Self Portrait

From 'aesthesia' 2013

Photograph published in "The Diagonal" (analysis on global health website) in the article "Health Disparities: an Introduction" by Afua Adjekum. The article was published in January 2016.

Also published in Hoodline.com on 6/29/2016 in the article 'Low Hanging Fruit' Brings Story of Homeless Female Veterans to the Stage.

www.hoodline.com/2016/06/low-hanging-fruit-brings-story-o...

Thanks to the following artists:

Jester - AbsurdWordPreferred: evelivesey.deviantart.com/#/d2gyhi1

Staircase - bluesse: evelivesey.deviantart.com/favourites/#/d2c28tm

Model - MkA-Graphic: evelivesey.deviantart.com/favourites/#/d2t8th4

Light Rays Brushes: www.obsidiandawn.com

Fitness and Lifestyle photo session with Victoria Garrick on Tuesday, June 25, 2019 at the Tongva Park in Santa Monica, CA.

Photo by Matt Pendleton for Matt Pendleton Photography

www.definatalie.com/2010/03/08/self-esteem-is-revolutionary/

A man and his colorful heart monitor electrodes.

My beautiful friend trusted me, allowing me the honor and privilege of shooting her the other day. The idea was to document where she is right.now. xoxo Denise.

Coral & Confidence: A bright, high-key studio portrait with an easy summer feel. Soft light keeps the skin tones natural and flattering, while the coral swimwear adds a warm pop of color against the clean white background. Relaxed, confident, and effortless.

Shot on a Pentax K-1 with diffused Godox lighting.

I asked her what she was specifically "so over it". She responded: "everything". Then she told me not to frame her face in the photograph, but only to take a picture of the Tshirt.

Bikini Thoughts - Kneeling: Godox V1 rear left and right with umbrellas. Godox AD200 in octogonal softbox above left for main light, above right in 30x120 softbox for fill.

Taken for a Photography project I am doing about docile bodies and eating disorders, I have to make it into a photomontage yet, but I love the simplicity of this image :)

Shot for my advanced portraiture class. We were assigned to represent issues regarding body image, beauty, body modification, etc. Part of a 2 part series.

Graduating Class of 2018 with double AA degrees. She worked hard and it paid off. She never gave up. I am so proud of this young lady. I am sad to see her move away from our program but knowing she is moving forward, onward and upward. She transferred to a 4 year school.

Pandemic Self Care. Processing pics from the boneyard (my “vault” that stores pics I have taken, but never processed and/or posted). Stay safe everyone.

Bikini Thoughts - Kneeling: Malibu Strings Labor Day sale pickup. Godox V1 rear left and right with umbrellas. Godox AD200 in octogonal softbox above left for main light, above right in 30x120 softbox for fill.

Even with all the pictures I'm taking, I still have a difficult time seeing myself.

I've been working on a photo project for a women's conference.

I asked some volunteers to paint their bodies in accordance to how they viewed themselves.

White on the areas they were at peace with.

Red on the areas they were at war with.

Also, the series got accepted in the conference!!!

Pluck your eyebrows out so you can draw them back in with a pencil. Pay to have the fat removed from your ass and inject into your chin. Have leaky water balloons embedded into your chest or maybe begin to redefine what "real beauty" truly is.

Pencils and ink on paper.

So much has worn me down health-wise this year & I’ve felt so far from myself because of stress.

I’ve finally been able to verbalize and admit to myself that this has been the hardest year of my life since 2010 when my mother died. I knew selling a home & buying in another state would be stressful no matter what. What I don’t think I could have anticipated was a year like 2024 where we both got Covid for the first time (which had lasting impacts) and the genocide in Gaza ravaging the world. I fundamentally changed and that year left me a different person than who I have ever been. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Following that with a year that started with 70 days of varying degrees of headache to all encompassing migraines (leading to an MRI and medical action plans).

Then we started in earnest to do the home dance. Allowing people into my home repeatedly with no real control turned me inside out. My agoraphobia sky rocketed and everything felt impossibly hard.

From the start of the year we’ve had to face a new type of nightmare in our news, US domestic government, and life overall. Everything feels surreal most of the time.

I’ve had such a fog in my mind while I more or less had to shut entire parts of myself down and compartmentalize until I could get through other more immediate needs on my energy and time.

The stress, the uncertainty, the discomfort lead to me more or less giving up on having a human body. I rarely drank water, I stopped moving my body entirely, I spent every moment I wasn’t actively doing The Things I Had To Do™️ (or occasionally taking photos) laying down or crying. I could barely wash my face, brush my teeth, or take a shower. I know my photo stream gives one of those picture perfect storylines of how the last year has gone because I am pretty ok at composition and framing (and admittedly take good self portraits).

The reality is I’ve struggled more overall than I had ever let on.

This week I’ve been sorting photos & found some that dusted my brain off. Photos that reminded me of how even when some years like 2017 (the photos with just my torso) when I had just bought my first house with my ex and realized the relationship may not last because my sobriety hadn’t really changed anything between us. Or 2020 (the photo of me lying down in a Skeletonwitch tshirt and the 3 photo collage) the year of Covid and the year I finally ended that relationship after giving it everything I had for 3 more years while that global pandemic was happening.

Both were unimaginably difficult I was still able to lean into reflection, listening to my body and mind, and working to find the life changes I needed to be a happier and more balanced Nix. The photos feel like a talisman or a magical catalyst to remind me of my power. My routines are returning to me and I can feel the joy they bring. I am waking up.

If you’ve read this far, thank you. This is stuff I usually keep for my online blog, but I was feeling verbose and brave and wanted to share here too. I really value the connections I’ve been making being back on Flickr and the site and the people have been one of the bright spots for me through all of this.

Your Reality: The Truth About Your Body medium.com/@YounusAlGohar/your-reality-88c44f7e65c1

Why your time in this world is like a visit to space!

Still Life

©MSkaveney

www.christinielsen.com

Profoto 600 with Beauty Dish on miniboom fairly straight on with subject. Profoto 600 with umbrella 4 feet back and to the left of subject. Profoto 600 lighting background.

For the set slowly disappearing.

Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) (previously known as dysmorphophobiais sometimes referred to as body dysmorphia or dysmorphic syndrome) is a (psychological) somatoform disorder in which the affected person is excessively concerned about and preoccupied by a perceived defect in his or her physical features (body image).

I constantly find things wrong with me. My teeth, my hair, my weight, my legs, my scars, my bruises. Sometimes I wish I could hide myself from the world.

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Mikhaela B. Reid * Angry Cartoonist

cartoons@mikhaela.net * www.mikhaela.net

• Out now! | “ATTACK OF THE 50-FOOT MIKHAELA!” by Mikhaela Reid, with foreword by Ted Rall. See why Fun Home author Alison Bechdel says "Mikhaela Reid's cartoons are right *$%@ing on!" Buy now at: www.lulu.com/content/781402

For my on going series on body image.