View allAll Photos Tagged questioning
I caught Vint questioning the AI oracle.
Is it just me or has she changed since she started working for Rezzable ??
Questioning
"There are times when I question the validity of what I do. Why do all I can to save a life? Why jump in, no questions asked, not giving it a second thought as to what the future might hold for this person? We make many of these decisions automatically, so to speak, if you are, basically, not quite dead yet or even if you are recently dead (sudden cardiac arrest) we will throw everything, including the kitchen sink to try to save your life. But to what end…what kind of life are we giving you, and what life long struggles will you and your loved ones have to endure.
These thoughts flow through my psyche as I stand at the bedside of a patient today. The call was for difficulty breathing to an address that seemed familiar but not so sure. As I stand next to a young man in a hospital type bed who is only a shadow of who he once was the same questions arise again. His dreams, his families dreams, his friends dreams shattered in an instant last March. In that moment, all that he was, all that he could be, all that he would have been, became all that he never would be except for alive. And all he was, was alive, everything else was gone. I stand there and talk to him, no answers can come from him, wondering if he understands, seeing the heartache, the hardness on the families faces, of the dreams that will never be, pains me, again the same questions .
I was there that day in March when his dreams faded away. I was with him in the car as we all were, jumping in feet first, no questions asked, throwing everything including the kitchen sink, but knowing, damnit, full well knowing, that our efforts were futile, his dreams had already faded away.
Maybe we do this with the unrealistic hope of a miracle, the one in a million that this one will keep their dreams. Maybe that is why or maybe not. All I know is that it saddens me and I do not know why, I see death, heartache and suffering on a daily basis. Seeing his dreams gone, deeply, deeply saddens me and again the questions flow though my psyche as the tears roll down my cheek... "
© Leanne Boulton, All Rights Reserved
Candid eye contact street photography from Glasgow, Scotland. A couple of recent trips into the city have been slim-pickings for street photography. I had been questioning my ability but in all honesty, the post-Christmas slump and mood on the street were almost entirely to blame. I may have to rely on some older images that I have never uploaded before, just for a while. In the meantime, this is my best shot from my last visit to Glasgow. Enjoy!
View On Black • Yes, this shot is overexposed deliberately... Actually it was nicely lit and I just did a diffuse glow on it to support a point. In the last week I have both hated and missed doing my 365 shots. This insane project is taking time in a year (a LOT of time) and if participating in such a project brings me to think about the logic aspect of this... Well, I should just drop it all together.
But here's the problem, it's a love/hate relationship and Flickr is an addicting thing. I found myself missing visiting my favorite contacts this week and I've had people questioning to why I was doing this and putting so many pictures of myself up. I was working everyday and at night I couldn't take time for this either. So my question is (beside flickr being addictive, we all know that)... Is doing the 365 over-exposing our lives? Is this project too crazy? Food for thought... Give me your take on it.
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning."
--Albert Einstein--
Yesterday morn answered to nothing
today, in a moment of silence
a reflection even
is a questioning of all I believe in...
still, today seems out of focus
a waterloogged pitch upon which
my agile hopes linger
recalling a striking left-winger
oh for those days to return
if only...I could, I would
scoring goals of sensuous joy
football seemed a God-given toy
now beleagured is the spine
of my dream-team letting go
perusing what's left of my abilities
becomes the statistical nightmare of disabilities
oh well, been there, done that, I suppose
as my course is now altered somewhat
navigating colder waters when I wish for warmth
sweating a fear seeking the sobriety so roomth
that chilled space of redeeming, healing time
memories lay ageless, the crystal souvenir elect!
what solace is found from recollections unbound
is the adaptability of motion within belief profound
those from my mother, my father, and distant forebears too
I want to say I love you so, as only a heart can do,
for you I return the favour of life and this living
to make it Heavenly is my last wish of Earthly giving
my course was instigated from the webs you spun
now from this distorted body I've clearly run aground
at times distal, from the effecting heavy medical involvement
I've sought you in the complexity of health's fight and endurement
surgeries dimplements have scarred my mind it is true
such times were but a compère, at least I hope
for the air of understanding to fill my body with the learning-
of how to be who I want to be in this frame so disconcerting
life does go on doesn't it...seemingly to never end
but for that end I have nearly seen, mine would have already arrived
so, it's clear the perfect welfare's state is one of simplicity and harmony
that, together with nature's endurance leaves me right beside you in synchrony.
