... then it's Monday again!

 

Have a happy one anyway!

 

Cornflower and seed head/ Kornblume und Samenstand (Cyanus segetum Hill, Syn.: Centaurea cyanus L.) -

Botanical Garden, Frankfurt

A rather unproductive week photowise.

 

Started a new job after being invited to the world of redundancy, found it didn’t quite live up to its part time description...7 to 8hrs per day instead of 4.

 

Something has triggered another deliciously agonising episode of g**t, so I’m at a bit of a lower ebb than normal...

 

...in addition our holiday to Spain has been knocked on the head due to a rising spike in Covid...oh the effin joys.

 

So this pic is an alternative take on an earlier posting for which I do not apologise.

 

Anyone from the UK and of a certain vintage may well associate the image with Hovis bread and the strains of the New World Symphony.

This is from sometime back. I was so much into clicking wonderful food pics on these hand painted surface. I have just lost that, as cooking has become such a task. Hopefully I would be back into this, I had posted takes from this session earlier and was revisting and just love how I used chia seeds, flax sseds and walnuts to give final touches to this photo which made all the difference.

A tongue-in-cheek Christmas List

 

I want a new religion, one that doesn't make me feel bad all the time

I want to talk to my Grandfmother in heaven and tell her I love her

I want to change your mind

I want the music industry to quit marketing to me

I want a second chance

I want that notebook back that I lost two years ago - there was some good stuff in there

I want to know where all my socks went

I want to smack a couple of ignorant people around

I want everyone to have a place to sleep and someone who loves them

I want you to know I'm serious

I want to test drive a couple of kids to see if I really want to have children later

I want the water to boil faster when I'm really hungry

I want to go home

I want the tomatoes to taste year-round like they do in the summer

I want everyone to have their own record label, typeface and fanzine

I want to do whatever you want to do

I want that guy on the internet to quit bugging me

I want to leave all my friends something really special in my will

I want you to stop calling me

I want waitresses to quit looking at me funny when I order tea instead of coffee

I want bands like Pearl Jam, Counting Crows and REM to stop being so earnest

I want to be an eccentric old man so I can get away with YELLING ALL THE TIME!

I want an answer

I want to fly in real life just once like I fly in my dreams

I want to have my own TV show and do all the commercials, too

I want you to come over

I want Laurie Anderson to stop...talking... like... that

I want Pamela Anderson to let me in on the joke

I want to rock and roll all night and party every day

I want 2 or 3 people to get what they deserve

I want Sony to give it up with the minidisc - it's just not happening guys

I want you

I want you to want me

I want a law that makes men who spit on the sidewalk have to lick it up

I want to party like it's 1999

I want a bottomless cup of coca cola and clean bathrooms at truck stops

I want you to tell me the truth

I want to be able to see the stars better in New York City

I want people to stop trying to sell me things over the phone

I want to see more men wearing nailpolish

I want some more of that

I want everyone to stop saying "Dude"

I want everyone to start saying "F*ck right off!" - today

I want to know what love is

I want you to show me

I want people to start eating more cheese

I want people to stop farting and blaming it on other people

I want people to stop lying and blaming it on other people

I want to live in a world where rock stars don't have to die to prove anything

I want to know what your favorite fairy tale is

I want candy

I want some extra hands so I can get more stuff done

I want to come up with a new amusement park ride that feels like you're on

really good drugs but doesn't make you want to throw up afterwards

I want more rock and less talk

I want to understand the appeal of White Castle hamburgers, because they taste like

turds on a bun

I want to take a nap

I want cab drivers to start wearing deodorant

I want network anchors to stop with the cute perky hairdos

I want to see anchors in afros, corn-rows, dreadlocks and big-@ssed wigs - go wild!

I want to get off here

I want people to stop saying words like "user" and "interface"

I want someone to play with

I want magazines to stop making me feel so bad about everything and

instead run stories like "You're fabulous! Don't change"

I want to boogie-oogie-oogie 'til we just can't boogie no more

I want someone to develop stamps that actually taste good

I want you to just leave me alone

I want to know what's so funny about peace, love and understanding

I want you to keep your promise

I want you to tell me if I'm asking for too much

 

Nicole Blackman What I Want for Christmas

  

( I want Y'all to have a Merry Christmas! ;~)

 

Merry Christmas from the Family

 

View On Black

He got lost. The Emperor is gonna be p*ssed.

Yet another dogsh*t day for me today. My original plan was to get across the Tyne Valley around Brampton for the 70 on the empty logs, the usual gypsum and 66587 on the l/e move. Well.. the sun didn't shine for the 70, the gypsum was cancelled and I got sh*t out on 66587, though it was only on the back anyway!!

 

After getting done on 66587 at Corby, I thought I'd walk to Cumwhinton to see if I could bag the 6K05 and the logs as the weather was looking promising. So.. I walked for a good hour or so all the way there in full bling only to see 68007 passing me in full bling, running early and costing me a shot of it as I didn't have time to get there. Anyway I waited for the logs which would appear shortly afterwards.. or not.

 

In actual fact, 6J37 turned up 2 hours late.

 

I had spent nearly two and a half hours walking to and then standing at this spot in glorious sunshine with no threat of cloud whatsoever, but as the story goes.. that didn't last!! 6J37 took nearly 40 minutes from Carlisle Yard having got stuck at Caldew Jn and then Carlisle station. This section would normally only take about 15-20 minutes. Needless to say the light collapsed as the logs rounded the corner, which considering I'd been up since 9am and having put so much effort in for very little already, I was beyond p*ssed off.

 

In fact, since 2018 when the 60s retired on the logs, I've not got a single shot of the train in sun. I've even tried to get it at Carlisle station on around 25 occasions, which you'd think would be a safe bet, however I haven't even managed that yet!!

 

This was the only shot I got in sun and of course it had to be a bastard unit. 158903 passes the old site of Cumwhinton station with 1E65 Carlisle-Leeds.

And so we come back to the rain. Even the lions weren't happy with the torrential downpour on this very wet Monday morning!

 

Mopani area

Kruger National Park

Limpopo

South Africa

 

www.photoafrica.net

lady in frilly cuffs...

 

p*ssed off as the watercolour paper buckled due to the heavy wetness of the paint - I have now decided to stop working on watercolour paper!! canvas all the way from now on...This piece is bigger than my usual work at 30cm x 42cm

The big surprise was the 17 year old darkhorse Mitch Ropelato. Mitch would beat the best 4x racers in the country to win the National Champs jersey.

 

Strobists:

Used 2 sb800's. One was on a tripod at 105mm zoom and full power for the main fill on the lead riders, and the other was on the ground at 24 or 14mm zoom and full power for a half @ssed rim for lead riders and mostly fill for trailing riders and to throw a little light on top of the table top. Both were fired with skyports.

 

This theme was actually really fun! I loved the theme on ANTM C.19 so was pretty happy to see it used as a theme in BNDM C.10 too! What I wanted to do was bring out Camden's ghetto/New-Yorker side in this shot since thats what she is most known for (her personality) and I wanted to make her look very bad and very biker chick.

 

Camden: "Last week I was p*ssed since I didn't get called first in judging. Like, judges please I deserved first last week and instead you gave it to Lexxi? Whatever. This weeks shoot was hard for me since being in a jail cell and prison is something that I have been in before. Back when I was a teen I ended up having a life of crime shoplifting and spent a couple of nights alone in a jail cell. Its an experience I don't wanna repeat so when I heard we had to do a shoot in an prison, It did sort of freak me out a little. I can tell I got a good shot though since well, I just know..."

 

CALLED: 01/14

After Odin and his two brothers, Vili and Ve, has seen off the frost giant Ymir and used his body parts to make a place for humans to dwell, Odin carved out area of the sea where he wanted to build his holiday island. This was going to be statement piece of architectural magnificence; he needed the very best planet designer in the business – Slartibartfast*.

 

While famed for the detail of his fjords and twiddly bits, Slati’s greatest work is the area surrounding Vestrahorn**. Famed for its rugged stunning beauty it soon became a Instagram destination, which p*ssed off Odin no end. Odin has now sold Iceland to the Chinese Tourist Board and relocated to Wrexham***.

 

* A little known fact, unless you know it, of course – then you know it well, Slartibartfast was originally called "Phartiphukborlz". But the BBC didn’t like this. Bloody killjoys.

 

** He got an award for it. It sits in pride of place on his mantelpiece.

 

*** A magical place where dreams are created and happiness abounds. And lager is drunk****.

 

**** And so are most of the residents.

 

this was kinda a HDR, but really, its more tonemapped than anything else.

I still think it looks alright.

ach, i had some fly in my room last night, and it kept waking me up by landing on me, all night long! im sooo p*ssed off with it! i even sprayed it with deoderant, but that didnt work!

Back in November I had the pleasure of meeting up with Lloyd Austin who I had been on photoshoots with on previous occasions, plus we have a go at putting the world to rights.

