to the girl I can't put into words

Dear Noukka,

I don't know why I always find it so hard to start writing something for the people who inspire me most when there's a million feelings about their photos inside of me. But putting them into words is something I tend to avoid because it's just another thing I could easily put on my to do list, and I just caught myself smiling writing that because you're probably the first person to understand what I mean.

So what I did is I got myself a cup of coffee the other day, sat down in front of my computer and went back to one of the first pages on your photostream. Not all the way back, but to the beginning of your first 365. I started a slideshow, which I have never done before, and looked at all the photos you've uploaded in the past two and a half years. I thought I would just let it play, but the truth is after every other photo I paused it to read your description, because I suddenly found it so interesting to discover how you were back then, and why you took the photo the way it is. So all in all it took me four hours on two different days instead of maybe just half an hour, but it was probably the best spent four hours of my whole week.

I still remember the day I discovered your photos or rather a few days after. I don't know what day it was exactly and how I found you in the first place, but I remember the happiness I felt when you added me back. Because it's one of the most wonderful, and rarest, things when someone who inspires me, somehow, is drawn to my photos as well. And still I would never have thought that some day, I would get to meet you in person, for you were so far away at that point.

I usually have a concept in my head when I go out to take a photo for someone, something significant that I connect with their photos. But with you, there is just so much. I got to know so many different sides of you over the months that I can't express anymore what it is that always makes me come back to your photos. As simple as that might sound, I think it's just you. You as in the girl I can't put into words. I think I'll just leave it at that and not try and display why you've come to mean so much to me. I think you know and that's all that counts.

So in the middle of going through all those photos you took, I went into my forest and set up my camera to deal with all that I've seen and to explore it a little further. I didn't know what I was doing at all, nor did I know what I wanted to do. But although the final photo turned out to be quite simple and I still cannot explain what exactly there is to see in it, I can say with certainty that it is made up of hundreds of small parts of your soul and mind that spoke to me through your photos. I just wanted to try something different because I didn't know how to approach taking a photo for you that doesn't simply say “happy birthday!” (which was the first reason I ever made anything for you exactly two years ago) in the first place, and I hope in some way it does make sense to you.

I want you to know I will always be proud of you for everything you've done so far, and even though your 366 didn't turn out the way you probably thought it would in the beginning, I still loved it and I can't wait for the rest of the photos that are part of it to appear on your photostream.

I also hope you're going to have the most wonderful day, and that you're spending it with lovely people and with lots of positive thoughts on your mind. Happy birthday! :)

When I first met you in person in summer last year, I was in awe because you were actually that wonderful, talkative, pretty, imaginative girl I had pictured, and to be honest I was a little proud to be able to say I know you. And then you came visit me only three weeks ago and I think it changed things between us a lot. Before, you were the girl I knew from the internet that I had met once and that I was so inspired by. But suddenly you became a lot more. You became someone I could share ideas with, who helped me with what occupied me most, who made me come closer to taking that one photo I absolutely loved, who I could sit in the same room with in silence, who understood. You still are all of what you used to be for me, but there's this small part between us that wasn't as clear until now. That small part that came from nowhere and suddenly has had such a big impact. That small part that I will simply call a friendship, and a special one at that.

Thank you for just being there these past two years, and for staying yourself all that time. To be able to call someone who so many people look up to, and deservedly so, my friend, is something I will forever be grateful for.

With lots of love,

Rona

 

[She finished her 366.]

Done