by anglia24
10h00: 12/06/2008
©2008anglia24
This grand stair has seen the elevation and diminishment of strong climbers on the direct ascent that may become less steady and not so sure footed on their somewhat dizzying descent depending on their sociable reception of reverence, revelry and their aptitude for rambunctiousness. All that is sheer supposition of the progression of historical heights achieved and also of the downward floundering disarray of degradation in regression. All of this was swimming around my unsure head as my hips, knees and ankles offered to give way. The four broken toes were not to be considered as I tried to do this stair and the well within and without some justice in my pictures.
This stair is in Auchinleck House in East Ayrshire, Scotland. It will have seen and supported Dr. Samuel Johnson and James Boswell whilst about their ways to publishing, “A Journey to the Western Islands of Scotland,” also, “The Journal of a Tour to the Hebrides.” Dr. Samuel Johnson having risen to fame as The Man Of Letters of his age with critical acclaim and his outstanding lexicography work that would assure him a place in the Black Adder Pantheon of historical characters of true merit in the absolute finest of humours, “A Dictionary of the English Language. 1755, 1773.”
Blackadder, Ink and Incapability, Dr. Johnson being played perplexed over Sausage by Robbie Coltrane, Episode aired Sep 24, 1987, written by Richard Curtis, Ben Elton.
I happen to believe that I have failed in both pictures here produced together,
A staircase, no a challenge accepted and an achievement attempted
A stairwell staring back and questioning, “How you can picture it?”
I need to return and with crushed toes try much harder to achieve a result worthy of the Stair and of the Well both Inner and Outer.
© PHH Sykes 2025
phhsykes@gmail.com
the June 2025 exhibition @ The Annex of Nitroglobus
Happy and honoured to finally be able to exhibit MarVayu's art @ Nitroglobus. Somehow there always was something getting in between which prevented an exhibition.
However, now she is here with impressive works larded with turquoise prims and lights.
I won't repeat all MarVayu's lines here so I recommend you read her description about how she found works in her archive which somehow fitted well together and her questioning why she is in SL. Well a question we can all ask ourselves.
Enjoy the exhibition and please do read her lines.
dido haas, owner/curator
The Annex of Nitroglobus
My thanks goes to David Silence who created the excellent poster for this exhibition, based on an artwork of MarVayu.
***
Opening party: Monday 23 June, 12 PM SLT
Music by Frank Atisso
taxi: maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Sunshine%20Homestead/166/4...
***
Description by the artist:
“Real liberation comes not from glossing over or repressing painful states of feeling, but only from experiencing them to the full.”
C.G. Jung, The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious
(Collected Works 9i)
The images you see are from an archive of discarded works I created for past exhibits.
All images were made to accompany my micro poems.
I see a common thread between them but, not an actual story.
These remnants are memories from time spent searching for that common thread that links the many selves. A thread I believe exists within a collective whole.
Some might call it, “collective unconscious”, some might see it as myth or a philosophical rabbit hole. Maybe it is, but, I continue to have hope.
Someone stated to me once: “Maybe you should ask yourself, why are you here in SecondLife?”
Why am I even searching for an origin of the selves …
It wasn’t meant to have me ponder or discuss my reason, it was meant to make me doubt my belief has relevance. This simple statement pushed me to realize just how fluid our thoughts are and how far they flow leaving positive or negative effects.
Meaning, we experience more than our own or a single reality.
From this, I began to understand the concept of “projecting” and how we wear different masks to validate our thoughts through ourselves as well as others.
To make the “selves” heard and seen.
To let the “selves” breathe and feel.
To let them have life they call their own.
To let them become real.
But, I think there is more, so much more within any attempt to do so.
I see a lot of struggle as well as love, honesty and support expressed in virtual realms.
