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Finding Alice (again)

Sorry for being so MIA on here, flickr! I've had a rotten few weeks, bottom of the barrel type stuff. I could feel the depression dog nipping at my ankles, and for someone who has never experienced truly unrelenting lethargy, hopelessness and constant lack of energy it really has thrown me off guard!!

 

Luckily my inner self-awareness meerkat has pricked it's ears up and I'm taking care of it, and of myself. I was doing some research on Self Love last night, and had a think and wrote this up:

 

Last night I realised that

"Self love" isn't blocking pain from entering you

It isn't hissing at the enemy, or drowning in self pity

Or promising yourself to love less, next time

To care less, to allow less to hurt you

Self love is not becoming hard, strong

Self love is allowing yourself to stay soft

Self love is allowing things to come and go as they will

And being peaceful in the knowledge that you will want to restore yourself

Should you become damaged in the process.

Self love is not self protection.

It is self preservation, it is the commitment of gardening and nourishing your own soul, even through the winter

Learning the ability to hold yourself at your weakest

And acknowledging that this is very hard to do.

So, next time your self love involves building a wall

Look at the wall, brick by brick, and take it down with care, not because you don't need walls

but because you owe yourself the view behind it.

177/365

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Uploaded on December 11, 2016
Taken on December 11, 2016