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Ducks in the cove don't mind the cold, or at least, they don't complain to me. Every time I see them, I think about the notion of being placid on the surface, paddling like mad underneath. There's no purer metaphor for my lifelong state of mind. Way too much has always been happening in my head. That might seem beneficial for someone like me with a creative career, and it certainly does keep me from running short on thoughts. But the buzz carries on beyond the hour a day I actually spend writing. When I was young, I remember seeing an episode of "Star Trek: The Next Generation". In it, an android called Data gets romantically involved with a human character, despite the fact that he has no emotions. After they kiss, she asks him: "What were you just thinking?" He describes a whole litany of things on his mind, only one of which was her. That sense of splintered focus has always been familiar to me. Not a wandering mind – more like being fully present in multiple thoughts at once. I can't get anything done, or think anything through, unless I'm multi-tasking.
February 19, 2025
Harbourville, Nova Scotia
Year 18, Day 6310 of my daily journal.
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The Splinter is one of seven "hofjes" in Alkmaar -- houses for single people, often elderly but not always.
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