 

I then eagerly awaited the arrival of Dom Houghton, raconteur, explorer and long standing photographer. Someone who I had not had the pleasure of meeting previously.

 

As you can imagine I was somewhat nervous at the prospect.

However my fears were soon allayed as Dom came into view.

 

He looked like a cross between ‘Biggins’ and the ‘Mad Hatter’ who had been through a car wash and the drying cycle was out of action.

It was a challenging afternoon weather wise to put it mildly.

 

Following hilarious introductions, we decided to brave the heavy rain and wonder down to this magnificent beach which in my opinion has a certain aura about it.

 

The weather conditions were not good, so Lloyd and I spent most of the afternoon sheltering behind a large rock. We were as happy as Larry discussing local beers and the like.

 

Credit to Dom he threw caution to the wind, or was it rain, maybe a bit of both and started photographing everything he could train his lens on at this location.

 

Around the time the sun should have set, the rain eased slightly, so Lloyd and I made a dash for it.

Think I took 8 shots in total this being one of them.

 

As the light faded the 3 of us trudged back to our vehicles.

The inbuilt windscreen wipers on our wet suits working overtime.

 

A great afternoon spent in the company of 2 wonderful people.

Certain people on Flickr were brought up in conversation during the afternoon, if your ears were burning, tough.

 

Looking forward to our next adventure Lloyd and Dom

 

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend, though it sounds a case of batten down the hatches again.

🍻🍻🍻🍷🍷🍷😂😂😂

 

P7056514 copy

youtu.be/fbtBKfM7yY4

 

a shimmy shimmy cocoa cocoa pu- pu – f-ckin puffs b-tch

it’s the k-k-kid rock with the k-k-kid rock sh-t. i’m on top b-tch and rock for tricks

h-lla whips and nips and flip trips for whips

i get all the money p-ssy falls like rain been gettin laid and paid that’s why i never complain

if i ain’t in it for the money, i’m in it for the p..

 

it’s 1998 yo and you still can’t f-ck with me.

 

you don’t be f-ckin with the blue eye f-ckin with my 2-5 hope your f-ckin -ss like my shoe size

i got a new vibe, kinda like voodoo, you do what we say and we’ll do what we want to

 

we’re f-ckin up your city and we’re f-ckin up your progam

f-ckin all your b-tches we don’t f-ckin give a god d-mn

twisted brown gets down with no -ssistance

we won’t quit until we’re banned from existence

persistence pays if that holds true

then i’m a buy this f-ckin planet before the time i’m through

i was praised and raised on the thoughts of no fakin

so i’m gonna get what i got coming and the rest i’m takin

 

i’m shakin like jerry lee lewis and sh-t

you act like a motherf-cker’s new at this sh-t

but i’ve been true to this sh-t given my heart and soul

been shinin like a diamond but gettin p-ssed as coal

 

so f-ck off

yeah

 

with my pants half hangin off my -ass and sh-t

bowl filled with hash pockets stuffed with cash

i be the mushroom trippin sippin shots of jack

cause the kids don’t listen gettin lots of flack

i be the do wa diddy up and down yo block and

the ten karat kid with my triggers cockin

the k the i the d r o c k motherf-cker and you still don’t know me.

 

so blow me b-tch i don’t rock for cancer

i rock for the cash and the topless dancers

don’t have no answers so pass the joint

i’m just paid in full and made in Detroit

i ride like setta in the indy five

and get live with that which get’s me high strive for perfection this much is true

we do what we say

you say what we do

 

kid rock i couldn’t be no bozo

and i get too much p to ever be no h-m-o

rock from so ho to arizona

i’m an easy rider dreamin of wynonna

 

i roam the country like a greyhound bus put faith in l-st and in god i trust. i’m not peter pan i don’t f-ck with fairies

but i bust more rhymes than virgin cherries and harry carey couldn’t call my game f-cked so many hoes i’m in the hall of fame and i show no shame from coast to coast

i don’t mean to brag,

but i like to boast

 

f-ck off

 

yeah right in your mother f-ckin -ss b-tch with that Detroit city sh-t ain’t sh-t switched we’re on the same script. nothing new since 76 kid rock yo slim shady come break these mother f-ckers off

 

yo tell the world to hold their breath they’re breathing the wrong air.

this planet belongs to me and this hippy with long hair

two white boys who spike punch and light jointshang around drugs loud music and like noise.

 

slim shady and brown trucker another bunch of mother f-ckers

who hate the world as much as each other, and i ain’t leaving this party tonight

till i see some naked b-tches dancin around drunk touchin each other.

rum and pepsi got your perception of me sketchy

cause when i stage dive people are scared to catch me

cause all i do is curse and f-ck

so when i do shrooms you all better give me two rooms

cause i’m f-ckin the first one up.

 

so when you see me on your block you better lock your cars

cause you know i’m losin it when i’m rappin to rock guitars

this is for children who break rules people that straight fool

and ever single teenager that hates school

 

f-ck off

...as they say in Spain..the grammar's all bass ackwards don'tcha know?

 

Who is Pete? My youngest daughters fiancé, and a thoroughly nice bloke too.

 

And yes I should have moved the cutlery .. can I plead pleasantly p!ssed? ;))

The last picture before the sensor in my lovely Nikon Df failed.......gutted, annoyed, angry and generally p*ssed off are some the emotions that I'm currently feeling........and being on a yacht for the summer, moving to new locations every few days compounds my problems as sending the damn thing back to Nikon and getting it safely returned to me will not be easy..............

 

Nikkor 20mm AF f2.8D

Pennine Blue C816 CBU, named "Slobadob" in reference to veteran children's TV characters, Bill and Ben - said utterance being the extent of the dialogue between the two flower-pot men.

 

The Dodge had been new to GM and a Little Gem dome is still carried as a cheeky little reference by Pennine Blue management. In fact she actually pre-dates the Little Gem brand, and indeed deregulation itself, having been new to the PTE in July 1986.

 

Ashton, Bus Station, 24/07/1993.

hi guys Peugeot guy here.

I did find 2 of these but 1 my dad ran over with his van by accident. I was p*ssed but at least I have this one. they are brand new too.

Victorian cemetery in Derby.

 

Went to try to cheer myself up after a harrowing week of hospital visits...it didn't work :(

The patina on this would suggest it had sat in a barn from new... whoever made that registration plate was p!ssed too... The 8 is upside down.

tanker vessel Volgoneft-242 (Волгонефть-242) MMSI: 273351010 of the 1577 project built in 1974

in the distance: general cargo vessels ST-2003 "Zosma" of the ST-2000 type, R-25B design built in 1980 (DWT: 1156-2500 t Length Overall x Breadth Extreme: 97.3 x 12.7 m; Port of Registry: Nizhny Novgorod) and Salavat (Салават) ST-1300 type on loading with timber (ST-1359 IMO: 8898489 General cargo vessel ST-1300 type, R-168/K-90 design built in 1988).

 

tanker vessel Волгонефть-242 MMSI: 273351010 of 1577 project built in 1974

Завод: Волжский судостроительно-судоремонтный завод

Проект: 1577

Тип судна: однопалубный двухвинтовой наливной теплоход с двойным дном, двойными бортами, баком и ютом, надстройкой и МО в кормовой части, переходным мостиком в ДП судна.

Назначение: перевозка в речных условиях нефтепродуктов I и II классов с удельным весом 0,8 кг/м³ и нефтепродуктов III и IV классов, требующих подогрева. Перевозка в морских условиях нефтепродуктов, допускающих применение инертных газов в грузовых трюмах.

 

Место постройки:

Волгоградский ССЗ (Россия, г. Волгоград);

ССРЗ "Иван Димитров" / Rousse Shipyard (Болгария, г. Русе).

 

Класс Регистра: "М"; РРР

Характеристики:

Длина: 132,6 м

Ширина: 16,9 м

Высота борта: 5,5 м

Высота габаритная: 14 м

Водоизмещение в грузу (керосин, 4875 т): 6513 т

Осадка в грузу (керосин, 4875 т): 3,62 м

Водоизмещение порожнем: 1502 т

Осадка порожнем (кормой/носом): 0,06/1,82 м

Валовая рег. вместимость: 3566 рег. т

Чистая рег. вместимость: 1760 рег. т

Скорость в грузу: 20 км/ч

Мест для экипажа: 22-23

Автономность: 7 суток

Марка ГД: дизель 8NVD48A

Мощность ГД: 2х736 кВт

Марка ДГ: дизель 6NVD24, генератор SSED-409-8 (на первых судах) и ДГР100/750 (дизель 6Ч18/22, генератор ГСС103-8М)

Мощность ДГ: 3х88 кВт и 3х100 кВт

 

ST-2003, Zosma, ST-2000, SOT (project R-25, A, AM, AU, B), project R-25B

Dry cargo double-screw vessel with a splash-proof hatch cover, tank, engine room and superstructure in the stern.

