Just don't turn into stone...
Earlier this week I was really upset over one particular situation. Let's say I was just trying to suggest a better solution, so all of us wouldn't look tone-deaf to what's happening and might happen. And I read that some people out there suggested the same thing and it was accepted where they are, so I knew this solution is very easy and somewhat common.
But...
No one supported it.
I was just being that one freak who always complains and no one backed up my decision. No one said "she's right, I'm gonna do the same thing". Everyone was just silent except for some people who said they don't like my choice of words (fair enough, my wording was bad) or that it's just nothing important. Even when I tried to apologize and exposed my weak point to explain why am I trying to make some change here and not anywhere else, no one said anything, though actually it was a cry for help.
I was so upset, I lied down at evening to cry, but when I finished crying, I was so exhausted, I couldn't get up at all, even to turn off the lights. Was the situation that much important? Of course, it wasn't! But I hate when I know that I'm doing the right thing, but I am the only one who thinks that way, and everybody else thinks it's just useless or not important or won't change anything or not worth the effort. I'm so tired of being the only restless troublemaker warrior in the field. There is safety in numbers, I just needed one person, just one - anyone! - to support my suggestion by joining me.
But no one did.
And it's always like that, whenever I go, over and over again, I'm always feeling like I'm the only person who really cares about something, while everbody else just doing their thing without paying much attention to others. How many times I asked people to do something just to hear that it's none of their business? It happened even when it was about helping a friend and the help in question was just to tell the other friend of theirs some important information. How many times I asked people to do something, but everybody was like "nah, it's not important"? Or worse, "no one owes nothing to nobody" (in the situation where "no one" and "nobody" in question were friends, or at least "nobody" thought so). Well, if everyone will live like that, the world will be a pretty shit place.
So I thought - whatever, this week's situation is dumb, it wasn't worth my tears, but there's one thing I know for sure. I don't want to turn into that stone-like people I see everywhere, who can't bring themselves to do even a slightest change, who just keep to pretend they see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.
Just don't turn into stone...
Earlier this week I was really upset over one particular situation. Let's say I was just trying to suggest a better solution, so all of us wouldn't look tone-deaf to what's happening and might happen. And I read that some people out there suggested the same thing and it was accepted where they are, so I knew this solution is very easy and somewhat common.
But...
No one supported it.
I was just being that one freak who always complains and no one backed up my decision. No one said "she's right, I'm gonna do the same thing". Everyone was just silent except for some people who said they don't like my choice of words (fair enough, my wording was bad) or that it's just nothing important. Even when I tried to apologize and exposed my weak point to explain why am I trying to make some change here and not anywhere else, no one said anything, though actually it was a cry for help.
I was so upset, I lied down at evening to cry, but when I finished crying, I was so exhausted, I couldn't get up at all, even to turn off the lights. Was the situation that much important? Of course, it wasn't! But I hate when I know that I'm doing the right thing, but I am the only one who thinks that way, and everybody else thinks it's just useless or not important or won't change anything or not worth the effort. I'm so tired of being the only restless troublemaker warrior in the field. There is safety in numbers, I just needed one person, just one - anyone! - to support my suggestion by joining me.
But no one did.
And it's always like that, whenever I go, over and over again, I'm always feeling like I'm the only person who really cares about something, while everbody else just doing their thing without paying much attention to others. How many times I asked people to do something just to hear that it's none of their business? It happened even when it was about helping a friend and the help in question was just to tell the other friend of theirs some important information. How many times I asked people to do something, but everybody was like "nah, it's not important"? Or worse, "no one owes nothing to nobody" (in the situation where "no one" and "nobody" in question were friends, or at least "nobody" thought so). Well, if everyone will live like that, the world will be a pretty shit place.
So I thought - whatever, this week's situation is dumb, it wasn't worth my tears, but there's one thing I know for sure. I don't want to turn into that stone-like people I see everywhere, who can't bring themselves to do even a slightest change, who just keep to pretend they see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.