56/365

Day 56 of Gratitude

Vulnerability

 

I'm trying to stick with being honest but it's really hard. I've had a rough day - emotionally. I'm just not happy and I'm pretty angry at everything. I just couldn't get passed it tonight. Luckily I've found a way to be thankful through the anger. Today I am thankful for vulnerability. To represent this I chose to take a photo with me in it - kind of - because I'm not a fan of me in photos and I'm not good at taking photos of myself. Talking about or showing something not happy is also vulnerable for me because I tend to try and be happy in the public eye. This is definitely a sloppy post with a sloppy writeup but it will do.

 

Have you ever wanted to just jump? To climb something and fall. To simply test what you believe in. To see if someone would catch you. The thrill of the fall would be incredible. Your heart in your throat, your stomach feeling disconnected from your body. Free falling. Completely giving in to gravity as it pulls you towards the ground. Your arms and legs floating slightly higher than your body due to their near weightlessness in midair. The question truly is whether or not you hit the ground or get swooped up by the heroes in life. Who are the masked heroes? Perhaps they are family members or friends. It could be your faith or even a stranger who just wanted to help. The cynic in me wonders if there are no heroes. If we are all simply left to our own demise. We as humans long for something to believe in. Religious figures, spiderman, good willed people. Are these all characters from some made up story? Where are our heroes? Our saviours that will take us away from the scary back streets of our lives?

 

I want to jump. Leave me sprawling on the concrete in messy broken pieces if need be. But I want to know if what I believe in is real.

Done