Project R-25 B

Year of construction of the lead ship: 1979.

Shipbuilding company: Самусьский ССРЗ (РСФСР, п. Самусь)

Carrying capacity (t): 1156 - 2500.

Displacement (t): 5366.4

Length (m): 97.30

Width (m): 12.70

Draft (m): 2.46

Height (m): 14.00

Power (hp): 1800

 

Salavat (Салават) ST-1359 IMO: 8898489 General cargo vessel ST-1300 type, R-168/K-90 design built in 1988

Class: KM* Ice1 R2-RSN

Gross Tonnage: 1456 t

Summer DWT: 1533 t

Draft: 2.56 m

Length Overall x Breadth Extreme: 82 x 12.3 m

Depth 3.5 m

Crew: 10

Power: 2x440kW (2 diesels 8VDS-36/24A-1)

Built in USSR at 1988 by Судостроительно-судоремонтный завод им.40-й годовщины Октября ВОРП МРФ РСФСР. г. Октябрьский

Port of Registry: Saint Petersburg

Owner: Neva-Hagen

  

Pride and Prejudice... Turn the other cheek?

 

I haven't seen Myles around much in the last weeks, but I’ll use one of his catchphrases 'brain fart' to describe the following, I’m sure he’d approve, and it's perfect to describe this bit of warm air that I would rather not have smelt in the first place.

 

So..... Someone farted in my general direction, and I feel the need to respond, and sticking with the windy / arse metaphors I know that by taking the bait, you run the risk of ending up sounding worse than the provocation that got to you in the first place. And I've had a laugh with and at any of my flickr contacts caught throwing hissy-fits in the past, so i'm also aware i'm setting myself up here by rambling on about it.

 

But I don't rant much, and for reasons that will become clear, I’m going to say my piece anyway. I’ve ignored most of the annoying provocations that come from sharing yourself via you art to a global audience (Including actual photo-theft where I found someone blatantly downloading and re-posting my pictures, and being told that i shouldn't use a lensbaby or photoshop to have fun with my work) usually preferring to let my pictures do the talking, and realising that they are only pictures, meant to be enjoyed and any negative energy created is missing the point.

 

So rather than wasting an hour of my life here just expressing annoyance, I thought I’d try and turn it into a positive discussion and maybe learn something from it, I always enjoy hearing the thoughts that these sort of 'brain farts' provoke, and I’ve come to respect the opinions of many of you who provide them.

 

---------------------------

 

So what p*ssed me off?

 

Finding a comment on a photo i posted last week, that led me to a discussion thread, where someone was implying my shot was artistic theft because he had posted a shot with the same subject and composition days before, and that after seeing his photo I had deliberately rushed out to copy him.

 

You can probably tell by now that it did annoy me, but many things in life annoy me and I let them go, life’s too short and I’ve had painful reminders of that fact this year.

 

But I read on (of course you would too, it's only natural to be curious) and got even more irked when I read that 'I see it all the time from people with 'their digi-cams' , OK, so now I’m a thief and it's only to be expected because I use a digital camera (for the record, I use both, and sometimes a pencil if we want to get really Luddite about it)

 

And the final straw was reading that he said "I’m trying to capture the island I live on in a unique way. I'm looking for shots that help me stand out from the crowd and let people see the island in a different way away from all of the touristy type pictures.". So now I’m a thief, not a proper photographer because it wasn't using film, and I’m taking tourist snapshots in an un-unique way :)

 

All this about a *subject and composition I’ve already shot many times before, in a photo that i had publicly expressed admiration for.

 

That's a lot of cheeks to turn, and my inner kick-boxer pushed my inner Gandhi aside and decided to respond. I'll probably link to this from the thread (if I’m allowed in the group) and mail the person in question inviting him to read this, I’ll let you know if the response gets all Medieval and we end up duelling with pistols at dawn, some of you can come and take photos, now that would be artistic!

 

---------

 

Pride or Prejudice?

 

The bible says it’s a sin, a popular expression has it 'coming before a fall', but I think there can be also be a positive side to it, and as an artist I believe it’s good to have pride in your work.

 

So, the suggestion of 'artistic theft' is enough to get my back up (and its probably slanderous too, I make my living as a creative and I’m thinking that might qualify as professional defamation of character or something similar, I’ll have my lawyers look into it :)

 

But the main reason for writing all this is to recognise the annoyance and anger that made me have dark thoughts of retribution when i thought he was talking about me (there's a small primeval part of me that is still favouring this route as I know and enjoy the honesty and satisfaction that you get from a good fight from studying Kick-boxing, but that’s only cool when equally matched, consenting people do it in a dojo/boxing ring) so having a brain-fart to stop it taking up space in my head seems like a good choice, life is too short to hang onto negative vibes like this. And of course I know that 'Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent' and I should adopt the hippy / Gandhi / Kenny Rogers approach of turning the other cheek, because I’m also a father, and I need to lead by example, and what kind of example is it to react with anger to the words of a stranger, especially in the climate we have here in the UK right now where people are stabbed every day because they 'disrespected' someone.

 

--------

 

Some background

 

For about the last 15 years I’ve been 'documenting' life on the cliffs in the west wight, in pencil, oil, acrylic, water-colour, gouache, mosaic, and with both film and digital photography. I'd guess more than a third of the 1,099 shots I’ve posted to flickr in the last few years have in some way been part of that process and exploring that theme, but as flickr only amounts to less than 1% of the shots I keep it would be a conservative guess to say I have hundreds of shots on the theme already.

 

Subjects include the geography and geology of the cliffs, the relationship with the waves that pound against them, everything that happens up there, the people, the things they do there (from para-gliding to sitting, thinking, watching sailing, checking the surf) the signs and monuments, lighthouses and buildings they erect, the plants that grow wild there and the animals that also call it home (cows being a favourite and very popular subject)

 

Last week I posted a picture of cows on the edge of the cliff at Compton Farm,

 

www.flickr.com/photos/s0ulsurfing/2633778922/

 

to my mind a not particularly good or noteworthy shot ( I quite liked the dramatic sky in the background but wasn’t really happy with the position of the cows themselves, but they don't really co-operate and stand where you might like.) But it was ok in the context of previous shots, particularly 'take care cliff edges are dangerous' and in the midst of life we are in death'

 

www.flickr.com/search/?w=24424426@N00&q=take+care.+cl...

 

www.flickr.com/photos/s0ulsurfing/2293827778/

 

or maybe even as an update of the many I’ve taken of the same cows in the same field.

 

www.flickr.com/photos/s0ulsurfing/289690355/

www.flickr.com/photos/s0ulsurfing/2324964692/

www.flickr.com/photos/s0ulsurfing/514427794/

www.flickr.com/photos/s0ulsurfing/517460396/

 

This one with the same compositional idea

 

www.flickr.com/photos/s0ulsurfing/2323807106/

 

or sheep in the same composition

 

www.flickr.com/photos/s0ulsurfing/493415465/

 

or a human silhouette in the same spot

 

www.flickr.com/photos/s0ulsurfing/510539952/

 

or a para-glider above the same spot

 

www.flickr.com/photos/s0ulsurfing/2610230368/

 

or the way they're falling into the sea

 

www.flickr.com/photos/s0ulsurfing/2428671420/

 

or the wildflowers that grow upon them

 

www.flickr.com/photos/s0ulsurfing/874461347/

 

I could literally do this for hours......

 

This might be getting boring now, bit I’m also discovering just how much of a recurring theme it has been as I write this (this is the worthwhile bit for me, I’m seeing my own motivations more clearly as a result of saying all this crap) and how no matter how hard you try, you can't avoid clichés and re-treading common ground.

 

To many, including myself, we delight in working our way through all the photographic clichés, and having seen this as a subject from all over the world and MANY times on the island and in my own stream already, I think it’s almost up there with the puppies and kittens in shoes and the classic spiral staircase shot, not really that unique or thought provoking, but interesting in the small details of the way you choose to present the familiar.

 

------------

 

Owning ideas?

 

If you had an idea to document the cows living near the edge, a good idea, would you think it was exclusively yours, or you were the first, and deserved to be the last to explore that theme, as I’ve said above, I’ve been doing it for 15 years, and I think there were hundreds if not thousands doing it before me, no doubt there will be many after. Do you think a person can own an idea? or that your attempts are more valid because you're shooting film* in B&W (yep, the snide comments about digi-camera users definitely haven't gone unnoticed this time :)

 

*btw, and its a slight digression, what I’ve seen many times is how some (and only a certain special few) people with film cameras seem to think it makes their pov and photographic work somehow more worthy and important than a shot taken with a digital camera, why is that? I find that pretty funny. It's not the cameras or type of people, it's just a mindset that can exist, and its not a reverse prejudice or envy on my part (it's great to use a cliche like this :) because some of my best friends are film photographers :) and if anything i have a great respect for those that work that way, and the skills and techniques required

 

Anyway, the discussion thread contains many brilliant and funny responses, puncturing the main argument far better than I could, and even some supporting it, including some telling him he's brilliant and I’m just trying to be like him (emulation) so there's no need to repeat them all again here, and opinions are like *ssholes, everyone's got one, I just thought it fair to have my say too seeing as so many strangers were passing judgement on me and the accuser hadn't felt like including me in the discussion up to now.

