{T..he Magic Box Photographie}*
inner resonance * tender nest º tenderness
"For me empowerment is simply the flip side of freedom. A woman who feels, in her mind, heart and body, free enough to live in alignment with her full self is an empowered woman. It has nothing to do with who you are professionally, the power you have over people, how loud you speak, or how ‘in control’ you appear. I know a lot of women who ‘look’ empowered but still don’t feel the courage to be true to themselves, or who simply don’t know who their true self is. Doing the hard work of finding out why you are here, and doing the best to bring that woman forward, that is true empowerment. No one can take that power from you. We are most powerful (and most beautiful too) when we stand in our truth… So if I close my eyes, an empowered woman would be one who makes her choices freely, who honors her heart’s calling, who brings her unique light to the world. I have always loved the idea that humanity is a puzzle, and that a puzzle however full, cannot be complete until that one piece is found. Until each one of us finds our best selves and brings it forth.
Because the superwoman does not exist. The sooner you realize that, the freer you are to just be yourself. And our beauty actually lies in our imperfections (if only we can be brave enough to embrace them)…Many women are also prisoners of how society views them. So allowing yourself to do things that society may not approve of or the people close to you do not see you doing, can be very freeing. You just have to be careful to do them not because you want to prove anything to anyone, but truly for yourself. To feed yourself. And that’s power.
Marriage and motherhood were also significant. Both made me realize the pressure that is put on women, and the difficulty to find yourself when you are trying to cater for everyone else’s needs. Often times it’s a self-imposed pressure too. In many African societies we have created this fantasy of a strong woman, who endures everything, puts her needs last, and handles everything with a smile. That woman is celebrated, held as a model. Even if her community knows she is in pain, she is honored for her stoicism. Not being yourself becomes bravery. So she appears strong, but in reality she is not, she is simply fronting. And I think that is very damaging and dangerous for women.
It really is a journey. I think it’s important to stress that. It doesn’t happen overnight, but over countless little experiences, choices, and it’s a journey that does not really end… When I look back I realize that my most painful experiences have actually been the greatest catalysts for growth. Because grief and adversity take you to that place where you either die or rise, it forces you to look at yourself in the mirror, to look deeply at your life and to decide how you want to move forward. A few years ago I watched my father slowly lose his life to an advanced illness, and that throbbing pain brought me face to face with myself. In the weeks, months that followed, every unresolved issue came forth. Because such grief is an earth-shattering experience, it cracks you open. And it allowed me, over time, to work on myself, to find and uproot whatever else was ailing me, which lead me to a much more empowered life. But it’s a decision that one makes. You have to chose you. And it’s a choice that is always available to us. But I’ve found that challenges wash away the distractions of life and thus create a crossroad. The choice becomes much clearer.
The best way to empower another being is to be empowered yourself. It’s as simple as that. At the end of the day we only are responsible for ourselves, but if we do that well we get to lift up others in the process. When I look at the women who have inspired or touched me, it was those who, by being their full, unapologetic selves, gave me permission to be what I wanted to be. So I aspire to be transparent about who I am, by shaking my own boundaries, this may make another woman say: ‘wait a minute, I too have something I’ve always wanted to do/be’. And to be honest about that journey. Because again, there is no such thing as a picture perfect life."
♀ Ketty Nivyabandi
In lying to others we end up lying to ourselves. We deny the importance of an event, or a person, and thus deprive ourselves of a part of our lives. Or we use one piece of the past or present to screen out another. Thus we lose faith even in our own lives.
It isn’t that to have an honourable relationship with you, I have to understand everything, or tell you everything at once, or that I can know, beforehand, everything I need to tell you. It means that most of the time I am eager, longing for the possibility of telling you. That these possibilities may seem frightening, but not destructive, to me. That I feel strong enough to hear your tentative and groping words. That we both know we are trying, all the time, to extend the possibilities of truth between us. When we stop lying we create the possibility for more truth; Telling the truth creates the possibility for more truth around us, the possibility of life between us.”
♀ Adrienne Rich
“Let doubt be a source of growth rather than a debilitating force. If you want to maintain your integrity, question yourself often. Doubt your best deeds. Examine your smallness. Doubt is at the heart of any serious artistic practice as well as the day-to-day activities of an artist. Some artists think the doubts will eventually subside, but they will not. As you mature, new questions appear that challenge whatever development you have attained.”
“Be careful with your calculations. Calculations become a habit. A calculated life is seldom radiant.”
