Secret #2: my miracle babies
This is a pretty important secret because it kinda defines me.
I had never experienced something so difficult in my life before until my husband and I started to try having children. For 3 long years we tried and failed over and over. I lost 3 babies during that time, my first baby at 12 weeks. After going through those loses and what it took mentally, emotionally and physically, I feel like I was made into a new person. A new person who didn't take things so much for granted anymore. And a person who gratefully loved life and understood for the first time how precious it was. After my 1st loss, I took it upon myself to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist and I am thankful I did that. She was amazing. After my 3rd loss and zillions of tests (fertility drugs and shots as well, which resulted in ovarian hyperstimulation putting me on bedrest twice for 2 weeks at a time), we tried IUI (artificial insemination twice) and when those failed, I was scheduled in March for surgery. Laproscopy, among other surgeries. I was going to have 5 done all at once. At the end of February right a week or two before my surgeries, I found out I was pregnant. At 7 weeks gestation, for the first time I saw on the ultrasound screen, a live beating heart. I bawled. But at the same time, I was very cautious. So cautious that I was a nervous wreck and didn't enjoy my pregnancy much at all. But I guess that would be a given. And yes, I said "pregnancy"! Once I "cleared" the 12 weeks mark, I felt more calm and at ease. I had a live baby growing inside of me!
In October of 2003 I had Noah by true emergency c-section. During labor, his heart rate dropped so quickly, almost dying, that I had to be put completely under for the delivery. My husband was not even allowed in the room. Within 6 minutes, Noah was out. I woke up 2 hours later and finally saw him 3 hours later. He was my first true miracle. I never had such emotion built up in my heart until that moment when the love just poured.
Then miraculously around the time Noah turned 1, I got pregnant again and it was another thriving baby!! In October 2005 I had Maia. I tried having a VBAC but after 31 hours of labor, that did not work out so well. I had to go in for another c-section. It was shear disappointment, but at least she arrived safely. A heart problem was detected in her immediately and so she was rushed to level II and so once again, I didn't get to hold my baby right after delivery. She would be in level II for 3 days. Heart results were sent to a bigger city's Pediatric Cardiologist, and she was miraculously given the "ok" to be taken off all breathing tubes, etc. Turns out she has a "boot-shaped" heart, but should not cause her problems as she gets older, but of course it will be monitored.
Whew. That was a lot eh? Yeah, tell me about it! :)
So that's my 2nd secret, and I promise it will the deepest of them all. I could have not mentioned it, but then I feel I'd be lying about something that really truly defines me. I know what I have been through was a trial but was something that made my husband and I grow. It made me appreciate life and love so much more, and especially made me appreciate God above more. My eyes have been opened. I hope I never go back to taking life for granted, but I have these two miracles in front of me every day, reminding me of what I went through so that I don't forget.
Thank you for letting me share this with you..
xxoo
Secret #2: my miracle babies
This is a pretty important secret because it kinda defines me.
I had never experienced something so difficult in my life before until my husband and I started to try having children. For 3 long years we tried and failed over and over. I lost 3 babies during that time, my first baby at 12 weeks. After going through those loses and what it took mentally, emotionally and physically, I feel like I was made into a new person. A new person who didn't take things so much for granted anymore. And a person who gratefully loved life and understood for the first time how precious it was. After my 1st loss, I took it upon myself to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist and I am thankful I did that. She was amazing. After my 3rd loss and zillions of tests (fertility drugs and shots as well, which resulted in ovarian hyperstimulation putting me on bedrest twice for 2 weeks at a time), we tried IUI (artificial insemination twice) and when those failed, I was scheduled in March for surgery. Laproscopy, among other surgeries. I was going to have 5 done all at once. At the end of February right a week or two before my surgeries, I found out I was pregnant. At 7 weeks gestation, for the first time I saw on the ultrasound screen, a live beating heart. I bawled. But at the same time, I was very cautious. So cautious that I was a nervous wreck and didn't enjoy my pregnancy much at all. But I guess that would be a given. And yes, I said "pregnancy"! Once I "cleared" the 12 weeks mark, I felt more calm and at ease. I had a live baby growing inside of me!
In October of 2003 I had Noah by true emergency c-section. During labor, his heart rate dropped so quickly, almost dying, that I had to be put completely under for the delivery. My husband was not even allowed in the room. Within 6 minutes, Noah was out. I woke up 2 hours later and finally saw him 3 hours later. He was my first true miracle. I never had such emotion built up in my heart until that moment when the love just poured.
Then miraculously around the time Noah turned 1, I got pregnant again and it was another thriving baby!! In October 2005 I had Maia. I tried having a VBAC but after 31 hours of labor, that did not work out so well. I had to go in for another c-section. It was shear disappointment, but at least she arrived safely. A heart problem was detected in her immediately and so she was rushed to level II and so once again, I didn't get to hold my baby right after delivery. She would be in level II for 3 days. Heart results were sent to a bigger city's Pediatric Cardiologist, and she was miraculously given the "ok" to be taken off all breathing tubes, etc. Turns out she has a "boot-shaped" heart, but should not cause her problems as she gets older, but of course it will be monitored.
Whew. That was a lot eh? Yeah, tell me about it! :)
So that's my 2nd secret, and I promise it will the deepest of them all. I could have not mentioned it, but then I feel I'd be lying about something that really truly defines me. I know what I have been through was a trial but was something that made my husband and I grow. It made me appreciate life and love so much more, and especially made me appreciate God above more. My eyes have been opened. I hope I never go back to taking life for granted, but I have these two miracles in front of me every day, reminding me of what I went through so that I don't forget.
Thank you for letting me share this with you..
xxoo