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saying goodbye

My grandmother passed away when I was 14. I don't think she has any biological relationship with my mother and I, but I never managed to understand what happened to the adults. I just remember I heard my mother crying the night we're back from hospital after saying goodbye to her. I remember I heard my mother saying, "We've been together so many years after all, how can I not feel sad?"

 

Since I moved here when i was 15, I never really thought of it as my home. Probably because I don't grow up here, I never feel like belonging to here. But that's how human behavior becomes interesting - you stay here long enough, you become a lot more attached to here than you have ever imagined.

 

I was taking a few snapshots of this small room before I started packing things, and then I remembered who was once here with me in this room, watching volleyball news on sina.com.cn while I was preparing myself for the late lunch on Saturdays. I didn't realize until just now I am going to say goodbye to all these memories very soon.

 

And I didn't realize until just now this house-moving indeed marks the end of the year long post-breakup activities.

 

Saying goodbye is never easy but sometimes it's necessary. Looking back, I have never regretted that I suggested it's better sooner than later should we had to break up. I may feel sad for quite some time, yet I know I will feel relieved whenever I know I have made this decision correct & practical - someone taught me so, and I have proudly internalized this wisdom throughout all these years. Goodbye to you, goodbye to my 20s. Hello to my new room, hello to the new year.

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Uploaded on November 19, 2008
Taken on November 20, 2008