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May 20th, 2016 - Blue October live at The Fillmore in Detroit, Michigan. Credit: Chris Schwegler. www.schwegweb.com

May 20th, 2016 - Blue October live at The Fillmore in Detroit, Michigan. Credit: Chris Schwegler. www.schwegweb.com

(I know it's yellow and grainy, but my flash wouldn't go off =( )

Last night I lost my great aunt's wedding ring. I noticed it right as DV called me =/ I don't know what happened to it. I've been freaking out and on the verge of tears. But DV made it all better and made me laugh, smile and forget... Until I felt where the ring was supposed to be =/

I checked everywhere. I lost it after yesterday's photo (obviously). I checked all around the computer, the ground, the stairs, where I took the photo, everywhere. God, I can't find it. It's the only thing I have left of her. Well, anything physical. I need to have this because if I don't have that ring, I don't have her.

*sigh* DV gave me some ideas though last night when I started to freak out. He was so sweet and helpful. I appreciate it. He makes me feel really good when he calls ^_^ I like it when he calls ^_^

I hope that sometime soon I won't need that ring on all the time. I think that means that I'll be able to live without her 24/7. But it's still nice to have something of her. A piece of her memory.

I want to cry right now. Why can't I find it? I'm a horrible great-niece...

 

"There's something that I can't quite explain.

I'm so in love with you, you'll never take that away.

And if I've said a hundred times before, expect a thousand more.

(You'll never take that away).

 

Well, expect me to be calling you to see if you're ok when I'm not around.

Asking if you love me, I love the way you make it sound.

Calling you to see:

Do I try too hard to make you smile? To make us smile?

 

Well I will keep calling you to see:

If you're sleeping, are you're dreaming?

If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?

I can't believe...you actually picked...me

 

I thought that the world had lost its way (It's so hard sometimes)

Then I fell in love with you (then came you)

and you took that way (Its not so difficult. The world is not so difficult)

 

You take away the old, show me the new,

and I feel like I can fly when I stand next to you.

So while I'm on this phone, a hundred miles from home

I take the words you gave, and send them back to you.

 

I only want to see if you're ok when I'm not around.

Asking if you love me, I love the way you make it sound.

Calling you to see:

Do I try too hard to make you smile? To make us smile?

 

I will keep calling you to see:

If you're sleeping are you dreaming?

If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?

I can't believe...you actually picked...me..."

("Calling You" by Blue October) I like Blue October ^^ Good band. Like, "Hate Me" is good.

Oh, and my mother was going to take me, my little sister and her boyfriend up to Lake George for my little sister's birthday, but it was at a water park. It's also a $700 trip for the weekend. She asked me if I was going to swim, but she knows how I feel about being in a bathing suit or swimming. She was trying to tell me, "there's no reason to be uncomfortable" and saying that her boyfriend is right when he says that. She doesn't get it. Me+bathing suit= bad idea. So she canceled it.

May 20th, 2016 - Blue October live at The Fillmore in Detroit, Michigan. Credit: Chris Schwegler. www.schwegweb.com

My words, they pour

Like children to the playground

Children to the playground

You make me smile

--Blue October

May 20th, 2016 - Blue October live at The Fillmore in Detroit, Michigan. Credit: Chris Schwegler. www.schwegweb.com

Blue October, Paradiso 26-01-2009

I'm like a ghost

I'll be living in a dirt room

Waiting for the day to be closer

To the window when you're home

I'll be standing by your back door

Reaching for the knife in my coat

I'm going to put it to your throat

 

-Blue October

May 20th, 2016 - Blue October live at The Fillmore in Detroit, Michigan. Credit: Chris Schwegler. www.schwegweb.com

i want to show you just how fascinating kissing is,

when earth collides with all the space between.

life down there is just an illusion.

 

you can buy this print here.

Blue October performing at Stubb's on September 27th, 2013.

Blue October performing at Stubb's on September 27th, 2013.

