united

 

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English

will be the official language of the European nation rather than German

which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations Her Majesty's

Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement

and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as

"Euro-English".

In the first year "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil

servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k".

This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the

troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like

fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year publik akseptance of the new spelling

kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are

possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which

have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl

mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer pepl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z"

and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords

kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech

oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

 

Done