Expressed through our alternate self or selves. Through our avatars, our art, our music, our intuition and feelings. Feelings of pleasure and pain, of trust and betrayal, of love and hate.
I witness how we spend hours of real time in virtual worlds alone as well as, in congruence with others.
These spaces seem not a second life but an alternate life. A space where we connect regardless of time and distance. A place we congregate and express the selves.
A place that just might be a window or a door into the collective whole.
MarVayu
Wakering Photography Group Wild Bird Printed Challenge.
I am not sure what this Duck is ?
There have been similar sightings over the last couple of years and they were questioning its origin so far it's known as the Green Billed Duck ?
Eva: Dave, I have some questions about the whole Santa thing.
Dave: Existential, pup culture related, or questioning the physics of sleigh flight at supersonic speeds?
Eva: It has to do with the song. The one where he is coming to town.
Dave: I’ll try my best.
Eva: Well, it says that “He sees you when you're sleeping”. I’m having trouble with that as I can’t see a thing with this hat on my head.
Dave: I have a feeling that the hat fits his head better than yours.
Eva: It also says “You better not pout”. Does it mean that I’m not being good if I’m pouting? Just because I don’t look like I’m enjoying something doesn’t mean that I’m not being exceedingly good by putting up with it.
Dave: Do you have a specific example?
Eva: How about now?
Dave: Don’t worry. You are being very nice. I’m sure that you will be on the nice list and get lots of cookies.
Eva: The last questions are how long his corporate memory is and what is his policy on mitigating circumstances.
Dave: Is that from the song?
Eva: Nope. More of a question about if I wait until December 26th to extract revenge on someone for making me wear this hat and pretend that I enjoy it, will he still remember when he packs the sleigh next year?
Dave: I guess that depends on how heinous the act of revenge is.
Eva: I’ll keep that in mind.
--------
We're wishing everyone a head start on the Merry Christmas thing. Or at least one of us is being merry about it. Special thanks to my daughter Julia for helping keep Eva "happy" during this photo shoot. And an extra special thanks to Eva for putting up with the whole thing.
Shonibare’s The British Library, a colourful work, celebrating and questioning how immigration has contributed to the British culture that we live in today. Shelves of books covered in colourful wax fabric fill the Sunley Gallery, their spines bearing the names of first and second generation immigrants who have enriched British society. From T.S. Eliot and Hans Holbein to Zaha Hadid, The British Library reminds us that the displacement of communities by global war has consequences that inform our lives and attitudes today.
2nd shot of the night had Phill questioning my technique for this shot as the initial results were a bit too inaccurate. Lucky he did or I would have been stuck with the image in my head and not appearing on the back of my camera. Managed to pull off something like I was imagining but I'm sure I could take it further.
PDS-01956
In the middle of the herd, some questioning looks. Clarabelle on the right seem to be leading the pack which probably explains why he was chosen to inherit the tracker. I can hear JoAnne in the distance calling to me - I thought I was pretty well hidden beside a tree still some distance away and which I thought offered me a certain protection as well - but even JoAnne found me. I will have to invest in some camouflage clothing.
picture from: Cox collection
info from: Ships Nostalgia
The fifth ship to be named “Eastgate” built by Turnbull and Scott 1957
Shell 'K' or 'H' type vessel.
turbine product tanker 12166grt
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British tanker ‘Eastgate’ under attack at Vung Ro bay june 6 1968.
story as told by W.T. Alexander
Quote
It promised to be an interesting stay in Vung Ro right from the start.
As we where mooring up to the sea buoys a US Navy destroyer at the entrance to the bay started lobbing 5-inch shells over us and the surrounding hills.
This made us look questioningly at the 2 members of the US Army who where taking samples of our JP4 cargo prior to discharging.
“Don’t you worry non son. There is a bit of battle goin on over them thar hills. But thars 10000 Koreans in them hills and Charlies scared shitless of them Koreans”
He the regaled us with stories of Koreans taking Viet Cong heads and sticking them on poles outside their bases. It all sounded very reassuring.