Blue October performing at Stubb's on September 27th, 2013.

Blue October performing at Stubb's on September 27th, 2013.

Blue October, Paradiso 26-01-2009

May 20th, 2016 - Blue October live at The Fillmore in Detroit, Michigan. Credit: Chris Schwegler. www.schwegweb.com

my pain,

won't cover up.

you left me..

my heart won't take this cover up,

you left me..

 

my words,

they don't come out right.

but i'll try to say i'm happy for you.

  

go away,

make it go away,

please.

   

this sucks, i'm sorry

first attempt at cloning things and such

:/

Jefferson Theatre - Beaumont TX

Hate Me

 

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head

They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed

Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone

Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home

There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain

An ounce of peace is all I want for you. will you never call again?

And will you never say that you love me just to put in my face?

And will you never try to reach me? it is I that wanted space

 

Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow

Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

 

I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with

The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again

In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night

While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight

You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate

You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take

So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind

And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

 

Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow

Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

 

Hate me in ways

Yeah ways hard to swallow

Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

 

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave

Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made

And like a baby boy I never was a man

Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand

And then I fell down yelling “make it go away!”

Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be

And then she whispered “how can you do this to me?”

 

Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow

Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

 

Hate me in ways

Yeah ways hard to swallow

Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

 

~ Blue October

Justin Furstenfeld - Blue October performing at Jefferson Theater in Beaumont Texas

the sounds of the surf. saying goodbye to the sun. watching the lovers. putting your toes in the sand. tasting the salt on your lips....

 

it's like being with an old, familiar friend.

 

i love this song

Jefferson Theatre - Beaumont TX

Blue October performing at Stubb's on September 27th, 2013.

I ended Day 8 of SXSW 2016 (Friday, March 18) at ACL Live at the Moody Theatre (310 W. Willie Nelson Blvd.). (Even though my SXSW Gold badge didn't include access to evening Music showcases, the event organizers announced free admission for SXSW Guest Pass holders before 10 p.m.) I arrived early, nabbed a front-row mezzanine seat, and settled in for a great show featuring Fantastic Negrito, Blue October, and The Cult.

 

Here, Houston-based alternative rockers Blue October perform ''Leave It in the Dressing Room (Shake It Up)'' from their album ''Home''...

 

listening to this this week. brutal work week. i have had a headache for 4 days now. soo happy we have a three day weekend. and the wee one is going to a sleepover tonight. time alone. yes.

Blue October performing at Stubb's on September 27th, 2013.

Graceful Dancing tattoo, lyrical tattoo

Jefferson Theatre - Beaumont TX

Jefferson Theatre - Beaumont TX

Blue October performing at Stubb's on September 27th, 2013.

Jefferson Theatre - Beaumont TX

Jefferson Theatre - Beaumont TX

Jefferson Theatre - Beaumont TX

Jefferson Theatre - Beaumont TX

Jefferson Theatre - Beaumont TX

Yes, I realize that he looks pretty insane.

But I appreciate the lighting behind him :)

And his tattoo.

 

Anyway, I went to see Blue October with Longview(?) at Amos' Southend on April 25th.

It was trulyyy a great show.

i'm reaching farther than i ever have before

leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore

i may be some sort of crazy

we may be some sort of crazy

but i swear on everything i have and more

Blue October performing at Stubb's on September 27th, 2013.

May 20th, 2016 - Blue October live at The Fillmore in Detroit, Michigan. Credit: Chris Schwegler. www.schwegweb.com

Blue October performing at Stubb's on September 27th, 2013.

Blue October performing at Stubb's on September 27th, 2013.

Homage to my favorite band these days, Blue October. Henry Coe State Park on a little hike. I wandered beneath this sprawling tree. What a sight is was in person. This is with my fish-eye 10.5 and HDR hand-held. A little Elements work, too.

Blue October performing at Stubb's on September 27th, 2013.

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