PaRCha - JNU - AISA chits - 2013 ID-14678
.
aisa Join an Interactive Meeting organised by GSCASH.
.
with Counselors and GSCASH.
.
4 Aug Tonight Ship- Counselors.
Shifa Haq (Psychotherapist, Ehsaas, Ambedkar University).
ra Mess 9.30pm.
Nupur Dhingra (Psychotherapist, Ehsaas, Ambedkar University).
.
It isn't enough to acknowledge that it's wrong to attack a woman with an axe. Or with a knife or gun. Or with.
acid. After all, that is something most of us here in JNU would acknowledge - and yet this terrible incident.
could take place on our campus..
.
We need to begin to talk about how we - men and women both - and our culture acknowledges the right of.
women to say `No'. Do we teach and encourage men to acknowledge a woman's autonomy with grace and.
with respect?.
.
In the wake of the terrible incident of gender violence that has shaken JNU, we all need to look within and.
re-examine our attitudes towards gender and towards our the relation between men and women..
.
Kolaveri Da?.
.
Remember `Kolaveri Di', which went viral on the internet? The song has a man singing languidly about a.
woman's `killer rage' (`kolaveri'), when she rejects him. The song is about `Soup boys', and the singer himself.
explains that "`Soup song' means `rejection' song. `Soup boys' are boys who got rejected." The song has lyrics.
about a man nursing his glass of alcohol, in the wake of rejection by a girl who insists on English, and who is.
`white' but has a `black' heart..
.
This popular song accuses woman of `kolaveri' (Tamil for killer rage). But in fact, is it women, or men who.
display `killer rage'? Isn't it mostly men whose `ego' is hurt by a woman's `No', who indulge in acid attacks,.
in stalking and other forms of violence? Doesn't our culture glorify this masculine inability to take `No' from.
a woman? Doesn't our culture have immense reserves of sympathy and even admiration for the figure of the.
tragic, `spurned' lover? The Kolaveri song is one instance. And then, look at our obsession with the Devdas.
story - a story of a man who self-destructs because of his obsessive love for a woman he cannot marry. Govinda.
sings "kab tak roothegi, cheekhegi, chillayegi, dil kehta hai ek din haseena maan jaayegi" - indicating to.
men that they should keep `pursuing' women even when they shout, scream and make it amply clear that the.
answer is a NO..
.
How does popular cinema in India look at the figure of the woman who rejects a man or walks out of a.
relationship? When Bollywood remakes 'Kramer vs Kramer' (as Akele Hum Akele Tum), it has to vilify the.
divorce-seeking wife and subject her to lectures on her job as wife and mother. The same when Hollywood.
remakes Mrs Doubtfire as Chachi 420. In the Hollywood versions of these films, there is a fair bit of sympathy.
for the wife's frustration with husbands who are insensitive to their careers and neglectful of any domestic work,.
and the men concerned learn and change as a result of having to bear the responsibility of bringing up a child..
But in the Bollywood versions, as in the Kolaveri song, the women are lectured about their class arrogance.
and/or career aspirations which they place above maternal and wifely duty..
.
What is scary is that our sympathy for the obsessive male `lover' (and condemnation of a woman who.
breaks/rejects a relationship) isn't confined to films. It plays out in real life. And therefore, stalking, wrist-.
slitting, erratic and violent behavior that threatens destruction and self-destruction both is rationalized as love,.
and natural given how hurt the man is and how deeply he loves the girl. When our friend indulges in stalking,.
sending hundreds of SMSes or making incessant calls, threatening suicide or violence to the woman they `love,'.
do we recognise it as stalking? Do we counsel him to stop and make sure he does? Or do we believe this is.
just natural behaviour for someone in `love', and do we believe the woman is being insensitive for `rejecting'.
him? Remember how Sharad Yadav, JD(U) MP, during the debate in Parliament over the new rape law some.
months back asked how men could persuade any woman to marry them unless they stalked her?.
.
It is almost as if the agency of a woman to take decisions about her life, to decide to walk in or walk out.
of relationships, simply does not need to be acknowledged and respected. Shouldn't we be concernedPa.bTo.uOt..
..