 

------------

 

So what started out as me liking a shot from someone else on flickr, taking the time to comment and say so (before the photo was deleted and then re-posted) and then having the good fortune to finally have an interesting sky as a backdrop when exploring my familiar theme during my regular walk on the cliffs, ends up in me being labelled a thief.

 

But, the interesting part for me is the idea of inspirations and how they evolve, and because of this I got to read many funny and Illuminating responses (my favourite was.... ideas are the spermatozoa of cultural evolution, breeding in the minds of others. )

 

Isn’t that one of the reasons we all take part in the social network, and put our pictures on flickr open to the preying photo-thieves and commercial bloggers who do it for the adsense revenue. To be inspired by the other work we see and to grow our own understanding of the medium, composition and techniques (I started a set a few months back especially for that exact purpose, recognising those on flickr who have genuinely been an inspiration to me, funnily enough, the first one was a film photographer)

 

I think it's easy to take yourself too seriously as an artist? and I’m pretty sure I’m taking myself too seriously by getting involved in replying with this brain fart....doh!

 

Who knows, maybe this will be read, taken in the right spirit, apologies will be made and we'll become best of friends, or maybe a load of film photographers will try and beat me up for shooting on their turf, it’s a funny old world; I wonder what the cows would make of it all, probably just keep on chewing the cud and enjoying the view.

 

Love peace and bananas

J.

  

Waiting for my GLW to finish clearing the shelves at El Corte Inglés caught this lady looking p!ssed off.

I went to Torbay for a day and it p*ssed down the whole time! Anyway, seen here, in the rain at Newton Abbot, is Stagecoach Devon 18072 (WA04 CSV), an Alexander ALX400 bodied Dennis Trident (or technically Transbus), recently reacquired to cover for the delayed introduction of the (electric) Alexander Dennis E40EVs. This bus was new to Torquay back in March 2004 and has toured both Scotland and Wales before returing home earlier this year.

Can someone please sort out that sidelight?!

Apparently Frances "Fanny" Nelson, Viscountess Nelson, and wife of Admiral Horatio Nelson was so p-ssed off at him always being away fighting and harassing the French fleets that when she got word that he had landed at Portsmouth and was on his way home for some R and R she got all his underwear, slit them up the front, and hung them out as 'flags' in the Tower hamlet where they lived. She was such a clever woman, conversant with Naval and nautical ways, that she not only knew how to use a sextant to work out her position from the sun and stars, but also how to signal by flag using semaphore.

 

Her hero husband spotted his home from afar and could see the gaily coloured 'flags' from where he was but he could make no sense of them where they hung from the lanyards.. His unease grew to real concern as the carriage got closer, and he could hear the footmen and carriage driver (as well as a couple of drunken Venetian gondoliers), guffaw and giggle, but he only had one good eye, and even that was a bit iffy. He grabbed his telescope and in between the jolts and lurches of the horse-drawn carriage he managed to read the flags one at a time. He read, "Your tea is in the oven and please can you walk the dog and tidy up the house a bit before you go to bed. I'm off out partying with my girlfriends, and I'll be back late. And I'll be tired so don't get any ideas of sex, even if it is nine months since you were last in our bed. You might be desperate but I'm not. Our window cleaner has been doing a great job while you have been losing yourself an arm and a leg. See you later, love!"

 

Well, apparently Horatio was lost for words, and immediately ripped the 'flags' down the moment he got in the front door of the now empty house. He swore the carriage driver and footmen to silence. Unfortunately, the experience hurt him badly, especially when he found out the window cleaner was French. But it is to England's benefit that this event scarred Lord Nelson so deeply for he turned on all things French with a vengeance, destroying their fleets wherever he found them on the oceans. Inside he secretly seethed, "You f--- with my wife, and I will f--- you!" It was with this rattling round in his head, that as he approached his final encounter with the French at the Battle of Trafalgar, reminded of his wife's antics with his underwear, he came up with the now famous flag signal, with expletives deleted, that said " England expects every man to do his duty!" And so, as he lay dying on the deck of HMS Victory, shot by a French sniper hiding in the rigging, he demanded, "Kiss me Hardy!" The poor man was only doing his duty.

 

For those of a sceptical nature I can at least say this is Nelson's monument on Calton Hill overlooking the great city of Edinburgh

Me and Batman have been driving in the batmobile for roughly 30 minutes, after dropping Oswald off at prison. It's quiet... I'm kinda mad at Batman, I barely did anything to help fend off against the crocodile guy, or the weird ice guy. I should tell him how I feel, so we're on the same page.

 

Robin: I'm a little p#ssed you didn't let me help you stop those guys.

 

Batman: What I'm a little "p#ssed" about is how you killed someone.

 

I should've expected that... He's been pretty bitter ever since I did that. It wasn't on purpose... I heard this voice in my head, it sorta distracted me... I felt almost like I wasn't there, as if the voice was controlling me.

 

Robin: I'm sorry, okay?! It wasn't on purpose...

 

Batman: It wasn't on purpose?! We lost a man's life, Jason! And you caused this to happen. I trusted you. You seemed strong, and able to help me stop this city from corruption.

 

Robin: I can, okay? That was just one time, you can't just hold me back like that.

 

Batman: I'm just... I'm just not sure I can, Jason. After what you did... That's a line I've never crossed, and never will. And you shouldn't either.

 

Robin: It wasn't my fault!

 

He faced me, suddenly.

 

Batman: Then who's fault was it, Jason?!!

 

Robin: I... uh...

 

Batman: ...That's what I thought.

 

The silence came back, for a second...

 

Batman, looking back at the road: ...Sorry I yelled at you, I-... I'm just not sure you're ready for this.

 

He turned on a road, that I didn't recognize as the one he took to the cave before.

 

Robin: W-...Where are we going?

 

Batman: I'm taking you back somewhere, temporarily. Where do your parents live?

 

Robin: No way you're putting me back there, I can help you!

 

Batman: Not yet. I'll contact you again when you're ready, but right now, you're far from ready.

 

Robin: *sigh*... Okay...

 

I looked out the window, as the car stopped. I looked over at Batman, his hands were still on the wheel, but he wasn't moving...

 

Robin: Uh...

 

???: Hello.

 

I turned back to the window... I saw a figure standing there. He wore a black hood, with a red mask.

 

Robin: Um... Hi? Who are you?

 

???: The name's Hood. Don't wear it out... You're Jason, I presume.

 

Robin: Y-... Yes? What's going on?

 

I recognized his voice. It was the voice in my head, something like this happened when I killed that Polka-Dot guy.

 

Hood: Nothing much... Just wanted to chat.

 

Robin: Um... I meant about the world freezing, and whatnot-

 

He interrupted me.

 

Hood: Bruce is annoying you a bit, isn't he?

 

Robin: Yeah... Yeah, he is. He just doesn't understand where I'm coming from, you know? Like, he doesn't try to understand anything he doesn't, he just doesn't get it.

 

Hood: I totally get it. Bats is a d#ck, plain and simple. He's a dark, emotionless, jerk who doesn't care for others. He just cares about himself, and what's "right". But he never crosses his stupid line, wanna know why? Cause he's a coward. A real hero has the balls to shoot a bad guy in the face. He deserved it, he's a bad guy.

 

Robin: Yeah... Yeah, that's true! That Polka-Dot Man was covered in blood, I doubt all that was just his..!

 

Hood: Exactly. He deserved it. You know who else is a bad guy?

 

Robin: W-...Who?

 

He pointed over my shoulder, at Batman... I looked over at him, he was still frozen in place.

 

Hood: You know what to do.

 

I looked back over at Hood, and everything went back to normal.

 

Batman: Almost there... I'm dropping you off outside Wayne Tower, take off your suit in the alley so they don't see you when you walk in.

 

I was silent... I knew what I had to do. That "Hood" guy seemed so much smarter than Bruce... What loss was there from killing that douche bag anyway? I put my hand on the steering wheel, and jolted it to the side. I just heard Bruce scream, as we rammed into a wall.

 

~Madam Web

Arcade kept standing there, wheezing and coughing. (Seriously, writer, think of better words than using "cough" and "wheeze" over and over. Thanks.)

 

Arcade: *cough*... Or, you could get to it now.

 

(For you new comers, he's responding to something I said at the end of the last issue. Go back and read it!) Okay, so, a metal arm comes from Arcade's belt, and cleans off the burns on his face... His belt then extends, covering up to his shoulders, with metal armor.

 

Arcade: Ha ha! It's time for the final boss!!!

 

Deadpool: Final? So this is finally over?!

