PaRCha - JNU - All Organisations - 2012 ID-53644
.
Join an Interactive Meeting organised by GSCASH with Counselors and GSCASH .
~8{2.0\~ . Counselors Shifa Haq (Psycltotlzerapist, Ehsaas, Ambedkar University).
4 Aug Tonight .
Nupur Dhingra (Psychotlterapist, Eltsaas, Ambedkar University).
Shipra Mess 9.30pm .
It isn't enoughto acknowledge that it's wrong to attack a wornan with an axe. Or with a knife or gun Or with acid. .
After all, that is something most ofus here in JNUwould acknowledge-and yet this terrible incident could take place .
on our campus. .
We need to begin to talk about how we-men and wornen both-and our culture acknowledges the right ofwomen to .
. Do we teach and encow-age men to acknowledge a woman's autonomy with grace and with respect?.
.
say 'No' .
In the wake ofthe terrible incident ofgender violence that has shaken JNU, we all need to look within and re-examine .
.
our attitudes towards gender and towards our the relation between men and women. .
Kolaveri Da? .
.Ren1ember 'Kolaveri Di', which went viral on the internet?The song has a man singing languidly about a woman's .
'Soup boys', and the singer himselfexplains that.
.
'killer rage' ('kolaveri'), when she rejects him. The song is about .
"'Soup song' means 'rejection' song. 'Soup boys' are boys who got rejected." The song has lyrics about amannursing .
his glass ofalcohol, in the wake ofrejection by a girl who insists on English, and who is 'white'but has a 'black' heart. .
.
This popular song accuses woman of'kolaveri' (Tamil for killer rage). But in fact, is it women, or men who display .
'killer rage'?Isn't it tnostly men whose 'ego' is hurt by a won1an's 'No', who indulge in acid attacks, in stalking and .
other forms ofviolence? Doesn't our culture glorify this masculine inability to take 'No' from a woman? Doesn't our .
culture have immense reserves ofsympathy and even admiration for the figure ofthe tragic, 'spurned' lover? The .
Ko!averi song isc'1e instance. And then, look at ow· obse~.sion y·vith the Devdas story-astoryofaman who self-.
destructs because ofhis obsessive love for a woman he cannot marry. Govinda sings "kab tak roothegi, cheekhegi, .
.
chillayegi, dil kehta hai ek din haseena maanjaaye~i''-indicating to n1en that they should keep 'pursuing' women .
even when they shout, scream and make it amply clear that the answer is a NO. .
.
How does popular cinema in India look at thefigure ofthe woman who rejects a man or walks out ofa relationship? .
When Bollywood remakes 'Kramer vs Kramer' (as Akele Hum Akele Tum), it has to vilify the divorce-seeking wife .
and subject her to lectures on her job as wife and mother. The same when Hollywood remakes Mrs Doubtfire as .
Chachi 420. Inthe Hollywood versions ofthese films, there is a fair bit ofsympathy for the wife's frustration with .
.
husbands who are insensitive to their careers and neglectful ofany domestic work, and the men concerned learn and .
change as a result of having to bear the responsibility ofbringing up a child. But in the Bollywoodversions, as in the .
Kolaveri song, the women are lectured about their class arrogance and/or career aspirations which they place .
.
above maternaland wifely duty. .
What is scary is that our sympathy for the obsessive J'H~le 'lover' (and condemnation ofa woman who .
.
breaks/rejects a relationship) isn't confined to films. It plays out in real life. And therefore, stalking, wrist-.
slitting, erratic and violent behavior that threatens destruction rtnd self-destruction both is rationalized as love, and .
natural given how hurt the man is and how deeply he loves tne girl. \Vhen our friend indulges in stalking, sending .
hundreds ofSMSes or making incessant calls,threatening suicide orviolence to the woman they 'lovt;' do \¥e recognise .
it as stalking? Do we counsel him to stop and make sure be does? Or do we believe this isjust natumJ behaviour for .
someone in 'love', and do we believe the woman is being insensitive for 'rejecting' him? Re1nember how Sharad .
Yadav, JD(U) MP, during the debate in Parliament over the new rape law some months back asked how men could .
.
persuade any woman to marry them unlessthey stalked her? l It is almost as ifthe agency ofa woman to take decisions about her life, to decide to walk in orwalk out of 't we be concerned about.
relationships, simply does not need to be acknowledged and respected. Shouldn.
teaching men to respect a woman's autonomy and her right to take decisions, instead ofglorifying obsession and .
violence in the narrie of'love'? We need to keep reminding ourselves that no 1natter what the Hindi or the Tamil orthe .
.
P.T.O. .
.
, .
.
