pimpdisclosure
come on eileen
P • 58
•Tիe ր¡мր cիгიդւcles•
02 • 08 • 2011
So the other day me and my pimp family are rollin’ in a store called IKEA. Yes, the Swedish version of Walmart has arrived in a big way in America. For whatever reason, my kid likes strolling through there and jumping on the beds and shit like that. Sometimes I join her, everyone else can go get fucked.
I do have a point here, bear with me.
So as I sit, and apparently jump my way through this fucking maze of marketing brilliance, I can’t help but always notice all these hip little couples walking through with their hip little family unit adorning all this hip shit.
Problem is, this “shit” is about as hip as the big shiny expensive rims I saw on a 1987 Buick Century today.
IT AIN’T.
I do have a point here. And it deals with this attractive flower shot. Bear with me.
Here’s the problem I have with the whole stinkin’ ordeal. IKEA has basically taken an idea that was probably at its advent original and fun and neat. And then essentially completely exploited it around the globe all the way to America. And the crazy corporate humanitarians that they are, we all know IKEA isn’t alone here. But we’re going to use them as the assfuck victim for my blog because I want to.
“But pimp, what do you mean? IKEA is so cool! Look at my coffee table, I feel like a Chinaman cause it’s so low to the ground. I drink my black tea here and cross my legs too. I am so hip!”
First of all you motherfucking politically incorrect motherfucker, it’s ASIAN, not Chinaman. Where you been fuckface?
Secondly, your “hip” little coffee table is owned by, and this is a low-ball estimate, ONE MILLION UN-CHINAMAN AROUND THE WORLD!!!! I bet I could Google that Chinaman piece of shit on the internet and find one thousand white trash fuckers in trailers eating kung-pow chicken off of it right now. You’re about as hip as Lance Armstrong’s second testicle.
My point? It’s coming. Calm down sillyhead.
Before we do that, while we’re on the subject, can we please give an honorable mention award for every single piece of IKEA's lovely artwork? I mean the furniture is one thing. At least that kind of gets lost in the confines of someone’s fat ass sitting on it or shit sitting on the tables. But the IKEA artwork? Does anyone really buy this shit and put it on their walls? Do you motherfuckers realize you are buying the same thing that is on 350 million other idiots have hanging proudly on their cool wall? Your artwork is mass produced garbage. Just stop it now. Take it down. Just stop.
I’ll wait.
Go take it down.
DOWN
DOWN
DOWN
DOWN
TAKE IT DOWN!!!!!!!!!! TAKE YOUR IKEA ART DOWN its GARBAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE IT DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God I hate getting worked up but if there isn’t much worse than a piece of Ikea artwork on someone else’s wall.
Okay, My point? Right.
Yes, the flower shot. Well. I figured I had to give you all a flower shot one day. This is not a joke. You have dialed the right number. Yes, self-proclaimed hater of flower shots has posted a nice colorful delicate flower for you to drool over.
“Put pimp, I figured I’d get a shot of your cock before I ever got a flower shot, why pimp, WHY? WHY????”
Yeah I hear ya. Well see, let me explain why I hate flower shots first.
Answer: They are all beautiful. They are ALL THE SAME. A fucking flower is about as god given beauty as you will find on this planet since the days of Adam and Eve. It’s like taking the OBVIOUS and giving OBVIOUS beauty. Get a good macro lens, put that fucker on f1.2, good focus, hit any stupid fuck flower in the world.
BAMN! BOOM! CLICK! Done.
Flower shot. Beauty. Blah blah blah boring boring boring. Just like your IKEA garbage that is everywhere.
Flower = beauty. Take a picture of beauty, big deal.
BIG
FAT
BORE
The shot at hand? A tiny little flower among the rocks and grass that I bet no one ever noticed but me and the bumble bees. Why? Well it was just a tiny purple nothing. It was small, dying, sitting among the rubble of rocks and had no color to really add to the scene. It was ugly. It looks a little better in this picture than it did sitting there dying.
But in the end? It’s still a flower shot.
I’m a sell-out. IKEA here I come.