 

Arcade: Well, I have a strong suspicion I'm gonna die soon anyway.

 

The door continues to get banged on...

 

Arcade: So, make the most of it, I guess.

 

He pointed a gun that was attached to his armor at Negasonic...

 

Deadpool: M'kay, cool, I assume this suit thingy was planned from the beginning, so you'd probably be p#ssed if I did this..!

 

I swung my sword at him, but it didn't do anything. Just hit his armor, it just touched it.

 

Arcade: Ha ha ha!!! Oh, Wade. You really think I made something weak for your final antagonist?!

 

He turned his gun over to me, and shot me in the head! I blasted back, my mask ripping off my face.

 

Deadpool: Ouch... Lucky I'll just have it back in the next issue for no reason.

 

I got back up, and spun around in a circle, spinning both of my swords at him. All the hits did nothing to his armor, except the last one, which left the tinniest scratch, I could barely see it.

 

Deadpool: Damn it.

 

Negasonic looked at him, and an explosion came from under him. It did nothing.

 

Negasonic: ...What?

 

Arcade: Sorry, but you have to try harder than that!

 

Arcade shot at Negasonic, but she caught his laser with her telekinesis, and swung it back at him. It hit his chest, and still did nothing.

 

Negasonic: Ugh...

 

She turned to me...

 

Negasonic: You can't die, right?

 

Deadpool: Mhm!

 

She lifted her arms, and the ceiling started to cave in... Explosions appeared around her, and fire lit up her eyes...

 

Negasonic: Agh..!!!

 

Explosions came one after another in a trail, leading towards Arcade! Flames lit up the room, and things like pipes and chunks of cement started coming from a gap in the ceiling, being thrown at him! Her hair went up, as she put her arms behind her...

 

Negasonic: Aghh!!!!!

 

The bags in the room turned into metal spikes, and were flung at Arcade, followed by more explosions, and a wave of smoke filling the room...

 

Deadpool: *cough*... Holy sh#t, how did you do that...

 

Negasonic: I can do a lot of things. He's dead, btw, I have foresight.

 

The smoke fled the room... Arcade was still standing there, spotless.

 

Arcade: Ha.

 

Deadpool: ...How!?

 

Arcade: Even Prometheus was strapped to the stone. Foresight means nothing, compared to raw strength.

 

Suddenly, Arcade's head was cut off.

 

Deadpool, looking down: ...What!?

 

I looked back up... Turns out, Negasonic's powers broke the door open. Taskmaster killed Arcade. Arcade must've protected his face somehow during Negasonic's god moment.

 

Negasonic: Well, my foresight was right. Just for the wrong reasons.

 

Deadpool: Finally, this sh#t is over.

 

Taskmaster: Not quite. Arcade may be dead, but evil people are still out there. I'd like to be of service.

 

~Madam Web

Q: How do you keep a man from drowning??? A: Take your foot off his head??

 

TOTALLY just kidding!!!!! Don't ask me why I thought of this but my hubby is a very good sport... LOL

Been on holiday to Barcelona. All I can say is, Gaudi, Gaudi, Gaudi...genius, genius, genius. A man who truly understood light and space...and colour!

 

Unfortunately, upon arriving home and loading up the second of my memory cards, the card reader corrupted the card and I lost the majority of the images I took while in Barcelona, and to make it worse they were among the best shots I took, not to mention losing personal shots of Jay, her daughter Kath and granddaughter Elly. To say I'm p*ssed off doesn't even begin to encompass my frustration, anger and sadness at losing those images. I've never had a card fail on me before so it's particularly irksome that it was my card reader that committed the dirty deed. Hopefully, one day I'll go back to further enjoy and photograph the wonders of Gaudi's creations – the Sagrada Familia...truly astonishing! – but I'll never be able to recreate the personal images of Jay and I, and that does leave a bad taste in my mouth. Ah well, ces't la vie, eh! The one positive thing is that Jay shot a plethora of images, arty and personal, so I will have some record of our moments together. Oh yes, thank the techno god Apple for the iphone, I at least have some images of the Sagrada Familia!

 

I hope you're all well and enjoying(?) the good(?) weather! Will be doing my best to catch up over the next week or so.

As you expect from the band's name, a performance full of attitude and energy - at the Concorde 2 in Brighton

 

www.thedollsrock.com/

Each year since my hubby and I have been together I buy one of these Le Bien ornaments from Pier 1. Yesterday I wanted to take a pic. I never put it back on the tree. I was p*ssed off at cable last night because in the middle of a great Christmas movie.. it went blank. When I tossed the remote on the table... yes I broke the corner... LOL. JACKA$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In the meantime my hubby lost his wedding ring while snowblowing!!!!!!

 

I told him this means we will be getting divorced... ROFLMAO!!!! It's definitely going to be a crazy Christmas!!!!!!!

 

I hope you all have your last minute everything done and enjoy a wonderful day today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

If I don't 'see' you tomorrow...

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!

Kev was a master of Kung-Fu, he had studied many styles, the mantis, the dying fly, the drunken bee and of course his own unique style, the angry wasp. Wasps had a natural advantage in Kung-Fu, they were calm, extremely fast and deadly even without training. Kev had been honing his skill from even before he had pupated; Sheila had sent him to train under sifu Albert at the garden’s most exclusive academy as soon as he had hatched. Kev had absorbed all of Albert’s training and had now left the academy and developed his own style. As a forerunner in his field he was often asked to perform “jobs” for the wasp gang, but the true essence of Kung-Fu had pervaded his whole psyche and he preferred to collect flowers. Don’t get me wrong here, if you p*ssed Kev off and he thought he or his family was in danger, you had better put your head between your legs and kiss your butt goodbye, he was lethal. Kev was a good bloke, peaceful, serene and the baddest mother in the whole garden.

tanker vessel Volgoneft-118 of 550A project built in 1974 by the Ivan Dimitrov Shipyard / Rousse Shipyard (Bulgaria, Rousse)

Type of vessel: single-deck twin-screw bulk carrier with double bottom, double sides, tank and yut, superstructure and MO in aft part, transition bridge in DP of the vessel.

Purpose: transportation in river conditions of oil products of I and II classes with specific weight of 0,8 kg/m³ and oil products of III and IV classes requiring heating. Transportation in sea conditions of oil products allowing use of inert gases in cargo holds.

Volgoneft type project variants: 1577, 550, 550A, 558, 630

Place of construction:

Volgograd SSRZ (Russia, Volgograd);

Ivan Dimitrov Shipyard / Rousse Shipyard (Bulgaria, Rousse).

 

Register class: "M"; RRR

Characteristics:

Length: 132.6 m

Width: 16,9 m

Side height: 5.5 m

Overall height: 14 m

Cargo displacement (kerosene, 4875 tons): 6513 т

Draft in cargo (kerosene, 4875 tons): 3,62 м

Empty displacement: 1502 tons

Empty draft (stern/nose): 0.06/1.82 m

Gross reg. tonnage: 3,566 reg. tons

Net reg. tonnage: 1760 reg. tons

Speed in cargo: 20 km/h

Seats for crew: 22-23

Autonomy: 7 days

Engine make: diesel 8NVD48A

Engine power: 2x736 kW

DG brand: 6NVD24 diesel engine, SSED-409-8 generator (on the first ships) and DGR100/750 (6Ch18/22 diesel engine, GSS103-8M generator).

DG power: 3x88 kW and 3x100 kW

 

This May's [2010] edition of the brightonsource has a feature on Beachdown 2009 which never happened and left a lot of people p*ssed off.

 

I was lucky enough to get one of my images published alongside the feature - big thanks to The James Kendall Of The Pistoleers

Fresh as a daisy--

--and about 2,000 times as p*ssed!

 

Catowl...

This is a magic catowl for #caturday ... my photo of an owl with my very p*ssed off cat's' head 😁

#cat #chimera #catowl #loves_united_life

Roma - Zenza Bronica ETRS Fuji Reala 100

Naturey crap...even though I *hate* nature today, cos its given me the worst, worst ever, ever hayfever, which has p!ssed me off completely...I still wandered to a very unkempt area near me to take some shots of these sweet poppies with this ancient old 50mm lense.

 

My poppy inspiration

Some re-edits from a "Sex P*ssed Dolls" gig at the Concorde 2, Brighton

Jazzmo had a BAD day. A series of indignities with her vet including a drugged session of teeth-cleaning, then when the unmentionable happened on the way home, she had to go to the bath place! Here she is mid-cleaning, bleary-eyed & miserable--but always so tolerant.

I am sooo proud of the American Flag... I take shots of it every chance I get... get p*ssed off when I see a torn and ragged one... and get aggravated when I see people hang them the incorrect way... LOL...

 

Below are the words to the National Anthem.. and the rest of the words to the Star Spangled Banner. I wrote the National Anthem from heart... I know all the words and always sing at events. I ONLY learned through teaching my son when he was a Cub Scout. Do you know the words?