I was 17 years old and training to be an officer in the British Merchant Marine.
This was my first trip to sea and life was exciting. I’d joined the Eastgate just a couple of weeks before in Hong Kong. From there we had sailed to Singapore to load JP4 and other petroleum products for the United States Military in Vietnam.
Vung Ro was a small port south of Qui Nhon.
There where 4 bouys to berth a tanker a short distance from the shore. The tanker discharged through a submarine pipeline attached to a buoy. This pipeline supplied an airbase inland.
A jetty for cargo ships was just north of the base. These berths where occupied by the “American Scientist” and another US merchant vessel.
The day passed quickly with lots of things happening. A cliff face was blown up by the army engineers. A blast which knocked all of us interested spectators back two paces. Then two Hueys landed on the beach and some very nice looking young ladies stepped out and where escorted into the camp.
Our two resident army radio operators informed us of a strip show at the base that evening and if any of the crew where interested they would whistle up a boat. Well amazingly enough most of the crew where interested. So those who could get the time off duty duly went ashore and where royally treated by our American hosts.
Unfortunately I was not one of the chosen few but you can’t win them all.
I came on watch at midnight to find all was quiet.
Andy, my sidekick, informed me that pumping had been stopped due to a suspected hole in the pipeline and the hole was to be investigated the next morning. Sounded good to me.
0130. I was on the poop on a routine fire watch, looking over towards the base ashore.
A flash and a shower of silver sparks form the middle of the base followed immediately by an explosion, followed by another, and another. I got to thinking that this shouldn’t be happening.
I went back midships to see the 2nd Officer who was also of the opinion that this was not usual. The 2/O hit the alarm bells whilst I went to let the Captain know what was happening.
The Chief Officer started to organize the disconnection of the pipeline and attaching it to the buoy ready for use next time. Andy and I where sent off to make sure the ships blackout was complete whilst the Captain was conferring with the two radio operators as to the next move.
Meanwhile a mortar round exploded close to the bow of the “American Scientist”.
Many of the crew jumped overboard whilst others left the ship on the landward side. They ran along the jetty but 2 shells landed at the shore end of the jetty and they turned and ran back to the ship.
When I got back on deck after checking the blackout I found all the engineers on deck with lifejackets.
I asked the 3rd engineer what was going on and he said the Captain had told them to get ready to abandon ship.
What had happened was that the Captain was a bit unsure of what to do and had asked the American radio operators. The operators had lost touch with the shore and where unhappy about sitting on top of 12.000 tons of JP4 with mortar shells flying around the place. So they had advised getting everyone ashore.
Whilst the Captain considered the Chief Engineer, an old gnarled Scotsman with a limp, stormed up to him and told him in no uncertain terms “Captain you’r not abandoning this fucking ship”.
This had the effect of pulling the Captain out of his uncertainty and ordered the Chief to get the engines ready for leaving.
Our problem was that there was no emergency evacuation plan for leaving the port. We had lost touch with all other units and the local patrol boats where busy picking up the men in the water from the “American Scientist”. Ashore there was nu letup in the assault on the base with the sound of the mortar shells being joined by that of small arms fire.
Finally we where ready for off. We had to let our mooring ropes go from the ship as there where no boats available to let them go from the buoys. This would add to the hazards of leaving because of the risk of the ropes fouling the propeller.
We let go one from each buoy, but then came the next problem. The “American Scientist” had let go her moorings and was manoeuvring to leave the bay. It was far too dangerous to have 2 large vessels manoeuvring in such confined waters at night, blacked out, and in the middle of a battle. So we had to wait.
In the mean time helicopter gunships had arrived and where spraying the hillside above the base with gunfire and rockets. This was hugely spectacular and worth waiting to see.
So we where all stand by waiting to complete unmooring as soon as the “American Scientist” was clear. The only crew members who where not at their stations where our Arab firemen who where under the port lifeboat with packed suitcases. They where eventually driven back down the engine room by the 2nd Engineer.
