Black Dog

It's difficult to explain depression to people who don't have it. They think you're being self-indulgent, that you should just "get happy." Sometimes, you have good days, when the voice in your head that keeps telling you you're worthless shuts up for a moment, and you can even act normal and laugh with your friends. But when the Black Dog has you in its jaws, you feel incapable of anything. You can't even explain what's going on, because they'll all think you're just asking for attention. So you hide and hope it goes away. Your friends think your silence means you don't care for them, when it's only the thought of them that keeps you from blowing your brains out. When it releases you, you don't understand how you tripped and let it catch you. You worry everyone thinks you're crazy, a pariah, and it's true, you're nuts. You just hope they'll remember the good days, and forgive you the bad ones.

 

 

 

 

Thank you to Ian for giving me the courage to post this.

Done