 

Although I usually get p*ssed off at politicians (THEY are ruining everything)... I will always love my country!!!!!!! THANK YOU to all who have and ARE serving our country and protecting our flag and FREEDOM.

 

Okay sorry so long.. off to the gym but I'll be back... working today cuz not doing anything until tomorrow!!! Hope you are all having a fantastic day and a wonderful 4th!!!!!!

 

National Anthem

Oh say can you seeee

By the dawn's early light

What so proudly we hail

at the twilight's last gleaming

 

Whose broad stripes and bright stars

Through the perilous fight

O'er the ramparts we watched were so galantly streaming

 

And the rocket's red glare

the bombs bursting in air

Gave proof through the night

that our flag was still there

 

Ohhh say does that star spangle banner yet wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave

 

The rest......

On the shore dimly seen, thro' the mists of the deep,

Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,

What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,

As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?

Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,

In full glory reflected, now shines on the stream;

'Tis the star-spangled banner: oh, long may it wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

  

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore

That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion

A home and a country should leave us no more?

Their blood has wash'd out their foul footstep's pollution.

No refuge could save the hireling and slave

From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave,

And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

  

Oh, thus be it ever when free men shall stand,

Between their loved homes and the war's desolation;

Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the heav'n-rescued land

Praise the Power that has made and preserved us as a nation.

Then conquer we must, when our cause is just,

And this be our motto: "In God is our trust";

And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

 

Written by Francis Scott Key on September 14th,1814.

   

The Trail of Tears passed by the U.S. Congress for Indian Removal to Oklahoma was one of the Darkest Chapters in American History. My part Cherokee and Choctaw blood is still P_ssed off about this. Over 20 million acres stolen by the same United States I served in the U.S. Marine Corps. Hold the phone- its not the same United States. When will the U.S. Congress right this past WRONG.---Never.

I had the idea to take a family photo of my dolls in front of the little Christmas tree we got this year.. originally I was going to take/upload this photo on Christmas eve.. but to be honest, this morning I got really bored. xD So I thought I'd upload it early.. and I only really am going to upload this sh*tty photo, because I was getting so p*ssed while making it. xDDDD

 

so obviously, I'm not entirely satisfied with the results, as many of them don't look very much "into it", but okay. :p also could you please excuse the messy background? bahahaha, this was taken in the entrance room to our house, so yeah ... xDDD

hahaha, and, Milla demanded that she was at the top of the tree, as she is the angel. :3 I also intended Esther to look a bit "fiercer" (maha), but it didnt end too well.. as she sort of fell out of her pose without me noticing.. which sux.. but okay. (I say "and" too much. :B)

 

I hope you all have a gorgeous Christmas, and a Happy New Year... my dolls wish so too ♥

and btw, this year, two new girls are going to join our little brood, as you see above... but I'm not saying who. :wwww

 

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand finaalllyyyyy, early Happy Birthday to Akyta, Kumiko and Yoshi! ♥ ^______^ ♥

Papessa Giovamma

La papessa Giovanna sarebbe stata l'unica figura di papa donna, che avrebbe regnato sulla Chiesa con il nome di Giovanni VIII dall'853 all'855. È considerata dagli storici alla stregua di un mito o di una leggenda medievale[1], probabilmente originato nel mondo ortodosso[senza fonte] antipapale, e poi sicuramente ripresa dal potere temporale francese in conflitto col papato. La leggenda ottenne in Occidente un qualche grado di plausibilità a causa di elementi intriganti contenuti nella storia.

Panoramica

Secondo la narrazione, si trattava di una donna inglese, educata a Magonza che, per mezzo dei suoi convincenti e ingannevoli travestimenti in abiti maschili, riuscì a farsi monaco con il nome di Johannes Anglicus per poi salire al soglio pontificio, alla morte di Papa Leone IV (17 luglio 855), con il nome di Giovanni VIII.

Sembra che la papessa non praticasse l'astinenza sessuale e rimase quindi incinta di uno dei suoi tanti amanti. Durante la solenne processione di Pasqua nella quale il Papa tornava al Laterano dopo aver celebrato messa in San Pietro, mentre il Corteo Papale era nei pressi della basilica di San Clemente, la folla entusiasta si strinse attorno al cavallo che portava il Pontefice. Il cavallo del Papa, impaurito, reagì violentemente provocando a "Papa Giovanni" un travaglio prematuro.

Scopertone il segreto, la papessa Giovanna fu fatta trascinare per i piedi da un cavallo, attraverso le strade di Roma, e lapidata a morte dalla folla inferocita nei pressi di Ripa Grande. Fu sepolta nella strada dove la sua vera identità era stata svelata, tra San Giovanni in Laterano e San Pietro in Vaticano. Questa strada (a quanto sembra) fu evitata dalle successive processioni papali, anche se quest'ultimo dettaglio divenne parte della leggenda popolare nel XIV secolo, durante la cattività del papato ad Avignone, quando non c'erano processioni papali a Roma.

In altre versioni della leggenda (ad esempio in quella riportata nella cronaca di Martino Polono) la papessa Giovanna sarebbe morta subito al momento del parto oppure, una volta scoperta, rinchiusa in un convento.

Sempre secondo la leggenda, a Giovanna succedette Papa Benedetto III, che regnò per breve tempo, ma si assicurò che il suo predecessore venisse omesso dalle registrazioni storiche. Benedetto III si considera abbia regnato dall'855 al 7 aprile 858. Il nome papale che Giovanna assunse venne in seguito utilizzato da un altro Papa Giovanni VIII (pontefice dal 14 dicembre 872 al 16 dicembre 882).

Parte essenziale della leggenda è un rito mai svoltosi, ma fantasticato e ripreso, in chiave anti-romana e con molto gusto, da autori protestanti del Cinquecento: s'immaginò che ogni nuovo papa venisse sottoposto a un accurato esame intimo per assicurarsi che non fosse una donna travestita (o un eunuco). L'esame avveniva con il nuovo papa assiso su una sedia di porfido rosso, nella cui seduta era presente un foro. I più giovani tra i diaconi presenti avrebbero avuto il compito di tastare sotto la sedia per assicurarsi della presenza degli attributi virili del nuovo Papa.

« E allo scopo di dimostrare il suo valore, i suoi testicoli e la sua verga vengono tastati dai presenti più giovani, come testimonianza del suo sesso maschile. Quando questo viene determinato, la persona che li ha tastati urla a gran voce virgam et testiculos habet ("Ha il pene e i testicoli") e tutti gli ecclesiastici rispondono: Deo gratias! ("Sia lode a Dio"). Quindi procedono alla gioiosa consacrazione del papa eletto. »

(Felix Hamerlin, De nobilitate et rusticitate Dialogus (ca. 1490)

« Testiculos qui non habet Papa esse non posset »

(Francesco Sorrentino, Prova di Virilità

« D'allora st'antra ssedia sce fu mmessa / pe ttastà ssotto ar zito de le vojje / si er pontefisce sii Papa o Papessa »

(Giuseppe Gioachino Belli, La papessa Giuvanna)

Analisi

Il primo a pubblicare la leggenda, negli anni 1240, fu il cronista domenicano Giovanni di Metz, ripreso pochi anni dopo dal collega domenicano Martino Polono.

Come per tutti gli altri miti in generale, esiste una parte di verità, abbellita da uno strato di finzione. Una sedia simile esiste; quando un papa prendeva possesso della sua Cattedra romana, in San Giovanni in Laterano, si sedeva tradizionalmente su una delle due sedie di porfido (la pietra degli imperatori, assimilata alla porpora), con la seduta dispiegata a ciambella. Il motivo di questi fori è oggetto di discussione, ma poiché entrambe le sedie, di età costantiniana, sono più vecchie di secoli della storia della papessa Giovanna, esse non possono avere niente a che fare con una verifica del sesso del papa.

Si è ipotizzato che fossero sedie per il parto, provenienti da Costantinopoli, e che in origine fossero ad uso esclusivo di donne appartenenti alla famiglia imperiale, da qui il porfido di cui sono costruite. Il D'Onofrio (cfr. bibliografia) spiega invece, in maniera convincente, che il rito aveva carattere essenzialmente religioso: la sedia da parto simboleggia la madre Chiesa che genera i suoi figli alla vita eterna. Una delle due sedie è attualmente esposta nella sala chiamata Gabinetto delle Maschere, nei Musei Vaticani. L'altra in epoca napoleonica fu portata a Parigi e ora è al Louvre.

Molti autori fanno poi confusione con una terza sedia, di marmo e non di porfido, priva di foro, ancor oggi visibile nel chiostro annesso alla Basilica Lateranense, che è quella detta propriamente sedia stercoraria. La Teologia portatile o Dizionario abbreviato della Religione Cristiana di d'Holbach definisce la sedia stercoraria come «sedia bucata su cui il pontefice appena eletto pone le sue sacre terga, affinché possa essere verificato il suo sesso, onde evitare l'inconveniente di una papessa». Nella Vita della papessa Giovanna, il Platina rammenta la sedia stercoraria in questi termini: «questa sedia è stata così predisposta affinché colui che è investito da un sì grande potere sappia che egli non è Dio, ma un uomo e pertanto è sottomesso alle necessità della natura».