I was up on the bridge as the order was finally given to let go the remaining mooring lines and leave the bay. A manoeuvre which the Captain did brilliantly, his former nerves now seemingly well settled. Our American radio operators still couldn’t get in touch with the base and where more than a little worried sat on the deck on the bridge wing. Our Captains remark to Dave Piggott the helmsman when we finally cleared the bay was “I don’t know about you Piggot but I think I need a new pair of underpants” Bit of a wag at times our Captain.
And so we spent the night a safe distance offshore to see what the morning would bring.
And the following morning, still no radio contact with the base, so we continued our offshore patrol.
Later in the day we received a message from Shell Tankers that we where to proceed to Qui Nhon to complete the discharge. But then the next problem. Most of our mooring ropes where still attached to the bouys in Vung To Bay and the Captain was loatch to go without them.
So we headed back towards the bay to see if we could get them back. As we approached the bay one of the patrol boats dashed out and a chap with a megaphone demanded to know “what the fuck are you doing here with that ship Captain ?”
The Captain explained that we had been told to go to Qui Nhon but could we have our ropes back first please.
Eventually a party of our crew went into the bay on the patrol boat and towed the mooring ropes out and we said goodbye to our radio men who seemed quite relieved to be off.
From there we sailed to Qui Nhon. Three days later we passed Vung Ro on the way back to Singapore. We could see fighter bombers attacking the hills to the north of the bay. And so it went on.
Postscript
About 8 years later I was on a chemical tanker sailing from Newhaven to Elizabethport. The pilot for Long Island Sound turned out to be the Captain of the other merchant vessel that was berthed alongside the “American Scientist” and a regular runner into Vung Ro.
Het told me that the Koreans had been moved from the hills around Vung Ro but no one had thought to inform the American troops of this fact. They thought they where well protected but where not.
The other thing he told me was that the “American Scientist” had a large quantity of napalm on board hence the crew reaction to the near miss.
W.T. Alexander
Hornsea England
Unquote
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"Eastgate" sunk 30.3.1973
as a result of a collision when approaching Hong Kong at night.
With the French mv “Circea”.
fire amidships and 3 crewmembers lost their lives.
Total loss and delivered to ship breakers at Kaohsiung 3 months later.
If a question can choose it's direction
will it ever match the debatable answer
held in tow with a mighty discretion
which confers with a galloping lancer
the one that yields to tempting force
within a world of no gravitating remorse
hell no! that's no Proteus for today
in the field of urban conflict
no-one is free from the all-questioning survey
prying eyes that drive the politicked
a trick of edictal panic measures
an ill-omened fit for the swain's treasures
where's the lifeguard for those of us all at sea
drowning in this ocean of anonymity
our identity if you please, give it back to me
afloat this life in search of some equanimity
in the illimitable world we're all dead sure
of nearing the first taste of a vintage lure
drink to the health of the life that runs on empty
to the bottom of the glass we toast again
such is our indifference to the volupty
and all her sail in her, amen!
a navvy is the engine that fires warnings across life's brow;
the polluter beyond all doubt that bear witnesses can allow
such naked truth is a bookmark to return to
when hate and loathing fail to find home
and the conscience to a goose can't even say boo,
who are we to mock the mirror's line-laughing tome
our most loyal love-hating accessory
a pale reflection of the party-pooping supervisory
unstated are the efforts of the past that go in a flash
remembered as thundery grizzles
forgotten grains of time that weathering turns to ash
a suntrap in the emotive heart that sizzles
to please the hunger for youthful gilt
that satisfies the edge of a conscientious tilt
the world is a lonely place when you're on your own
is a 70's line sung in this propaedeutic musing
before sidetracked I am completely overthrown
bidding farewell with a wave thus confusing
the issue of this sorrowful flame
melting the very end of all it became.
by anglia24
14h45: 13/07/2008
©2008anglia24
"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity."
- Albert Einstein (1875-1955)
Fred is a longtime boarder and has trained us to always give him two litter boxes - one to use in the conventional way and a second to nap in. He often makes me smile because he looks so smugly satisfied with his customized arrangement. No one else gets to have two litter boxes in their cage.
