View allAll Photos Tagged selfreflection
Today I am 40 years old. A milestone like that brings out a lot of feelings. Who am I? How the hell did I get to where I am today? Where do I go from here? My new project will attempt to answer that. This series, Childhood Memories, will consist of the places, people, and events from my life that have made me who I am. I am doing this for self discovery. I hope other people enjoy it too, but it will be fine if they don't. I decided to make this photo the first one in the series. From there I will post with no set schedule and in no particular order. More like "stream of consciousness" as things come to me.
So this is where it all began for me. My grandparent's home. My home from the time I was 2 years old until I finally got my own place with friends at 23. Even then, this was still home. I haven't lived here for nearly 20 years, but it is still home. We lost grandpa back in 2003, but his presence is still here.
Grandma is alone now in this house full of memories. After 63 years here, she says she must leave. My aunt (her daughter) and uncle have made her an offer she can't refuse, to live with them. She will be cared for, close to family, life simplified. A house is just a material thing. I understand. Still letting go is so hard. The two most important people in my life, giants in my eyes, my heroes, the greatest of the greatest generation - my grandparents took this house, this mere material thing and turned it into the greatest home anyone could ever hope to live in. My father, aunt, and uncles were all raised here. Then I came along. Barely two years old, given a second chance to have a normal childhood by grandparents nearing retirement who had already raised four children. My childhood was epic, the stuff of legend because of them.
I have told my family that I will never set foot in my hometown again. They say "aww, you don't mean that". I do. I cannot bear to see another family living in our home. Grandma says, "don't you want to see what the new owners do with the place?" No! I want to remember it just how it is. Nothing anyone can do to it could make it better. They can only mess it up. I am so lucky to still have my grandmother and I will be glad to have her near me and well taken care of, but I just want this painful transitional period over with. I guess I'm just too sentimental.
Photo captured on U.S. Highway 97, the Dalles-California Highway, in Klamath County. State of Oregon. "State of Jefferson." Late February 2013.
What a wacky special edition, and by "wacky" I mean a bit dull really. Nice shade of green, though. It turns out that there were also Pink Floyd and Bon Jovi special editions as well. The logo is from the Voodoo Lounge album and tour of 1995. So this car has lasted 14 years and is still in fair nick.
Photo captured via Minolta MD Zoom Rokkor-X 75-200mm f4.5 lens at Garrapata State Park in Big Sur. Monterey County. Late October 2013.
Photo captured via Nikon 50mm f/1.8 D AF Nikkor lens from Samoa Beach in the census-designated place of Samoa. Humboldt County. Early October 2013.
Photo captured at Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park near McWay Falls via Minolta MD Celtic 28mm f/2.8 Lens in Big Sur. Monterey County. Late October 2013.
Everybody enjoys to see their reflection, including this jumping spider! Note the thin strand protruding from the abdomen and sticking to the wooden frame of the mirror. This is the strand that jumpers use for safety... Should they fall down or miss without reaching their jumping target, they can always retrace their path in reverse gear by pulling this strand!
Photo captured during sunset at the Vista Point near the Berry Summit along California Highway 299 via Minolta MD Zoom Rokkor-X 75-200mm f/4.5 lens about 10 miles west of the census designated place of Willow Creek. Humboldt County. Mid November 2013.
Slightly edited shot of myself reflected in Amsterdam. Taken with my HTC Desire.
Thank God it's Friday!!! I'm so freakin' tired but also extremely happy, it's been a tough week and I feel privileged that I can already enjoy the sweet fruits of my favorite time, the weekend, the magic time where all work is forgotten and all the fun comes out of its hiding place. I know, I sound like a lazy slob, but that's only because I am! I can't help it, I'm suffering from a severe case of a genetically inferior structure, that forces me to stay home whenever possible, filling the Interwebs with things nobody needs, just so that I don't have to go to the office and make some anonymous rich fat cat somewhere on the planet even fatter and richer, because let's be honest, it's bad for your Karma to accumulate material things for no obvious reason, so I'm really just doing my share to assist the aforementioned anonymous rich bastard dude/dudette in avoiding having to go through endless cycles of death, rebirth, death, rebirth, etc, which makes me a good guy, and my own Karma shine like a polished diamond, lol ;D
There are many times we need to simply just get away; we need to separate ourselves from whatever situation takes place during that particular moment in time. Doing such allows ourselves to the achievements of following methods: appreciating, reflecting, visualizing, improving and staying committed to life. I am no stranger to hard times, on a mental and fiscal level, but through the storm, there shines a rainbow on the other side of the clouds that shall and will grant us infinite moments of pure bliss. Photo captured from Trinidad State Beach in the city of Trinidad. Humboldt County. Early October 2013.
Photo of the mouth of the Klamath River captured at the Klamath River Overlook via Requa Road in Del Norte County. "State of Jefferson." Redwood National Park. Early August 2013.
June 5, 2022: If I actually complete this #post, it will mark the 1st #time in a long time since I’ve done this 5 days in a row. Right now, I’m #struggling with completing even the simplest of things, & outside of these daily #selfies, I’ve steered away from moments of #SelfReflection. For example, I can’t remember the last time I did #MorningPages #journaling, & I’ve also avoided moments where I’d have to see myself in a #mirror. My #relationship with myself has always had a tension of #distrust, of not liking who I see in the mirror.
In 2020, I made a post about purchasing a handheld mirror that I planned to use for #EyeGazing #exercises related to #HoOponopono, as well as repeating #affirmations & other #mantras to reframe how I view myself. My desire to do that ran parallel with my desire to do this #selfie project everyday. It was supposed to #help, not #hinder my progress. But like so many things in my life, I start, but don’t follow through.
