King Bee 'n' Calhoon 1980
From 1980 in Richmond. Calhoun (r) was my college roommate and is still my best friend. I weighed about 140 pounds then; though from the looks of that skinny ass of mine, I might have weighed less.
I had to leave Austin in a big fucking hurry in November 1980--the day after that fool Reagan was elected. It was the worst of times. I'd been seeing this skanky ho named Ginger in Austin, and we split up most...inamicably. A day later her boyfriend, whom she'd introduced to me as "a friend" of her three kids, called me on the phone and left a message that he was going to kick my ass. The guy was an ex-Marine, and I'd heard stories about his violent temper from Ginger's niece; so I panicked and left town for four months.
I spent the first two months with Kay and Carrington--two well-off friends of mine from high school--and their two young children Pamela and Charles at their home in Richmond, Va. (Kay took the above photo during one of Calhoun's visits.) They were very generous to let me stay for free for so long, considering I feasted while I was there. At dinner every night they'd tell me to eat all I wanted because they didn't keep leftovers. Within two months I went from a nearly emaciated 135 pounds (I'm 6 feet tall) to 155, pretty much from sleeping late, eating constantly, and not exercising.
Calhoun lived nearby and would come over from time to time to visit or to take me to play pinball or frisbee or whatever. Kay and her two darlin' children--four year old Pamela was cuter'n a bucket of bunnies--loved Hoon and me, and we them. Carrington and I, on the other hand, had drifted apart--geographically, politically, culturally, socially--since our days as best friends in high school; now it was impossible to have a conversation with him that had nothing to do with fucking prep school.
I'd smuggled about four ounces of killer weed--this lovely peach-scented stuff strong enough to make you start screamin' for a shrink--with me from Austin to smoke at night once everyone else had gone to bed. I got the munchies every night too and raided their refrigerator and pantry of whatever sweet things Kay had bought for her children. After a week of this they quickly learned--like everyone else I've ever lived with--to hide food from me. Neither Carrington nor Kay had ever smoked dope in their lives and had had no contact with anyone with the munchies before I came along.
One night while Kay, Carrington, Hoon, and I were watching TV in their living room, Kay expressed an interest in smoking pot for the first time. I lit up the bong for her, but I'm not even sure she inhaled (she claims to this day that she did). But that was the last straw for Carrington. He told me he didn't want Calhoun coming over anymore. Kay stepped in and told Carrington that it was her home too; and that as far as she was concerned, Calhoun was welcome there anytime. I decided it would be better for everyone if I just moved out.
For my last two months in Richmond I moved in with Hoon, who continued feeding me. Once while I was there he referred to me as "the Texas Panhandler", which was pretty funny and so true--I was a fucking leech! He also introduced me to his bee-yoo-ti-ful friend Debbie, who seduced me the night before I'd planned to return to Austin. I stayed over at Deb's a few nights before finally flying home.
Carrington and Kay were divorced a couple of years later. Kay kept the house and the children lived with her. She's still among my best friends in the world. Carrington and I haven't spoken since I left their house to stay with Calhoun.
King Bee 'n' Calhoon 1980
From 1980 in Richmond. Calhoun (r) was my college roommate and is still my best friend. I weighed about 140 pounds then; though from the looks of that skinny ass of mine, I might have weighed less.
I had to leave Austin in a big fucking hurry in November 1980--the day after that fool Reagan was elected. It was the worst of times. I'd been seeing this skanky ho named Ginger in Austin, and we split up most...inamicably. A day later her boyfriend, whom she'd introduced to me as "a friend" of her three kids, called me on the phone and left a message that he was going to kick my ass. The guy was an ex-Marine, and I'd heard stories about his violent temper from Ginger's niece; so I panicked and left town for four months.
I spent the first two months with Kay and Carrington--two well-off friends of mine from high school--and their two young children Pamela and Charles at their home in Richmond, Va. (Kay took the above photo during one of Calhoun's visits.) They were very generous to let me stay for free for so long, considering I feasted while I was there. At dinner every night they'd tell me to eat all I wanted because they didn't keep leftovers. Within two months I went from a nearly emaciated 135 pounds (I'm 6 feet tall) to 155, pretty much from sleeping late, eating constantly, and not exercising.
Calhoun lived nearby and would come over from time to time to visit or to take me to play pinball or frisbee or whatever. Kay and her two darlin' children--four year old Pamela was cuter'n a bucket of bunnies--loved Hoon and me, and we them. Carrington and I, on the other hand, had drifted apart--geographically, politically, culturally, socially--since our days as best friends in high school; now it was impossible to have a conversation with him that had nothing to do with fucking prep school.
I'd smuggled about four ounces of killer weed--this lovely peach-scented stuff strong enough to make you start screamin' for a shrink--with me from Austin to smoke at night once everyone else had gone to bed. I got the munchies every night too and raided their refrigerator and pantry of whatever sweet things Kay had bought for her children. After a week of this they quickly learned--like everyone else I've ever lived with--to hide food from me. Neither Carrington nor Kay had ever smoked dope in their lives and had had no contact with anyone with the munchies before I came along.
One night while Kay, Carrington, Hoon, and I were watching TV in their living room, Kay expressed an interest in smoking pot for the first time. I lit up the bong for her, but I'm not even sure she inhaled (she claims to this day that she did). But that was the last straw for Carrington. He told me he didn't want Calhoun coming over anymore. Kay stepped in and told Carrington that it was her home too; and that as far as she was concerned, Calhoun was welcome there anytime. I decided it would be better for everyone if I just moved out.
For my last two months in Richmond I moved in with Hoon, who continued feeding me. Once while I was there he referred to me as "the Texas Panhandler", which was pretty funny and so true--I was a fucking leech! He also introduced me to his bee-yoo-ti-ful friend Debbie, who seduced me the night before I'd planned to return to Austin. I stayed over at Deb's a few nights before finally flying home.
Carrington and Kay were divorced a couple of years later. Kay kept the house and the children lived with her. She's still among my best friends in the world. Carrington and I haven't spoken since I left their house to stay with Calhoun.