Sorry for the long, long absence. There are so many reasons why. I was away for a week visiting my brother in Utah, spring has not yet come to New Jersey so I'm unmotivated to take pictures of bare trees and dead-looking grass and it's been too busy at work to take pictures. Last week was both Easter break and Spring break which means everyone who owns a cat went on vacation and boarded them with us.
We had an interesting case at work since I've been back. A kitten came in extremely lethargic, vomiting, not eating and act neurologic - very erratic and unstable body movements. The two rule-outs were obstruction from a foreign body or ingestion of a toxin. In-house blood work showed that all his values were within the normal range and except for some unusual gas patterns, every thing looked normal on his abdominal x-ray. We sent him immediately to a referral hospital and by the time they repeated blood work nearly every value was off-the-charts bad suggesting the cat had eaten something toxic. The owner, a university student, said, no, there was nothing the cat could have gotten into - either foreign body or toxin. After an exploratory surgery found two earbuds and further questioning revealed that yes, it was possible the kitten could have gotten into some "medication" it is assumed the kitten got into some drugs. Owners usually admit to Marijuana but because of the extreme blood values the vets assume the "medication" was something a little stronger than marijuana. The good news is that after extensive and invasive intervention the kitten should be fine.
Happy Caturday: The beauty of a cat's eyes
This person from the Renaissance fair is questioning....What is this green paper with no Queen, I demand my pound, I was cheated.
You can walk through life questioning everything or you can walk through life accepting everything.
One will hold you back and the other will help guide you toward your next adventure.
Looking back at a perfect hike through a very quiet and surreal part of Yosemite. I remember questioning if I really wanted to do this long hike... it was super cold that day, it had dumped the night before, and I’d be carrying a heavy pack with my gear through thick snow.... but that’s when I told myself, “why not?!”. So glad I said that to myself!
why does it always feel like you've asked me a question that you know i can never answer? why would you ask such a question in the first place?
and so i go thinking about questioning the question that i think up...round and round.
I honestly got sooo uninspired this weekend. YET, I produced my clichés. But still, I'm not that proud. Maybe too hard on myself but whatever.
I guess questioning my work is part of the 365 project's process. So, that's good.
© Leanne Boulton, All Rights Reserved
Candid eye contact street photography from Glasgow, Scotland. Quite a stern questioning look here and an image that raises more questions as a viewer than it answers - I love that.
Claimed to be on the prime among the many seven pure wonders of the world, you would simply spend a few days questioning at this magical creation of nature. An area delusion explains that the bay was karst have been created when a dragon descended on the ocean to thwart Chinese language invaders and spat out jade stones and pearls that ultimately grew to become the islands. The phrase “Ha Long” which means “descending dragon” is why it’s referred to as so. The geological purpose of it being created by tens of millions of years of mountain formation, encroaching sea and tectonic plate actions is equally awe inspiring.
The seascape is a set of about 2000 limestone karst of all sizes, shapes and shades of inexperienced jutting out the ocean. It’s a web site that you simply’ll see nowhere else on the earth and the sensation of cruising on Halong Bay cruises, irrespective of if the skies are sunny or overcast, is a rare feeling.
Prints & Downloads are available on my ☛ H o m e p a g e
Please be free to comment which version of the 'Zebra Leaf' you like the most.
(For my friend David and my personal questioning).
We introduced Sid (Our resident Sparrowhawk who lives in the tree's at the bottom of our garden) and despite this rather questioning look., he's got used to us and our camera's by now
I suppose the way it works is that once Sid (or any other animal) determines that something is not a threat., they get more relaxed about it's presence
The 'it' in this case being us
I expect we will uploading a few more of our raptor 'pet'., but he's a beautiful bird. so I'll make no apologies
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Thanks for taking time to view, faves and comments. Much appreciated
More images at www.harrythehawk.net/anns-sparrowhawks
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... faces freedom with a little fear - Gypsy by Fleetwood Mac
“Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.”
