postbear
hallowe'en: asshole, ghoul or both?
some costumes are just gifts of circumstance. with the moronic clown rob ford being voted in by a small-minded collection of bigots and apologists for bigots, the choice this year was clear. no harm was done to this opportunity given the fact that captain shithead favours cheap, ugly suits that don't fit, loud ties, operated with one single slogan (which provided disgusting imagery) that even toronto sun readers could memorise and opted for the impaired antics of a teenager stealing his first case of beer.
i wanted a shrek mask to work from, but every store i went to was free of them, and after ten shops i gave up. so, i took a cheap rubber frankenstein mask and soaked it in pig urine and rancid buttermilk to drain some of the colour from it, leaving it wet and pasty like the real rob ford face. adding to that the cheapest, ugliest suit i could find at a thrift shop (with bonus points to the goodwill cashier who gave me an additional 50% discount when i told her what the costume was), an old pair of cheap running shoes with white socks, a loud, wide tie, and i was all set. wait, had to grab a bottle of skanky beer, a lawn sign that the ford team asked to put up on my lawn (no, fuck off) and one last thing: the gravy train. as with the shrek mask, i had no luck in finding a cheap toy train in the dollar stores around town. i did find some for eight or nine bucks, but that was 300% the cost of the suit so fuck that noise. instead, i drew a train on a sticker and after affixing, shambled around the neighbourhood hollering drunken abuse incoherently at people.
just like rob ford.
hallowe'en: asshole, ghoul or both?
some costumes are just gifts of circumstance. with the moronic clown rob ford being voted in by a small-minded collection of bigots and apologists for bigots, the choice this year was clear. no harm was done to this opportunity given the fact that captain shithead favours cheap, ugly suits that don't fit, loud ties, operated with one single slogan (which provided disgusting imagery) that even toronto sun readers could memorise and opted for the impaired antics of a teenager stealing his first case of beer.
i wanted a shrek mask to work from, but every store i went to was free of them, and after ten shops i gave up. so, i took a cheap rubber frankenstein mask and soaked it in pig urine and rancid buttermilk to drain some of the colour from it, leaving it wet and pasty like the real rob ford face. adding to that the cheapest, ugliest suit i could find at a thrift shop (with bonus points to the goodwill cashier who gave me an additional 50% discount when i told her what the costume was), an old pair of cheap running shoes with white socks, a loud, wide tie, and i was all set. wait, had to grab a bottle of skanky beer, a lawn sign that the ford team asked to put up on my lawn (no, fuck off) and one last thing: the gravy train. as with the shrek mask, i had no luck in finding a cheap toy train in the dollar stores around town. i did find some for eight or nine bucks, but that was 300% the cost of the suit so fuck that noise. instead, i drew a train on a sticker and after affixing, shambled around the neighbourhood hollering drunken abuse incoherently at people.
just like rob ford.