Day 216
I quit smoking on Monday night. I think about having a cigarette probably every 5 minutes. It will just pop in my head "Oh, time for a smoke!!" Then I remember.
I watch that show Intervention, and I always think for an alcoholic, how sad and hard it would be to have an addiction to alcohol. To where you could NEVER have a drink for the rest of your life. I hardly ever drink, but if I want to drink I can, and I can not drink for another 8 months.
So, with cigarettes, I suppose I am like an alcoholic or any addict for that matter. I can never have another cigarette for the rest of my life.
Do you know this makes me cry inside? It isn't even that I'm addicted to the nicotine so much. I've never had a real strong "Oh my God I NEED a cigarette RIGHT NOW before I kill someone." feeling. I just truly enjoy smoking. So much so that I smoked nearly 2 packs within a 24 hour period. Yeah, I know. Crazy! I could out smoke probably anyone.
The thought of not going on a long drive on the weekend without smoking, makes me sad. What will I do??? Going and having a coffee, and not smoking? Seriously??? I've seen people do it, but I don't' know how?!
It's hard too when the dude at 7-11 knows what cigarettes I smoke, and immediatly goes for them. I went there yesterday, and had to stop him and tell him I quit.
I've had so many split second thoughts of running to 7-11 and just buying a pack. Screw it. Then I come back down to reality, and I realize the only good reason I have to continue smoking is: I like it.
I have a list of reason to not smoke. Mainly, I don't have the best genes out there. Since my Dad died at 29 years old from heart disease, dying has never been far from my mind. It's actually always been pretty much right there ever since I realized about death and dying. I want to live as long as I can, and be here to see my Grandchildren. I can't imagine anything worse then dying before my children are grown.
So, yeah. I've got quite the battle ahead of me. I'm not even 48 hours into this. I'm feeling pretty good though about it. I'm even taking out $10 a day, just to see how much money I actually throw away.
My hair still smells clean. I love that!
Day 216
I quit smoking on Monday night. I think about having a cigarette probably every 5 minutes. It will just pop in my head "Oh, time for a smoke!!" Then I remember.
I watch that show Intervention, and I always think for an alcoholic, how sad and hard it would be to have an addiction to alcohol. To where you could NEVER have a drink for the rest of your life. I hardly ever drink, but if I want to drink I can, and I can not drink for another 8 months.
So, with cigarettes, I suppose I am like an alcoholic or any addict for that matter. I can never have another cigarette for the rest of my life.
Do you know this makes me cry inside? It isn't even that I'm addicted to the nicotine so much. I've never had a real strong "Oh my God I NEED a cigarette RIGHT NOW before I kill someone." feeling. I just truly enjoy smoking. So much so that I smoked nearly 2 packs within a 24 hour period. Yeah, I know. Crazy! I could out smoke probably anyone.
The thought of not going on a long drive on the weekend without smoking, makes me sad. What will I do??? Going and having a coffee, and not smoking? Seriously??? I've seen people do it, but I don't' know how?!
It's hard too when the dude at 7-11 knows what cigarettes I smoke, and immediatly goes for them. I went there yesterday, and had to stop him and tell him I quit.
I've had so many split second thoughts of running to 7-11 and just buying a pack. Screw it. Then I come back down to reality, and I realize the only good reason I have to continue smoking is: I like it.
I have a list of reason to not smoke. Mainly, I don't have the best genes out there. Since my Dad died at 29 years old from heart disease, dying has never been far from my mind. It's actually always been pretty much right there ever since I realized about death and dying. I want to live as long as I can, and be here to see my Grandchildren. I can't imagine anything worse then dying before my children are grown.
So, yeah. I've got quite the battle ahead of me. I'm not even 48 hours into this. I'm feeling pretty good though about it. I'm even taking out $10 a day, just to see how much money I actually throw away.
My hair still smells clean. I love that!