PaRCha - JNU - All Organisations - 2012 ID-53644
.
Join an Interactive Meeting organised by GSCASH with Counselors and GSCASH .
~8{2.0\~ . Counselors Shifa Haq (Psycltotlzerapist, Ehsaas, Ambedkar University).
4 Aug Tonight .
Nupur Dhingra (Psychotlterapist, Eltsaas, Ambedkar University).
Shipra Mess 9.30pm .
It isn't enoughto acknowledge that it's wrong to attack a wornan with an axe. Or with a knife or gun Or with acid. .
After all, that is something most ofus here in JNUwould acknowledge-and yet this terrible incident could take place .
on our campus. .
We need to begin to talk about how we-men and wornen both-and our culture acknowledges the right ofwomen to .
. Do we teach and encow-age men to acknowledge a woman's autonomy with grace and with respect?.
.
say 'No' .
In the wake ofthe terrible incident ofgender violence that has shaken JNU, we all need to look within and re-examine .
.
our attitudes towards gender and towards our the relation between men and women. .
Kolaveri Da? .
.Ren1ember 'Kolaveri Di', which went viral on the internet?The song has a man singing languidly about a woman's .
'Soup boys', and the singer himselfexplains that.
.
'killer rage' ('kolaveri'), when she rejects him. The song is about .
"'Soup song' means 'rejection' song. 'Soup boys' are boys who got rejected." The song has lyrics about amannursing .
his glass ofalcohol, in the wake ofrejection by a girl who insists on English, and who is 'white'but has a 'black' heart. .
.
This popular song accuses woman of'kolaveri' (Tamil for killer rage). But in fact, is it women, or men who display .
'killer rage'?Isn't it tnostly men whose 'ego' is hurt by a won1an's 'No', who indulge in acid attacks, in stalking and .
other forms ofviolence? Doesn't our culture glorify this masculine inability to take 'No' from a woman? Doesn't our .
culture have immense reserves ofsympathy and even admiration for the figure ofthe tragic, 'spurned' lover? The .
Ko!averi song isc'1e instance. And then, look at ow· obse~.sion y·vith the Devdas story-astoryofaman who self-.
destructs because ofhis obsessive love for a woman he cannot marry. Govinda sings "kab tak roothegi, cheekhegi, .
.
chillayegi, dil kehta hai ek din haseena maanjaaye~i''-indicating to n1en that they should keep 'pursuing' women .
even when they shout, scream and make it amply clear that the answer is a NO. .
.
How does popular cinema in India look at thefigure ofthe woman who rejects a man or walks out ofa relationship? .
When Bollywood remakes 'Kramer vs Kramer' (as Akele Hum Akele Tum), it has to vilify the divorce-seeking wife .
and subject her to lectures on her job as wife and mother. The same when Hollywood remakes Mrs Doubtfire as .
Chachi 420. Inthe Hollywood versions ofthese films, there is a fair bit ofsympathy for the wife's frustration with .
.
husbands who are insensitive to their careers and neglectful ofany domestic work, and the men concerned learn and .
change as a result of having to bear the responsibility ofbringing up a child. But in the Bollywoodversions, as in the .
Kolaveri song, the women are lectured about their class arrogance and/or career aspirations which they place .
.
above maternaland wifely duty. .
What is scary is that our sympathy for the obsessive J'H~le 'lover' (and condemnation ofa woman who .
.
breaks/rejects a relationship) isn't confined to films. It plays out in real life. And therefore, stalking, wrist-.
slitting, erratic and violent behavior that threatens destruction rtnd self-destruction both is rationalized as love, and .
natural given how hurt the man is and how deeply he loves tne girl. \Vhen our friend indulges in stalking, sending .
hundreds ofSMSes or making incessant calls,threatening suicide orviolence to the woman they 'lovt;' do \¥e recognise .
it as stalking? Do we counsel him to stop and make sure be does? Or do we believe this isjust natumJ behaviour for .
someone in 'love', and do we believe the woman is being insensitive for 'rejecting' him? Re1nember how Sharad .
Yadav, JD(U) MP, during the debate in Parliament over the new rape law some months back asked how men could .
.
persuade any woman to marry them unlessthey stalked her? l It is almost as ifthe agency ofa woman to take decisions about her life, to decide to walk in orwalk out of 't we be concerned about.
relationships, simply does not need to be acknowledged and respected. Shouldn.
teaching men to respect a woman's autonomy and her right to take decisions, instead ofglorifying obsession and .
violence in the narrie of'love'? We need to keep reminding ourselves that no 1natter what the Hindi or the Tamil orthe .
.
P.T.O. .
.
, .
.