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"Heaven sends us good meat, but the Devil sends cooks." - David Garrick by Paul Evans
comedy quotes by andrew mc dowell

large area outside blackpool tower full of comedy quotes.and aroud the out side names of performers
"A horse is dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle." - Ian Flemming by Paul Evans

'Please Pass Wide'. We had a chuckle.
"A goldfish is more like a screensaver than a pet." - Jonathon Ross by Paul Evans
"The bible tells us to love our neighbours, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people." - G.K.Chesterton by Paul Evans

Mounted on a war memorial at Milton Abbot, Devon.
"How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven." - Spike Milligan by Paul Evans
"Idleness is only a coarse name for my infinite capacity for living in the present." - Cyril Connolly by Paul Evans
"There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best parts." - Charles Dickens by Paul Evans
"The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time." - Bob Monkhouse by Paul Evans
"Show me a man who loves football and nine times out of ten you'll be pointing at a really bad shag." - Julie Birchill by Paul Evans

The footballers looked on ..

(No cake for them!)
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett by Paul Evans
"I fart in your general direction." - French soldier in 'Monty Python & the Holy Grail' by Paul Evans

Taken on Carn Brae overlooking Pool, Cornwall.
comedy quotes by andrew mc dowell

large area outside blackpool tower full of comedy quotes.and aroud the out side names of performers
"I don't watch television, I think it destroys the art of talking about oneself." - Stephen Fry by Paul Evans
"My Aunt died at precisely 10:37 am and the old grandfather clock stopped precisely at this moment also. It fell on her." - Paul Merton by Paul Evans
"A cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree." - Spike Milligan by Paul Evans
"If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'" - John Cleese by Paul Evans
comedy quotes by andrew mc dowell

large area outside blackpool tower full of comedy quotes.and aroud the out side names of performers
"I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge." - Spike Milligan by Paul Evans
"I blame myself for my boyfriend's death. I shot him." - Jo Brand by Paul Evans
"Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so." - Douglas Adams by Paul Evans
"All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast." - John Gunther by Paul Evans

Christmas breakfast - this was noticed by my youngest son.
"I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose." - P.G.Wodehouse by Paul Evans
"I am amazed at DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for." - Jasper Carrott by Paul Evans
comedy quotes by andrew mc dowell

large area outside blackpool tower full of comedy quotes.and aroud the out side names of performers
wtfare_u by Life Quotes

Hahah yesterday I went into town with my G Leo haha and we looked in the bra section and found a double D bra that was florescent and i as like WE HAVE TO GET THAT FOR YOU IT LITERALLY SPEAKS OUT LEOS BREASTS ALL OVER IT MAN But he said it wasn't sparkly or sassy enough.. But then I thought we could get some pens and draw on it and make the "💁" emoji on each breast area of the bra hahaha He loved the idea man #perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow - wtfare_u
comedy quotes by andrew mc dowell

large area outside blackpool tower full of comedy quotes.and aroud the out side names of performers
reading the comedy quotes by andrew mc dowell

large area outside blackpool tower full of comedy quotes.and aroud the out side names of performers
i.like.yew by Life Quotes

I'm so stupid, why did I even fucking get annoyed.. I want it to get better, but I have a feeling the other person dislikes me :( FUCK. #perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow #rofl #s4s #love #happy #sad - i.like.yew
i.like.yew by Life Quotes

Oops :3 #perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow - i.like.yew
wtfare_u by Life Quotes

One of my bestest friends slips out of my hand every second of the day. She barely talks to me and it's crap. And it's all thanks to that bitch who is her new bestio wow.👏😓 #perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow - wtfare_u
i.like.yew by Life Quotes

Yep :) good morning people #perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow - i.like.yew
Me fail English? That's unpossible. #engrish #simpsons #thesimpsons #ralphwiggum #simpsonsquotes #quotes #comedy #funnypicture #cartoonquotes #90s #haha #lol #yellow #funnyquotes #comedyquotes #classic #tv #doh #simpsonsfamily by EngrishTwit

by magicmik3y instagram.com/p/azHn8DMbQs/
i.like.yew by Life Quotes

Aimed at this person, however, they don't remember, so nobody knows who this is aimed at, appart from three people #perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow #rofl #s4s #love #happy #sad - i.like.yew
what_is_freedom_ by Life Quotes

#perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow #rofl #s4s #love #happy #sad - what_is_freedom_
i.like.yew by Life Quotes

I'm young, and I'm saying this.. wow ! XD #perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow #rofl #s4s #love #happy #sad - i.like.yew
wtfare_u by Life Quotes

Cute watch☺️💘 #perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow #sfs #cutewatch - wtfare_u
what_is_freedom_ by Life Quotes

#perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow #rofl #s4s #love #happy #sad - what_is_freedom_
wtfare_u by Life Quotes

Exactly why I created this acc omg #perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow - wtfare_u
i.like.yew by Life Quotes

Shout out to this person, they know who they are #perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow #rofl #s4s #love #happy #sad - i.like.yew
wtfare_u by Life Quotes

Basically I think I should eat a cupcake @fairyspams #perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow - wtfare_u
wtfare_u by Life Quotes

Kiss me whenever babe #perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow - wtfare_u
#comedy #comedyquote #comedyquotes #comedyclass #georgecarlin #comedywisdom #comics #truth #standupcomedy #standupcomedyclass #stupid #stupidity #intelligence #stupider #comedycentral #comedians #pryor #chapelle #seinfeld #louisck #funny #howtobefunny #co by Gerrytheman
wtfare_u by Life Quotes

Eh they'll get over it if I do #perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow - wtfare_u
i.like.yew by Life Quotes

I'm way away from perfect #perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow #rofl #s4s #love #happy #sad - i.like.yew
what_is_freedom_ by Life Quotes

#perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow #rofl #s4s #love #happy #sad - what_is_freedom_
wtfare_u by Life Quotes

If anyone's up for a chat, please come and blooming chat to me🌊 #perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow #chatsanyone #chitchat - wtfare_u
wtfare_u by Life Quotes

If I left my window open, Would Peter come and take me away to neverland? Bc that'd be nice #perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow - wtfare_u
what_is_freedom_ by Life Quotes

#perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow #rofl #s4s #love #happy #sad - what_is_freedom_
wtfare_u by Life Quotes

I've only ever had one crush in my life 😁 #perfectquotes #perfectsayings #quotes #sadsayings #sadquotes #happyquotes #lovequotes #lmaoquotes #lolzorquotes #textposts #textpost #lifequotes #happysayings #sadsayings #freakingperfect #comdeytexts #comedyquotes #lmao #likeforlike #l4l #f4f #followforfollow #sfs - wtfare_u

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