My distrust hasn’t just impacted seeing myself in a mirror, or taking selfies; it’s also spilled into a fear of being in photos with family & friends. When I should embrace chances to #capture happy #memories I get stuck worrying about whether or not I look good, or wondering when this amateur photo session would be over. I’d suck in my gut & hold my breath while faking a #smile… & let’s not talk about how anxious I get when these photos get uploaded to #SocialMedia.
I’ve said this before but I’d like to improve my #relationship with myself. I’d love to be able to see myself & say, “hey, you’re pretty cool.” A few days ago I lamented about losing people because they choose to cut me out of their lives & I don’t know why. But I do know that their desire to avoid me mirrors my own desire to avoid me. If I want to break this cycle, I need to cultivate an #unconditional sense of #compassion, #curiosity, #foregiveness, gratitude, love, & reverence for all life STARTING WITH MYSELF.
My friend @ahhlanna96 reminded me Friday about the self-portrait I created last month with all the positive things others said about who I am. She told me to look at that more often so I can start believing in who I am.
156/365.
Slightly edited phone cam Selfportrait, shot with the timer of my mobile, reflected in a puddle in Amsterdam. Taken with my C905 mobile phone. No editing, no magic tricks, no Photoshop :)
Today is my 4th Flickr Birthday, yay! 4 years ago I've uploaded my first shot to Flickr and I never regretted it, manymany good things have happened to me, I've met manymany very nice people online and offline, I've been part of Exhibitions, Museum-events, fashion photo shoots and many other wicked, exciting things because of this lovely website, and I would not want to miss a second of the fun :))
Thank you all so much for making this possible, without you, this would just be another narcissistic, glossy show-off site, a foolish instrument and playground for vain, spoiled people who can't stop posting their ohsopwetty self portraits to the InterWebs, haha ;-D
Have a wonderful day, there's some Champagne over there by the buffet, help yourself!
Photo captured via Minolta MD Zoom Rokkor-X 75-200mm f/4.5 lens at a sheep ranch in the town of Orick. Humboldt County. Early December 2013.
Teylersmuseum Haarlem
Fotografie: Sitan van Sluis
Model: Hiske Eriks
Licht: Martijn Laarhoven
Make-up: Susan
1. tracks, 2. open, 3. snow!, 4. MACBA_02, 5. geometry@Shanghai Art Museum, 6. flickr.com/photos/81598745@N00/368652433/, 7. flickr.com/photos/14435400@N00/345949473/, 8. Untitled, 9. CLAVELES, 10. Untitled, 11. red white & blue ~ cartoon, 12. in love, 13. DSCF1828-1, 14. Y, 15. chair, 16. Untitled, 17. silencedconscience, 18. SELFREFLECTION '07-01-15, 19. Textures #1, 20. Untitled, 21. Moments..............., 22. Lady of the Marble Court, 23. Untitled, 24. 48 hours in Milan - the museum's cafeteria, 25. bag full of tulips, 26. rich dooley, here's to the atom bomb, 27. Southern Belle, 28. Hyacinthus orientalis, 29. Aya, 30. We were born before the wind, 31. Untitled, 32. BELAG, 33. Poema, 34. One Knightrider Court, 35. city detail, 36. offset!
Created with fd's Flickr Toys.
"...Day, so wonderful and white, so full of gladness, so full of pain." -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
What happened?
You wake up
You discover your life isn't going how you wish. Too many years self pity.
Now, now is the time to change. You have a reason and a need to.
So as you work, the question remains:
Will you fade away on this as you have before?
"Oh yeah it's on now, Gonna mass destruct it. Life we gonna live it to the fullest,We accept it " Lotus Juice Self Redemption
Photo captured via the HDR method of photography in Trinidad. Humboldt County. North Coast. Late January 2013.
Photo of Luffenholtz Beach, looking toward Trinidad and Trinidad Head captured via Nikon 50mm f/1.8 D AF Nikkor lens and in the census-designated place of Westhaven-Moonstone via Scenic Drive, County Road 4M310. Humboldt County. Mid October 2013.
Selfreflection, shot in Amsterdam. Taken with my HTC Desire using the Camera360 Android app.
One more week, and I'm back to working 4 days instead of 5, after 3 1/2 harsh, superbusy and extremely stressful months, pheeeeeeew! I've been looking forward to this more and more desperately over the weeks, telling myself 'Hang in there some, just a few more weeks, you can do it!', but it was getting harder and harder to believe myself, all the energy burned up, the futile attempts to keep myself positively motivated by reminding myself of the good things going on in my life often failing, resulting in a tired blur of images of me at work instead of me out there shooting puddles, or just chillaxing on my beloved balcony. Now all I have to do is to somehow finish this horrible week of late shifts, and finally I will regain some much needed rest, relaxation and quality of life, I feel lucky, blessed and grateful that I can afford laziness back into my world :)
Have a nice, relaxed weekend, take it easy :)
'Like' me on Facebook :)
There are many times we need to simply just get away; we need to separate ourselves from whatever situation takes place during that particular moment in time. Doing such allows ourselves to the achievements of following methods: appreciating, reflecting, visualizing, improving and staying committed to life. I am no stranger to hard times, on a mental and fiscal level, but through the storm, there shines a rainbow on the other side of the clouds that shall and will grant us infinite moments of pure bliss. Photo captured via ND-8 Filter from Trinidad State Beach in the city of Trinidad. Humboldt County. Early October 2013.