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A man named Ricky...
Today I want to share a photo and a story about a man named Ricky. My brother He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother
(I took the photograph about 14 months ago while my brother was practicing as he does from time to time ... he's posted it in his photo-stream back in June 2010) Part of several sets I have on my brother
His real name is Richard, but from the day he was born I called him Ricky and it stayed with him ever since. Richard was born as my last of three brothers back in the very early 70's ... He is the youngest of three boys, two of which have already passed away. Not long after he was born, our father who was very ill, left his family (I still don't know what makes a man leave his wife and children even in his case of terminal illness; I think, he wanted to spare us the agony, of seeing his last days in a condition less than what we were use to, after being such a strong presence in our lives) Richard was born ... our father was gone soon after. Less than six months old, I took care of the tiny baby as though he was my own child. From the first day I saw him, a bond was established with him more so than my other brothers. As you can imagine, we all had to work hard to make a living; especially our mother who was left the care of such large family. I was almost fourteen and remember so well taking this little bundle with me everywhere I went ... It was my duty as the oldest. I had a full time job ranching, something I had learned from my father. I would take Ricky in his homemade basket, place 'im in the front seat of my pickup truck while I rounded cattle; branded, sprayed for ticks, sold/bought, feeding times day and night; (even nurse some of the calf’s during the winter when their own refuse to feed 'em) there were many other hundred chores of the ranch to take care of ... I also had other part time jobs doing pretty much the same thing around the area for other ranchers in order to make a living.
Those were hard years, but do not regret any single minute! Though I had to drop out of school, I tried for many years to continue my education at night finally making the first years of college in my adulthood.
From his first year till the day Ricky left to make a life of his own, I looked after him as well as other siblings while mom held several jobs. Ricky grew up to be a young, strong, willful, handsome man ... I saw in him the figure of our father; he looked so much like him, physically and in almost every other aspect, his demeanor and sometimes in his speech, especially stretching sounds in certain words would remind me so much of dad ... I found myself thinking; This is how dad must've looked like when he was young in full vigor! Richard/Ricky had the same likes and dislikes of our father, (He loved Mexican food but hated to drink milk) they both loved rodeo, took risks sometimes to the horror of our mom ... Never afraid to do anything! Extremely compassionate towards others, he resembled our dad in every aspect, the father he never knew!
One day, Richard left just like dad had done in the past when we needed him the most! But I knew Richard would be going out to make his own life, still, I felt, a part of my own heart was torn from me ... I missed him so much yet I knew it is the law of life to want make your own mark. I didn't see my brother for several years. (Except for two family reunions which he had at one of his many places where he lived) He had married, had two wonderful, beautiful children...A boy and a girl! Made a success of his life of which I was so very proud ... Lived in so many different places all over the world; sometimes it was hard to find him ... we had grown apart as family members sometimes do due to circumstances beyond our control! Richard only knew our father had passed away when he was very young but not much else was ever mentioned. In fact for several years he would call me dad; till one day someone made a terrible comment about it and he stopped talking to me for months. We had no time for clearing up such things! Our time had to be spent making a living and helping my mother with my siblings.
Years passed ... One day, The phone rang, "Hello, it's me Ricky" he was calling after being away for quite some time ... He wanted to come home, re-introduce his grown up family and be reacquainted with those of us ... I was in ecstasy! Of course not much was ever said to any of my brothers/sisters about the past. The past mom said: Is gone and done with, no sense in rehashing!! Ricky came, he paid us a visit, a very short visit; one could see the obvious; he had grown apart from his family, had made his own and it was hard to come-back to a world he’d left behind but did not exist anymore much to his disappointment ... the past was very much alive, creating the same ghosts rendering us incapable of doing much; other than formal hello's ... He left, once more, the pain was even worse than before...
Time passed on; one day almost two years ago my cell phone rang...
Hello!
Hello bro, is me Ricky!
I couldn't even speak ... I was afraid to say anything!
