this is just the start of a new journey

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this picture is for Lauren Withrow as she finished her 365 project today.

 

when I came home today it was dark already and I thought I couldn’t take the pictures I wanted to. but then I came up with something. I turned on the headlights of my father’s car (I always use it to get to locations) to create that lighting. but still, I didn’t take that many pictures as I was alone on the edge of the forest and I was actually scared. but I wanted to have something for Lauren.

 

the picture of her I printed is the first one in comments of this one.

I posted my favourites of all her pictures in the comments, too.

 

 

Lauren,

today is the end of something that accompanied you for a whole year. but it’s also the start of something new.

the picture I used is the first one I ever commented of your photos. it means a lot to me because it’s been the reason for looking at other pictures you took, it’s the reason for me falling in love with your work.

I discovered you in july this year but at the time you were only another new contact after I gradually started to use flickr regularly. in the beginning I have been impressed by your ability to use simple things like sunlight. but then I started to have a closer look, to behold your expressions, your poses. I started to read what you were trying to tell, and at some point I felt like I was able to understand. it hasn’t been until august that I finally wrote a comment as I wanted to tell you how much I liked your work. I’ve been the happiest girl alive when you added me back. ever since I checked every single picture you uploaded. and I didn’t just have a short look at it. I surveyed them all, trying to comprehend what you’ve been feeling. looking at your pictures is one of my favourite things to do. I mean that. they are full of life and emotions, they’re not just ‚pretty‘ or ‚amazing‘, they tell a story. your personal story.

I began to read your descriptions, I tried to understand them. I really like that you don’t just tell what you’ve been feeling like, you show with your photos and the associated words. I felt like I got to know you better, also because of our flickrmails. I noticed that you are a person who does things for her own good, not to please others or let alone for others. I realized that I could accept everything you do and believe in because of that. there have been times in my life when I met people who told me they believed in god and I just couldn’t comprehend. as I told you, I haven’t been ‚taught‘ that religion and I have never been interested in it, so that belief is somehow weird in my eyes, sometimes even repellent. but talking to you made me realize that I admire your view of things. not in the way that I wanted to change and believe in god, too, but I just liked how you know and accept that there’s something that helps you to keep going and you apply it to yourself without wanting to convince others. I like talking to you so much because you write in a very mature way, you are able to accept what others think, and when you include your point of view, you don’t impose anything on the reader, you just tell how you feel like.

also, you helped me a lot since I got to know you. earlier this year I was thinking of my work and how I felt like I pretended to be someone I’m not, how I showed emotions I didn’t feel at that moment. but once you told me that every feeling you show in your pictures was real, that you felt like that sometime in your life, either while taking the pictures or at some point in the past. that made me think and I realized that I do the same thing. I just didn’t know. every feeling I retained in my pictures so far is actually true to the marrow, I just wasn’t aware of the fact that I sometimes reproduce feelings I had a long time ago. I wanted to thank you for making me comprehend, you probably don’t know how much that means to me, how good that reversal point felt. but thank you. truly. but most of all I am thankful for how much you inspired me the past weeks.

sadly I haven’t been following your work from the beginning, but I had a look at many of your pictures and I’m planning on going through your whole 365 sometime soon. I just want you to know that in the past 4 months that I’ve been watching your work, I learned a lot. you taught me how to use lighting and how to express myself, even though you probably didn’t intend to. you made me think beyond so many times, you made me feel with you or smile with you or be truly happy with you, just by allowing me to view your work.

I think you are very special and at this point I can say that you are one of my favourite photographers. you are and I hope that you will be in the future, too.

I am kind of sad about you finishing this project as I know that I won’t see as many self portraits as the past weeks, maybe even none at all for some time. I think I somehow became hooked on viewing your pictures every day. :) but nevertheless, I am happy for you because I know that you’ve been waiting for this day to come for a long time, even though you might be quite nostalgic today. I am happy that you made it, that I had the chance to take part in it. I am truly happy for you. and I think I will like whatever you will do next. you said something about new projects you had in mind a few weeks ago and I’m very excited for what you will come up with, even if I won’t see you in those pictures. you will still be taking them and you will be putting feeling into them just like you did the past year.

I hope to see many new photos from you in the future and I hope I can still read some updates on your life because I really like to find out more about you.

you enriched my world, Lauren, and I wish you all the best. for now and for tomorrow and for the rest of your life. you are unique.

[I’ve been thinking of you all day long. today was Lauren-day. :)]

 

I wrote that yesterday because of time difference and I hate that I can only post it as the hundred-what-not-th comment. but actually it doesn’t matter.

I had goosebumps while reading your text. I just got up, 4 minutes ago, I couldn’t wait to see your picture. I didn’t expect this. you created something more beautiful and more expressive than ever before, in my opinion it’s the perfect end for your 365. I can see that end in your picture. your expression says it. but I can also see the beginning of something completely new.

You outdid yourself. right now this picture is one of the prettiest things I have ever seen. I am not just saying that, I’m feeling that way.

I still have goosebumps. I would like to write more about the picture but I’m too tired and not able to speak.

just remember

It’s perfect. It’s perfect.

It’s perfect.

I will write you a flickrmail tonight.

 

you are magical, Lauren.

 

Done