Il mito della papessa Giovanna fu totalmente screditato dagli studi di David Blondel, uno storico e pastore protestante della metà del Seicento. Blondel, attraverso un'analisi dettagliata delle affermazioni e delle tempistiche suggerite, argomentò che nessun evento di questo tipo poteva essere avvenuto. Tra le prove che discreditano la storia della papessa Giovanna troviamo:

La tradizionale processione papale di Pasqua non passava nella strada dove la presunta nascita sarebbe avvenuta.

Non esiste alcun documento d'archivio su un tale evento.

La "sedia dei testicoli", su cui i papi siederebbero per avere la propria mascolinità accertata, è di molto precedente all'epoca della papessa Giovanna e non ha niente a che fare con il requisito che ai papi vengano controllati i testicoli (come spiegato più sopra).

Papa Leone IV regnò dall'847 fino alla sua morte nell'855 (e Papa Benedetto III gli succedette nel giro di settimane), rendendo impossibile che Giovanna abbia regnato dall'853 all'855.

Nella memoria storica del popolo di Roma un evento di tale tipo non è mai esistito e mai riportato: l'evento è stato suggerito dall'esterno, sempre da autori sospetti, con evidenti interessi denigratori.

Il momento della prima comparsa della storia coincide con la morte di Federico II di Svevia, che era stato protagonista di uno stridente conflitto con il papato. Gli storici concordano in generale sul fatto che la storia della papessa Giovanna sia una satira anti-papale, ideata per collegarsi allo scontro del papato con il Sacro Romano Impero, facendo leva su tre paure cattoliche medioevali:

un Papa sessualmente attivo

una donna in posizione di autorità dominante sugli uomini

l'inganno portato nel cuore stesso della Chiesa.

Ciò che potrebbe aver preso avvio come satira da presentare nei carnevali di tutta Europa, finì comunque per essere una realtà accettata, a tal punto che alla papessa Giovanna fanno riferimento personaggi come Guglielmo di Ockham. Ella compare anche in alcuni elenchi di Papi, principalmente nel Duomo di Siena, dove la sua immagine appare tra quelle dei veri pontefici. La leggenda acquisì supporto dalla confusione sull'ordine dato ai papi di nome Giovanni; siccome Giovanni è il nome di papa più usato, e alcuni Giovanni erano antipapi, ci fu confusione su quali numeri appartenessero ai veri papa Giovanni. A causa di ciò l'elenco dei papi non comprende un papa Giovanni XX.

Nella cultura

Alcuni hanno accostato la carta della Papessa, uno dei trionfi (o arcani maggiori) dei Tarocchi, con la leggenda della papessa Giovanna.

Lo scrittore greco Emmanouil Roidis pubblicò nel 1865 il romanzo satirico e anticlericale I Papissa Ioanna (La Papessa Giovanna) che scandalizzò e irritò il clero ortodosso. L'opera, pur suscitando accese polemiche per il suo tono ironico e dissacrante e per la trama boccaccesca, riscosse in patria uno straordinario successo, imponendosi come caso editoriale anche al di fuori dei confini ellenici.

Lo scrittore inglese Lawrence Durrell pubblicò nel 1954 The Curious History of Pope Joan, una traduzione del romanzo di Roidis che ebbe una buona diffusione. Inizialmente Durrell provò a spacciarla per una sua opera.

Più recente è il romanzo dell'autrice statunitense Donna Woolfolk Cross Pope Joan (1996), da cui è stato tratto nel 2009 il film La papessa.

Critica

Nel volume Apologia del Papato,[9][10] il giornalista Carlo Di Pietro[11] fornisce una sintesi annotata delle principali e più accreditate confutazioni (in ambiente cattolico) alla vicenda della papessa Giovanna.[12] Le fonti bibliografiche usate sono:

Enciclopedia del Papato, a cura di G. Alberione, vol. II, p. 1374, p. 1536;

Mille anni di leggenda. Una donna sul trono di Pietro, Cesare D'Onofrio, Romana Soc. Editr. 1978, pp. 6, 91, 97, 181, 204, 210, 211 ss.;

Dizionario del Cristianesimo, p. E. Zoffoli, Sinopsis, 1992, v. Papessa;

De nobilitate et Rusticate Dialogus, Felix Hamerlin, Basilea, 1497;

Prova di virilità, Francesco Sorrentino, cit. in riv. Medioevo, De Agostini

Dissertazione sulla leggenda della papessa Giovanna, David Blondel, anno 1647.

Dalla studio svolto dal Free lance lucano si evince che la storia della «papessa Giovanna» è una «favola, cara un tempo all'istoriografia protestante» già smentita dalla storia. «Nessuno storico serio oggi osa sostenere la verità di questa vecchia e disgustosa leggenda, non vale neanche la pena fermarci su […] questa balorda leggenda, sfruttata dalla spudoratezza degli umanisti e dall'odio dei protestanti, si legga la v. Giovanna dell'Enciclopedia Cattolica […]».[13] Sintesi conclusiva: «La “papissa” che diede il nome al “vicus” non è affatto la “famigerata Giovanna”, bensì un certo Giovanni Papa, proprietario di una casa che sorgeva in quel luogo, e che lui soleva addobbare per il passaggio del corteo papale. Per questo, infatti, “riceveva dalla Camera Apostolica otto soldi provesini”. La “papissa poté essere soltanto la moglie o la madre di quel nobile Papa che dominava nella zona”. Tra i vari “ingredienti” della vicenda figurano anche due seggiole “o stercorarie” di marmo forate, poi servite - dopo il presunto inganno della “papessa” - per accertarsi del sesso, della virilità maschile e della verifica a “sfiorate”, del neo eletto durante la cerimonia dell'esaltazione al pontificato dei successori. Da questa pratica ne derivano le famose frasi: - “virgam et testiculos habet”, ossia “ha il pene e i testicoli” pertanto gli ecclesiastici ribattono: “Deo Gratias”, ossia “Sia lode a Dio”. Quindi incedono alla lieta ordinazione del Papa nominato; Anche “Testiculos qui non habet Papa esse non posset”. La “papessa” Giovanna avrebbe regnato dall'855 all'858, ma è certo che proprio in quegli anni - dopo san Leone IV (847-855) - regnò Benedetto III eletto dopo pochissime settimane (29 settembre 855 - 17 aprile 858), mentre l'unico Giovanni VIII fu Papa dal 14 dicembre 872 al 16 dicembre 882; Nella casa del “visus papissæ” figura quel Giovanni che - secondo il Liber Censuum di Cencio - “non è un ottavo da attribuire a lui, bensì al compenso in soldi provesini”. L'attribuzione si deve ad un “errore di impaginazione del testo: “Deinde usque ad domum Johannis Pape VIII/soldi provesini”. “In altre parole [...]: come il toponimo vicus Papissæ venne arbitrariamente creduto della “papessa”; così la domus Johannis Papæ divenne l'abitazione del Papa Giovanni. L'errata, o, piuttosto, oculata cattiva lettura di una copia del Liber Censuum, dove si parlava di VIII soldi che spettavano al signor Giovanni Papa, fece il resto". Il 29 giugno 1633, a San Pietro, fu inaugurato il baldacchino del Bernini eretto sulla tomba dell'Apostolo, concepito da Urbano VIII, il quale volle si scolpissero, sulle basi che sostengono le colonne, sei volti di donna nelle varie fasi della maternità, dal concepimento ai dolori del parto, eternando così la grande idea della “Mater Ecclesia”. Il Pontefice, come noto, conosceva bene la leggenda della “papessa” Giovanna. Lo stesso David Blondel, pastore protestante del diciassettesimo secolo, analizzò il caso della cosiddetta “papessa” Giovanna e ne screditò totalmente ogni veridicità; la testimonianza del Blondel fa comprendere come addirittura un protestante, all'epoca nemico acerrimo di Roma, non potesse accettare tali falsità, per altro diffuse dai seguaci di Lutero stesso».

Da Wikipedia, l'enciclopedia libera.

La Papessa Giovanna nelle carte dei Tarocchi del 1450;

Raccolta Foto de Alvariis;

A scene using Set 21016 Sungnyemun, based on ideas from one of my Flickr contacts, moreska, an American currently based in Seoul.

 

He likes to talk about the Zombie-like mindsets of the supporters of South Korea's fascist ruling party, and to reflect that, the two minifigures on the left had their heads turned backwards so that they do not have a face. Though on second thought, the two could be South Korea's leadership. The male would be President Lee Myung-bak, an evangelical Christian who took office in 2008 and kicked off the fascist restoration, and the female would be President Park Geun-hye, Lee's successor from 2013 on, who is the daughter of ironfisted Eternal President Park Chung-hee (ruled from 1961 until his assassination in 1979) and is an ideological carbon copy of her father.