Bro, are you there? He added...
Yes I'm here Ricky...
Can we meet? I'll like to see you'll
Sure Ricky, I'll love to see you bro!
(We had taken to call each other bro ever since he was a teen-ager asserting himself)
I'm flying in tomorrow and would like to see you!
I would love to see you too bro!
We continue making plans to see each other, inwardly wanting to reestablish a wonderful relationship of years past. This time however it would be very different!
When I saw Richard for the first in many years one can only imagine the emotions rolling out ... It was more than my brother coming back! It was the son I never had, (Though married, I had no desire to have children of my own ... Understandably so, right?) It was a prodigal son returning for the first time in a very long time! Our mom had already passed away ... Also two brothers and two sisters had passed on ... But my brother Richard was home! I had maintained almost no contact with him but knew about him from other relatives. No direct effort had been made in a long time to contact each other; I knew it was very painful for both of us; till such day ... The rest is still working itself out!
It is going to be a while before we can truly reconcile the past; we are trying!! Will continue to work repairing our broken relationship for a long time; it took many years to get to this point in our lives! It will take many more, to improve what needs to be improved upon...
This is my bro, a man named Ricky!
Why am I sharing this story? About two weeks ago, after our first ever in many years family reunion; after all the young ones left for the summer; Ricky and I were watching the sunset by ourselves just sittin’ out in the garden, watching the hills in the far horizon ... not saying much, just thinkin’...
Suddenly Ricky said something barely audible ... he utters some word I could barely hear saying: Dad! I looked at him ... Total disbelief! He looked at me and added; I remember when I use to call you dad bro! That was long time ago, wasn't it ... you can imagine the emotions rolling out from both
I couldn't believe what he was saying! It was almost as if he was trying on his very own; to face all the ghost from a sad-horrible past ... I could feel my heart almost about to jump out of my body, I could also feel my eyes clouding so much it was hard to see 'im ... I knew then, it was time to make peace!
A man named Ricky...
Today I want to share a photo and a story about a man named Ricky. My brother He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother
(I took the photograph about 14 months ago while my brother was practicing as he does from time to time ... he's posted it in his photo-stream back in June 2010) Part of several sets I have on my brother
His real name is Richard, but from the day he was born I called him Ricky and it stayed with him ever since. Richard was born as my last of three brothers back in the very early 70's ... He is the youngest of three boys, two of which have already passed away. Not long after he was born, our father who was very ill, left his family (I still don't know what makes a man leave his wife and children even in his case of terminal illness; I think, he wanted to spare us the agony, of seeing his last days in a condition less than what we were use to, after being such a strong presence in our lives) Richard was born ... our father was gone soon after. Less than six months old, I took care of the tiny baby as though he was my own child. From the first day I saw him, a bond was established with him more so than my other brothers. As you can imagine, we all had to work hard to make a living; especially our mother who was left the care of such large family. I was almost fourteen and remember so well taking this little bundle with me everywhere I went ... It was my duty as the oldest. I had a full time job ranching, something I had learned from my father. I would take Ricky in his homemade basket, place 'im in the front seat of my pickup truck while I rounded cattle; branded, sprayed for ticks, sold/bought, feeding times day and night; (even nurse some of the calf’s during the winter when their own refuse to feed 'em) there were many other hundred chores of the ranch to take care of ... I also had other part time jobs doing pretty much the same thing around the area for other ranchers in order to make a living.
Those were hard years, but do not regret any single minute! Though I had to drop out of school, I tried for many years to continue my education at night finally making the first years of college in my adulthood.
