Mario Memories
Ink and Marker on Post-It, 2010.
As a kid, I set out to "design" a totally revolutionary Mario game. The controls would be a combination of TMNT the Arcade Game and Mario, it'd be 4-player (all at once!), and it'd be rad as shit. Totally way before Mario 64, which was beyond my wildest dreams. I wonder if I still have my shitty drawings of how the gameplay would look and what kinda things you could do. I wish someone would make a 16-bit Smash Brothers game - you know how making pixel-based games is in now - like that. Someone, anyone, you - you who's reading this - make a 16-bit Smash Brothers game with sprites from SNES games. You can do it. I have faith in you.
I don't think I was the only kid who thoroughly enjoyed toys that were broken and had missing appendages. I had this shitty He-Man figurine, I think his name was Fisto or something. I must have ripped his legs off at some point during a temper tantrum, and he was so much cooler without legs. Those dumb toys couldn't stand up on their own anyway, so it's not like the toy lost any functionality. He became this dude with no legs who could float! And in certain circumstances, he could fly. A million times cooler than some dipshit in gay brown underwear and shoes wearing a metal glove.
I remember playing Super Mario Bros., and I remember my mom going to rent Super Mario Bros. 2 for me at Blockbuster when I was at school one day, and what a really nice thing that was of her to do. I turned out pretty rotten, and I wonder how much more rotten I'd turn out if I had shitty parents.
Do you remember the Super Mario World Cartoon? How come those Mario cartoons kinda made cool video characters very unlikable? Yoshi was a total retard, and in the original Super Mario Bros. cartoon, Toad was queerbait.
Mario Memories
Ink and Marker on Post-It, 2010.
As a kid, I set out to "design" a totally revolutionary Mario game. The controls would be a combination of TMNT the Arcade Game and Mario, it'd be 4-player (all at once!), and it'd be rad as shit. Totally way before Mario 64, which was beyond my wildest dreams. I wonder if I still have my shitty drawings of how the gameplay would look and what kinda things you could do. I wish someone would make a 16-bit Smash Brothers game - you know how making pixel-based games is in now - like that. Someone, anyone, you - you who's reading this - make a 16-bit Smash Brothers game with sprites from SNES games. You can do it. I have faith in you.
I don't think I was the only kid who thoroughly enjoyed toys that were broken and had missing appendages. I had this shitty He-Man figurine, I think his name was Fisto or something. I must have ripped his legs off at some point during a temper tantrum, and he was so much cooler without legs. Those dumb toys couldn't stand up on their own anyway, so it's not like the toy lost any functionality. He became this dude with no legs who could float! And in certain circumstances, he could fly. A million times cooler than some dipshit in gay brown underwear and shoes wearing a metal glove.
I remember playing Super Mario Bros., and I remember my mom going to rent Super Mario Bros. 2 for me at Blockbuster when I was at school one day, and what a really nice thing that was of her to do. I turned out pretty rotten, and I wonder how much more rotten I'd turn out if I had shitty parents.
Do you remember the Super Mario World Cartoon? How come those Mario cartoons kinda made cool video characters very unlikable? Yoshi was a total retard, and in the original Super Mario Bros. cartoon, Toad was queerbait.