PaRCha - JNU - AISA chits - 2013 ID-14678
.
aisa Join an Interactive Meeting organised by GSCASH.
.
with Counselors and GSCASH.
.
4 Aug Tonight Ship- Counselors.
Shifa Haq (Psychotherapist, Ehsaas, Ambedkar University).
ra Mess 9.30pm.
Nupur Dhingra (Psychotherapist, Ehsaas, Ambedkar University).
.
It isn't enough to acknowledge that it's wrong to attack a woman with an axe. Or with a knife or gun. Or with.
acid. After all, that is something most of us here in JNU would acknowledge - and yet this terrible incident.
could take place on our campus..
.
We need to begin to talk about how we - men and women both - and our culture acknowledges the right of.
women to say `No'. Do we teach and encourage men to acknowledge a woman's autonomy with grace and.
with respect?.
.
In the wake of the terrible incident of gender violence that has shaken JNU, we all need to look within and.
re-examine our attitudes towards gender and towards our the relation between men and women..
.
Kolaveri Da?.
.
Remember `Kolaveri Di', which went viral on the internet? The song has a man singing languidly about a.
woman's `killer rage' (`kolaveri'), when she rejects him. The song is about `Soup boys', and the singer himself.
explains that "`Soup song' means `rejection' song. `Soup boys' are boys who got rejected." The song has lyrics.
about a man nursing his glass of alcohol, in the wake of rejection by a girl who insists on English, and who is.
`white' but has a `black' heart..
.
This popular song accuses woman of `kolaveri' (Tamil for killer rage). But in fact, is it women, or men who.
display `killer rage'? Isn't it mostly men whose `ego' is hurt by a woman's `No', who indulge in acid attacks,.
in stalking and other forms of violence? Doesn't our culture glorify this masculine inability to take `No' from.
a woman? Doesn't our culture have immense reserves of sympathy and even admiration for the figure of the.
tragic, `spurned' lover? The Kolaveri song is one instance. And then, look at our obsession with the Devdas.
story - a story of a man who self-destructs because of his obsessive love for a woman he cannot marry. Govinda.
sings "kab tak roothegi, cheekhegi, chillayegi, dil kehta hai ek din haseena maan jaayegi" - indicating to.
men that they should keep `pursuing' women even when they shout, scream and make it amply clear that the.
answer is a NO..
.
How does popular cinema in India look at the figure of the woman who rejects a man or walks out of a.
relationship? When Bollywood remakes 'Kramer vs Kramer' (as Akele Hum Akele Tum), it has to vilify the.
divorce-seeking wife and subject her to lectures on her job as wife and mother. The same when Hollywood.
remakes Mrs Doubtfire as Chachi 420. In the Hollywood versions of these films, there is a fair bit of sympathy.
for the wife's frustration with husbands who are insensitive to their careers and neglectful of any domestic work,.
and the men concerned learn and change as a result of having to bear the responsibility of bringing up a child..
But in the Bollywood versions, as in the Kolaveri song, the women are lectured about their class arrogance.
and/or career aspirations which they place above maternal and wifely duty..
.
What is scary is that our sympathy for the obsessive male `lover' (and condemnation of a woman who.
breaks/rejects a relationship) isn't confined to films. It plays out in real life. And therefore, stalking, wrist-.
slitting, erratic and violent behavior that threatens destruction and self-destruction both is rationalized as love,.
and natural given how hurt the man is and how deeply he loves the girl. When our friend indulges in stalking,.
sending hundreds of SMSes or making incessant calls, threatening suicide or violence to the woman they `love,'.
do we recognise it as stalking? Do we counsel him to stop and make sure he does? Or do we believe this is.
just natural behaviour for someone in `love', and do we believe the woman is being insensitive for `rejecting'.
him? Remember how Sharad Yadav, JD(U) MP, during the debate in Parliament over the new rape law some.
months back asked how men could persuade any woman to marry them unless they stalked her?.
.
It is almost as if the agency of a woman to take decisions about her life, to decide to walk in or walk out.
of relationships, simply does not need to be acknowledged and respected. Shouldn't we be concernedPa.bTo.uOt..
..