From his first year till the day Ricky left to make a life of his own, I looked after him as well as other siblings while mom held several jobs. Ricky grew up to be a young, strong, willful, handsome man ... I saw in him the figure of our father; he looked so much like him, physically and in almost every other aspect, his demeanor and sometimes in his speech, especially stretching sounds in certain words would remind me so much of dad ... I found myself thinking; This is how dad must've looked like when he was young in full vigor! Richard/Ricky had the same likes and dislikes of our father, (He loved Mexican food but hated to drink milk) they both loved rodeo, took risks sometimes to the horror of our mom ... Never afraid to do anything! Extremely compassionate towards others, he resembled our dad in every aspect, the father he never knew!
One day, Richard left just like dad had done in the past when we needed him the most! But I knew Richard would be going out to make his own life, still, I felt, a part of my own heart was torn from me ... I missed him so much yet I knew it is the law of life to want make your own mark. I didn't see my brother for several years. (Except for two family reunions which he had at one of his many places where he lived) He had married, had two wonderful, beautiful children...A boy and a girl! Made a success of his life of which I was so very proud ... Lived in so many different places all over the world; sometimes it was hard to find him ... we had grown apart as family members sometimes do due to circumstances beyond our control! Richard only knew our father had passed away when he was very young but not much else was ever mentioned. In fact for several years he would call me dad; till one day someone made a terrible comment about it and he stopped talking to me for months. We had no time for clearing up such things! Our time had to be spent making a living and helping my mother with my siblings.
Years passed ... One day, The phone rang, "Hello, it's me Ricky" he was calling after being away for quite some time ... He wanted to come home, re-introduce his grown up family and be reacquainted with those of us ... I was in ecstasy! Of course not much was ever said to any of my brothers/sisters about the past. The past mom said: Is gone and done with, no sense in rehashing!! Ricky came, he paid us a visit, a very short visit; one could see the obvious; he had grown apart from his family, had made his own and it was hard to come-back to a world he’d left behind but did not exist anymore much to his disappointment ... the past was very much alive, creating the same ghosts rendering us incapable of doing much; other than formal hello's ... He left, once more, the pain was even worse than before...
Time passed on; one day almost two years ago my cell phone rang...
Hello!
Hello bro, is me Ricky!
I couldn't even speak ... I was afraid to say anything!
Bro, are you there? He added...
Yes I'm here Ricky...
Can we meet? I'll like to see you'll
Sure Ricky, I'll love to see you bro!
(We had taken to call each other bro ever since he was a teen-ager asserting himself)
I'm flying in tomorrow and would like to see you!
I would love to see you too bro!
We continue making plans to see each other, inwardly wanting to reestablish a wonderful relationship of years past. This time however it would be very different!
When I saw Richard for the first in many years one can only imagine the emotions rolling out ... It was more than my brother coming back! It was the son I never had, (Though married, I had no desire to have children of my own ... Understandably so, right?) It was a prodigal son returning for the first time in a very long time! Our mom had already passed away ... Also two brothers and two sisters had passed on ... But my brother Richard was home! I had maintained almost no contact with him but knew about him from other relatives. No direct effort had been made in a long time to contact each other; I knew it was very painful for both of us; till such day ... The rest is still working itself out!
It is going to be a while before we can truly reconcile the past; we are trying!! Will continue to work repairing our broken relationship for a long time; it took many years to get to this point in our lives! It will take many more, to improve what needs to be improved upon...
This is my bro, a man named Ricky!
Why am I sharing this story? About two weeks ago, after our first ever in many years family reunion; after all the young ones left for the summer; Ricky and I were watching the sunset by ourselves just sittin’ out in the garden, watching the hills in the far horizon ... not saying much, just thinkin’...
Suddenly Ricky said something barely audible ... he utters some word I could barely hear saying: Dad! I looked at him ... Total disbelief! He looked at me and added; I remember when I use to call you dad bro! That was long time ago, wasn't it ... you can imagine the emotions rolling out from both
I couldn't believe what he was saying! It was almost as if he was trying on his very own; to face all the ghost from a sad-horrible past ... I could feel my heart almost about to jump out of my body, I could also feel my eyes clouding so much it was hard to see 'im ... I knew then, it was time to make peace!