nixpayn
Rock bottom
Sometimes the haze clears and you're left with an introspective nightmare. The children are asleep and it's just me and some bottles.
I keep looking for a purpose. Sometimes I play the clown, sometimes i play the rock, sometimes i play the fleeting memory, and sometimes i play as a concept.
Very rarely do i get to play myself.
Just because i can take so much more than most people can before i crack, doesn't mean i don't have scars, or that i wasn't there too.
Generally I'm in the shadows holding a light, taking a back seat to my own life because I don't share the same check list as most people. I don't need to be remembered, I don't need to contribute, I don't need to pretend I'm more impressed or impressive than I am.
I want to exist without making a sound. I want to watch the world through a filter that strips away the bullshit and deception. I want to know that I'm not alone even if it means there's no one with me.
I'm tired of being restless. I'm tired of not being able to sleep because I'm worried that life will pass me by and leave me wanting more. I'm tired of not being able to reach out and grab hold of something more solid than the validation of peers and bank balances.
I want to build something simple that makes sense and share it with the world. A place where honor still matters, where honesty is common place, where we stand up for what's right and not what's easy. A place where we don't judge on a criteria that we can't even measure ourselves by. A place where we still remember what human contact is like and we don't need to hide from each other.
Make me smile and I'll give you the world. Hold my hand and I'll take you through the bleakest wasteland to something better. Show me your soul and I'll make it a home.
Rock bottom
Sometimes the haze clears and you're left with an introspective nightmare. The children are asleep and it's just me and some bottles.
I keep looking for a purpose. Sometimes I play the clown, sometimes i play the rock, sometimes i play the fleeting memory, and sometimes i play as a concept.
Very rarely do i get to play myself.
Just because i can take so much more than most people can before i crack, doesn't mean i don't have scars, or that i wasn't there too.
Generally I'm in the shadows holding a light, taking a back seat to my own life because I don't share the same check list as most people. I don't need to be remembered, I don't need to contribute, I don't need to pretend I'm more impressed or impressive than I am.
I want to exist without making a sound. I want to watch the world through a filter that strips away the bullshit and deception. I want to know that I'm not alone even if it means there's no one with me.
I'm tired of being restless. I'm tired of not being able to sleep because I'm worried that life will pass me by and leave me wanting more. I'm tired of not being able to reach out and grab hold of something more solid than the validation of peers and bank balances.
I want to build something simple that makes sense and share it with the world. A place where honor still matters, where honesty is common place, where we stand up for what's right and not what's easy. A place where we don't judge on a criteria that we can't even measure ourselves by. A place where we still remember what human contact is like and we don't need to hide from each other.
Make me smile and I'll give you the world. Hold my hand and I'll take you through the bleakest wasteland to something better. Show me your soul and I'll make it a home.