€Θnάịм Tђú ૭$
come on eileen
P • 58
•Tիe ր¡мր cիгიդւcles•
02 • 08 • 2011
So the other day me and my pimp family are rollin’ in a store called IKEA. Yes, the Swedish version of Walmart has arrived in a big way in America. For whatever reason, my kid likes strolling through there and jumping on the beds and shit like that. Sometimes I join her, everyone else can go get fucked.
I do have a point here, bear with me.
So as I sit, and apparently jump my way through this fucking maze of marketing brilliance, I can’t help but always notice all these hip little couples walking through with their hip little family unit adorning all this hip shit.
Problem is, this “shit” is about as hip as the big shiny expensive rims I saw on a 1987 Buick Century today.
IT AIN’T.
I do have a point here. And it deals with this attractive flower shot. Bear with me.
Here’s the problem I have with the whole stinkin’ ordeal. IKEA has basically taken an idea that was probably at its advent original and fun and neat. And then essentially completely exploited it around the globe all the way to America. And the crazy corporate humanitarians that they are, we all know IKEA isn’t alone here. But we’re going to use them as the assfuck victim for my blog because I want to.
“But pimp, what do you mean? IKEA is so cool! Look at my coffee table, I feel like a Chinaman cause it’s so low to the ground. I drink my black tea here and cross my legs too. I am so hip!”
First of all you motherfucking politically incorrect motherfucker, it’s ASIAN, not Chinaman. Where you been fuckface?
Secondly, your “hip” little coffee table is owned by, and this is a low-ball estimate, ONE MILLION UN-CHINAMAN AROUND THE WORLD!!!! I bet I could Google that Chinaman piece of shit on the internet and find one thousand white trash fuckers in trailers eating kung-pow chicken off of it right now. You’re about as hip as Lance Armstrong’s second testicle.
My point? It’s coming. Calm down sillyhead.
Before we do that, while we’re on the subject, can we please give an honorable mention award for every single piece of IKEA's lovely artwork? I mean the furniture is one thing. At least that kind of gets lost in the confines of someone’s fat ass sitting on it or shit sitting on the tables. But the IKEA artwork? Does anyone really buy this shit and put it on their walls? Do you motherfuckers realize you are buying the same thing that is on 350 million other idiots have hanging proudly on their cool wall? Your artwork is mass produced garbage. Just stop it now. Take it down. Just stop.
I’ll wait.
Go take it down.
DOWN
DOWN
DOWN
DOWN
TAKE IT DOWN!!!!!!!!!! TAKE YOUR IKEA ART DOWN its GARBAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE IT DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God I hate getting worked up but if there isn’t much worse than a piece of Ikea artwork on someone else’s wall.
Okay, My point? Right.
Yes, the flower shot. Well. I figured I had to give you all a flower shot one day. This is not a joke. You have dialed the right number. Yes, self-proclaimed hater of flower shots has posted a nice colorful delicate flower for you to drool over.
“Put pimp, I figured I’d get a shot of your cock before I ever got a flower shot, why pimp, WHY? WHY????”
Yeah I hear ya. Well see, let me explain why I hate flower shots first.
Answer: They are all beautiful. They are ALL THE SAME. A fucking flower is about as god given beauty as you will find on this planet since the days of Adam and Eve. It’s like taking the OBVIOUS and giving OBVIOUS beauty. Get a good macro lens, put that fucker on f1.2, good focus, hit any stupid fuck flower in the world.
BAMN! BOOM! CLICK! Done.
Flower shot. Beauty. Blah blah blah boring boring boring. Just like your IKEA garbage that is everywhere.
Flower = beauty. Take a picture of beauty, big deal.
BIG
FAT
BORE
The shot at hand? A tiny little flower among the rocks and grass that I bet no one ever noticed but me and the bumble bees. Why? Well it was just a tiny purple nothing. It was small, dying, sitting among the rubble of rocks and had no color to really add to the scene. It was ugly. It looks a little better in this picture than it did sitting there dying.
But in the end? It’s still a flower shot.
I’m a sell-out. IKEA here I come.
€Θnάịм Tђú ૭$