off-key:

“you must remember this,

a kiss is just a kiss,

a sigh is just a sigh,

the fundamental things apply,

as time goes by.”

 

“jesus! i’m tired,” sighs god.

 

“tired?’ ask the buddhas, looking at one another,

“how can god get tired?”

 

“in case you’ve not been observant,”

says god, pointing a smoldering lucky,

“it’s a big universe. i mean,

there’s a lot of stuff in it, you know,

stars, galaxies, black holes, anti-matter …”

 

“you know, you name it and it’s there,”

god adds with a chuckle.

 

“ … and a lot more empty space,”

says the first buddha, timidly.

 

“yeah, seems like there’s a lot more nothing

than there is something out there,”

adds the second, a little unsure of what he had said.

 

“ … being and nothingness, i mean,

it’s perfectly obvious that non-being

always appears with the limits of human expectations,”

says the third buddha.

 

“there you go again with the Sartre stuff,” says god,

“you’re gonna get us all confused.”

 

“hey, i’ve just negated that bowl of bean dip

and i expect that i’ll order some more,” god adds,

while nodding to the waiter at the far end of the bar

who was already bringing god

more bean dip and another can of Budweiser.

 

god pulls the tab and takes a long drink

“ah, beechwood aged, baby, beechwood aged,

now that’s authentic,” says god,

as he fires up another lucky strike.

 

“let us consider the waiter at this bar,”

says the third buddha, “he is just playing at being a waiter;

there is nothing there to surprise us.”

 

“yeah,” says the first buddha, “nothingness is the

internal negation which separates pure existence and identity,

and thus we are subject to playing our lives out

in a similar manner.”

 

“well,” says god, “Sartre had his head up his ass

like all those other left bank writers

who never actually had to work for a living.

just wait until our waiter closes out our bar tab

and we’ll see whether you’re surprised.”

 

the buddhas go silent.

 

“tomorrow,” god continues, “we’re gonna define

ourselves through the social categorization of our

formal identity as steelhead fishermen.”

 

“steelhead?” asks the second buddha.

 

“but we’re in baja california; there aren’t any

steelhead in the Sea of Cortez,” says the second buddha.

 

“talk about failed dreams of completion,”

adds the third buddha.

 

“i was misinformed,” laughs god,

impersonating Bogart

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Uploaded on March 7, 2009
Taken on March 7, 2009