 

Of course, according to moreska, it wouldn't be South Korea without protesters, so what better than to bring in an angry Korea Post employee? Postal employees and other public sector employees are usually unionized, and South Korean fascists (and Korean-Americans) do consider every labor union to be a front for the North Korean Communists (and therefore "treason" under National Security Law), so let the sparks fly.

 

Additionally both moreska and I could conceivably see a different version of this scene that adds an angry American visitor and a very p*ssed off US President Barack Obama. Despite the much-touted alliance between the two countries, and despite the display of strong personal friendship between Lee and Obama, the fact remains that Lee and Obama are ideological opposites, and South Korea's ruling fascists would rather have Republicans in charge in Washington. Seoul already does own a number of key Republican politicians stateside, including my own Congressman. Additionally, the Obama Administration's State Department, led by Hillary Rodham Clinton, has called Seoul out on its increasing Internet censorship, and by teaming up with UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon (who had been South Korea's foreign minister before the fascist restoration) on LGBT rights worldwide, has put homophobic Lee in a bind.

 

What say you, moreska? Or are the fascists' Great Firewall of Korea blocking your access to Flickr again?

   

What did Vikings do before Harley Davidson motorcycles were invented?

 

I've always liked Vikings.

 

Well... I'm not sure I ever knew one...

 

But I was a kid in the seventies when vans were very popular... havin' a conversion van then was like some status symbol indicating your complete coolness or something.

 

Fred had a van on Scooby Doobie Doo and I think that's why he scored with Daphne.

 

But he wore ascots... and I could never figure that out.

 

Usually guys who wear ascots don't score with hot chicks if you know what I mean.

 

Unless they're British.

 

British guys could get away with that kinda stuff because of their accents.

 

I always looked up to guys who drove vans.

 

Guys who wear ascots?

 

Not so much.

 

I don't know... I was only like ten years old... but I remember it seemed like a lot of vans had really cool Viking scenes painted on them.

 

I especially liked the ones painted with the really well toned super-endowed Viking woman... usually in a fur bikini with matching fur boots... on top of some gnarly and rugged mountain... swinging a big double handed sword and cutting off a dragons head or something.

 

I don't know about you but I've always been a big fan of the 'hot chick slays the beast' genre of art.

 

It's not for everyone.

 

That's also when I learned to appreciate fine airbrush art.

 

And Viking women.

 

In fur bikinis.

 

Swinging big swords.

 

Airbrush art and fine looking Viking women are like peanut butter and chocolate I think... they just 'go together.'

 

Throw in a 'blank' van and you're talking the ultimate-cool 'trifecta' baby!

 

I wonder how people went about getting those murals painted on their van?

 

'Yesh... I really like this van... but it's kinda plain... I'm the kinda guy who'd like an airbrushed nordic goddess painted on the side... it speaks of my unique personality and character attributes... can you set me up... I mean if you do... I'll buy the van... but she's gotta be wearing a fur bikini and fur boots... deal?'

 

Or... 'eh Louie... I'm thinkin' about buyin' one a dem conVERsion vans... you know anybuddy who maybe knows anybuddy who get me all set up with one a dem Viking chick fantasy murals?'

 

'Dere's dis guy named Sven dey say he's a like Michael Angelo with de airbrush... down dere in Blue Island... he does really good fur boots an stuff... I getcha his numbah.'

 

I did a flickrsearch for 'fur bikini' to come up with a good picture for this story.

 

I prolly shouldn't have done that.

 

Although the one with Latitia Casta's face pasted on to some other chicks body was kind of interesting... it was a decent photoshop job... but I could tell right away that those weren't Latitia's breasts because I studied them in college at the masters level.

 

What I saw was really disturbing and I'm going to have a hard time going to sleep now.

 

If you like disturbing stuff check out this image... you'll totally regret it so don't get all p!ssed off at me because I warned you... but you know you wanna look... so here... click on this link... www.flickr.com/photos/furslave/2487451390/

 

Now go clear your browser's history before you forget.

 

You can thank Viewminder for reminding you later.

 

Nothing ruins a weekend like your girl/guy/lifepartner saying...

 

'So WHO were YOU looking to buy a FUR BIKINI for huh?'

 

If you have good instincts you'd duck after ever hearing a statement like that.

 

I know I'd just run... in a tight zig zag pattern. Fast. Far. And Away. Fast and far away.

 

DON'T EVEN try to explain... you'll only dig your hole deeper... it's better to present a moving target anyway.

 

Gahd help you if you get cornered in the car on the expressway with this one... just aim for the closest bridge abuttment and get it over with quick.

 

If there's one thing Viewminder knows it's CRAZY LOVE gone bad. Trust me.

 

Nobody could possibly be ready to lie their way out of that one... and let's face it... the truth isn't too believable either.

 

You'd be an idiot if you tried the old 'so WHAT were you doing looking at MY browser history... you don't TRUST me' routine on that one. You ain't turning this one around this time. No way.

 

The time-tested 'turn the tables' trick with the look of sincere hurt on your face might work when you been caught looking at your garden variety internet porn... but not dudes in fur bikinis.

 

Don't matter if you're innocent... you gotta think damage control at this point.

 

And damage control means DON'T bring me into it... nunna that 'baby I was just lookin' at Viewminder's stream again... he always links to this crazy sh!t.'

 

I get enough Chicago-Love without your help thank you.

 

Best bet... find a payphone... cuz your cell phone was probably the first thing thrown at you... and just call and do like Hollywood movie stars do... 'baby... I know I need help... I'm going to check into a residential intensive program... I appreciate you standin' by me until WE get through this.'

 

Charlie Sheen has that printed on the back of his business cards I heard.

 

You gotta use the 'WE' word. It's like subliminal. Either they'll be happy that there's still a 'WE' or they won't and you'll know it right away.

 

It's good to know where you stand in crisis mode.

 

Might buy you enough time to get your stuff back when your new ex leaves if they don't change the locks right away.

 

Better getcher stuff quick too... before you get the restraining order.

 

That's the best I got.

 

Strategically you're in a really good position... when the ex goes out and tells all their friends and family the story... it's so outrageous it kinda sounds like a lie.

 

So when all that stuff you're really guilty of comes out no one'll believe that either.

 

There's really a bright side to everything if you look at it right.

 

Mr. Fur Bikini couldda made you a contact... friends and family too!

 

Of course if you'd get a 'c'mere you... I noticed you were looking at fur bikinis for me'... I'd say you're in for a wild weekend and I would hope you'd at least send Viewminder a private flickr mail describing the craziness of said weekend.

 

You'd owe me that much.

 

Maybe even a 'guest pass' to check out the pictures.

 

I promise to change your name before I tell everyone.

 

If that doesn't shock you... cus you're the kind a person it takes a lot to shock... try looking at that image while listening to this song... it's the one from Disney World... 'It's a small world after all'... www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIabgPX14R4

 

I suggest opening two different windows AND locking your door.

 

Somebody walks into your world while you've got that image on your screen and that song playing...

 

If you're a minor... stay away from the first link but play the second link over and over in your room really loud.

 

Pretty soon your mom will be taking you once a week to see the nice lady who asks lots of questions but seems completely non-judgemental.

 

You can find a lot of ways to have fun with that.

 

And Mr. Fur Bikini lover... if you track back all those hits to my stream here... I'm not judgin'... I say to each their own... live and let live... I mean... I've already admitted I got a thing for airbrushed fantasy scenes of well endowed Viking women swingin' swords... everybody's got their thing... we all fuhreeky deeky!

 

You have fun with that... I mean... it doesn't look like anyone's getting hurt... next time maybe try to be a little environmentally conscious and use 'simulated' fur maybe... I'm just sayin'.

 

Chicago-Love!

 

I've never been big on vans... but they seemed like a really great place to paint an airbrush masterpiece to show off to the world your enthusiasm for nordic goddess warrior chick types.

 

I guess that's where my fascination with Vikings started.

 

This guy reminds me of a Viking.

 

I didn't have a chance to ask him... but I bet he digs vans with cool airbrush art and women in fur bikinis and boots weilding broadswords.

 

I'm psychic like that.

 

Now if I could have only foreseen the results of my image search for 'fur bikini'...

 

Oh and about that quitting flickr thing... April Fools.

 

Don't be hatin' me and pass this on to all your 'frenemies.'

 

I gotta feelin' this'll be my latest picture to be kicked off of 'explore.'

 

Faces on the street

Chicago 3.26.11

35mm 1.8 I can't even remember what I did to this one.

More from the Sex P*ssed Dolls at the Concorde 2, Brighton

Speed contest.

 

I know, the bird was a bit closer to the camera in its trajectory.

But my guess is that they equalled out . .