Letting Love in my Heart Again

Me and my shots of webs...but I do find them a bit cathartic somehow. They serve as a good indicator for how I think and feel right now..they have a sense of being tangled and wrapped up yet easy to break through and always have the ability to be seen through even when one is tangled up inside or viewing from behind them. Today I also enjoyed some beautiful morning light that allowed for me to capture many multi-faceted bokeh orbs of varying hues and degrees of light...

 

So I use this opportunity to express how I think and feel, have thought and felt and more importantly how I want to think and feel...It is a bit of a release I suppose. My need to give and receive love has so been tainted by my actual ability of it...Wanting to be loved and adored for more than just what I am perceived as or from the many titles I hold from a life of matrimony and motherhood. Those true signs and deep feelings of love have been so absent for so long that I don't know if I'd recognize it now if it slapped me in the face. But I feel it looming..from a far off distance but not so far away that it is unobtainable...My desire to give it feeds the desire to get it..and my ability to show it fuels its...I am still guarded by past hurts, lost love..and years of my love being neglected...only to be noticed when I have far surpassed the feelings of it...So my sense to seek it elsewhere is only second to the knowing that I will get it...so long as I let it...to open my heart completely...to speak the words freely..to allow it to come back to me..to absorb it in instead of reflecting it back out..to truly know what loving is...only achievable if you are willing and ready to accept it...

Done