Enrique Martinez Celaya
However deep our theoretical commitment to serenity, in the course of an average day, we are likely to encounter a number of extremely well-crafted invitations to lose our tempers badly. .... It’s just there is so much else that needs our attention: we have to hold on to our thoughts, repair our wounds, appease our turmoils and discover our routes to happiness. We must sidestep the many dragnets because we have so many other, truly more important things to do.
inner resonance * tender nest º tenderness
"For me empowerment is simply the flip side of freedom. A woman who feels, in her mind, heart and body, free enough to live in alignment with her full self is an empowered woman. It has nothing to do with who you are professionally, the power you have over people, how loud you speak, or how ‘in control’ you appear. I know a lot of women who ‘look’ empowered but still don’t feel the courage to be true to themselves, or who simply don’t know who their true self is. Doing the hard work of finding out why you are here, and doing the best to bring that woman forward, that is true empowerment. No one can take that power from you. We are most powerful (and most beautiful too) when we stand in our truth… So if I close my eyes, an empowered woman would be one who makes her choices freely, who honors her heart’s calling, who brings her unique light to the world. I have always loved the idea that humanity is a puzzle, and that a puzzle however full, cannot be complete until that one piece is found. Until each one of us finds our best selves and brings it forth.
Because the superwoman does not exist. The sooner you realize that, the freer you are to just be yourself. And our beauty actually lies in our imperfections (if only we can be brave enough to embrace them)…Many women are also prisoners of how society views them. So allowing yourself to do things that society may not approve of or the people close to you do not see you doing, can be very freeing. You just have to be careful to do them not because you want to prove anything to anyone, but truly for yourself. To feed yourself. And that’s power.
Marriage and motherhood were also significant. Both made me realize the pressure that is put on women, and the difficulty to find yourself when you are trying to cater for everyone else’s needs. Often times it’s a self-imposed pressure too. In many African societies we have created this fantasy of a strong woman, who endures everything, puts her needs last, and handles everything with a smile. That woman is celebrated, held as a model. Even if her community knows she is in pain, she is honored for her stoicism. Not being yourself becomes bravery. So she appears strong, but in reality she is not, she is simply fronting. And I think that is very damaging and dangerous for women.
It really is a journey. I think it’s important to stress that. It doesn’t happen overnight, but over countless little experiences, choices, and it’s a journey that does not really end… When I look back I realize that my most painful experiences have actually been the greatest catalysts for growth. Because grief and adversity take you to that place where you either die or rise, it forces you to look at yourself in the mirror, to look deeply at your life and to decide how you want to move forward. A few years ago I watched my father slowly lose his life to an advanced illness, and that throbbing pain brought me face to face with myself. In the weeks, months that followed, every unresolved issue came forth. Because such grief is an earth-shattering experience, it cracks you open. And it allowed me, over time, to work on myself, to find and uproot whatever else was ailing me, which lead me to a much more empowered life. But it’s a decision that one makes. You have to chose you. And it’s a choice that is always available to us. But I’ve found that challenges wash away the distractions of life and thus create a crossroad. The choice becomes much clearer.
The best way to empower another being is to be empowered yourself. It’s as simple as that. At the end of the day we only are responsible for ourselves, but if we do that well we get to lift up others in the process. When I look at the women who have inspired or touched me, it was those who, by being their full, unapologetic selves, gave me permission to be what I wanted to be. So I aspire to be transparent about who I am, by shaking my own boundaries, this may make another woman say: ‘wait a minute, I too have something I’ve always wanted to do/be’. And to be honest about that journey. Because again, there is no such thing as a picture perfect life."
♀ Ketty Nivyabandi
In lying to others we end up lying to ourselves. We deny the importance of an event, or a person, and thus deprive ourselves of a part of our lives. Or we use one piece of the past or present to screen out another. Thus we lose faith even in our own lives.
It isn’t that to have an honourable relationship with you, I have to understand everything, or tell you everything at once, or that I can know, beforehand, everything I need to tell you. It means that most of the time I am eager, longing for the possibility of telling you. That these possibilities may seem frightening, but not destructive, to me. That I feel strong enough to hear your tentative and groping words. That we both know we are trying, all the time, to extend the possibilities of truth between us. When we stop lying we create the possibility for more truth; Telling the truth creates the possibility for more truth around us, the possibility of life between us.”
♀ Adrienne Rich
“Let doubt be a source of growth rather than a debilitating force. If you want to maintain your integrity, question yourself often. Doubt your best deeds. Examine your smallness. Doubt is at the heart of any serious artistic practice as well as the day-to-day activities of an artist. Some artists think the doubts will eventually subside, but they will not. As you mature, new questions appear that challenge whatever development you have attained.”
“Be careful with your calculations. Calculations become a habit. A calculated life is seldom radiant.”
Enrique Martinez Celaya
However deep our theoretical commitment to serenity, in the course of an average day, we are likely to encounter a number of extremely well-crafted invitations to lose our tempers badly. .... It’s just there is so much else that needs our attention: we have to hold on to our thoughts, repair our wounds, appease our turmoils and discover our routes to happiness. We must sidestep the many dragnets because we have so many other, truly more important things to do.