- John F. Kennedy
Soundtrack : www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2osQPU7CT0
GYPSY – FLEETWOOD MAC
"I used to think I was some kind of gypsy boy"
- Leonard Cohen
Soundtrack : www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wi6AlcH4C0A
SO LONG MARIANNE - LEONARD COHEN
Dedicated to Leonard Cohen (1934-2016)
TO BE A TRAVELLING GYPSY PONY
That old adage springs to my ever questioning mind
“Look before you leap”
live life to the full before that final sleep
any promises you make; make sure you keep
the grass seems always greener to the unknowing flock of sheep
on the either side of that or any other divisive fence
one thing life has taught me
one thing truth has brought me
to count every blessing every single day
don't be complacent; do not relent
find the balance in the betwixt and between times
keep inside the joyful circle of the present tense
deep inside your beautiful heart's content
to be a travelling gypsy pony
a nomad; adventuress; princess of fairy stories
is a journey that I would love
no matter that the field is dry
tomorrow may bring a different sense
no need to settle in one place
no need to stop and wonder why
they are free to roam
and they have the instinct born in them
that always brings them home
the little one longs to play
with the neighbouring field of sheep
they eat green grass oblivious to his dreams
as he observes them so intense
what will tomorrow bring
does anyone really know
and does it matter really anyway
for any given moment is Heaven sent
and hope will get us through
and faith will bring us home
whatever happens to us
if we fall down in between
we will bounce like a rubber ball upright again
and the world will go on spinning
and some of it will go on sinning
but there is always hope of goodness winning
while the stillness within keeps us rooted to the ground
deep within our souls
where the echoes of our subconsciousness may be found
and like the gypsy ponies cycle continues round and round
we will find out where we belong
and our free spirits will sing loudly out their song
bolstering our courage; boisterous in our knowledge
that in this single given moment
we are young, we are free and we are strong...
- AP - Copyright remains with and is the intellectual property of the author
Copyright © protected image please do not reproduce without permission'
SOOC
No credits for this one.
I...am going through a personal crisis? Not an identity crisis but that's the first thing I could think of. I lie awake and I question everything about myself until I end up questioning if I even exist. Not if I deserve to. But if I do.
I feel emotions like joy, love, caring. I know I am loved, I know I am cared about and I know people want me around. But why? I'll stop in the middle of everything and realise I don't deserve the beautiful and amazing soul's I have come to know. Who bring out a side of me that I never knew could existed. I care about them and want the best for them, I will fight anyone willing to destroy that. Growing up I slowly believed I wasn't deserving of this. I had it slowly drilled into me that I was the cause of everyone's suffering around me and I just needed to avoid everyone so no one was ever hurt.
I was taught I am someone who pain comes from. Not love. I was taught that I was a monster from such a young age.
Alot of the time I still believe it, I don't want to but I do. I don't want to hurt people and I'm so scared about hurting them that the idea is always there. What if I fuck this up. What if I ruin everything. What if I end up all alone.
I cling to everything that hurts. Thinking I'm protecting everyone else around me but instead I just hurt myself more and more and more. They weren't in danger from me but I still do it. They still stay by my side and show me love and caring and they talk me through whatever I need talking through.
I don't feel like I deserve them but I know I do at the same time and it's like two different people are screaming inside of me while a third just yells that the whole thing inconveniences them. They have better things to do than deal with you.
I feel like I'm just there. But I have this whole life where people want to be around me, spend time with me, talk to me. And not just because they're forced to.
I'm probably repeating myself alot but it's 9am and I haven't been sleeping. I'm too scared to, it keeps me up and I'll be stuck in silence hearing everything on repeat. I cling tighter and tighter trying to hold in everything that hurts until it starts to kill me from the inside and I can't take it anymore. I just wish all of me could accept people's love.
Sorry if this was too much of a rant. But this needed to be written, I poured my soul tonight into this photo and I didn't want to just leave it to be another photo.
If you did read it, thank you. I hope you have a beautiful day and if you go through the same as me I hope you too can accept with all your heart that you ARE loved. We all have our own battles and we might not have physical scars but the mental ones last so much longer.
- P.Middleton
Does a fly every ask why insects keep getting caught in spider webs? If it could only read: www.nature.com/articles/srep02108