Day 275
I'm so bored and sick of life right now. It feels like I am just living day to day to one day die. Nothing exciting happens in my life. I know I'm to blame for not making anything happen, but I'm in a rut. My mouth is killing me. I hate my hair right now, I want to cut it and color it, but I'm to cheap and feel like I've been spending too much money lately. I want to lose weight and be skinny and cute again, but there is absolutely no motivation to do anything about it. So I just sit here looking like a fat ugly ass, hating myself for being fat and ugly. I want to wear cute clothes and little tight jeans again. Or shirts without sleeves when it's hot. i brought my bike into the house so I could look at it and it would motivate me. I got used to it sitting there by the door, and started hanging things on it. I finally moved it to the garage. I feel tired all the time. I get plenty of sleep at night, but I'm so tired and my eyes are falling by like 4pm. So, I nap for a little. Then I stay up until past 2am. My house is so cluttered and messy, but it takes everything in me to just dust and vacuum. We eat out every single night, except when I get all crazy and will cook for like a week straight. I want to cook dinner every night, but I hate going to the grocery store, and so I just avoid it and we eat out again and again. I just want to be like Martha Stewart except I am lazy and tired and bored and hate everything. I always have "big plans" but I never go through with anything, ever.
I'm just sick of myself, and I want to change me, but I have no idea where to even begin or how to do it. Plus, like I said I'm lazy, and even if I knew how to do it I would be to lazy to do it. Basically, I need to know how I become unlazy?
Day 275
I'm so bored and sick of life right now. It feels like I am just living day to day to one day die. Nothing exciting happens in my life. I know I'm to blame for not making anything happen, but I'm in a rut. My mouth is killing me. I hate my hair right now, I want to cut it and color it, but I'm to cheap and feel like I've been spending too much money lately. I want to lose weight and be skinny and cute again, but there is absolutely no motivation to do anything about it. So I just sit here looking like a fat ugly ass, hating myself for being fat and ugly. I want to wear cute clothes and little tight jeans again. Or shirts without sleeves when it's hot. i brought my bike into the house so I could look at it and it would motivate me. I got used to it sitting there by the door, and started hanging things on it. I finally moved it to the garage. I feel tired all the time. I get plenty of sleep at night, but I'm so tired and my eyes are falling by like 4pm. So, I nap for a little. Then I stay up until past 2am. My house is so cluttered and messy, but it takes everything in me to just dust and vacuum. We eat out every single night, except when I get all crazy and will cook for like a week straight. I want to cook dinner every night, but I hate going to the grocery store, and so I just avoid it and we eat out again and again. I just want to be like Martha Stewart except I am lazy and tired and bored and hate everything. I always have "big plans" but I never go through with anything, ever.
I'm just sick of myself, and I want to change me, but I have no idea where to even begin or how to do it. Plus, like I said I'm lazy, and even if I knew how to do it I would be to lazy to do it. Basically, I need to know how I become unlazy?