The Story...only for the very bored...but you too can torture your friends this way! Teresa's Coronation

For those bored; the story being read to the blindfolded birthday girl

 

Baby bongos

Tamborine

Xylophone

2 Maracas

Guitar

2 Recorders…

Spray bottle with salt water…

 

Tamborine and the rest of the instruments to be used in any Middle Eastern scene that has music…we can adlib somewhat as well. Perhaps during narrative parts the guitar can be lightly stroked.

 

 

This is a story with narration, and I will be the narrator. (Mickey)

 

This is an evening of remembrance; a remembrance of events gone before, lives changed and order restored. Who is Teresa? What is Teresa? Where has she come from? Where is she going to? Why is she blindfolded? Well we say:

 

ALL: Why not?

 

Narrator: Yes indeed, why not? However you have come to a time in your life that you, yes you Teresa, must rediscover your past and take hold of your future. We are your facilitators in your discovery and insomuch have taken the liberty of putting drugs in the drink that you now hold in your hands. Drink of it and face all that you are and all that you can be.

 

ALL: Chug, Chug, Chug, Chug….(chanting till she finishes the drink}

 

ALL: Discussion ensues without paying any mind to Teresa…things like…How long do you think this will take? Isn’t this dangerous? Could she die? Has anyone here done this before? ….oh well.

 

Narrator: Do you hear me Teresa? We are going to go back in time Teresa. Way back…

(Hold clock or watch to her ear and eerie music with the Recorders) We are going back to the time of your birth, but first we must get there. Concentrate….Concentrate more…come on Teresa you can do better than that. Tell us when you are crossing the Atlantic ocean. (see what she says, but when she says she can see it we spray her with water with salt in it)

 

Are you crossing the Atlantic Teresa? Lick your lips…what does it taste like? Okay great, I thought you were hovering over Lake Ontario there. You are doing good and have passed the first quest. Many have died with the spray of Lake Ontario. You are more powerful than we first imagined. Isn’t that right facilitators?

 

ALL: (Quick agreement, like yeah, like way powerful)

 

Narrator: Teresa where are you now?

 

ALL: (Speak Polish)

Narrator: Good Teresa, now concentrate more

 

ALL: English accents…

 

…Where are you now

 

Narrator: Go south Teresa…

 

ALL: (Speaking our crappy French…Bonjour, ect)

 

Narrator: It is time to leave this country now Teresa. Concentrate, concentrate on the country of your birth.

 

(She will say Poland...but we correct her)

 

(Middle eastern music starts off soft ever increasing…suddenly the music stops and bongos are hit in rapid succession) What year is it Teresa? (Make her go back until she says 1955…soon as she says it we all say…)

 

ALL: The chosen one is born!

 

Chris: (Cry out like a baby is being born)

 

ALL: (Middle Eastern Music, great rejoicing…old middle eastern women asking to touch the baby, hold the baby and feed the baby)

 

Wanda: Stop you foolish women! (Music is lowered) You will get your camel lice all over the new born babe. We have lost so many chosen ones from your middle eastern cooties. Smarten up, and listen.

 

The babe is in great peril.

 

ALL: (lamenting…Oh have mercy on this child)

 

Wanda: Shut uppa your bouches old hags. Our enemies are are planning to kidnap the child led by their leader Matt Ingo…a desperate sad and pathetic pig who wants to rob this child of her birthright.

 

Chris as Matt Ingo: Did someone mention my name?

 

ALL: (screaming…oh no Matt Ingo is here, music is loud…lots of commotion, music stops suddenly…total silence then ….

 

Diane in Aussie accent says: “Mattdingo has stolen my baby”

 

Narrator: Yes, Matt dingo having stolen the chosen one whisked the child to Toronto Canada where no one could find her. However when he was faced with the task of killing the child he could not bring himself to do the deed.

 

CHRIS AS MATT INGO: I just can’t do it!

 

Narrator:

 

Instead he found a couple living on Springhurst who would raise the child as their own for the price of two camels and a 40 ouncer of Vodka.

 

Narrator: Dang this will have to be continued...this Flickr doesn't hold much text does it..hmmm...thinking, thinking...continued...

Done